


Working Woman

by Kir14



Category: Once Upon a Time (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Escort Service, F/M, Fluff and Smut, Light Bondage, Past Rape/Non-con
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-03
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2018-07-29 04:28:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 21
Words: 93,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7670080
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kir14/pseuds/Kir14
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Henry Swan was just trying to impress a girl. Until impressing her lands him being taken home by a cop. Officer Jones. His and Emma's meet doesn't go quite as plesant as he hoped,  but as a stressed single mom a boyfriend is the last thing she's looking for until it's not.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time writing in well over 7 years so please be kind! Haha I really hope to get some feedback. If you please bear with me through the first few chapters I promise it's not so choppy and short the farther you get! :) Also quite a bit of smut through the story! Thank you for reading! :)

"Shit! Shit! Shit! Bad idea! This cannot be happening!" Henry thought to himself, as he darted laboriously down dark alleyways. All for a girl,  Paige. If he wouldn't have been showing off, cops wouldn't have been called.Hansel had told him girls liked the bad boys.  Vandalizing and busting windows wasn't usually his thing, but Paige was there, and Hansel had pestered him about it.His feet pounding the pavement, his lungs burning, sucking in air becoming harder with each step. He dashed through an alley, plowing into the chest of a very solid person.

 "Sorry sir", he managed through gasps, before realizing who he was apologizing to. The cop he was evading.

 "In a hurry young lad?" The cop asked before grabbing Henry's arm. "Come on, I need to speak with your parents."

He was plotting good excuses the entire ride, poorly he might add. His mom was going to kill him.

"Where do you live...?" He started.

"Henry. 614 Walnut Ridge." He said, embarrassed. The bad part of town, full of rundown apartments and houses. He shifted uncomfortably, dreading facing his mom.

They pull into the complex, Henry slowly sliding out of the car.

"Lead the way." The officer says, holding his arm out, sounding more sincere than before. Henry knew. Everyone treated him differently when they discovered where he lived. Either mockery or pity.  This cop was showing pity. Eyes of residents burning holes all through his body as he passed them. 

"Here." Henry said, "but she may not be able to answer the door. She works at 8 and it's 7:15. She may be in the shower. " He was trying to get out of this. To be able to walk in, without his mom having to know an officer was his ride home. 

"Nice try lad. But you broke a many laws. I can't just let it slip without repercussion now."

* * *

Officer Killian Jones was reading a book when the call came in. Kids spotted smashing windows of all the buildings on 6th street. 6 kids total.

"Copy that. I'm on 5th and can be there pronto. May need backup due to the number."

"I'll be there shortly", Officer David Nolan chimed back.

He should have known they'd run. And bloody hell were they quick, he thought. "Got runners. I'm on foot. One suspect, maybe 13." He wouldn't even be chasing him if this wasn't the third time this week they destroyed property. It took no time at all to catch the boy. He knew these streets like the back of his hand. The next part was never his favorite.

He knocked on the door. He heard a muffled "coming", along with nearing footsteps.

* * *

She opened the door stunned, and instantly pissed. Trying to stay calm, leaning against the door frame, she finally opened her mouth.

"Yes?" She said, knowing his purpose.

"Goo-uh well evening ma'am.  Sorry to be coming to your door at this hour, but your boy here was part of a group of 6 that were destroying property. This isn't the first offense, I'm afraid."

She looked at Henry to get inside, eyes saying she would be dealing with him later. Her towel falling from her head as she jerked her head.

"Sorry officer..." she squinted at his chest, "Jones. This won't happen again. My boy isn't usually a trouble maker. He's just at that age, or so they say. Absent father,  adolescent teen." She said, scrunching her hair in the towel.

"I just don't want to see him in trouble to the point of juvie ma'am."

"Please quit calling me that. Emma Swan is my name. I'm not old."

He had noticed. He wasn't expecting someone so, well, young.

"Aye, it's just good form. Apologies, Ms. Swan."

"Well if there's anything else, I'd appreciate it if you'd hurry. I need to get ready for work. I can't afford to be late again. This shift is short enough without being late."

"Aye, I suppose that's all. I hope to not be bringing the lad back here under similar conditions." He smiled.

"Same, well goodnight officer." She said, watching him lift a hand and turn to leave. She couldn't help but watch him. He was one of the most attractive officers she'd laid eyes on. Those blue eyes, too pretty to belong on a man, his scruff that covered just enough of his face but complimenting his sharp jaw line, and that accent! She closed her door,  letting out a long sigh. Not even having realized she was holding her breath."Time for work."

* * *

 She arrived at the diner, walking in like her world was crumbling. 

"Uh oh. What is it?" Her long time friend, Ruby asked as she shoveled past.

"Henry. A cop brought him home. A cop, Ruby! I'm failing him."

"Oh Em, you're not failing him. You've been the best mother I've ever seen. You sacrifice everything for him. Don't you, for one second, think you're failing! Maybe ask him about it when he gets out of school tomorrow. Have him come here. Ground him. Just do what you have to until you figure out why he's acting out."

Emma sighed, "I know why. He's thirteen and fatherless. He is at the crutial age where he  _needs_ a father."

"Emma! Ruby!  Back to work. You're not being paid to sit around and chat." Granny had said, peering out of her office.

"Just talk to him." Ruby said,  grabbing two plates and heading to a table.

* * *

Emma was cleaning up one last time before finally closing.

"Need a ride home?" Ruby asked, grabbing her coat.

"No I'm fine. I could use the fresh air. Gather My thoughts. I'm...nevermind. I'll see you at six."

"Emma, what is it?" She studied Emma for a moment. "You're not? I thought you didn't do that anymore. It's not safe. I worry about you Em."

Emma gave her a soft, fake smile.  "I don't have a choice, Rube. I can't make rent working here alone. Not with all the other bills anyways.  I'm going to be safe. I promise.  I log in with my employer. They know where I am and who I'm with. I have a specific time to check in before my boss sends some people to find me. I  _will_ be okay."

"But it's already midnight. You have to be back here at six. You will only have a few hours of sleep before working a full shift. "

Emma was done discussing it, walked out, trying to hide her anger. She had somewhere to be.

* * *

She left the hotel where she had met her client. Breathing fresh air, just wanting a shower and her bed. She looked at her phone for the time. 

_Two. Damn. Leaves me barely any sleep._

She sighed, wrapping her arms around herself and walked. She had only walked a few minutes when a car crept up beside her.

"Excuse me, love. Do you need a ride?"

_oh God! It's **him**_

"No officer, I'm fine. I'm not too far now." She gave him her fake smile.

"Please let me. It's freezing and I know you've had a bad day. It's the least I could do for bringing your boy home in such a manner."

She looked at him through the passenger window, sighing. He gave her a childish, goofy, ( _and sexy, no Emma not sexy!)_ grin. She slid into the seat, hoping she didn't smell too bad.

"Well no need in telling me where you live." He joked, attempting to break the silence. 

"Yeah." Was all she murmured. 

 

* * *

He was trying to make light conversarion, but failing miserably. She smelled like sex. Sex, smoke, and alcohol. He shook his head, trying to avoid her in such a room.

"I thought you worked at the diner." He stated, with a questioning tone while trying not to pry too much.

"I do. I got off at midnight. Had another job back that way." She said, pointing behind her.

"But there's nothing that way."

She noticed his intrusion. "Is there a problem officer?" She hissed, eyes low,  searing a hole in his head.

"Sorry love. Just trying to keep the silence away. Wasn't trying to pry." He silenced for a moment. "I mean...it is a problem if what you're doing is illegal." He said, back to his smug, condescending  tone.

"Don't worry officer. I'm not a fucking prostitute. Do I look like one?! You know what, don't answer that. Let me out. This far is fine."

"I just don't want your boy without a mother. You mentioned he has no father. I-"

"Let me stop you right there, you self righteous prick. My child is  **none** of your concern.  He  _won't_ be getting into trouble again.  I'm a grown ass woman.  I can handle myself.  _ **Everything**_ I do is for my son, I don't need this.  _Fuck off_." She snarled, slamming the car door and turned the corner.

"Bloody hell." Was all he could muster.

* * *

 

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Finished this super early. I had finished chapter one days ago, but was waiting to be invited to the site to post so I had time to work on half of it a couple days ago and finishes it way quicker than I expected to. Enjoy. Love the feedback! :)

Emma slipped into her apartment and headed straight for the bathroom. If she was lucky she could get two hours of sleep in. She slipped into the shower and leaned against the wall, letting the hot water crash into her spine. 

_The nerve of that cop_

She quickly washed her body and hurried to bed. She would be hating herself in a couple hours.

Five o'clock came too fast for Emma's liking. She quickly got dressed, pulled her hair back, and made Henry's lunch. She decides to leave him a note: 

_Henry,_

_We need to discuss the issue with you being brought home by an officer last night. Come straight to Granny's after school. No pit stops!_

_love, mom_

They live just a couple blocks from the diner. Her beetle still having problems, fortunately wasn't an issue too much for the time being. It would still be nice to be able to drive to work occasionally, though. As she approached the diner, Ruby unlocked the door.

"Emma. I need to say something. I'm sorry if I pushed you away last night. I just worry."

"I know, I'm sorry too. I was letting everything with Henry get me in a foul mood. He is coming here after school."

They opened the diner as they're usual early crowd arrived. Emma walked back towards the kitchen where Ruby was breaking.

"Ugh this sucks. Everyone keeps asking if I'm okay or if I'm sick. Do I look that bad?"

Ruby looked up from her phone, "a little. I mean, you look exhausted. What time did you get home last night? "

"Well I got home at 2:30 but didn't hit my pillow until around 3. I got two hours of sleep.  Luckily I don't have a client until way later. I can get some sleep this evening."

"Does Henry know?  Where does he think you're going?"

Emma gave Ruby the  _please don't hate me_ look. "I told him I do a little housekeeping at the hotel I meet the clients in. We meet there. Sometimes they just want to have sex, but sometimes they take me to dinner or movies. Sometimes they don't even want sex at all. So see, it's not all that bad." She said, trying to make light of the situation. Before Ruby can say anything,  Emma was back to the front of the diner. She was grabbing plates off a table when the door opened, setting off the bell on the handle. 

"Just a minute and I'll seat you." She said, without looking up. She took the plates to the back and returned to seat the customer.

"You." She sighed, eyeing Killian Jones.

"Aye, I am here for breakfast before heading home. Had a little time." He paused lowering his voice. "I want to apologize for last night."

"This way sir." She huffed. Once he was seated she continued,  "drink?" He was looking up at her stunned by her refusal to accept his apology.

"Didnt you hear me love? I'm trying to apologize. "

" I said, drink? What do you want to drink?"

He sighed, "coffee. Can you just-" she was walking off.

"You have got to be kidding me!" She stammered as she reached the kitchen.

"What? I'm almost done with my break! " Ruby shouted in defense.

"No not you.  _Him."_ She hissed. "That cop. He's the one that brought Henry home."

"Am I missing something? Was he a jerk about it?"

"No he gave me a ride home after my client and was just hateful."

"Oh...um. Well i don't know what to say. Without knowing what was said."

Emma sighed, "nevermind. I have to go get his order."

She reappeared with his coffee. "Ready to order?" She asked flatly.

"Not until you accept my apology. I wasn't intending to be so rash. Just looking out. It's part of my job."

"Yeah well cops don't always do their jobs." She mumbled hoping he didn't hear.  She caught his gaze before doodling on her pad. He had a smirk on his face, and a brow raised.  _Cocky son of a bitch. Hot son of a...no stop._ He noticed her stare and cleared his throat. "Don't worry about it Jones. What can I get you to eat?"

"Killian. No need to call me Jones. I'm off duty. I'll have the eggs and bacon." He said, emphasizing the n.

"Alright. I'll have it right out." Her fake smile surfacing. His mouth smiling,  but his eyes becoming suddenly questioning.

* * *

Around noon, Henry popped into the diner.

"Henry! What are you doing out of school?" Emma scolded.

"Relax mom. Parent teacher conferences are today at 2. We got out early."

"Oh that was today? I totally forgot! Just so you know you're grounded. We'll talk more after the conference.  Go take a seat, you can eat on the lunch I packed you this morning. Hey Ruby, I have a meeting at the school at 2. Think you can cover the last hour so I have time to get to the school?"

"No problem Em. It's just one hour. It's not like the boss isn't my family" she laughed.

Emma smiled. "I'd be lost without you Rube!"

* * *

 

Emma entered Henrys teachers room.

"Knock knock. Mary Margaret? " Emma asked,  peering inside. 

"Emma! Come in! I haven't been able to get ahold of you in weeks! I miss our talks. Have a seat." She gestured towards a desk.

"Before you start can I ask if Henry has been acting normal?" Emma asked with concern. 

Mary Margaret looked worried before responding.  "Yes? He's doing good.  Not as good as he used to,  but I've noticed that he has wandering eyes.  I feel that may be what's made him slack a little.  But he's still doing good. Has something happened at home? "

"Well he was brought home by a cop last night.  For destroying property. By wandering eye do you mean a girl? "Emma asked, her voice reaching a higher pitch as she said girl.

"Yes, he's been looking at one girl a little more than usual.  He's been spending more time around Hansel." She paused. "Emma are you okay? You look like you haven't slept in days."

"I had a late night is all. If Henry is doing okay, I hope you don't mind me ending this meeting. I need a nap." 

"Of course! It was great seeing you. With tomorrow being Saturday,  you should join me and David for a drink."

"Celebrating?" Emma seemed shocked. 

"David proposed! " She said giddy. "I wanted to celebrate so we are inviting some friends. I miss you."

"I'll be there. Congratulations, hun! I'm hearing a bed calling my name." They hugged and said their goodbyes.

* * *

Emma stops by to pick up Henry. They are walking home when she mentions it.

"Are you trying to impress a girl?" 

Henry chokes, "mom!" He starts but stops. "Yeah. Hansel said girls like a bad boy. I'm sorry."

"Henry, not every girl likes that. Have you thought about what this girl is interested in?  You need to remember kid,  your dad was one of those bad boys.  He was not a good guy.  I fell for his charm and he about destroyed me. Be yourself. If she's going to like you, she needs to like the real you. You're going to have Ruby here for a little bit tonight. I have to work at the hotel for a few hours. But I'll be home around midnight. You don't give her trouble.  I'm going to nap for a few hours before my shift.  Love you kid." She said as she opened the door.

* * *

She awoke to the front door opening and heels hitting the floor. She got up and started getting ready for her 'date'

"Thank you for watching him. "Emma was telling Ruby while grabbing her coat and purse.  "Henry is in his room.  Check on him periodically. Don't need him sneaking out."

"Did you ever talk to him? Why is he being so careless?"

"A girl." Emma said as she kissed Ruby's cheek. "See you at midnight "

"Can't promise I won't be asleep." She snorted.

* * *

Emma met her date outside of the hotel. He was a man she recognized, but couldn't figure out who he was. "Hey I'm Emma " she said holding out her hand. 

"Jefferson. What a pleasure.  You are gorgeous! Shall we head to the restaurant? Then I want to stop by the rabbit hole after."

"That's fine. I'm here for your pleasure." She said seductively with her fake smile. He led her to his car and helped her in.

_So far so good. At least he's being a gentleman._

* * *

After dinner they headed to the local bar. They found the bartender.

"What would you like sweetheart?" Jefferson asked.

"Long island iced tea will be fine. Thank you."

"Jack and coke for me."

It doesn't take long for her to notice Officer Jones is having a beer at a table with a few guys. "Shit." She mumbled mostly to herself.

"What was that sweetheart?" Jefferson asked.

"Oh nothing. Thinking out loud." She turns to make sure Killian doesn't spot her. Jefferson is tossing drinks back while Emma was slowly sipping hers. Trying to avoid getting drunk, occasionally passing glances at Killian table.

"Well sweet legs, you ready to go upstairs?"

Emma choked on her drink, "pardon? I'm sorry I only use the hotel we met at."

"Make an exception darling. Robin has already given me a room."

She sighed, "okay but I have to leave right after.  This won't be accepted next time."

"That's fine." He says as he leaned forward crushing his lips to hers while trailing to the back of the bar towards the rooms. She opens her eyes to see Killian's icy blues staring right back at her. She broke her contact with Jefferson and yanked him towards the stairs. She had to get out of his vision and quick! 

* * *

Emma was making her way back to the bar, just wanting to get the hell out of there. Killian was still sitting there, as if waiting to see her return. She caught his eye and fled as soon as she saw him stand.

_Oh God! Oh God!_

As she hurried down the road she could hear a faint call, " Swan!" She made sure she was gone before he could catch up. 

* * *

Killian had been in the company of friends, trying to relax after working a call. Then he saw her.

_What the hell is she doing here?! Who is she with?!_

"Kill, what are you looking at?" Will asked, uninterested in what he was actually looking at.

"Sorry, just thinking.  I need another drink." And then their eyes met. All he could do was look at her, chest feeling like an elephant was sitting on it. He felt like a fool, but he wanted to see if she would return to the bar or stay the night in the room. 

_Not that she's even my concern. She's grown. Who's to say she doesn't meet her boyfriend go have sex where she can. Having a son and all must make sex harder to achieve at home. Fuck, stop Killian._

And then she was back.  He was looking at her like a predator does prey, but he couldn't help it.

_She fucked him. She has that look on her face and her hair is still messed up. Stop it! Quit looking. You're freaking her out._

He stood up, but she was moving too fast. He ran out of the bar and call out to her.

"Way to blow it, Jones." He huffed to himself.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Little bit longer than the previous chapter. I'm hoping to keep them all this length from here on out. Not sure how many chapters I want to do. Definitely 5. But could be 10! Thanks for reading. I appreciate the feedback!


	3. Chapter 3

"Henry, are you ready?" Emma called from the bathroom.

"Yes mom. I've been ready for an hour now. " Henry chimed back, a slight annoyance in his tone. Emma surfaced from the bathroom, tying the last bit of hair into a pony tail.

"Alright, well let's go! Mary Margaret is excited to see us. I've been neglecting her friendship."

* * *

They arrived at David's house a few minutes earlier than expected.

"Emma! Henry!" Mary Margaret yelled cheerfully.  "We are just starting to have people arrive. Jeff and I were just discussing his daughter. He couldn't make it to the parent teacher conference. Henry, Paige is around back helping the guys with the grill." Henry ran passed to the backyard. "Emma this is Jefferson. Jefferson, this is Emma." Emma froze.

"Jefferson. Hey." She stammered. 

"Emma do you know him already?" Mary Margaret spoke, completely confused.

"Uh, yeah...a little."

"Hey Emma, you look great." Jefferson said softly as he kissed her cheek.

"Yeah...this is uh..." she hesitated. Mary Margaret  gave her a  _we'll discuss this later_ look.

"Okay well one less person to introduce." She stated, trying to remove obvious tension in the room. "We are going to be out back for the Bar-B-Q and we will see where it goes from there." She smiled. "You're welcome to stay for some food and drinks, Jefferson. Give Henry another child to hang with. "

He looked at Emma, who looked completely distressed. "If Emma doesn't mind."

"Why would I mind? It's fine. Let's all head out back. I could use a drink, and a seat." She said, shooting Jefferson a look.

_Kill me now!_

* * *

They walk through the back door, Mary Margaret feeling eager.

"Emma, this is Killian. He's a friend and coworker of David's.  Killian this is Emma."

"Seriously? Is this a joke?" Emma spat, before realizing she had spoke out loud.

"Emma? Is everything okay? You seem really tense." Mary Margaret whispered, grabbing Emma's arm.

"I know him. Quite well actually." Emma said, folding her arms.

"Swan, I didn't know you were friends with them. I'm not stalking you, love." Killian's voice growled, his mouth twisting into a devious grin.

"Right, because I would assume you were following me. Where is the beer? I need a seat."

Killian looked over at Jefferson, his smirk changing into a cocky, challenging one. "Killian Jones." He said holding out his hand.

"Jefferson." He said as Killian tightened his grip on Jefferson's hand.

"So you and Emma?" He asked, trying not to sound jealous and invasive.

"Oh no, no. Definitely not. She's not my type." He winked.

Killian narrowed his eyes. "Oh? Why not?"

"Well she's blonde for one.  I'm more of a brunette kind of guy. She's all about business and no play, if you catch my drift. Emma said she knew you. Are you a client too?" Jefferson asked, eyebrow raised, as he popped open a beer.

"Client? No, I  brought her boy home the other day "

"Yeah, client. She's an escort.  I thought it was obvious. I mean don't get me wrong, she's a good lay.  And it is better than having to use my hand. But she's just not my type in a general setting."

_An escort? What the bloody hell?! That's her second job. It's practically prostitution! Easy lay? Ugh stop it Killian. She isn't your concern. It's her body, and there's nothing against the law about it. Shit. Don't look at her funny. I really wish I didn't know all this. And this bloke speaking like she's a washed up rag. I should teach him a lesson on respect._

He looked over at Emma, who was laughing at something Mary Margaret has said.

_She must feel pretty awkward right now. I should do something. Pull yourself together, mate._

"Right. Should have known. Well enjoy your beer, I'm going to go speak with David." Killian walked over to the grill. "'Ey mate, any idea what Emma would like to drink? That's stronger than beer."

David lowered his eyes, "are you trying to hit on her?" He asked wryly. 

"I just noticed she looks vexed,  and I'm afraid it's my fault. I would like to make amends, if she will let me."

David jerked his head, urging Killian to follow him inside.  He reaches into the pantry and pulls out Scotch. "This. As long as I've known her, she's never turned down Scotch. And I've known her since Henry was about six. She has walls though, so don't expect her to just open up. It took a couple years for her to let Mary Margaret and I in. Her past is pretty traumatic,  you'll have to be patient if you expect the walls to come down for you. See Mary Margaret and I were friends, we weren't trying to be romantic with her. So like I said, be patient and give her time." He hands Killian the bottle and they make their way back outside to join the others.

"Hey David?  I invited August if that's okay." Emma said.

"Yeah of course. That's fine, the more the merrier." He smiled back.

"Swan, I thought you could use something a little stronger. Can we talk?"

Emma let out a big sigh, nodding to Mary Margaret. She rose and headed towards her fiancé by the grill. "What is it Jones?" She asked, grabbing the glass of scotch.

"About last night."

"You mean when you were spying on me?"

"Oh Swan, don't flatter yourself. I was merely having drinks with some old friends."

"You were staring at me. "

"But of course I was staring. A lady of your beauty deserves my full attention. " He winked,  his smile reaching his eyes. 

"Flattery gets you no where,  Jones. " knocking the scotch back,  closing her eyes.  "But damn this is good."

"Everything I can offer you is good." He stated matter-of-fact, twirling his finger in a loose piece of hair that circled her face. She smacked his hand away.

In your dreams, Jones."

"Always in my dreams. " He growled, eyes low as he licked his lips. Emma's eyes scanned his lips, before dropping to her empty glass. Her cheeks a light shade of Pink. 

"Be a gentleman, and fill me up?" She stopped. "Refill my glass with scotch " she corrected, when he smirked at her.

"Yes, m'lady." He stood and bowed. He took the glass from her, making sure his fingers grazed hers. Her eyes dropped once more.

"Emma!" A voice shouted, yanking her from her chair.

"August! I'm glad you made it! I haven't seen you in a year. You must tell me about your trip!"

"It's rather boring, sis. I just went to China to visit an all natural doctor for his accounts on how many people he has helped without using pharmaceutical drugs. How are you doing? I did miss you. I wrote you once a month. I never heard back though. I got worried."

"I've just been really busy. I've had to take on a second job to keep the place we have. I didn't have a phone for a couple months either.  Couldn't afford the bill."

"Emma why didn't you tell me? You and Henry must come stay with me at my place. It has plenty of room. You don't need to live in that neighborhood anyways. I didn't see your bug out front either."

"Something is wrong with it. And I couldn't afford to get it fixed." She sighed.

"Let me look at it. You really don't need to be without one. You and Henry'll come to my house on Monday. I'll get you moved in, I'll haul your car. I'll work on it myself. I have a few weeks off with how long I worked.  You could use the break. You shouldn't have to work two jobs to live in a shitty apartment. " He sighed, "I wish you would have wrote back. I could have been helping you."

"Yeah, but I'm not your responsibility.  I'm an adult, with a child."

"You're still my sister, and I'm going to look out for you til the day I die." He smiled. "Now who was that you were talking to? Boyfriend?"

"No!" She answered faster than she intended. "He brought Henry home the other night. He's a cop, who won't quit coming at me."

"Oh Em, you've got to give guys a break. Especially cops, we aren't in New York anymore." He pulled her into another hug. She looked over his shoulder, looking Killian over. He kept passing glances back at her, sometimes winking as he did.

* * *

David started the bonfire and pulls chairs all around it.

"Well, I'd like to thank all of our friends for celebrating this life changing event. It means so much to have you all here! To new beginnings!" He raised his beer,  clanking them with everyones.

"Aye, to new beginnings." Killian chimed, glancing at Emma. Their eyes locking.

"So Killian,  you never said what brought you to the states. You're my partner and you've kept it pretty quiet."

Emma kept her eyes on Killian.

_Is he nervous?_

Killian let out a slight choke before clearing his throat. "Thanks mate. Putting me on the spot. Well, I was living in England until about two years ago. I was an officer there, along with my brother. " He took a drink. "He died during a high speed chase. A few months later, my wife; Milah, found out she had cancer. Late stage. We came to the states to a doctor who was supposed to have been the best." His eyes lock on Emma, and on her alone. "But two months later, she was gone. Just stripped away. I decided to continue being an officer here. Hoping to start over. Excuse me for a moment. I need to use the bathroom." He slipped into the house. Emma let out a breath and stood. 

"I'm going to get more scotch." She waited outside of the bathroom. 

_Say something Emma.  Quit being a pussy. He's just a guy._

"Killian?" She spoke softly, his name coming out more shaky than she intended.

He opened the door, "Emma? Do you need in here? Sorry." He tried brushing past her, but was stopped by her hand on his arm.

"Stop, please. I want to give my condolences away from everyone else. I've been a real bitch."

He grabbed her hand,  "you're guarded Emma. Definitely not a bitch, love." He gently caressed his thumb on her knuckles. His eyes flickered to her lips as he licked his own. Her heart started pounding.

_Is he fixing to kiss me?!_

He stroked her cheek with his other hand, her eyes closing at the contact. He leaned down, their lips lightly grazing. Electricity immediately shooting through her.

"Emma? Emma?" They shot apart at the voice of Mary Margaret. 

"We'd better." She pointed towards the kitchen. 

"Yeah, I suppose you're right. After you."

She blushed and headed back to the kitchen to meet Mary Margaret. 

"I was wondering where you were! When you didn't come back I was worried you left. Mostly because Henry is still here." She smiled, glancing at Killian. 

"I needed to use the bathroom. I was waiting on Killian to get out." Mary Margaret knew she was lying. 

"Excuse me ladies." Killian said, slipping past them. His waist rubbing against Emma's. He gave her a wink.

 _What am I getting myself into?_ She thought.

* * *

Everyone was leaving.

"Again, congratulations you two.  I couldn't be happier." Emma said hugging Mary Margaret. "It's getting late though and Henry is starting to get grumpy.  Call me tomorrow and we will discuss a lunch date. "

"Emma, would you and Henry like a ride home?  I don't mind at all. I would actually prefer to." Killian said softly.

"Sure Jones you can give us a ride home. It is close midnight.  Henry! Time to go." She called towards the back. They walked outside to his car.

"This is your car?" She asked, lightly touching the Audi. "It's beautiful." She gasped.

"Aye, she is. But I'd like to think only I could get those sounds to escape your lips." he whispered, standing behind her, his breath tickling her ear and neck. She closed her eyes and leaned backwards. "Easy love." He spoke, his lip twisting into a smile. She jumped when she realized she had begun leaning into his chest.

"Huh? Sorry. I'm just tired." She lied. Her fake smile surfacing.

"Stop doing that." He said as he opened her door.

"Doing what?" She scoffed.

"Pretending to smile. I much prefer your genuine one." He shut her door as Henry barreled out of the house.

"Oh man! Sweet ride!" Henry chimed.

"Thanks lad, but I prefer my ship." He winked.

"No way! You have a ship?! That is awesome."

"I sure do, and you and your mum are free to come aboard whenever you like."

* * *

The ride home was filled with Henry hounding him about sailing. They pulled into the parking lot, and Emma urged Henry to go ahead. That she would be right behind him.

"Thank you Killian, for being nice to Henry. He hasn't had too many people to actually share his interests."

"It's nothing,  Emma.  Kids are important, and they must be treated as such. He's a good boy. You've done an outstanding job of raising him, I do mean that. Maybe next time I see you I can learn a little bit about you. You're a remarkable woman, and I want to see you again. If you'll let me?"

"Okay. You can take me and Henry sailing Tuesday  after he gets out of school." She smiled. "If you're not working."

"I'll check my schedule and will let you know.  Mind if I?" He asked pointing at her phone.  She shook her head,  handing it to him. "I'll just save it under my name and shoot myself a quick text. And there. Now I have your number and you have mine. I'll give you a call as soon as I know something." He handed her her phone back. "Emma. I'd...nevermind." He started.

Emma looked at him, "what is it?"

He looked into her eyes, and they spoke one word. Lust. She had recognizes those eyes. Every client, and Henry's father had displayed those very eyes. Only not so beautifully lustful. He leaned to her, grabbing her face in his hands. His lips meeting hers in the most controlled way. He was hungry for her, but he was holding himself back. His tongue reaching her lips,  begging to be let in.  She closed her eyes, parting her lips,  their tongues becoming entangled in what seemed like a dance. He wasn't sporadic,  he was smooth.  Her right hand trailed to the back of his neck, while her left trailed up his chest. He was breathing heavy, but his kiss was steady . Her body began to burn, her core aching.

And then he just stopped. He broke their kiss. 

"Goodnight, Emma. I'll see you Tuesday." He gave her another light kiss.

"Fuck." She mumbled.

"Sorry love, maybe another time . As much as I'd love to have your alluringly, bare body to ravish, I can't do that here.  Not with how I want to completely satisfy you. I'll see you soon, love. Now go, Henry is waiting " He kissed her hand.

"You sure are, how do you say it? Cheeky." She grinned. "See you soon." She slid out of his car not trying to smile so much. She walked into their apartment frivolously. She checked her phone to see his name. Only it wasn't his name. Killian Jones was logged in her phone as McDreamy. 

 _What a goof._ She laughed.

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? Let me know! Thanks everyone! :)


	4. Chapter 4

Emma was awake earlier than usual. She didn't want to admit how excited she was to be moving. She really didn't want Henry growing up on this side of town. At least now he might actually bring friends over. She pulled out her phone to call August. If she were to pack, she'd need boxes.

"August? Hey, I'm going to need a lift to get some boxes. You free?" She was cheerful, and her voice made it obvious. 

"Someone's in a good mood. Yeah, I'll be over in about ten minutes. Let me get dressed." He chimed. "I look forward to seeing the smile that is most certainly on your face. See you soon."

She decided it best to wake Henry. She didn't like leaving him home alone, not around here anyways.

"Hey Henry,  can you get up for me? August is going to take us to get some moving boxes and packing tape." Henry groaned and mumbled something incoherent before raising his head. "Alright, well he's going to be here in about ten minutes. So you have that long to get moving."

Henry looked up and chuckled.  "You're not wearing _that_ out are you?" He asked eyeing her pajamas.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?  I _am_ wearing this out. I'm going to need something loose and comfortable. This is perfect."

"Okay, whatever you say. Now can you shut my door please? Unlike you, some of us don't want to get out in our pajamas." He chuckled.

Emma laughed, shutting his door.

* * *

August pulled up to Emma running out.

"What's the rush?" He snickered.

"What's the rush?! The rush is getting the hell out of here! And I have you to thank big brother!" She hugged him adding a tight squeeze.

"You deserve better. You and Henry both." Emma gave him a soft look before climbing into his truck, Henry right behind her.

"So Henry, I forgot to mention. We are going sailing with Killian Tuesday.  After school of course." She leaned back in her seat,  glancing at August, who gave her a warming smile.

"We are?! That's awesome! Is that why you didn't want me in the car? To see if we could first?"

Emma cleared her throat, blushing, as August shot her a look.

"Partially,  not intentionally.  But he mentioned his boat, so I mentioned him taking us on the water. He loved the idea, so we will be climbing aboard Tuesday.  Hope you don't get sea sick. So August, what are you doing today? Care to help us pack? Or are you busy? "

He patted her leg, "oh Em, I'm never too busy to spend the day with you. A year away from you is far too long."

"Do you think I should invite Mary Margaret? I've been an awful friend. I'm feeling really guilty about it." She furrowed her brows.

"Only invite her if you want to, not out of some obligation that you owe it to her. I mean extra hands would be nice, but don't invite her if you are only doing it to feel better." August always gave sound advice. Emma calls him her conscience. Even though he wasn't blood,  he was the closest thing to family she ever had.

"Thanks August. I think I'll call her. I work tomorrow and will be busy Tuesday,  so I won't have much time to see her if I don't. " She pulled out her phone and texted Mary Margaret. 

_Emma: hey are you free today?_

Mary Margaret was quick to reply.

_MM: yes, what do you have in mind?_

_Emma: I need help moving._

_MM: moving? Where?_

_Emma: well I'm technically packing, but Henry and I are moving in with August. He has a four bedroom all to himself._

_MM: oh Emma! That's wonderful! I'd love to help. What time?_

_Emma: well we are getting boxes and tape right now. Meet at our house around 11?_

_MM: sound great!  I'll see you soon._

"Okay she's going to meet us at the apartment at eleven. So let's hurry and get those boxes."

* * *

Emma plugged up her phone to the speakers. 

"A little music to help keep us moving?" She giggled. "Henry pack your room, August you can start on the living room,  Mary Margaret you can start on the kitchen,  I'll work on my room." Her playlist of The Beatles started playing as she made her way to her room. 

 _We are really doing this,_ she thought as she was going through everything.  She wanted to text Killian,  let him know.  She didn't know why she did.  Well she did,  but she didn't want to admit it. 

 

It was three o'clock and Emma decided it was definitely time for some lunch. 

"August, run me to Granny's?"

"Only if you let me pay. " He grinned.  She let out a sigh. 

"Fine. Mary Margaret,  would you rather have chicken,  cheeseburger,  or grilled cheese? "

"A cheeseburger is fine,  thanks." Emma nudged her head towards the door and August followed.  Emma grabbed her phone and shut the door.  She climbed in his truck and immediately unlocked her phone. 

_Nothing? Not one single message?_

She furrowed her brows and let out a sigh. 

"You okay Em? You look...is that disappointment or...hurt?" He squeezed her shoulder before backing out.

"Just confused I suppose. " She ran her hands through her pony tail and looked out the window. 

 

They pull up to Granny's. There was a cop car pulled out front. 

_Maybe it's just David._

She sighed and walked in,  the door bell releasing a loud chime. 

"Emma." His blue eyes sparked.  His blue uniform complimented his eyes well.

"Killian, hey." She became immediately embarrassed by her own attire. Her hair looked to have been fighting the pony tail holder, her tank top was a tad too short, as well as her shorts the word  _ **Sexy**_ across the backside.

"Bad day?" He chucked.  She looked at herself.

"No, moving. August has room for us so we are moving out of that dump." August pushed past.

"Grilled cheese for you and Henry?" He asked.

"Oh yeah, sorry. Don't forget onion rings."

"Wouldn't dream of it."

 _She's so relaxed around him. Is he her brother? Old flame?_ He was asking himself.

"So will I have to pick you and Henry up at  _his_ place?" He huffed.

"Am I sensing jealousy in your voice, Jones?" She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow.

"No, no Swan.  It was simply a question. Not jealous." He tried to play it off.

"Yeah you'll have to pick us up there. I'll be sure to text you the address."

"Will you need help with lifting or any more packing? I wouldn't mind stopping by. I get off in a couple hours I can bring pizza. And you can properly introduce me to him." He pointed at August.  "I didn't get a chance to talk to him yesterday. "

"His name is August. He's..."

"Ready Emma?" August asked, bag in hand.

"Yeah I'm ready. If you want to stop by you can. But if you do, don't show up empty handed." She smiled.  "See you later."

 

Killian approached the counter Ruby was wiping.

"Are you dating my best friend and I know nothing about it?!" She interrogated. 

"Not exactly. Can I get a coffee?"

"So she's moving in with August. Maybe now that he's back she'll hook me up with him. I'll bring your coffee right out."

_And I thought I was irresistible._

His brows furrowed as she returned with his cup.

"Alright there officer?"

"Huh? Yeah, sorry. Thanks." He just had to win her heart.  He couldn't let August steal his girl.

* * *

Six o'clock approached and Emma was trying to mask her excitement that Killian would be stopping by.  Mary Margaret kept stealing glances.  Seeing her friend bubbly made her incredibly happy. A knock at the door caused everyone to jump.  She opened the door to find Killian holding pizza boxes. 

"Surprise,  I come bearing gifts." He handed Emma the boxes and leaned in to give her a kiss on the cheek. his stubble rubbing her cheek.  He smelled amazing and his hair was still damp. 

"Glad you could make it.  We were just taking a break.  We've packed almost everything." She eyed the hair peeking from his v neck. 

"Well then,  I suppose we can all watch a flick and stuff ourselves with pizza." He gave her a wink.  She just rolled her eyes,  shutting the door as he entered. 

"Aye, mate. We didn't get a chance to be introduced last night.  I'm Killian.  Killian Jones. "

"August Booth." He said standing to shake Killian's hand. 

"So how long have you known Emma? " Killian asked coolly. 

August grinned,  looking at Emma who had left to the kitchen to grab plates. 

"Since I was six.  She was a newborn."

_So he has to know everything about Emma and her past._

"Wow, that's a long time. " He cleared his throat. 

"Yeah you can say that.  It's why I'm so protective over her.  Why I can't stand to see her trapped here. Working with nothing to show for it. "

"Why weren't you two living together before?" Killian asked.

"Alright everyone.  Dinner's on!  Got these two guys to thank. It's been a while since I had someone else buy my food. " Emma smiled. 

"Anything for you,  Em." August smiled. Killian frowned. 

_Seriously mate?!_

* * *

Emma was taking everyone's plates and headed to the kitchen.  She was running water over the plates when she felt a pair of hands grab her waist.  Her eyes snapped shut at the touch. 

"Need a hand, love?" He whispered low in her ear. 

"Mmm" She said,  leaning her head into his chest. "You really have to stop doing that, Jones. " She tilted her head to look at him. 

"Being a gentleman?  Sorry love." He said before crashing his lips into hers. She let out a moan as his tongue forced it's way to hers. His hand trailing up her stomach gently cupping her breast, before finding it's way to her neck. He broke the contact to replace her mouth with her neck. He turned her to face him,  pressing her into the sink.  He was being way less controlled than the night before. Not able to get enough of her.  He cupped her ass, propping her on the counter before resting his face in her chest,  nipping at her breast through her shirt.

"Oh God,  Killian." She gasped,  "stop. Everyone is in the next room.  If Henry..." she said between breaths.  He stopped. 

"Aye, you're right love.  You're just so  bloody gorgeous. I just needed a taste." He licked his lips. She noticed a slight erection trying to escape his sweats.

"Just a taste huh?" She smirked. His face turned red.

"Uh let me rinse these while you go back. Give me a chance to level my _head_." He joked.

"Good idea. August hasn't been too protective has he?" She asked before leaving the kitchen.

"I don't know how you mean love."

"Okay good. He tends to come off intimidating. I'd hope he was being easier on you, considering."

"Considering what?" He leaned back on the sink.

"Considering you're taking Henry and me out Tuesday. Also since I'm working tomorrow, will you come by when you can and help August load some of my stuff? I don't know how much he'll have done by the time you get off, but he can use the help." She said rubbing the hair that was visible on his chest.

"Sure, anything for you." He sighed . She leaned up to give him one more kiss.

"Emma? I think I'm going to head home. David is expecting me. I'm so glad I got to spend the day with you." Mary Margaret  held out her arms to hug Emma.

"Me too! Sorry I kept you working most of the time."

"No problem. I enjoyed it. And you have August thrilled. This is good Emma. Killian, nice to see you again." She grinned at him, his ears turning red at the mention of August. "Henry and August are already planning a lot of late nights."

Emma rolled her eyes, "we'll see about that."

"Excuse me ladies, I need to head out myself.  Work in the morning. See you tomorrow, Swan."

"Alright, goodnight. " Emma tried to say but he was already at the door. "Weird,  he was just fine before you came to say goodbye. "

"Maybe he's shy?" Mary Margaret giggled. 

"I'm wondering if August had gotten to him.  We know how he can get."

Mary Margaret's mouth opened,  she slapped her hands over her lips.

"What is it? " Emma asked concerned. 

"Or...he's jealous of August. Does he know August is your brother?  I mean you're moving in with him, he bought lunch.  All that could be intimidating if he doesn't know."

"Oh God,  you're right! Poor Killian. I should have known not to assume he knew. I thought everyone knew." She sighed,  "I better text him.  He's cute jealous though, isn't he?" She giggled.

"He is!" Mary Margaret agreed. Emma pulled her phone out to text him.

_Emma: Killian?_

_Killian: yes, Swan?_

_Emma: can I ask you a question,  and you be honest with me?_

_Killian: what is it?_

_Emma: are you jealous of August?_

There was a long pause.

_Emma: Killian? Please?_

_Killian: what do you want from me Swan?_

_Emma: you to trust me enough to say what has got you bothered.  Are you jealous of August?_

_Killian: more intimidated.  He's known you as long as you've been alive.  He knows things._

_Emma: he's my brother, Killian.  Of course he knows things._

_Killian: oh bloody hell. Do I feel stupid._

_Emma: it's okay Jones,  Henry's dad was intimidated and jealous too._

_Killian: will you be this open with me tomorrow, swan?_

_Emma: we'll see. Goodnight Jones._

_Killian: goodnight, Swan._

_He was going to make sure to learn at least the part of her past that involved Henry's father. He needed to know why she was so secretive._

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Jealous Killian is cute Killian. He's not done being jealous though ;)


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took 5ish days to get this posted! Been in a bit of a funk and having to be a mom! I will try not to keep anyone waiting this long for chapter 6! Thank you everyone for reading. I love the feedback!

Emma had difficulty sleeping that night.  Partly due to the fear of letting Killian in,  and partly due to how it felt kissing him. How his touch felt.  She was shocked to wake up,  not having remembered falling asleep. 

_Work_

She sulked out of bed and headed for the shower.  She had to convince herself not to text him while getting ready for work. She wouldn't have Ruby at the diner to keep her company until eleven. Five hours in her own mind.  She arrived at the diner a few minutes early.  Deciding to let moving occupy her mind.  And it surprisingly worked well.  And Ruby arrived right on time.

"Ruby! When we get a minute I have to tell you about something. " Emma said, rushing past her with arms full of food. The lunch crowd was coming in and they'd be busy for a couple hours. Ruby couldn't help but give her desperate glances. Ruby hated not knowing everything. As the lunch crowd started slowing, Ruby started gravitating towards Emma. Knowing she had Ruby hooked helped take her mind off Killian.

"Alright,  spill!" Ruby said when she finally caught Emma in the back. Emma grinned. 

"Well you know how August has come home?" She waited for Ruby's 'mmhmm' before continuing. "Well he knows I've been struggling to get by.  You'll be happy to know Henry and I are going to be moving in with him. We packed yesterday and August is working on moving everything today.  So I won't have to escort.  August doesn't know,  I don't want him to know. But I am taking one more client. " Ruby tried to cut her off. "Don't worry.  It's not one of those clients.  This is an old guy who just hires pretty blondes to hang on his arms for some rich party,  or something like that. I'm actually going to see if Killian can attend,  just to keep me and you at ease."

"Killian? Who is Killian?" Ruby grabbed Emma's shoulders and shook her. 

"The cop. The one that brought Henry home. We aren't seeing each other technically, but we did...kiss." She cringed waiting Ruby's explosion.

"Oh my God! Emma! Why am I just hearing about this?!"

"Anyways." Emma stated, changing the subject. "You feel like helping me get moved in?"

"Yes, but back to officer blue eyes! I can't believe you kept this from me!  I'm supposed to be your best friend. " Ruby feigned hurt. 

"Oh chill,  it just happened.  Last night. " Ruby gave her the look that says  _you're holding out on me._

"A kiss is all that happened? You sure about that? "

"Yes mother!  Henry and August were there, as was Mary Margaret. So yes, I'm sure that's all that happened.  Better get back out there. Don't want Granny's blood pressure raising."

The rest of her work day went by with Ruby burning a hole in her head.

"Alright Ruby I'll see you after you get off. If I'm not at my house, check August's place. See you then." She blew Ruby a kiss, chuckled, and left the diner. She tried to not be nervous about seeing Killian again. 

_He may not even show up, he never said if he would or wouldn't._

She half jogged back to her apartment complex.  When she reached it, she saw the moving van.  Along with August and Killian loading her furniture. Neither had on a shirt, and Killian was sporting basketball shorts.  Every muscle tense and visible as they lifted the sofa into the van. As she got closer she noticed he had beads of sweat trailing down his back. 

"Working hard or hardly working?" She teased. 

"Love, I can't stress how much I hate you having lived so far from the lot." He gave her a devilish grin. 

"That would make it too easy.  Let me go change and I'll be able to help more."

_Don't look at his perfect body! Don't look at the wet curls on his chest! Don't notice you can see his package when he moves a certain way. Stop it Emma!_

"See something you like, love?" He asked flexing his pectoral muscles. Her eyes fell, watching them.

"Just don't break anything. "

* * *

She headed inside to find Henry moving boxes so they'd have easier access.

"Look at you. Growing up and growing muscle."

"Mom, dont." Henry laughed.

"Let me get changed and I'll help out more.  Are you thrilled or what? " He didn't have to answer. She came out of her room in her typical jogging gear. August came back inside as Emma emerged from the bedroom.

"So the van is for stuff you won't need at my house. Furniture, dishes, things I have.  Don't worry about the unit. I've paid for six months in advanced.  And no, I don't want nor will I accept you to pay me back. Your boyfriend has been a great help by the way."

"Not my boyfriend. I appreciate everything August. You have no idea. Let me know what I can do to help." She gave his arm a squeeze. 

"Well, what Henry keeps bringing in here, you can start loading into the bed of my truck." Killian came inside and sat on a barstool.

"You guys want to break for a beer?" She asked. "Or a towel to wipe the insane amount of sweat you have going on?"

"Aye, I'll take a beer. Could use a quick break."

_The way his body tightens with each breath.  Hold it together, Emma._

"Alright.  By the way,  the fridge isn't mine.  So don't pack that." She pulled three beers out of the fridge. "My friend Ruby is going to stop by this evening too."

"Oh God, Em. No, tell me you didn't invite her? Last time I was around her she was trying to get in my pants."

"And she's going to keep at it.  But she is my best friend so get used to seeing her. We tend to spend quite a bit of time together."

"Oh Swan, I'm jealous." Killian joked, taking a long swig.  She watched as his throat bobbed as he swallowed.  He caught her staring and raised a brow at her. "What no remark to that?"

"Huh? Sorry, long day." Her phone buzzed. It was Ruby. 

_Ruby: hey just letting you know Granny is letting me go an hour early so I'll be there in like thirty minutes. I told her you needed help moving. Didn't mention August was helping.  Just giving you a heads up._

_Emma: oh awesome.  See you soon!  Xoxo_

"That was Ruby. She's going to be here in thirty minutes. So let's finish these drinks and get to work."

"Yes boss." August joked, putting his hand to his forehead.  Emma threw a dish towel at him. 

* * *

It was six thirty when  Ruby showed up.

"Hey bitch! Let's get this moving party starte-hold up! " Ruby froze noticing Killian. "You didn't tell me officer blue was here."

"Officer blue love? How sweet of you. Giving me a pet name and all." Killian smirked.

"Yeah,  needed added muscle to help lift the furniture." She looked at Killian,  noticing he was still only in shorts and shoes. She wouldn't admit how many times she watched his package in movement. "His name is Killian.  Killian this is Ruby.  I know you've both already met, but not properly. So there, now you are." She let them shake hands before pulling Ruby into her room. "Help me get all my stuff in August's truck.  I've already told my landlady tonight would be my last night." Ruby laughed and shook her head.

"I hope you won't make him wait too long. The yearning looks makes him look desperate for a release." Emma just rolled her eyes.

"I'll have you know I'm wanting that.  I want him go crave me until it drives him absolutely nuts. Where he would be fine taking me anywhere." Emma shot her a look.

"Oh you little nymph!  I'm proud to know I'm rubbing off on you." Ruby winked at her before picking up a box and heading out of the bedroom. Emma blushed realizing she didn't plan on telling Ruby that. She grabbed a box and headed out of her room nearly crashing into Killian.

"Careful there love."

"What are you doing Jones?"

He rubbed the back of his ear and pointed behind her. "Bathroom. Still not stalking you. Unless you want me to stalk you." He chuckled.

"Please dont, just hurry up I need everything moved tonight. You and August still need to get my bed.  I've already stripped it.  Just let me and Ruby get all the boxes out first. " He nodded and shuffled past her, giving her side and hip a light stroke. She was immediately on fire, goosebumps on her arms.

_Focus, this is not the time._

* * *

It was eight when they were loading the last few boxes.  They hadn't unpacked anything yet, but had the beds set up. It was Ruby who spoke up.

"So we've worked an hour and a half,  I'm hungry.  Beer and wings at the rabbit hole?"

"Sure,  boys put some shirts on.  If you don't mind though, I'm going to shower. Ruby if you want to shower there's a second bathroom in August's room.  I'm sure he wouldn't mind, would you?" She looked over at August. 

"Um no I don't mind.  Just hurry,  I'd lIke to take a shower too."

"Oh August. I don't mind,  you're free to join me." Ruby winked. 

"Come on Ruby,  I'll find something you can wear."

"So Killian, I won't tell if you won't." August said, pulling his arms behind his head. 

"What's that? "

"After Emma jumps in the shower,  there's no way in hell I'm not taking Ruby up on her offer.  I'd rather Emma not know.  Maybe you can distract her? "

"Are you asking me to fuck Emma,  your sister.  So that you can fuck Ruby,  mate?"

"No, I said distract. Just stall. No sex, I'll have to kill you. Henry is busy in his room, and I'm needing a release. Please?" August was grinning.

"Bloody hell." Killian mumbled. "No promises that I'll be able to keep her distracted." Emma and Ruby emerged.

"Alright, shouldn't take more than twenty til we are done. Then the shower is all yours." Emma was waiting for August to show Ruby to the master bathroom. "Are you okay without a shower?  I know you sweat a good bit. " She said to Killian. 

"Inviting me for a shower, Swan?" She rolled her eyes.

"Won't be too long. " She turned and went into the bathroom.  He waited until he heard the shower start before knocking on the door. She opened in just a towel,  but her bra straps were visible. 

_Good she isn't totally naked._

"You need something?" She only looked slightly annoyed. He tried to think of any excuse, but was coming up empty. She raised her brow at his silence.  "I'll be out in just a bit, whatever it is will be fine for a few minutes. " She tried closing the door, but his hand caught it. "What the hell?" He grabbed her face and crashed his lips into hers.

"God's you've looked bloody amazing all day." He said between breaths. She shut the bathroom door in case Henry came out of his room. He pushed her into the door removing her towel.  She wrapped one leg around his waist, his member twitching at the closeness. He wanted to ravish her right in the bathroom, but the words of August were running through his mind. 

_Distraction only,  Jones_

She moaned as he ground his hips into her.  She stroked his chest and toyed with his waistband before creeping into his shorts.  He came full length at her grasp,  letting out a growl. He could feel her smiling.

"You torture a man,  Emma. " He stated kissing her neck and sucking her pulse point. "You haven't much time though.  I'll let you take a shower,  I just wanted to kiss you again." He set her down,  she was trying to hide her disappointment. 

"You can at least shower with me if you want. Nothing more to it.  If that's what you want." She said, a blush forming on her cheeks. 

"I'd like nothing more,  but I don't think I could control myself if I had you naked and wet." He chuckled. 

"Please?  I could use someone to wash my back. I won't try to seduce you.  Besides,  you could use a shower. " She winked. 

"Fine,  if the lady wishes." She removed her bra and panties and climbed into the shower. He swallowed and removed his shorts and shoes. He climbed in after her. "Been a while since I joined a woman for a shower." He said coolly. 

"I can say the same,  aside from the woman part." She joked. 

"So you never showered with a client?" She gave him a look,  and he felt the air get colder. 

"Excuse me? "

"Oh God's love,  I'm sorry.  I wasn't meaning it like that.  Jefferson mentioned it.  I just wasn't..." He couldn't finish.  His eyes dropped,  and he felt himself going flaccid.  She must have noticed,  because she turned away from him again. 

"No I never showered with clients,  too intimate." She handed him her sponge. He slowly worked the soap into her back, his dick twitching.  He kissed her softly on her shoulder and worked up to her neck. She leaned into him, feeling his hard length on her ass. He ran his hands down her arms until he reached her hips. He caressed her mound before slowly reaching her sensitive bud. He gently rubbed her clit, causing her to buck at his hand.

"Easy love." He whispered in her ear, before taking her lobe into his mouth. He slid his middle finger in her folds, feeling her slippery fluids. "Mmm so wet, love. All for me?" She began to respond, but he slipped his finger inside. All she could do was let out a moan before turning her head to meet his gaze. His eyes were seductive,  but warm and sweet. She met him with a kiss as he slowly worked his fingers, pumping in and out of her. She was gasping as he finger fucked her, adding extra pressure at her spongy tissue.  A knock at the door caused him to shoot out and off of her hitting the wall.

"Almost done?" Ruby called through the door.

"Yeah give me a minute." Emma panted. "Alright we have to clean." She giggled.  He gave her a soft kiss before grabbing the soap. 

"Aye, I suppose we should.  Your friends have a way with timing." He joked.

"You have no idea."

* * *

They arrived at the hole at nine. 

"We can't be too long.  It's Henry's bedtime at ten. " She said tapping Henry on the shoulder.

"Really mom?  Can't I get a break for one night? " Henry moped.

"No, especially not after moving.  Your mind will take a while to settle down. Plus we are sailing tomorrow so you need to keep your energy up."

"Sailing? " Ruby asked. 

"Killian is taking us." She shot him a smile. 

"I hate you for not keeping me updated." They found a table and placed their order. 

"Sorry,  just been crazy busy."

"Mhm,  lie to someone else.  You were just talking about him this afternoon.  Could have mentioned sailing." Emma's cheeks turned red. She could feel Killian's eyes on her. "That's okay I guess.  We all have secrets." She said,  quickly glancing at August. 

They laughed and joked at dinner.

"This was awesome guys.  I mean it,  but it's getting late.  We should head back." It was after ten. August called for the ticket, demanding he pay the entire bill.

"Well Swan, let me walk you to the car?" She smiled giving Ruby and August the  _Stall and take your time_ look.

"Alright,  I'd like that."

They stepped outside and Emma started getting butterflies.

"This was great.  I'm glad you came by to help today. It means a lot." She was stammering. 

"If I didn't know any better,  I'd say you are nervous.  Rub your wrist much harder,  and you'll be bleeding." He smirked.  "And it was my pleasure.  I can't wait to see you tomorrow. I'll arrive about four then." She was glad it was dark, so he couldn't see how red her face was. "Well love, I'll be off. Be warned, I expect to learn more about you tomorrow." He leaned down and gave her a simple,  but passionate kiss. 

_Damn him for making me jittery_

"Goodnight,  love.  I'll head off before Ruby comes out and makes things awkward." He stroked her cheek then headed for his car

_A really good night_

 

 

 

 


	6. Chapter 6

Emma jolted awake,  suddenly immensely aware that they would be sailing today.  She sat up in bed,  taking in the room around her.

_Right,  we moved last night._

She looked at her alarm clock to see she was up an hour earlier than it was set. She rubbed her eyes and slipped a pair of pajama pants on.  She took note of the smell of coffee and bacon wafting from beyond her bedroom door. She quietly slipped from her room,  wanting to enjoy the sight of her brother being her savior once again.

"Smells incredible.  I forget your quite the early bird." She said,  running her hands through her hair,  trying to comb through rats. 

"And I remember you're not,  usually. You're off today,  why are you up so early?" He leaned into the counter,  resting his head in his hands, smiling innocently. 

She mocked his stance. "I don't know what made me wake so early.  I mean it's a good thing though. I need to start unpacking my room.  I'll start on Henry's once I'm done with mine. I wonder how well he slept,  I feel like I did but didn't."

"Well it's about time for him to get up,  if you want I'll see him off to school.  I'll even drive him." She grabbed his hand and squeezed. 

"Thank you.  I'll be in my room. The faster I unpack the faster I can feel settled in.  Maybe I'll sleep better tonight."

"I'll make you some coffee and bring it to you.  Still like it the same?"

She huffed, "haven't I always?" She gave him a warm smile and settled back in her room. She pulled one box off the floor, placing it on her bed with a sigh.  Unpacking was not her favorite activity. She began pulling things from the box. Memories she pushed to the back of her mind and life.  Things she couldn't let anyone else see.  Sure August had seen the contents, some of which he tried to convince her to get rid of.  She couldn't bring herself to do it. A soft tap at the door snapped her back to the present.

"Come in."

August opened the door to see Emma looked disconcerted, while holding a vanilla folder. "Emma are you okay?" His eyes darted about the room,  settling on the things she had scattered on the bed. "Emma?" She looked at him, feeling completely powerless.  His voice softened, setting the coffee on the table,  he cradled her. "You really need to put this stuff somewhere else,  Em. Every time you see it,  it's as if we are back to that day,  living that time period. You're face,  Em, it breaks my heart to see it like that. You're okay,  you're safe. I'm going to be right here,  I promise." He caressed her hair,  lightly kissing her head. "Look let's put this stuff back in the box and store it in the back of the closet.  What do you say?" He hated seeing her so upset,  she was the tough one of the two. He was older,  but she always portrayed the older sibling. She pulled away from his embrace declaring he was right.  She nodded and began grabbing the contents. The room was painfully quiet while they worked.  August cleared his throat.

"So sailing,  huh?" He gave her a playful nudge. She gave him her faintest smile. 

"Yeah, I've really been looking forward to it. Henry is excited." Talking about Henry always lightened her.  A more natural smile curved her face,  one that didn't appear so broken and hurt.

"What time?  After school I know,  but when?  Should I feed you before you leave?" She crinkled her brows. 

"I don't know honestly. I guess I can ask him."

"You do that, sip on your coffee, I'll be in the living room if you need anything." He grabbed her hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. She could only nod, she wasn't sure she was pulled together enough to talk to Killian.  She sighed and grabbed her phone off the nightstand. She decided to text him instead of calling.

_Here goes nothing._

_E: Good morning_

_K: Good morning love, did you sleep well?_

_E: I don't really know. I wanted to ask you something._

_E: Do I need to eat before you pick us up?_

_K: If you want a light snack, sure. Though I do have a meal planned for dinner._

_E: I was just asking because August wondered._

_K: You don't have to explain yourself love. I'll see you at four_

She put her phone back on the bedside table and let out a long breath.  She grabbed the box and crammed it into the back of the bottom of her closet and closed the door. History she wasn't sure she would ever be ready to tell Killian. She decided to keep unpacking as if the box didn't rattle her.

* * *

It was almost one when she finished Henry's room. She emerged from his room and headed to the kitchen for a drink. August heard her shuffling and turned to face her.

"Hey Em, wasn't sure if I'd see you before your sailing trip. You need to eat something. You skipped breakfast and I  noticed you never touched your coffee. If you don't eat you can't recharge." He rest his arms on the back of the couch,  resting his chin on his forearm. 

"Calm down, don't go all big brother on me. You know I will shut you down. You and everyone else. I was just trying to get everything done before we meet Killian, one less thing for me to have to do. I'm not purposely avoiding food.  I seem to remember you saying you'd feed me. " She said lightly,  trying to keep him off her back. 

He pulled himself up off the couch and joined her in the kitchen. "What would you like to eat?  You know I'll cook anything."

She scoped his fridge and cabinets,  strumming her fingers along the wood. 

"Hmm do you remember that meal they feed us at the home when I was six?"

He blinked at her for a minute,  tapping his fingers together.  "Are you talking about that goulash?"

"Yeah, yeah, yeah! I'd like that." His face was smiling but he was concerned. She always avoided any mention of the group homes no matter the cost. 

_She must still be triggered from the box._

"Coming right up. I should have all the supplies." He watched her, expecting to see her let her guard down. She never did.

_What is her deal?_

"Uh, Emma?" He asked, scratching the back of his head.

"Yeah?" She was looking at him with a smile on her face.

"Is there a reason you wanted  _this_ particular meal? You've never been one to bring up anything from the group home. Just want to make sure you're okay." She wrinkled her brows, exposing her very clear frustration peeking through. 

"August I'm fine. I won't say it again. Please don't ruin my day. If you don't want to make it then don't.  No one is stopping you." She snapped her head back at the T.V, signifying the end of the discussion. He let out a long sigh and began browning the meat. There was no way she would let him even begin a conversation now so he decided to plug his headphones in while cooking. When the meal was finished he pocketed the ear buds and prepared her a plate. He eased over to her, hoping she would just speak to him.

"Oh man, it smells just like I remember. Do you remember how much we loved this meal?" She looked like a child, returning to that day she was first given goulash. 

"Yeah I remember." He grinned sheepishly, plopping down beside her. If she wasn't going to open up to him, the least he could do was listen to what she  _would_ talk about.

"I used to wish they'd make it more than twice a month, but only a few of the other kids actually liked it. There was nothing special about it,  but it was still the best meal ever." Her voice was starting to shake. He was trying to understand the importance of the story,  and why if it was a good one, why it was causing her to be upset.

"Hey you don't want to meet Killian all puffy faces now do you?" He joked, slightly serious. He was feeling like a jackass not knowing what was bothering her.

"August." She whispered, clearly only wanting acknowledgment. His lips for formed a line on his face, eyebrows lowered. "I don't want to talk-talk about it, but in a few weeks will be the day  I found out I was expecting Henry. I'm usually alone, it makes falling apart easier." Of course it finally clicked.

"Maybe today can mark today as a better reminder, huh? Going sailing, watching Henry light up, talking ninety to nothing, and Killian being there to make you happy. You deserve today to be the best day ever." She was blinking back tears while avoiding his gaze.

"I hope you're right big brother."

* * *

Henry arrived home from school at 3:30, giving Emma just thirty minutes to mentally prepare herself for their sailing,  _date?_ Emma was staring into her closet trying to figure out what to wear.  She knew being on the water made it cooler, but just how much cooler she was uncertain.  She settled on a plain white turtleneck sweater, black skinny jeans, and her favorite red jacket August had given her for her twenty-first birthday. She wanted to be warm, but attractive, though she did contemplate a hoodie and sweats. Henry was so excited he was jabbering up a storm, pacing around the living room.

_Maybe August is right?_

She sat playing with the ends of her sleeves when a knock echoed through the room. Emma jumped up, knot forming in the pit of her stomach. She opened the door to see Killian's eyes scanning her body before letting out a sigh.

"Beautiful as ever, love."

"Come on Henry, time to go." She called.

"This is so great. I'm so excited Mr. Jones! I can't thank you enough for taking us to your boat."

"Ship, she's a ship lad. A mighty vessel." He winked.

"Let me just grab my phone and we can head out." She disappeared into her room, pulling at the neck of her shirt. She decided to text Ruby as she made her way back to the door.

_E: Ruby? I'm freaking out._

She put on a fake smile, causing Killian to look over at August, who just shook his head in return.

"Let's go." She said, cupping Henry's shoulders.

* * *

They pulled into the harbour and Henry began exploding with new questions.

_Which one is it?_

_How fast can it travel?_

_Will you tell me what every part is called?_

_How long will we be on it?_

"Slow down lad, all in due time. Let's board her first."

"Her?" Henry chimed back, before realizing he'd asked another question. Emma's eyes hadn't left her phone, waiting on Ruby's response.

"Emma? Coming love?" He had her door open, waiting for her to step out of the car. 

"Yeah sorry, I was in my own little world."

"Care to take me there sometime?" He spoke softly. She hadn't even noticed how good he looked. He had on a black vest with a leather jacket, almost black jeans,  and some black boots. He looked stunning. Her phone buzzed in her hand, snapping her back to it.

"I don't think you'd like it there, Jones." She mumbled before looking at the text. 

_R: Uh oh? What's wrong? Isn't Killian taking you on the water today?_

_E: Yeah, but today is when I always request off so I can stay inside all day._

_R:  Oh shit, I'm so sorry I didn't remember. Try to push it to the back of your mind, if not for yourself for Killian. He's nice, Em._

"Let me be the judge of that." He said holding out his hand to help her out of the car.

"Maybe another time. Where's Henry?" Eyes darted around.

"I told him which ship it was and he decided to race ahead. I figured it'd give him time to come up with a hundred new questions." He chuckled, causing Emma to give a genuine smile.

"You know, you're different than most cops. Aside from David of course, but even then I don't know what it is."

They approached the ship to find Henry's face smiling bigger than it ever has.

"Wow, it's huge." She gasped.

"Care to come aboard?" He whispered in her ear. "You seem vexed, Swan. I won't probe, but I would like to know what's troubling you." His voice still a whisper in her ear.

"I'd like to go sailing." She ignored the last part. He helped them board the ship before having Henry  "help" him set it off. Emma watched as they interacted, Killian showing  Henry everything along with the terminology. Henry was jotting everything down in a notebook he'd brought, as though it were a field trip he'd be quizzed on. It made her heart swell how naturally Killian took to Henry. 

_Had he been a father?_

She wanted to ask him, but knew it would cause him to inquire about her past. She leaned against the railing,  closing her eyes, breathing in the salty air.

_Today can be a good day if you let it._

She felt a hand grab her waist,  her eyes shot open, her body tightened.

"Easy love,  just me.  Henry is being a helmsman. I don't know if you heard, but her name is the Jolly Roger. Emma do you _want_ to be here?  You're distant and I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do." She sighed, relaxing her muscles under his grip, and faced him.

"Nothing, you do nothing . Please just be patient with me."

"Henry says you're like this every year. Just so you know, whatever it is, he blames himself for it. I refuse to believe it.  I'll be patient,  but he needs to know it's not his fault." She glanced at Henry, he looked so happy, such a natural at the helm.

"I have tried telling him.  It's complicated. There's a reason I don't dive into relationships,  Jones. My package is too big."

"Is that why being an escort is so easy for you then? Because you can pretend like none of your past matters? Like you don't matter? Try something new darling,  it's called trust."

Her gaze was cold. "Do you have a son Killian? Is that why it's so easy for you to care and bond with Henry?" Her questioned was calloused. He dropped his hand from her waist, and quietly returned to Henry. She didn't expect it to bother her so much, but not knowing felt worse than knowing.

_Well you won't tell him anything about you so why should he tell you anything?_

She scowled at herself and reluctantly pulled out her phone to text Ruby.

_E: I'm fucking everything up  Rube! I'm not able to control myself. I'm being a bitch and can't help it. I just want to be back in my room away from everyone._

She sighed, she needed a drink, a stiff drink. She looked up at the helm to notice Henry was laughing at something Killian had said. She walked up to join them.

"Got anything to drink?" She asked bluntly.

"Aye, below deck. I'll fetch it. You good Henry?"

"Oh yeah, I'm great! This is the best day ever!" He piped back. Killian brushed past Emma and headed for the cabin door.

"Captains quarters. I keep it stocked with Rum, but thought you'd want a drink,  so I brought some scotch to go with it.  And soda for the boy of course." He was more nervous than usual.

_Does he expect me to ask about him having a son again?_

He pulled out two glasses and began filling them, putting rum in what she assumed would be his glass.  He handed her the glass of scotch and cleared his throat. He raised his glass, "to patience." He winked at her.

"I'm really sorry I've been an awful guest.  If I knew the date, I would have mentioned any other day. What have you planned for dinner?" He smiled at her slight confession. 

"Well let's head back up.  I believe we've almost reached our destination." Once on deck he lowered a net attached to the side of the ship.

"You lot don't have a fish allergy do you?" Emma shook her head.  "Good then dinner shall proceed as expected." Emma's interest peaked and she wasn't subtle about her excitement.  She sipped on her scotch watching Killian lower the net. "Now we wait a little while." He sat on a step and began drinking his rum.

"So Mr. Jones have you always had this ship?"

"Aye, I bought it while I was still living in England.  It was something my brother and I put together. We used to sail all the time."

"Was your brother ever married?" Emma's question stunned him for a moment.

"Aye, his wife and children are still in England. I visit when I can."

"Can you bring us sailing again Mr. Jones?"

"Please Henry, just call me Killian. And you're free to sail with me whenever able. It's been nice not having to sail by meself." He smiled, but his eyes were sad. "Liam and I discussed sailing to the US once."

"Can it really sail that far?" Henry's voice rose. Killian released a chuckle.

"Aye lad, it's what she was built for. With plenty of food, it's definitely possible." Emma noted how his eyes sparkled as he spoke.

"Did your wife and Liam's never sail with you?" Emma immediately felt contrite.

"No, Tink had a job in the city and Milah wasn't big on boats in general. She never had sea legs." He let out a sorrowful chuckle.

 _How can two broken people ever believe they could fix the other?_ Emma thought.

"Shall we check the nets? Emma would you mind refilling me glass while I pull up the nets?" She gave him a worried look before grabbing his glass, she wondered if that's how she looked to other people.

She returned on deck to Killian's wicked laugh. She could see Henry's joy at the catch.

"I guess I can count that as a success?" She asked approaching the net, handing Killian thr glass.  He lifted a lobster out of the net by the tail.

"A beautiful success.  Caught four of them. Let's head back to the harbour so I can cook these." He dropped the lobster and took the glass, tossing it back in one solid drink.  He grabbed a bucket  and tossed the lobsters inside before tying the net back up. He stepped back up to the helm and showed Henry how to turn around. The way back to the harbour was silent on her end so she pulled out her phone,  remembering she had texted Ruby.

_R: Emma you need to calm down. Get a drink and try to relax._

She looked up at Henry and Killian, noticing Killian's hardened expression.

_E: Even when I'm relaxed I'm setting him off. This is why Henry and I are better off on our own.  He's damaged and I upset him somehow,  and now he won't even look at me. I'm not sure even opening my mouth is safe at this point! At least Henry is enjoying himself._

They arrived at the harbour and Killian secured the ship before helping them off.

"So are we going to see your place?" Henry asked,  his excitement growing. 

"Aye. " Killian chuckled. "It's nothing fancy, though I do have a dog."

They arrived at Killian's house at six.  He pulled the lobsters from the back seat and headed for the door,  a loud bark coming from behind the wood. He unlocked the door and let them inside. A chocolate lab waited, tail wagging.

"Be a good boy.  This is Mr. Smee, Mr. Smee this is Emma and Henry.  Make yourselves at home,  I'll start cooking these." He lifted the bucket, heading into the kitchen without amother word. Henry dropped to the floor to pet the excited dog. Emma looked around the room before stepping forward.  She couldn't help but look for photographs. All she could could find were those of two children, likely his niece and nephew he had mentioned. She noticed a door with a helm painted on it. She looked at the kitchen before creeping down the hall.

_If he loves sailing he should have **something** here._

She quietly opened the door and stepped inside. There was a desk with books scattered about, several empty rum bottles discarded loosely about the floor,  and photographs.  A photo of two men,  a young Killian,  one arm wrapped loosely around the other man's arm. Liam.  Another photo displayed the same aged Killian only he was wrapping his body around a woman, their eyes locked, smiling as if they were the only two people on the planet. Milah. She was beautiful, and he was happy, carefree. Her eyes began to water, she tried forcing the tears back.

"What are you doing in here?" His voice was cold. She swore she felt herself jump out of her own skin.

"Oh my God, Killian. You scared me!" She chuckled before catching his gaze.  He was far from humored. 

"Swan, what are you doing in here?" Her smile dropped.

"You said to make myself at home so I was. I noticed the door and was curious. Is there a problem? Don't want me to see you're quite possibly an alcoholic?" She snapped back.

"Get out of here, don't try to make me out to be the bad guy Swan. You will lose."

"I'm not playing a game Jones. It may be a game to you, but it's not to me." She pushed past him. "And by the way." She turned to face him, "don't you dare speak to Henry the way you just spoke to me.  Or you can be sure I drop all contact with you."

"I wouldn't dare, Swan. But Henry also isn't the one being too nosy for his own good. "

"You're hiding something.  I'm not going to risk Henry's safety and comfort."

He grabbed her arm, "I've not lied to you Swan, why can't you see I'm not trying to hurt you?"

"Do you have a son, Killian?" Her voice stern. 

"Why are you so bloody frustrated?  What happened on this day Emma?  Can you answer me that? "

She closed her eyes as if she had been stung by his words.  "No, no I can't."

"Should I ask Henry? Or August, maybe Mary Margaret? I know nothing about you Swan, nothing at all. No I never had a son."

She pulled her arm from his grip and proceeded to join Henry.

"Mom can we get a dog?" He asked,  the dog laying on his lap.

"No, Henry we can't.  You know that."

_So much for a better day._

* * *

Killian made their plates.  Lobster,  potatoes,  carrots,  and broccoli. 

"This looks great Killian." Emma said softly. She ate in silence as Henry hounded Killian about sailing and England.  He was still often stealing glances at her. He never put on as though anything were wrong as he spoke with Henry. He was patient with him, maybe he really would be patient with her as well. Only she needed him to be extremely patient with her. She waited for him to take the dishes back to the kitchen before trying to talk to him. He was rinsing the plates when she clung to the frame of the entrance.

"Killian, I want to apologize. I shouldn't have explored your home. Not without your consent." He took a long breath.

"It's okay Emma, I overreacted. I just wish I could learn one thing about you." He dried his hands off, before strolling to her. He wrapped his hands around her hips. "Just one thing, love."

_It's just one thing._

"Well I was abandoned as a newborn. They didn't even have the decency to drop me off at the hospital. I was fostered out, but always brought back. I didn't know people returned babies, but I guess I was the acception. When I was six I was sent to a group home. August was there. He was the only one i recognized. He took me under his wing right away,  he was eleven. He ended up adopted and they let him write to me. I left the group home only a few times, but every time I came back August had wrote to me. I always had letters. I wrote him a final time, telling him I was running away and that I may need a place to stay.  At that time he was twenty-one and had his own place.  I moved around some, met some people. And well, I ended up at August's where we were together until a few months before he left to China. I had really bad anxiety for a while, so that's why I lived with him for so long."

Killian's eyes were focused on her words and the way her face changed with each part of her story. "Emma,  you amazing. Thank you for sharing they past of your life with me.  I mean it." He pulled her waist into him and wrapped his arms around her. She melted into him, her ear listening to his steady heartbeat. She felt him press a kiss into her hair. She squeezed his sides.

"It's getting late, and Henry has school in the morning. Mind giving us a ride?" He brushed her hair behind her ear.

"Let me grab my coat."

"Alright, Henry. Leave Mr. Smee alone. We're heading home,  get your shoes on." She called from the kitchen. 

* * *

They pulled up to August's house.

"Alright kiddo, go tell uncle August what all we did today, I need to talk to Killian." 

"Killian I want to start by saying sorry.  You planned an amazing day and I ruined the majority of it."

"Something was troubling you,  Emma.  I'm not going to hold it against you. I'll be here when you want to talk about it. I'll be as patient as I need to be." He grabbed her hand and raised it to his lips. She naturally closed to eyes at the contact. 

"Goodnight Killian,  remember what I said.  Just be patient.  I'll come around, it's just not easy for me. "

"I know you have walls. I've known since the moment I brought Henry home. I love a challenge." He gave her a smirk while raising his eyebrows.  She leaned across the seat and softly pressed her lips to his,  stroking the side of his jaw. He was the one to break contact.

"Would you go on a date with me, Emma Swan?"

"You have no idea how much I'd like that. When?"

He bit the inside of his cheek and thought. "Friday?"

"Friday I can do.  I cannot wait. See you then." She gave him a final kiss before getting out of the car. She waved to him and stepped inside.

 

 

 

 

 


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> TRIGGER WARNING!!!! You've been warned. It's not much but it is mentioned and will be mentioned in more detail later. This chapter is shorter than the last, but I wanted to give you guys something without making you wait too long! <3 hopefully it has enough drama this time ;)

Emma awoke with a start. She needed to see her best friend,  and they both opened on Wednesday's. It had almost been a week since she laid eyes on Killian, Henry wasn't getting into trouble, and she felt good. Good but terrified. August was true to his word and had been working on her car. He had told he he would drive her until the part came in, but she had refused. She didn't want to discuss how the sailing went, she just wanted her girlfriend. She was a couple blocks away when a car pulled up behind her,  lights flashing. She heard a chuckle over the intercom.

"Need a lift, love?" She rolled her eyes and approached his window.

"No thanks, I'm almost there anyways. I appreciate the offer though." He raised a brow at her refusal.

"Suit yourself, love.  I'm headed to the diner anyways for coffee and donuts for my partner and meself." He said, pleading for her to get in written on his face.

She let out an unconvincing sigh, and one quick glance before walking to the passenger seat.

"You have made my day, love." He gave her a wink and drove to the diner.

"I just hope you know it'll take a bit before the coffee is ready. We will literally just be opening when we get there. I should have already been there." She said, looking at her phone.  They pull up to the curb outside of the diner and are greeted by Ruby.

"Hey guys! Emma are you ready? "

"Ugh yes. Let's get everything up and ready. Killian, you can sit at the bar while you wait on the coffees." She ran her hand along his arm and headed to the kitchen. Ruby rushing behind her, barely able to contain herself. 

"You got a ride from him this morning?! Did you stay at his place? I thought you ruined the date?" Ruby was speaking so fast her questions were jumbling together.

"Ruby,  Ruby! Slow down." Emma laughed. "We managed to end the night on good terms. He saw me walking to work and offered to give me a lift. I tried to decline because I really needed to talk to you! I need him to get his coffee ASAP so we can talk before the morning crowd gets in." Ruby gave her a smile, one that always reminded her of a wolf. 

"I'll get right at it pretty lady." And with that,  Ruby was gone.  She was once again confined to her own thoughts. A scary place to be so early in the morning. As soon as Killian was out of the diner, Emma was on Ruby's hip.

"Wow!  You really do want to talk. Usually you avoid me when you have something juicy! " Ruby laughed.

"It's mostly just me freaking out, honestly. I told him about the foster home. I barely know him but I got caught snooping and felt like I owed him  _something_."

"Hold up, Em. You don't owe anyone anything. So you snooped, you were curious. I wouldn't recommend doing it  _again_ , but doesn't mean you owe him anything."

"His wife was gorgeous Rube, and total opposite of me. She had dark hair. And there were so many empty rum bottles. God, the emptiness in his face when he caught me. He was so cold and calloused,  he was actually scary."

"So are you more freaked he learned something about you or by what you saw?"

"Both? I don't get involved for this reason.  This is going to wind up messy.  I don't think I'll ever be able to tell him about Neal,  but I know I can't not tell him months in or anything.  I'm scared as hell,  and that's the truth. Neal ruined me,  ruined everything. "

"Well then,  you tell Killian if you start to get serious,  or just decide he needs to know about that part of your life.  I don't think he will see you any different though.  We better get everything started and be ready or our morning crowd won't be too happy with us." Ruby pulled on Emma's sleeve,  leading her back to the front.

* * *

Killian radioed David to see which road he was on. He had coffee and needed to speak with his friend.  He pulled up alongside David's cruiser in an empty,  rundown,  parking lot.

"Coffee,  just the way you like it." Killian stretched as far as he could,  handing David his cup. 

"What were you wanting to talk about?"

Killian scratched his ear and ran his hand through his hair.  "It's about Emma, mate."

"What did you do? " David groaned. 

"Nothing,  I was wondering if you could tell me anything about her.  Where she lived before she had Henry? Anything."

David shook his head. "Not a chance, no way. She'd kill me."

"C'mon mate, I won't mention it to her.  I swear. She told me about being in the foster system. I just want to know a little more. She knows so much about me. I feel like I'm dating a stranger." Killian had a pleading look in his eyes.

"You get me rung out and I'm killing you. All I will tell you is she was living in Boston. Back before she moved in with August. That's all I'm telling you."

"Really, mate? What about past lovers?"

"Nope, not going there. That's for her to disclose. I appreciate the coffee though." He smirked at Killian before rolling up his window and pulled away, leaving Killian sitting and stewing. He felt wrong, alien-like, but pulled his phone out and began typing  _Boston, NY Nov 20_ hoping to find anything on her. She was so closed off, he didn't feel he would learn anything otherwise. He thought back to Henry blaming himself so he decided to search  _Boston, NY Nov 20 2003_ , when that didn't work he typed  _2002_. He scrolled until he saw it. Color drained his face. He wanted to pretend he never found it. That it couldn't possibly be her. He rubbed his hands through the scruff on his face. How could he pretend he didn't know this? He decided to click the link to the article and read it over. His stomach churned.  It was Emma.

_Fuck, what did I just do?_

* * *

Emma couldn't wait until they could get a mini lunch break after the lunch crowd to talk more. She never got to tell Ruby that they had a date.  When the lunch crowd finally dispersed,  Emma pulled Ruby into a booth. 

"I forgot to tell you, Killian and I have a date Friday night." Ruby's pupils dilated.

"Really? That's great! Is August going to be watching Henry? Or will he be staying somewhere?  Being Friday and all."

Emma narrowed her eyes, "why are you so curious where Henry will be? Are you and Aug...oh God, Ruby!  He finally caved?!"

Ruby sat back, "whoa, Em. No, that's not why I asked. Yes, I came really close to sexing up August, but didn't go through with it. I was just genuinely curious."

Emma crossed her arms . "Came close, but didn't go through with it? I've never known you to not go through with sex. What stopped you?"

Ruby rolled her eyes, "you did." Emma scoffed.

"Ruby I don't mind if you sleep with August."

Ruby looked around, avoiding eye contact with Emma.

"Ruby? What is it?" She could tell Ruby hadn't been lying to her, but couldn't tell what she was hiding. 

"Nothing, I need to get back to work." Ruby was flustered as she hastily ran to the back.

"What the fuck?" Emma mumbled. 

* * *

As she worked,  she sat frustrated with Ruby.  She was pulling an _Emma_ and avoiding Emma at all costs.  By the time they were off, Ruby was already gone.

"Ella, have you seen Ruby?"

"Oh yeah, she already left for the day. She said she was in a hurry. Had something she was pushing time on or something like that." Emma dropped her head.

"Of course she did. Thanks anyways."

"Anytime. See you later Emma." Emma stormed out of the diner to see August waiting.

"Afternoon, Em.  You look pissed. Bad day?" She climbed into his truck and pulled out her phone to text Ruby.

_E: you can't avoid me forever._

She threw her phone back in her lap and looked at August who still hadn't driven off, but instead  kept his eyes on her.

"Yeah, bad day. I need to talk to you about something that involved my day." He began driving,  terrified of what may come. "I know you and Ruby almost had sex,  while it's fucking weird,  I'm not going to mind.  She said she wouldn't go through with it because of me.  There was something else, but she just shut down on me. Do you know what could cause her to shut me out?" She was rubbing her index and middle fingers in a circular motion into her temples. 

"Sorry sis, I dont. Maybe it's a girl thing.  I did take her up on an offer and she  _did_ back out. Just like she said. I don't know why she's shutting you out,  Em.  You're her best friend. She will come around." He grabbed her knee and squeezed, giving her a gentle smile. She returned the smile only it was fake.

_He's lying to me! He's never lied to me before._

"Oh I tracked the part for your car and it should be here tomorrow. I'll replace it as soon as it comes in.  Michael will call me.  You'll have your car back in no time.  You should have woke me this morning,  Emma.  I would have escorted you."

"I'm not helpless August.  I've been walking places for months. It's helped me stay in the shape I'm in. But if you want to drive me to the diner tomorrow you can." She smiled at him, hoping he would just stop talking. Her mind was back to her phone. 

_R: I'm not avoiding you Emma.  I've never avoided you. I just feel weird. Nausea or something_

_E: Did you tell August about the escort service?_

She tapped her hand nervously into her thigh while she waited for a response. 

"Earth to Emma." August snapped his fingers in front of her nose.

"Huh? Sorry was just shooting Ruby a text."

"I asked if you wanted me to drop you off at the house or if you wanted to go with me to pick up Henry. Wasn't sure if you wanted to nap, having woken up so early."

"Oh, uh, I don't mind going. I won't sleep til Ruby texts me anyways."

_R: no! Of course not.  You trusted me not to. Did he mention it?_

_E: no, but he used that term after picking me up from work. Just I don't know. He seemed nervous when I mentioned needing to talk to him. It was just weird._

_R: are you sure you're not just being a spazz?_

_E: no,  but I just feel like there's something you're not telling me. And you're my best friend. I thought we agreed no secrets._

_R: I thought we agreed at the hole that we all have secrets._

_E: so you are keeping something from me.  What, could my poor bro not stand at attention? Know what don't answer that LOL_

_R: Emma,  August is fine. It's just one of those personal things I can't talk about. Forgive me for keeping it from you, but know I'm not going to tell you. I'm sorry._

Emma tightened her grip on her phone to keep from throwing it.

"Emma? You alright? " August asked with a perplexed look. "You look pissed again."

She scowled at him. "Because I am. Either you or Ruby,  hell maybe even both of you are hiding shit from me."

Now it was August's turn to glower at her. "I'm not hiding anything Emma so lower your hostility.  You've lived with me most of your life, you know me." They pulled up to the school to find Henry talking with a small group of people.

"C'mon, Henry. We need to get home." Emma called, her mood flipping like a switch. 

"Nice cover." August mumbled.

"I don't want him to know we are fighting." She muttered so Henry couldn't hear as he approached the truck. 

"See you tomorrow! " Henry called to his friends. 

* * *

Emma had settled into her bed when her phone chimed. She grunted before smacking it off the bedside table.

_K: Good afternoon,  love. You have a good day?_

_E: no. Ruby or August are keeping something from me. I've gotten into an argument with both of them today. I was just fixing to try to nap it off._

_K: Sorry to hear that. Want me to slip my charm to Ruby? Find out?_

_E: no, whatever it is she needs to tell me herself. I'll text you a little later._

_K: sleep well, darling._

Emma sat her phone down, and rolled away from it. 

_If Ruby can't talk about it, it has to be because August didn't want her to._

She tossed for a while, before concluding sleep would not come for her. Her brain was too wired. 

* * *

Killian knew what Ruby was hiding, he just didn't know why. He decided to run to the Rabbit Hole to see if he could find Ruby. It wasn't too crowded being a Wednesday night. It took no time to find her at the pool table. She was flirting with one of the mechanics, bending farther than necessary to take a shot.

"Ruby? Can we talk?"

Ruby looked up, shocked."Killian...did Emma send you?"

He raised his hands up.  "No, no,  she actually told me  _not_ to come here. But, can we just talk. It's kind of urgent." She stroked Billy's arm and whispered something in his ear before following Killian to a table.

"What is it?"

He released a long sigh before running his hand through his hair. "I know Emma was raped." He cringed, avoiding Ruby's gaze. 

"How?" He refused to answer. "Damn it Killian, how?! Does she know? Of course she doesn't. Did you abuse your power to get this info?" She was turning red.

"No, not at all. She was a complete and utter wreck when we went sailing so I used what I knew and searched the web. I don't know how to put on a facade as if I don't know this information."

"Maybe be a decent human and wait for her to tell you such things." She hissed.

"Like how you're waiting for August to tell Emma what you can't?" He spat through his teeth. "You're no better than me, love. We both know what you're keeping from her."

"Killian, how did you find out? Emma  ** _cannot_** find out." She was worried now.

"I've seen how he looks at her when he thinks no one is watching. If I didn't know they weren't truly brother and sister it would have disgusted me, and I would have told her. I actually didn't know they considered each other siblings until after I helped move her in. I suspected at Mary Margaret's little party, and it was only verified the day I helped her move into his place. I'm a guy Ruby."

"Shit, I hope you're the only one that knows. He won't make a move on her. I know that much. He loves her too much."

"Aye, I thought not,  but Emma knows something is up,  and it's only a matter of time before she figures out which one of you are hoarding the big secret. It'll ruin her relationship with him. I don't want her broken. You need to come up with something that'll convince her."

"That'll be hard with her super power." Ruby sighed, taking a drink of her drink.

"Better get to believing your own story then, love." He stood up and walked out of the bar.

"What a disaster!" She groaned. She pulled out her phone to call August. He needed to know of the storm brewing.

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter! Quickly too! Don't expect another one so quick LOL. My mind was just going in a frenzy after the last chapter :) this is my first time writing a smutty scene so please forgive me if it's not up to par!

It was late when Emma decided to join August and Henry.  It was nearing dark and they were watching a horror film.

"Hey mom,  about time you joined us. Uncle August rented a new horror movie. What was it called again?"

"The whisper. There's dinner still on the stove if you're hungry." She nodded and walked into the kitchen. August jumped up, handing Henry the bowl of popcorn before joining Emma. Keeping his voice where Henry couldn't hear, he began to speak.

"Emma, I want to apologize for getting so snappy and defensive in the truck. I just didn't like what you were getting at." His phone rang out through his pocket. "Hang on a quick second." He answered his phone, walking into his bedroom and shutting the door.

"Ruby? What's wrong?"

"Killian knows you desire Emma. He's not going to tell her because he knows it will crush her, instead" She let out a sigh. "He wants us to create a lie. Said she's onto us and it's only a matter of time before she figures out who is the creator of the secret. We can't let her know. As much as I hate keeping things from her, I hate seeing her hurt more. There's one more thing. Killian knows Emma was raped. He said he did some digging, he had to have found the article.  He didn't say much, but he was super pale over it." There was silence on his end. "August?  Still there?"

"Yeah sorry. A lot to take in. Emma was holed up in her room from the time we got home to just before you called I'm going to see if she's doing better. We got into it after work. I'll text you, just do your thing.  I really don't want to lose her, Ruby.  Talk to you later."

Emma had her ear firmly on the door and bolted as August said his goodbye. 

_What could he have done to fear losing me?_

She was fixing her plate when August emerged from the bedroom.

"Sorry about that."

"You're apologizing a lot August. Is something wrong?" She asked disingenuously.  He looked at her in an obvious attempt to read her mind.

"No everything's good. Just worried about you.  Us. Everything.  Today. "

"Hey,  don't let Henry see you down.  You're always chipper. He needs that.  You're his favorite person. "

"Sure Killian isn't?  He couldn't stop talking about yesterday." 

Emma laughed,  "yes I'm sure."

"Good. It's good though. He's finally getting some male bonding with more than David and myself."

"Whoa! Don't get ahead of yourself. I've only known him a week. Him and Henry have spent maybe two days around each other. Ready to finish this movie? Is it even any good?" She mocked. 

"Hey I pick good movies. While it's a borderline B-film, it's been good." He jerked his head inviting her back into the living room. As the movie ends, Emma ushered Henry to bed.

"Mom, Hansel wanted to know if I could stay the night Friday night. Can I?"

"I'll let you know tomorrow. I know he's the one that has gotten you in trouble, and why Killian brought you home last week. Brush your teeth, I'll think about it."

"You won't even be here, mom. You'll be on that date with Killian."

"Bed, now. " She walked back to the couch and plopped down.

"So August,  you never let me read your last article. You know it's my favorite past time." She was resting her arm on the back, with her legs curled underneath her. He sighed, lifting himself off the couch.

"It's not my best work. Though I can say that doctor was the most intriguing person I've ever followed. It was fantastic, China was pretty packed  though." He opened a backpack he kept by the television and pulled out a folder.  He tossed it at her lap before pulling a camera from the bag. "I got pics to show you." He collapsed beside her, watching her read over the words he had written. They sat in silence while she read, August never taking his eyes off of her. When she was finished she was all smiles.

"August, this is amazing! I wish I could have met this man. So everyone calls him the dragon? Is that for real?" She looked at him before grabbing the camera.

"Yep, they really do. He's well loved over there. Some say he has magic and that's why he has such a high success rate. I obviously couldn't add that to my article." He chuckled.

"Right they wouldn't take you seriously. These pictures are incredible! You should get some blown up and framed. " She handed him the camera and grabbed her plate.

_Don't freak Emma,  you just need sleep.  August didn't look at you like that. He's your brother, he wouldn't._

She looked over at him putting his things back into his backpack.

"I'm gonna head to bed myself. The part for your car should be here tomorrow so I'll be working on that."

"Oh alright, well goodnight. I'll probably just sit up watching netflix, I'm not even tired. Luckily I don't go in tomorrow until eleven so if you were wanting to drive me still you can." She grabbed wine from the fridge and poured a glass. She walked back into the living room and held out her hand. He looked down at it in confusion. "Remote, dingbat. " She giggled.

_Definitely not a mistake, shit!_

He handed it to her and shuffled past.

"Goodnight,  Em."

"Goodnight, August." She fell into the couch. It all made sense. Everything Ruby said, what she overheard August saying on the phone.  She tried to brush it off as just being tired, but she knew. She wanted to feel betrayed, but all she could feel was sadness.  She decided to text Mary Margaret,  hoping she was still awake since texting Ruby was off the table. 

_E: are you awake?_

She flipped on a documentary about murderers  while she waited. They had been her new obsession since moving in with August. Her phone let out a deafening ding.

_MM: Yeah, I don't go to bed until closer to midnight. What's up?_

_E: I'm trying to convince myself I just need sleep!_

_MM: You sound like you're fixing to have a panic attack. What's going on?_

_E: August he..._

_MM: He what? Is he okay? Did you have a nightmare?_

_E: He...no. he gave me the eyes Mary Margaret!_

_MM: You mean Lust eyes? Yeah, you need sleep lol. Quit stressing._

_E: Him and Ruby are hiding something from me. Ruby said they didn't have sex because of me!  And while I was reading his article, he was just **staring** at me._

_MM: maybe he was anxious for a reaction. Lay down, Em. Try to sleep. I'll check up on you in the morning.  Love you!_

_E: Love you too. I hope you're right._

She turned off the television and headed to her room.  She plopped into her bed. She shimmied out of her pants and shrunk under the blankets. Sleep came quickly, quicker than she could have expected.

**She was running away from something, someone. She stumbled,  scraping her knees. She was yanked up with such force she was sure her arm was ripped from its socket. She screamed in pain.  A hand covered  her mouth**

**"Shut the fuck up.  It's the only warning  you're getting. Next time you scream, I'll bust your fucking jaw."**

**She was slammed into a dumpster with enough force that it cracked a rib. She whimpered and began a muffled  cry. She was thrashing,  trying to escape the man's grip. The taste of blood filling her mouth as he backhanded her.**

"Mom! Mom, wake up!"  **She could hear Henry's voice, but couldn't see him. Her shirt was ripped from her body. A cold, sharp object scraping her back.**

**"Struggle and I'll slit your throat right here."**

"Emma! Wake up!"  **August, Henry. She could hear them.** "Sorry about this." She was slapped across the face before jolting awake. She was completely soaked in sweat. She was clawing at her chest.

"Emma, it's alright. You're alright.  You're safe. Henry, go back to bed.  You have school in a few short hours. I'll help her. Emma are you okay?" He was pushing wet hair out of her eyes. She was trembling and crying. 

"I don't know. It's been so long since I had that dream it's so real everytime. I could smell and feel everything. Literally everything! "

"Here you go take a shower and I'll change your bedding. Sound good?" She nodded and stood.  Her legs buckled, causing her to stumble.  "Here take my arm until you can at least hold the wall for support.  They feel like jello?" She just nodded.  "Maybe it's time to go back to Dr. Hopper."

"No. I'm not going back,  it was just a nightmare."

"Emma, that was a fucking recollection!  That wasn't just a dream. You don't know what you looked like when I found you. If you're  _refeeling_ everything, you need to see someone. Maybe get back on some meds."

"Really rich coming from you  _bro_! Mr. Antimeds, aren't you?"

"Not when it's a potential life or death situation. "

"Why would this be a life or death situation,  August?  I'm not going to kill myself.  I have Henry,  who I love more than life itself. I'm not going anywhere." She grabbed another shirt and pair of underwear before heading to the bathroom, leaving August frustrated and defeated.

She returned to her room empty, and new blankets set up. 

_Good he's the last person I want to see right now!_

She didn't want to admit that she was scared to go back to sleep, that the dream would continue. But she drifted off to sleep, dreaming sweet nothings.

* * *

She was startled awake by her alarm clock. She slapped away the hair from her eyes and nose. She sat up, stunned that she had slept so well after the nightmare.  She dug through her drawer for a clean pair of pajama shorts. She carefully opened her door and slipped into the living room. There was no sign of August, nor breakfast. Her face fell when she witnessed the kitchen was cleaned. 

_Not even a note?_

She walked back to her room to fetch her phone. She had several messages and missed calls.

_R: I heard about this morning. Granny doesn't want you coming in today. Take a day. Love you! XOXO_

_Unknown: mom, how are you feeling? I'm using a friends phone. Text me back as soon as you can._

_K: Good morning, love. Hope you had a good night._

_August: hey Em, sorry I didn't make anything. Had to go into the office after I dropped Henry off. I'll bring home lunch._

_MM: Emma!!! How are you this morning? Are you okay? Henry told me about the nightmare. XOXO_

_Three missed calls from Ruby._

"At least I'm loved. " She took her phone and sat on the couch, careful to text them all back. Being extra cautious on what she told Killian. She decided to make coffee and catch up on more documentaries. She awoke to August shrugging her shoulders. 

"Well good afternoon, princess.  Looks like taking a day was a good call.  I brought lunch, from the big city." He chuckled. She sat up,  placing the throw back onto the back of the couch.

"Thanks, I only had coffee for breakfast."

"Maybe you should go back to school for criminalogy. It's something you seem to really be into. At least according to my Netflix account." He laughed passing her some take-out boxes. 

"Chinese? Oh August, trying to win my heart?" She joked.

"Actually, yeah. I feel like our argument this morning really caused you to push away. I shouldn't have mentioned Hopper. You just looked, well almost exactly as I found you."

"August, it's really okay. I would have reacted the same. I appreciate the food." They ate in an uncomfortable silence until her phone buzzed.

_K: Sorry to hear that, love. I have terrible nightmares as well. I know I will see you tomorrow,  but can I see you today?_

She smiled at her phone before replying.

_E: Yeah, come by the house._

"Hey a smile. Good seeing that again." August chimed before pushing noodles into his mouth.

"Yeah Killian texted. He asked if he could stop by today."

August looked hard into his noodles before nodding and meeting her eyes.

"Yeah, you could use the company. Hate to say it, but I will have to work on the car tonight.  I have to head back into the office for a bit. I won't be able to pick up Henry either."

_Another blatant lie._

"Oh, well that's okay. I'll see if Killian will,  or if he needs to take the bus. I'll figure it out. I am his mother after all." She chuckled. "He isn't your responsibility. I know, we're family.  Even then." She gave him a warm, sincere smile.  "Now that I have a belly full, I'm going to jump in the shower. I still feel gross from this morning."

_K: I can come over whenever. Told my boss I had an emergency and David backed me up. Seems David feels you could use company._

_E: Let me take a quick shower. August is fixing to leave._

_K: mmm, freshening up for me, Swan?_

_E: I broke a serious sweat and still feel gross. Freshening up for me, and maybe for your nose lol._

August stood up and grabbed his backpack. "See you tonight, Emma. Again I'm sorry I can't help today.  After this morning especially." She just smiled at him.

* * *

Emma stepped out of the shower, she wanted to feel safe even more so after her nightmare. She quickly dried off and made a beeline for the couch, remote in hand, when there was a rap at the door. She smiled and turned the T.V on.

"Coming."

She opened the door and was scooped into Killian's arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, returning the hug. 

"Here, come in. I'm okay Killian." She covered her mouth with her hand, trying to hide her smile.

"I know, but seeing you and touching you are quite different."

"Well, I have a wonderful selection of what we are going to watch." She pulled him by the hand for the couch. "Sit." She was giddy. She eased onto the couch, making a point to sit as close to him as possible. 

"So what  _are_ we watching?" He cocked an eyebrow.

"We are watching  _Cold Cases_. You don't mind me up against you do you? I kind of want to feel safe.

_Shit, didn't mean to say that!_

His eyes made him appear heartbroken , a small smile on his lips. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to say that."

"You're fine, love. I'm just unsettled that you've felt unsafe before."

"Well if it makes you feel better, I don't feel unsafe with you." She smiled up at him, snaking her arm around his waist.

"Aye, it does. I have no ill intent towards you or us, darling. Now shall we watch some cold cases?" She bit her lip. "What is it, love?" He stiffened under her grasp. "I haven't upset you have I?" She sat up and pushed her hair behind her ear.

"If I can be frank?" She asked.  He scrunched his brows, but nodded. "God, my hearts pounding." She laughed.  "Honestly,  all I want right now is you in my bed.  I shouldn't but the nightmare I had keeps popping into my head and I just need a different feeling  and train of thought in my head. It's not normal to want to be so close to a man after such a strange dream, but I just want safety." Her cheeks were pink as she met his eyes.

"I just don't want to hurt you, Emma. I want to go at your pace, and if that's what you desire, I'll happily oblige."

"I'm going to trust you not to hurt me, Killian . It's a big step for me, but it's all I can give you right now." She put her hand on his thigh, and leaned in to kiss him. He groaned as their tongues met in a synchronized battle. He cupped her face in his hands, tilting his head to deepen the kiss. She eased herself onto his lap. He slid one hand along her back, before picking her up. She squealed at the sudden lift, causing a smile to form on his lips. He nipped at her bottom lip while carrying her to the bedroom.

He tossed her on the bed, sending her into a small fit of giggles before crashing his lips back onto hers in an instant. She frantically clawed at his shirt. With one, swift movement, he yanked it off before resting his hands on her hip.  He slowly slid his hands up her side and around to her stomach. His calloused hands causing her skin to be thoroughly plastered with goosebumps. 

She let out a soft moan when his lips made contact with her stomach. He kissed his way up, uncovering her body as he went. He came face to face with several scars along her sides. He stopped his kiss to rake his thumb over the light raises, slowly giving each one a kiss.

"Take it off, love. No obstacles." He smirked. As she was pulling her shirt off, he was kissing along her waistline. He gripped both sides of her sleep shorts and slowly pulled them down. He planted soft kisses on her inner thighs.

"God, Killian. Get up here." She gasped.

"Sorry, love, but as I told you before, I aim to  _completely_ satisfy you. I have no plans on you only being partially sated." He expelled a hot breath over her entire center, before flattening his tongue over her through her panties.  She quivered at his touch. He nipped at her before removing the damp piece of clothing. He ran his tongue along the crease of her legs before making his way back to her hot center. She grabbed his hair, arching her back. He slid his tongue up her folds to her sensitive bud, giving it a gentle suck and flick.

"You taste incredible, love.  Better than I could have imagined." He slipped a finger inside, gently pumping into her as he lapped and sucked at her. She began rocking to his rhythm. 

"Oh God, Kill...ian...I..." she panted. He snaked his tongue up her body, taking a nipple into his mouth, still fucking her with his finger. He slipped a second finger in, nipping and sucking at her neck.

"I want you to come undone for me, love. To come completely undone in my hand." His thumb stroked circles on her clit as he pumped. 

"It's okay love, come for me." He whispered, his lips gently rubbing hers.

"Oh, God, Killian!" She screamed, quivering, her walls wrapping and constricting around his fingers. Her vision spotted as she gasped for air. He slowed his pace inside of her, letting her ride out her orgasm.

"You are bloody gorgeous when you fall apart." Her kiss was frantic.

"Killian, remove your pants. I need you inside of me, now!" He pulled off of her to remove his jeans and boxers.

"Uh, I don't mean to stall, but do you have any condoms?  Had I known this was going to happen, I would have come prepared."

"Are you clean,  Killian? I am, and I'm on birth control. I don't currently have any condoms." He nodded. "Then get back over here." She smirked.

_God, she's beautiful._

"Let me just take you in like this really quick." Her lips were bruised and swollen, her body pleading for him. A growl formed in his chest as he climbed back onto the bed. She lunged forward to connect their mouthes once more. He grabbed his member and slowly rubbed it along her slit.

"Are you sure this is what you want, darling?" He panted. She bit his lip and nodded. One one swift movement he pushed into her, pausing every little bit as he stretched her walls. "God, Em, you're so tight " He grunted as he slowly thrusted into her.

"Here, let me on top." He reluctantly pulled out of her and rolled onto his back. She eased herself back down onto him throwing her head back when she was filled with him. Her hair brushing his thighs. She slowly rocked her hips.  He stroked her body down to her clit before rubbing it in rhythm with her rocking. Her hips speeding up as he did. His other hand exploring her breasts. The room filled with moans and pants.

"Don't be afraid, Emma. You can fall apart with me.  I don't know how much longer I'll last, love."

She ground her hips as deep and fast as she could, letting her walls clamp and squeeze his cock. It was enough to send him spilling his hot seed into her. She collapsed on his chest.

"That...Killian...exactly what I needed " She struggled to speak. She pulled off of him and collapsed beside him.

"Can you get a rag? They're in the bathroom closet." He nodded giving her a sensual kiss before leaving the room. He returned with a warm, damp rag and slid it between her legs. 

"Let me, it's the least I can do." She nodded spreading her legs.  Her folds bright red and swollen.

"See something you like, Jones?" She joked.

"Oh no, Swan. That is something I am sure I love." He laughed.  He gently cleaned her up,  gently caressing her as he finished. She grabbed her phone to see the time.

"Shit! I have to go get Henry.  Can you give me a ride? I'll just be a minute. "

"Of course,  I'll start the car so it'll be warming up."

* * *

Killian pulled up to August's house. 

"Thank you for taking me to pick up Henry. Still on for tomorrow night?"

"Aye love, and it was nothing. I have no plans of going anywhere. I am completely at your mercy." He winked. 

"Thanks for the ride, Killian. It sure beats the bus!" Henry chimed.

"Anytime Henry. See you tomorrow, Emma." Emma leaned across the seat, giving him a soft innocent kiss 

"Eww!" Henry joked as he got out.

"Thank you for helping me today Killian.  And for not asking questions."

"Of course. Text me."

"I will." She slipped out if the car looking back once before stepping inside. 

 

 

 


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm so so so so so sorry it took me this long to update!! Have had so much going on! I promise not to make you wait that long again! How brutal. I hope this chapter is everything you'd hope for and can't wait to update again ! <3 thank you everyone that has kept following this story! It means so much to get likes and bookmarks ! :) this will have some graphic details of Emma's past. Not super detailed but enough

Emma pulled her phone out to text Ruby. She needed a drink. It was all too much for her to handle sober.  
  
_E: Rube,  I need a drink. You free tonight?_  
  
_R: Hell yes! I'm always free for drinks. Two hours?_  
  
_E: Perfect._  
  
Emma tossed her phone on her bed before pulling out some dresses to choose from. A slight rap ar the door pulled her from her thoughts.  
  
"Yes? Come in." She said while pulling a dress to her body, facing the full length mirror.  
  
"Mom, what's for-are you going out?" Henry asked, brows wrinkled.  
  
"Yeah I need some fresh air. Cool my head. August should be home by the time I'm going to leave, maybe. I'll send him a text. You can help him work on the bug tonight. He mentioned working late, but I think I freaked him out." _Lie_. "So he may be home earlier than planned. You know whatever he makes will be good. Now leave me. I must prepare." She giggled.  
  
She glanced towards the dresses, but at the bed. Still feeling Killian's hands on her, exploring her like no man ever has. She pulled herself from her thoughts to text August.  
  
_E: Still working late? Going out with Rube tonight. Need to clear my head. Not sure about leaving Henry home alone. Leaving in a couple hours. Just let me know something. He could even help you work on my bug._  
  
She finished getting ready before checking her phone.  
  
_A: yeah, sorry. Just swamped earlier. I'll be home maybe thirty minutes or so after you leave. That gonna be okay?_  
  
_E: Yeah that's fine.  See you later I guess :)_  
  
She sighed, he was definitely ignoring her. Maybe she'd asked the wrong friend for drinks. She needed to talk to someone about this, and well Ruby was already well aware of the issue at hand.

* * *

She arrived at the bar a little early. She wasn't sure she could face Ruby's lies sober. She was almost finished with her second glass when she felt an arm snake around her stomach and felt a face inches from her own.  
  
"So you weren't kidding when you said you needed a drink! Started without me." Ruby giggled signaling for more drinks.  
  
"Oh I was definitely not kidding. I have so much going on. My mind is on overload. " She rubbed her temples.Ruby looked at her urging her to continue. Emma sighed, "I'm not quite sure where to start. Let me get a couple more drinks in me. Let's talk about you or something until then?"  
  
Ruby scoffed, "not a chance.  You have to tell me something to tide me over." She winked.  
  
"You're wanting something juicy, huh? Well I'm feeling really bad. I haven't been on a proper date with Killian yet, that's tomorrow and I slept with him this afternoon.  I was just having such a horrible time with the nightmare, well memories,  that I just wanted to feel safe. Cared for, and I knew he would provide that."  
  
"Well," Ruby started,  drawing out the e. "He had sex too, so if you're feeling easy, then he is too by default. But I don't think it makes you come off easy. Adults enjoy sex. And you needed it. You haven't had enjoyable sex since when?  Walsh?"  
  
A snort sent both of their heads snapping to the booth behind them.  
  
"Can I help you?" Emma spat. "You know it's rude to eavesdrop on other people's conversations correct?"  
  
"Oh honey, I wasn't eavesdropping.  Your conversation is just annoyingly loud. And we all know about you. You've ruined marriages you know!" Emma's eyes widened.  
  
"Excuse me? I haven't ruined anyone's marriage."  
  
"Keep telling yourself that. Can't expect a tramp to take fault in anything."  
  
Emma could feel the alcohol making her insides boil.  
  
"And just who do you think you are?"  
  
"Emma." Ruby whispered, grabbing Emma's arm. "We should just leave. As much as I'd love to clock this bitch,  you have Henry to consider."  
  
"August is there." Emma paused,  noticing her friends troubled look. "If it comes down to that I mean."  
  
"I would be the now ex wife to one of your clients. So don't tell me I'm mistaken."  
  
"Well then, you of all people should know it was strictly your exes choice. For me, it was strictly business. I assure you none of the men were memorable.  I'd say you dodged the bullet there." Ruby snorted, spewing alcohol out of her nose. Emma raised her head to the bartender,  motioning for refills.  
  
"You really are a distasteful slut." The woman spat, standing.  
  
"What is your deal? You started this, are you asking me to finish it?" Emma came closer to the woman.

"You'd be lucky to try." The woman spat back. Emma let out a laugh that was more like a growl. She didn't think,  just acted. Her knuckles made contact with the woman's cheek before she realized what she was doing. The woman was quick to respond, slinging her own hand towards Emma's face, clipping her eyebrow. Ruby couldn't help but laugh, not hearing the bartender telling them to quit or he'd end it. Emma touched her eye before letting rage consume her.  Her pupils dilated, she was out for blood. She grabbed a beer bottle from a neighboring table and threw it hard against the girls skull. Her body crumpled to the ground.

"What the hell?!" The woman shouted, attempting to regain her balance. Emma was still holding the bottle.

"You made me.  You can't seriously come at someone and not expect retaliation."

"And you can't ruin marriages and not expect angry women!"

"I didn't ruin anything!  You're delusional." The woman lunged at Emma. Emma tried to attack, but was being held back.

"Swan stop!" She couldn't hear anything. The grips on her arms triggering her fight or flight response. She threw her arms back, trying to break free. Slinging her head back, trying to make a connection with a nose. Instead, the grip tightened and the voice was in her ear this time.

"Easy love, settle down. It's just me, easy." He whispered.  She noticed her nails were driven into the skin between his thumbs. She looked around, the other woman restrained as well. She blinked and looked over at Ruby. She had her hand on her forehead. She could make out Ruby mouthing the word " _sorry_ ".

"I'm really sorry love, but the bartender is demanding you both be arrested for disorderly  and destruction of property.  Seems Ms. Hatter took out a table after you cracked her in the head with a beer bottle." Emma sighed.

"Oh yeah? Let me give Ruby my things. I'll need her to relay to August I won't be home tonight. To tend to Henry. God, I'm so stupid. But  _she_ just kept egging me on." He carefully stroked her hand.

"God I hate doing this." He pulled out his handcuffs, gently squeezing them over her wrists.

"Always or just legally?" Emma joked. He let out a soft chuckle.

"Definitely only legally." He winked. They stepped into the crisp air and he helped her into the patrol car. She laid her head against the cool leather of the seat.

"Emma, what was all of this about? I didn't take you for the fighting type. And you seemed fine this afternoon. " He started towards the police station.

"I ruined her marriage apparently. Her name, Hatter, I'm assuming she was married to Jefferson.  Not my fault he called the escort services." She mumbled.

"Mind if I ask you something?" He waited for her muffled agreement. "Have you quit doing that? Now that you're living with August?" She sat up in the seat.

"I have one more client. I was actually going to ask you to attend the event, just in case. But I wanted to wait until we actually went out on a date. It's an exibit or party, old man. I've dealt with him before. He's  _never_ asked for sex, not that it'd matter. I could decline at any time. But that's the only reason I agreed to it. After our day on the boat with you." He could sense she was feeling guilty about the job.

"Emma, we aren't exclusive.  I'm not going to flip out on you. I just want you to feel safe around me. That you can trust me."

"It's not that simple, Killian." The words were falling out of her mouth before she could stop them

_Damn alcohol, why did I drink so much?!_

They were at the station, but neither moved to get out and go inside. He was facing her as best he could.

"How is it not? I've not given you a reason to doubt my sincerity, have I?"

"No, but my past has made it impossible to let it be that easy."

"Look let's get inside,  sleep the alcohol off, and tomorrow you can do what you need to.  As long as you don't forget our date.  I would like to aid your eye if you'd let me. Do what I can to prevent it from getting more black than it needs to." He helped her out of the car and started towards the door.

"I'm just glad this is a small town, otherwise I couldn't help you, and you'd be thrown in the drunk tank. You really should be careful.  Let snide comments roll off your shoulders. It's the best thing to do. You know that though. I won't lecture you." He paused,  opening a door. 

"In here. Brightest room and I can make sure no one disturbs. Your eye looks terrible, love." He uncuffed her and gently pushed her into the chair. He opened a cabinet and pulled out the first aid kit. He settled across from her and gave a slight smile before popping out alcohol wipes.

"What do you think Henry will say when he sees you like this? This will sting a little." He dabbed her eyebrow, a hiss following.

"I didn't think that far.  I have had a lot to drink. She came at me. I was there to destress, not add to it. Trust me, I didn't want to spend the night in jail. Especially not being picked up by a man whom I'm to have dinner with the next night." She groaned. 

"And I'm still honored to be your date." He shot her a grin as he placed a bandaid on her head. She grabbed his hands and ran her thumbs over them.

"I'm sorry about this. I guess you can say I got triggered. I didn't realize my nails were long enough to break skin."

"Well love, you can break my skin whenever you want. Now I'm sorry, but I have to take you to the cell. I'm patrolling until midnight. I will come back and check on you before I head home." He eyed her mouth and let out a long sigh.  "God I want to kiss you so bad. Wouldn't go over well being on duty though." He helped her out of the chair and into her cell. Ms. Hatter was already in her own cell.

_This is going to be a long night._

* * *

Emma woke to the sun creeping through her cell, a migraine in her head.

"Swan, you're awake. I'm just clocking in."

"What time is it?" She groaned, rubbing her eyes.

"It's seven.  I stopped by Granny's to make sure you didn't have to be at work. You'll be out in time for your shift. Granny needs you from 9-4. I'll get you out of here before I leave." He pulled out a set of keys from a drawer at the desk, walking to her cell.

"Hatter didn't bother you, did she?"

She sighed, "no. If she did, it was while I was asleep. I'm ready to go home. I need something to get rid of the pain in my head before work."

* * *

She walked through the door to August sitting at the counter. Eyes full of anger.

"Emma what the hell?!"

"August, please don't start. I have to get ready for work."

"I don't give a shit. I need to know why you told Henry you'd be back,  only to spend the night in jail."

She walked towards her room, only to have him cut her off.

"Henry was worried sick. I need an explanation.  He isn't  _my_ child, but you know I'll always treat him like he is. It's not cool,  Emma. If you're going to  _use_ me, at least keep me informed so I don't appear just as clueless. "

"I'm not using you,  August.  I needed a favor,  you're Henry's next of kin so naturally you'd be his guardian in case of emergencies. And the fact that you feel I'm using you fucking hurts.  A stupid bitch came at me and I guess I didn't think before I acted. It wasn't my fault."

"Since when do you have people in town starting fights with you?"

"Since you left to China! "Emma tried pushing past him, feeling the tears welling in her eyes. She hated this, hated fighting with him. Hated that they weren't how they used to be. He grabbed her arm, preventing her from walking away.

"How is it my fault, Emma?" His voice seemed all but angry, even softened.

"It's not, just leave me alone. I need to get ready for work. I'm not a child anymore, August. Quit thinking you have to know everything that is going on."

"Emma, I have taken you into my home at every moment you've needed me to, I've tended to Henry,  I've repaired your car. I'm doing everything I can for you and Henry. I never once said you were a child, but I'd appreciate being kept up to date with what is going on."

"Later August.  I really don't have time or patience for all of this. Please just let me go. Don't worry about Henry tonight. He is staying at a friends." She just looked at him in silence, waiting for his defeat. He dropped his arm allowing her to pass.

"Just promise me you'll tell me eventually?" He pleaded.

"Okay yeah, I promise. Just not today." She slipped  into the bathroom ready for a nice long shower.

* * *

She walked into Granny's ready to face Ruby. It didn't take long for Ruby to catch her in the back.

"Emma, glad you're okay! Did you get any sleep? When I dropped your stuff off, August tried to get me to tell him what all that was about. I lied and told him I had no idea. That I didn't hear it, just that I saw fists fly. Your eye doesn't look too bad." Emma groaned before heading back towards the front.

"Emma please don't tell me you're going to push me away?"

Emma spun around to face Ruby. "No I'm not pushing, I just want to stay in a good mood,  _not_ talk about August OR last night, and stay excited about my date with Killian." She flashed Ruby a genuine smile.

"Planning on getting lucky?" Ruby smirked.

"Already have." Emma coyly responded,  raising her brows.

"Yeah I know. You told me last night." Ruby giggled. "Man you really were drunk!" Emma slapped her forehead.

"That's right, I did didn't I? I had so much I wanted to talk about last night. She just had to ruin it." Emma sulked for a bit before smiling at Ruby. Ruby's eyes narrowed, she grabbed Emma's arm and pulled her to the back.

"Emma, what's going on? You just gave  _me_ a fake smile.  You know you never have to fake anything with me."Emma scoffed. Ruby folded her arms. "What the hell was that about?"

Emma knew better, knew to bite her tongue. She didn't need to continue this. Not here, not now. But logic and reasoning were gone.

"You know what it's about." Emma snapped.

"No enlighten me. I don't know what your deal is. I've not done anything to you, Em."

"Like what you and August are keeping from me? Yeah, Ruby I know all about that. He makes it kind of obvious doesn't he? And instead of coming to me like a best friend does, you chose to stay on his side.  That's why I needed a night out. With everything going on. But please continue to think you're on my side. Truth is you're not. I trusted you to be upfront with me." Ruby's mouth was gaped open just taking in everything she was saying. 

"Emma, you need to listen to me. You wanted me to keep your escorting secret from August, I obliged.  He wanted me to keep that, it's the least I could do. It's not like I was keeping something dangerous from you.  Jesus Christ, Emma.  Are you trying to make everyone an enemy?" Ruby had placed her hands on Emma's shoulders, eyes dark and sharp. The look Emma could only compare to that of a beast.

"Emma you know I love you and care about you as if your were my sister. I hate when you get like this. You have to quit freaking out. It was poor of me not to convince him to tell you, but that doesn't make me a shitty friend. And it sure as hell doesn't give you a right to snap at me. Now let's get through this day so you can be excited about your date I hope you will give me all the juicy details." Ruby pulled her into a hug. Emma was tense, hardly able to return the hug.

"I get a lot is happening in your life, but please don't push everyone that cares about you away, okay?"

Emma couldn't speak, just nodded.  She knew she was acting careless. She knew she was being irrational. She needed to fix everything with everyone, but everything she knew was crashing down on her. No one was who she thought they were. She couldn't even face August without feeling terrible. She had almost told him what the woman said, that she was an escort while he was in China.  To disgust him and help him to be over her, but she couldn't . She couldn't stand the thought of him looking at her that way. She had always striven to make him proud. 

* * *

The rest of her shift was as quiet as she could manage. The ride home was no different. She was glad to have her bug back, but sometimes walking felt better. She had longer to clear her head. But with the weather getting colder, she would take her car over an extra two minutes any day. 

She pulled into the driveway, August's truck was no where in sight. She would have time to get ready with an empty house.

 _Perfect_.

She pulled out her phone, realizing she hadn't checked it all day. An alert on her phone signaled she had just two texts.

_K: Good afternoon, love. Cannot wait for our date. I hope today has been more fair on you. I'll be at your house at seven if that's okay._

She quickly shot a reply before going to the next message.

_A: Hey, Em. Just wanted to apologize about earlier.  I was out of line. I just don't want you getting back into trouble. I won't be home until late. Have fun with your date. Love you_

_Love you_

The words were bitter in her mind. He didn't mean the words the way she did. She didn't want to let it bother her, but it did. Bothered her too much.

* * *

She finished getting ready just in time. The door bell rang as she was slipping on her heels 

"Coming!" She called. She grabbed her purse and phone, making her way  to the door. She opened it to find Killian dressed in striking attire, complimented by a beautiful blue shirt. She made a mental note of how well the color made his eyes pop even more.

"M'lady" He grinned,  holding out an arm. "You look positively statuesque!"

"You don't look bad yourself ." She smirked.

* * *

They pulled up to the restaurant twenty minutes later. Emma's mouth dropped open. The restaurant was gorgeous and had to be a five star. Killian handed his key to the valet and held out his arm for Emma to take once more.

"Now I don't mean to be so blunt, but I cannot think of another way to ask this. How can you afford to bring me here on a cops salary?" A blush crept on her cheeks at her bluntness.

"Ah, nothing to be embarrassed by, love. I'm good at saving. I own my own house so all I pay is utilities.  I have money left from the sale of my home back in England. I don't mind telling anything financial. A date is what you do to get to know someone. And if you want to know anything, I'll happily answer."

The hostess showed them to their seat, returning with the drinks of their choice.

"So I believe it'll be a two way street then? Tit for tat?" She asked shyly.

"Oh Emma darling, you don't have to tell me anything you don't feel comfortable telling. " He gave her hand a gentle squeeze. 

"Okay we will see how the night goes." She gave him a small smile.

* * *

They barely ate on their food, too engulfed by their conversations of their pasts. She could tell he wanted to ask something personal but was holding back.

"Killian,  what is it? You've been fidgeting.  Ask me.  If it's not too unsettling I'll answer. " This time it was her who squeezed his hand. He scratched behind his ear, cleared his throat, and shifted in his seat before finally speaking. 

"Well the night I brought Henry home you'd mentioned  Henry's father being absent. You haven't mentioned him since. Is there a reason? Where is his father? I just don't want to overstep when it comes to Henry. That's if we ever get that far " He sucked in a breath, not taking his eyes off of Emma.

"Well shit, Jones. That is the most unsettling topic." She laughed awkwardly.  She knew he needed to know.

_It might even push him away and make this easier._

" Well," She started. "Henry's father; Neal, was a no good guy. I met him when I was breaking in somewhere. I was stealing. I was only seventeen when we met. He was twenty-four. We were robbing the same place." She looked up to his beautiful eyes deeply watching her. Hanging on to her every word. As if he knew she never told just anyone this story. As if he wanted to know everything.

"He assisted me with multiple robberies. Helped me shoplift, taught me some self defense and running tacticts. I just looked up to him. Until one night." Her voice began to shake.

"We had made out with thousands of dollars worth in watches. He was so revved up he kissed me. It was the first time either of us had made any move on the other. The age gap is what kept me from making a move. He was an experienced man, I was just a runaway orphan teen with zero experience with men.

I panicked and pushed him off of me, but it's like something in him snapped at that. Rejection.  He slammed me into the wall of the building. Everything he taught me on self defense came to the surface. I kneed him in the crotch and ran like it was life or death. I ran as fast as I could, but it had been raining. My foot fell in a water filled hole and I toppled over. I'm almost certain I fractured my ankle with the fall. I hadn't realized he was right behind me the entire time. He yanked me off the ground  so hard he dislocated my arm. I screamed so loud, God so loud. I can't even describe the pain. He warned me to keep quiet or he'd break my jaw,  slamming me into the dumpster. He completely shredded my clothes,  broke several of my ribs. I didn't know he was the type to hurt women. He was always so sweet and caring.

" He raped me, broke my jaw anyways, stabbed me ten times, leaving me to bleed to death in the lonely alleyway. He didn't expect me to live. I struggled to find my pants, unable to actually stand. I called August.  I knew where I was, but didn't expect to still be alive when he got to me. Turns out Neal's father was loaded, and very dirty. He owned most of the police in the town. My case was thrown out. His dad made up an alibi for Neal's whereabouts that night. He never served time. " She hadn't realized she had been crying, or that he had moved his chair beside hers. His finger wiping her tears away.

"I'm just a damaged bit of goods." She tried to joke.

"I'm so sorry, love." Truth was, knowing the details made him feel that much more sick at his stomach.

"I'd understand if you never want to see me again." Emma said, grabbing a napkin to dot her face

"Why would I want to leave you Emma? It wasn't your fault. It doesn't make you any less of a woman. I'm quite fond of both you and Henry. You're an incredible woman, Emma." His mouth found hers, light but just strong enough to show her he meant it.

"Care to come to my place? I'd love to share more stories where we don't have to worry about looks." He smiled.

"I'd love that." She replied.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Are the chapters long enough? Do they need to be longer? Is it staying entertaining? Would love feedback :)


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A lot is going to be unraveling this chapter. Please leave reviews, comments, anything. It's all greatly appreciated!

The ride to his house was silent. Silent and peaceful, at least for Emma. She appreciated the silence on the outside, because she was completely unraveling internally.

_Why did I agree to go? Why is he okay with all of this?! No one can be this incredible._

She wanted to run, to get away from him and everyone she could. But she was trapped in his car, on the way to his house. Her body was tense, avoiding his gaze and touch.

"Are you okay, Emma? You seem...off. I mean I know what you told me was intense. If you'd rather me just take you home I truly don't mind. I don't want you to be uncomfortable. Just thought I'd share some things with you. Things I'm not sure I want to risk anyone hearing." He glanced at her a few times.

"You're a really brave woman, Emma. Bravest woman I've ever met." He gave her a warm smile.

"Thank you, Killian. I'm fine, just having a mental panic attack. Only a few people _know_ that. I never usually tell anyone I haven't known for months. It took me just a little more than a year to feel okay enough to tell Mary Margaret and David. Hell, six months to tell Ruby. I've known you what? A week? I don't know how to feel about having told you this early into knowing you. It's just so, I don't know. Henry doesn't even know."

"Your secret is safe with me, love. I won't tell a soul."

They pulled into his driveway, neither saying a word. He hurried to her side and opened her door. He held out his hand for her to grab. When she took his hand he noticed how cold they were.

"Your hands are like ice. Here let's hurry inside, I'll get a fire going and you can make yourself at home. I promise not to freak out again." He chuckled. She returned a smile, nodding as she did.

He opened the door to be greeted by Mr. Smee. Killian gave the dog a pat before opening the back door to let him out. Emma pulled off her jacket and made her way to couch. She couldn't help but look around. Though she had just been in the very room a few days ago, she couldn't help but look at his decorations.

"Sorry about that. He needed to use the bathroom. I'll get to work on that fire." He held out his hand to take her coat.

"You're fine, I was just reexamining your decor. I love how big into sailing you are." She gently touched a lamp shaped like an anchor on the coffee table.

"What can I say, love? The sea is like my home. I couldn't imagine being surrounded by anything else. " He smirked while lighting the kindling. She gave him a smile and lowered onto the couch.

"Well, it's the most cozy home I've ever been in. " She confessed. He finished starting the fire and made his way beside her. "What is it you're wanting to talk about? " She asked sheepishly.

He shook his head, pulling himself from his thoughts.

"Sorry, how rude of me. Drink? I have wine, rum, soda, tea, scotch, water? " He scratched behind his ear.

"Scotch will be fine. " She replied with a smile. He disappeared into the kitchen, leaving her alone to twiddle her fingers. She was nervous, but it seemed Killian shared her nervousness. That much made her feel a little better. He returned with two glasses.

"M'lady" He bowed, handing her a glass.

"Thank you, Killian. And thank you for not looking at me differently. I was afraid it'd make you run away. An act that leaves someone so damaged."

He scrunched his face at her comment.

"Emma, you are not damaged. Far from it. And I wouldn't dare run away from that. You've proven over and over again how much stronger you are than me." She tipped back the glass, trying not to just down the entire contents.

"So..." She started. He dropped his head before downing his glass.

"You remember when you asked me if I had a son and I said no?" He paused, waiting for Emma to nod.

"Well I cannot say that that is for sure true. My wife Milah, she was pregnant. It's how we found out she had cancer. When she finally had a positive pregnancy test we were beyond excited. We had been trying for a few years. When she found out, they scheduled her first visit at eight weeks. We went to the appointment, apparently the first appointment involves both urine and blood samples.

"It was a few days later when the OB's office called advising she go to the hospital for some testing. They did do an ultrasound, but they only looked for a baby and never looked beyond for anything else. If they did see anything they never told us. The hospital took more bloods and did another ultrasound. Mind you, we had no bloody idea what they were looking for! We were completely clueless. They had taken some PET scans as well. Apparently her white blood cell count was insanely high and that caused the OB's office to send us to the hospital. Everything came back good, except for her reproductive scan.

"The baby appeared fine, but her ovaries were both covered in tumors. The doctor wasn't even sure how she managed to get pregnant. We were referred to a cancer center, but it had very poor reviews. That's when we decided to come to the states and a few days before our flight, she miscarried. She made it to ten weeks. It was a very trying time, she only managed six weeks of extremely intensive treatment. She wasn't even the woman I married by the end of it. You couldn't recognize her." He sniffled, looking away from her and wiping his face.

"Please, don't move. I'll be right back." He disappeared into the room with the helm on the door. Emma swallowed hard, wiping tears from her own eyes. He returned after a moment and sat back down beside her, a photo album in his hand. She couldn't help but run her hand through his hair, a magnetic pull off sorts. He flipped open the book. He was letting her see all the pictures of Milah and him. Halfway into the album was an ultrasound picture. A tiny, very distinguishable baby. Emma couldn't help but run her fingers over the tiny picture. There were just twelve more pictures after the ultrasound. A Milah, slowly deteriorating. Killian was right, she had been unrecognizable by the last photo. The album was only half filled, probably meant to fill years of memories. She looked at Killian, his eyes at his hands, fiddling with his thumb nail.

"Killian?" Emma choked down a breath.

"Yes, love?" His eyes shifted to her face. She palmed his face with one hand.

"I'm incredibly sorry. I feel even more like a bitch for the day on the boat." He shook his head.

"Don't apologize, you were having a rough day. We all have them, some just have more rough days than others. You were well within your rights to have them. I won't lie, I'm a sodding mess most of the time. I'm unreasonable around the anniversaries. So trust me when I say you're okay, love." He gave her a smile. She looked around, setting the album on the coffee table.

"How are you so understanding? If you didn't have imperfections I'd think you were an angel." Her face was serious, but he chuckled anyways. "I'm being serious, it's inhuman."

"I appreciate that Swan, but if you'd seen me after I lost my brother, child, and wife you might not think that."

She slowly moved her leg over his lap, straddling him. She slid her hand over his chest, watching his face. His eyes dead set on her lips. She ran her hands back up towards his hair.  Shifting through his hair, she yanked his head back, pressing her lips to his neck. He let out a groan sliding his hands down her back and resting them on her ass.

"Emma, can you-" she covered his mouth with her own. She spoke in his mouth a simple "nuh uh". She was feeling her way down his body, not giving him time to respond before going to his next body part.  He grunted,  pressing himself into her hands.  She had her hand cupped over his groin through his pants, a smile forming her lips. He grabbed her legs and jumped up. She let out a squeal and planted wet kisses along his collar.

He led them to his room, a room she hadn't yet seen.  He dropped her onto the bed and sandwiched her between the mattress in seconds. Gentle Killian was long gone, she knew just how he was feeling.  He had just confessed something serious and was hungry to feel anything but sadness.  He was clawing at her clothes, nipping and biting at her every chance.  He leaned up to pull off his shirt,  her hands fisting and rubbing his chest hair. His pupils were dilated, full of desire.  Sadness was still very much filling them as well. She leaned up to kiss him, but he pulled away. 

"Killian?  Are you okay?" A worried look now filled her face. He smirked. 

"Aye,  just stay there." He lifted off the bed and walked into the bathroom, returning with a hand behind his back. Emma raised a brow at his secrecy.  He pulled his hand out,  handcuffs hanging off his index finger. 

"Oh officer Jones, I was wondering when you'd pull those out. If I didn't want you naked I'd think it'd be hot to be taken by you in uniform.  Maybe another time.  Now do I get to use those on you, or are you planning on using those on me?"

He gave her a smoldering look and growled. "You."

"Then get your fine ass over here!" He waltzed over to her, kissing her just forcefully enough for her to moan in his mouth. He bit her lips a couple times before rubbing up her body, taking her shirt with him. He pulled the clothing over her head before gently caressing her chest down the waistline of her skirt. She closed her eyes letting her senses take over. He slipped one hand behind her to unlatch her bra. Once loose he felt his way around to her chest, gently stroking her sides before cupping her breast.  He thumbed a nipple briefly before pulling her bra off and tossing it to the floor.  Emma's body was tingling with electricity and heat.  He kissed her again,  tracing invisible lines up her arms.  Lifting them above her head,  he grabbed the handcuffs and secured her to the headboard.

He slowly raised his body,  Emma rising as far as possible, trying not to break the kiss. He chuckled at her disappointed moan while drinking in the sight before him. Emma Swan in his bed, cuffed to his bed post. A growl formed in his throat. He nipped at her collar bone making his way down her body in an excruciatingly slow pace. He nuzzled a breast before taking the nipple in his mouth,  giving it a hard suck. He licked circles around it before making his way to her other beautifully erect nipple. He kneaded her breast while giving the nipple a small bite. She let out a moan, arching her back. He palmed between her ribs tenderly rubbing his way down, following his trail with his tongue.

"Lift." He commanded. She did her best to lift her ass off the bed. His hand slipping underneath to unzip her skirt.  He was applying gentle kisses as he unzipped. He pulled down her skirt and panties in one stride, careful to stroke her legs as he went. 

"God, Killian. You're making this so antagonizingly slow!" She groaned. He cocked an eyebrow and slid a finger between her legs.

"Aye, but apparently it's doing exactly what it's supposed to. Just relax, love." He gave her a wink, giving her hip bone a quick bite.

"But how is it fair I'm the only naked one?" She shot back. He jumped off the bed, quickly unbuttoning his pants and crumpling them to the floor.

"Better?" He asked sarcastically.

"Much." She grinned. He positioned himself below her waist. He placed gentle kisses and suckles to her inner thigh, her heat radiating off her center. Soft moans escaping her lips. 

"Killian...wait." She gasped.

"What is it love? Everything okay?" Worried panic laced his face.

"Everything's fine. It's just...well. you've already done this for me, and I haven't returned the favor." Her flushed cheeks masking a blush that would have formed on her face.

"Are you? Are you saying you want to?" He motioned towards his erection. "My my. Your mouth really is dirty." He gave her a playful wink. "If you truly want to I won't keep it from you." He pulled himself off of the bed grabbing the handcuff keys  and releasing her from the restraints.  She kissed him hard before spinning around and pushing him on the bed.  He let out an "oomph." She ran her nails down his thigh, careful to avoid the bullseye.

"I think it's only fair." She said, grabbing the handcuffs. He complied.  "Oh and something else." She disappeared into the living room, returning with her scarf. He gave her a confused look until she straddled him, bringing the fabric to his eyes.

"Let's open up your senses, Mr. Jones." She whispered in his ear while tying the fabric behind his head. Taking his ear lobe into her mouth, she traced a pattern on his chest. She nibbled her way down his body, stopping right above his erection. She let out a hot breath, watching it twitch at the sudden heat. She'd be lying if she said she didn't want to do this the afternoon at her apartment. She gripped him in her hand giving him a squeeze. She gave him a single stroke before surprising him with her mouth. He let out a  _fuck_ thrusting himself up instinctly. She slid his entire length into her mouth causing him to gasp. She bobbed her head, while making sure to give plenty of attention to his balls, occasionally sucking and licking them. As he begun letting out a constant groan, she stopped and pulled his length out of her mouth. She sat that way for a couple minutes, not touching him, letting him wonder what would come next.

"Emma darling, everything okay?" Though she couldn't see his eyes, she knew they were laced with worry. She leaned to his face and whispered.

"Perfect." Before giving him a brief kiss. "I told you this would open your senses. " She nipped his chin,  dropping herself onto his ready length.  Her insides stretching,  him filling her entirely. 

"Emma." He breathed.  She rocked her hips,  gently removing the blind fold, wanting to see all of him. He leaned his head up pleading for a kiss. 

"You're a bloody marvel,  but please no more torture."

"Oh,  is Killian begging? " She smirked.  She leaned down just out of reach. 

"Swan." He demanded, fists clenched. 

"I like you like this.  Not sweet,  but demanding." She kissed him,  his mouth attacking hers while bucking his hips. She clamped her kegels, returning his aggression with her own. She thrust into his body hard and fast, her rhythm becoming eratic. She was close,  he could tell, but he was closer. He took a breast into his mouth,  her thrusting causing it to pop in and out. Her body convulsed,  squeezing him with great force. A loud moan escaped her lips. 

"Don't stop, love. I'm right behind you." He gasped out. She sped up her pace, taking his mouth once again.  After a few more thrusts he spilled his seed. 

"Easy love,  slow down." He was saying between gasps. "Okay stop moving!!" She grinned and rocked her hips more. 

"Stop?  I don't know."

"God, Emma just ugh" He groaned,  his body quivering beneath her. 

"Okay fine." She giggled,  pressing her lips to his once more. "Should I just pull you out? Let your cum just soak the bed?"

"Do you have another choice? I'm tied up." He cocked his head towards his hands. She lifted off of him and started towards the bathroom.

"Swan, don't you leave me like this." She giggled and walked back to the bed. She grabbed the keys and slowly uncuffed him.

"Next time you're the one tied up the entire time." He added. "Shower?"

"Yes, please!"

They jumped into the shower sharing yet another pleasure filled moment. 

* * *

Killian woke to his phone ringing. He looked at the time, three am.

"Hello?"

"Killian? It's August."

"August? What's wrong, mate?"

Killian sat up, causing Emma to stir  at his side.

"Killian? Who is it?"

"Your brother. What's going on, August?"

"Let me talk to Emma."

Killian handed the phone to Emma, she jolted up. 

"August! What's wrong?!"

"Henry. Hansel's dad called me about forty-five minutes ago.  Said the kids snuck out. I've tried calling you a dozen times.  Their dad didn't have your number so he called me.  It took me a while to get Killian's number. "

Emma jumped out of bed, grabbing her clothes. 

"Emma, what is it?" Killian asked, putting his own pants on.

Emma ignored his question. "August they were supposed to be at Hansel's  _mother's_ house. Why was Henry at his dad's?  None of this makes sense. I have to go. I need to be out there! Fuck! Killian I need to borrow some shorts or something. I can't look for Henry in a skirt." She handed him his phone back. 

"Henry is missing?" Killian gasped. He pulled out some sweat pants for Emma to wear. Someone had to think rational and Emma couldn't very well go out looking for Henry in shorts in November. He grabbed a shirt and his shoes, tossing her a shirt as well before grabbing his keys. Emma was shaking as she got into his car. Her baby was out there and she had no idea where.

"Do you know his favorite places?" Killian asked, trying not to sound too much like a police officer. He didn't want her thinking Henry was just a job. He knew she knew he cared for Henry, but he also knew she wasn't thinking logically. Emma shook her head.

"Maybe the park? If he's with Hansel and Gretel both, it'd be somewhere they all enjoy."

"You said you ran away before. Where did you run to? "

"Henry wouldn't run away though.  I ran to stores,  subways,  malls.  Anywhere a lonely teen wouldn't be questioned.  Nothing that will help us." She sighed getting into his car. "I just...just drive around streets where we can see down alleys. Start there."

"And Henry has never acted like this prior to friending Hansel?" Killian asked, a nod from Emma following. "Perhaps we should talk to Hansel's family. See what  _his_ interests are.  What the kids discussed last night. If he's been acting fine,  my guess is this is all Hansel."

He followed Emma's directions to Hansel's father's house.  He was already standing outside,  waiting on her.  Emma didn't let the car come to a complete stop before jumping out. 

"Michael!  Why were the kids here?  Henry specifically told me he'd be at Sarah's house." Killian ran up beside her, holding out his hand. 

"Officer Jones. Here to help locate the children." Michael shook his hand and looked back at Emma.

"Sarah had a sudden business thing and had to fly to Vegas she dropped all three children off here and apologized." He seemed just as lost as Emma.

"How were they acting? What did they talk about?" Emma was firing more questions by the time he answered her previous ones.

"Family. After Sarah dropped them off Hansel mentioned how lucky Henry was that he wasn't dumped when it benefited.  But that he's not lucky because he doesn't have a dad to do things with. I told Hansel that was enough and so the subject was changed. What they talked about in the bedroom is out of my knowledge." He was twisting a cloth in his hands. 

"Fuck!" Emma yelled. "Do you have a computer?" He nodded and helped them inside. She checked the browser history, finding exactly what she was looking for. "I know where they're headed." She sighed.

"Where?" Both Killian and Michael asked.

"Boston. To look for Henry's father."

 


	11. Chapter 11

Emma stormed out of the Zimmerman's and headed for Killian's car. 

"If we want to catch up to them we need to leave immediately. They don't have much to go on so they won't find him, it's just getting to them before something  _happens_ to them. Boston isn't that safe.  They would have taken a bus,  check your wallet Michael. See if you're missing cards or money.  Henry didn't have any so they'd rely solely on your kids." She pulled out her phone to call August.

"I need contacts that live there that can keep their eyes open for them. Know anyone? I know Boston is not quite small, but just one person can make a difference. Thanks, keep me posted. I'm coming by to grab shoes." She hung up the phone to feeling Killian's hand at the small of her back.

"Maybe you should switch professions. You'd make a hell of a cop." He gave her a smile, trying to ease her panic.

"You were right, Emma. My credit card is missing." Michael called out.

"That's actually great.  We can track the last location it was used. I'll give David a call." Killian chimed in. "Let's get you some shoes and head to the station. You too sir." Emma shook her head.

"No time. He can go and give his info. You can either take me and have David call with the location, or you can stay behind and update me with where the card picks up. We are already wasting too much time as it is." She hopped into his car, Killian right behind her.

"You know I wouldn't leave you to find Henry on your own don't you, love?" He grabbed her hand, pulling out of the driveway.

"I know, I'm just trying so hard not to cry, scream, and totally snap. I want to hold it together Henry  _has_ to be scared, right? He's never traveled that far without me. That's a nine hour drive, even longer by bus!" Tears began streaming down her face.

* * *

They pulled into August's house, Emma jumping out as soon as the tires stopped rolling.  August opened the door. 

"Mind if I tag along? You said just one person can make a difference. I'm still waiting on my contact to call back.  Do you know anyone there?  We did live there for a little bit. You made  _some_ friends didn't you?" He was asking as she disappeared into her bedroom. She reappeared a couple minutes later.

"No, I hated everyone there. Henry was two when we moved, so no.  Definitely not. Even if I had made a friend, eleven years of no contact would void the friendship. You can come, but I'll be no help."

"I may be able to help." Killian responded. Emma and August both looked over at him.

"My best mate is from there, has a house there. Goes back and forth between here and there. I'll give him a call. I alerted David and he said he'd call when he had a trace on the card. I say we follow the bus route and plow through. Ask drivers if they've seen him grab a picture of him and let's go. Like you said, we are wasting time." Emma nodded, giving him a thankful smile. All of the chaos and he was choosing to stand by her side.

_I cannot forget to thank him for that when this is all over._

Just as they hopped back into Killian's car, August in tow, Killian's phone rang. 

"Jones. Oh, David.  What have you got?" Emma leaned towards the phone, trying to hear _anything_ David was saying. Killian hung up the phone, handing it to Emma. 

"Type in Portland. That's where the card was used just a few minutes ago." He pulled on the interstate, knowing it was their best chance of catching up with the three teens. 

"It's almost an hour away. We can keep this way for a while. Just shy of thirty miles. If you can go fast enough without going noticed by a cop we can catch up."

"David's already contacted the police this way. We are fine." Killian smiled, glancing at her and giving her hand a squeeze.  "Don't worry, love. We will get him back."

"Emma, what all does Henry know about Neal?" August chimed. 

"Just that we met in Boston, that that's the last known location, that he was a bad guy that nearly destroyed me. I never told him his name. He has nothing but Boston to go on."

"Good. But I can't help but think if you told him the truth early on, he wouldn't be on his way to Boston right now." He winced saying it, but felt it needed said.

"Yes, but that's not the best thing for a child to hear about their father. I want him to be more mature. If he gets pissed  I kept it, then so be it."

"But the sorry son of a bitch doesn't deserve any bit of good lies about him."

"I never lied about Neal, nor did I make him out to be a saint to Henry. He  _knows_ his dad is no good. I can't see him wanting to go all the way. Maybe rationalizing halfway." Emma closed her eyes, tears filing them once more.  Killian brought her hand to his mouth, giving it a kiss. 

"We'll get him home safe." Killian's phone rang again. 

"David, anything new?" Killian was biting his lip as he listened. "Okay good. Really good. We are fixing to get off the interstate towards 95. Keep me posted and I'll do the same." He hung up and turned towards Emma. "Good news, love. They've notified the bus company. All drivers have been alerted. They've got police waiting at Portsmouth. The buses heading that way will all be pulling in. They aren't to let anyone off until police can search them. So that's where we are heading. A little less than an hour and you'll have your boy." Emma let out a huge sigh of relief. "The other children's dad will have to pick them up, we aren't guardians so we couldn't even if we had space." He said gesturing towards the back seat.

* * *

They pulled into the Portsmouth police department, Emma barely able to contain her rage. Killian stood beside her and grabbed her hand.

"Try not to be too harsh, love. Let him explain himself." He kept her hand in his as they walked inside. 

"Emma Swan.  I'm here for my son,  Henry Swan. Thirteen, with two other kids." The woman behind the desk held up a finger for her to wait while she searched the files. Killian squeezed her hand again, able to sense her frustration. He leaned over and whispered into her ear.

"It's okay, Emma. Henry is here, he's safe, and alive. I want him out here now too, but she's just doing her job. Poorly, but still. Be a tad patient." He gave her cheek a small kiss, making her blush. She wasn't used to PDA, and especially not with someone she was  _really_ into. 

"Have a seat, an officer will bring him out shortly." Emma walked to the chairs but refused to sit. Instead deciding to pace.

"Killian, they wouldn't have put him in jail clothes would they?  Or a cell? " Killian grabbed her hand to stop her pacing. 

"No, he was probably sent to the interrogation room for holding.  Don't worry yourself to death." A loud door opening behind a buzz wheeled their heads in the direction of the door.

"Henry!" Emma shouted, as she ran to her child.

"Mom, I'm so sorry! That was the dumbest thing I could ever do!" Emma hugged Henry, stroking his hair.

"We will talk about it in a bit. Are you okay? No one tried to hurt you did they?"

"No, we kept to ourselves. This whole thing was Hansel's idea. I don't know how he expected to find my dad in Boston. I don't even know that I  _want_ to meet him. If he damaged your life, who's to say he won't damage mine. I wanted to turn around but Hansel said I'd be on my own. And I didn't have money to get back."

"Let's get home. We've had a really eventful evening." Henry looked at her clothes and to the two men sitting in chairs.

"You weren't home when all this happened, were you?" Henry asked embarrassed. Emma looked at her clothes and back at him. 

"No, I wasn't, kid. But that's okay, right?" She gave him a half smile to which he smiled back.

* * *

The ride home was silent. It was now five I'm the morning and everyone was ready for sleep. What little sleep they'd be getting at this point. Killian pulled into the driveway and turned to Henry.

"No more funny business. Let's not give your mum a heart attack, aye?" Henry nodded and pulled himself from the car.

"Thank you again Killian, you have no idea how grateful I am that you could help. I'll text you details about that thing we talked about." Emma spoke discretely, Killian knew it was because August was still in the car.

"Sorry, was sending Michael a text. I'll see to Henry." August spoke after a moment.

Emma leaned to Killian, giving him what she deemed a simple kiss, until he grabbed her face and deepened the kiss. Her assertiveness and cop like skills had turned him on. Not that he would admit that before finding Henry,  but he couldn't help himself. Emma's body became a hot inferno, before willing herself to pull away.

"Easy champ, I can't take you here and now and I have to become the bad mom for a bit.  The event is next Friday evening at 6:30. You will need to dress formal. I'm thinking I'll be wearing red if you decide to want to match me. The man will have to pick me up unfortunately, but I still hope you'll steal me away for dances and drinks." She gave him a final, quick kiss before opening her door. "I'll give you your clothes back next Friday." She smiled at him before closing the door. She still had no idea what she was going to tell Henry, but it would have to wait until she got sleep.

* * *

Emma woke around noon to pots and pans being clanked around. She groaned and rubbed her eyes. She slunk out of bed, grabbing a pair of shorts. While Killian's shirt covered her bottom, it was just too awkward being around August without bottoms on. She walked into the living room to see August and Henry in the kitchen.

"Seriously guys, after all that happened it'd be nice to get to sleep in. And if you think you're going to cook your way out of trouble, " she pointed at Henry, "you're sorely mistaken. You had me so worried, I was sick."

"I know mom, I'm really sorry. You can ground me for the rest of the school year, I completely understand. It was stupid and careless. Hansel just pressured me so much. And sometimes not having a dad  _does_ bother me. I just don't want you to feel bad. Like you're not doing enough or something. You're a great mom, but it'd be nice to have a dad." He was looking at his feet.

"You can always do stuff with August. He'll always be here." She smiled, looking at August. He gave her a fake smile back. 

"I know, but it's different, you know what I mean. I just want to know  _some_ things about him. I have nothing. As if he never existed." She sighed walking to him and pulled him into a hug.

"I've told you all the interests he had. I didn't know all that much about him myself. He could have lied about all he told me. He was just like that."

"Why won't you tell me his name? Why can't you give me that much?" Henry pulled out of her grip. She was  _NOT_ ready for him to be such a teen.

"Why? So you can go off looking for him again? Trust me, he wants  **nothing** to do with either one of us. Just leave him in the past where he belongs, please Henry."

"There's something you're not telling me about him! I'm not a little kid! You can tell me.  Did he want you to have an abortion? Why do you refuse to talk about him?!"

"You're too young to understand it, if you're going to have this attitude you can stay in your room all weekend." Emma's expression was stone, her annoyance peaked. She'd never felt more right than when she had told Ruby that Henry was at the crutial age. He did need a father, but there was no way in hell she would even let Neal know Henry existed. She refused. 

* * *

The next few days blurred together, with Henry being grounded, working nonstop, she barely had a chance to speak with Killian about their upcoming party. She had just three days before the banquet. Since she wasn't paying rent out of her money, she had some money to spend on a new dress. The client would be paying her enough that the small chunk from her check wouldn't be a problem. She decided to invite Ruby and Mary Margaret to help decide on a dress. Since August would be picking up Henry, she was able to just meet them at the shop.

"I feel like I haven't seen you guys in weeks, even though I just saw _you_ Thursday." She said, pointing to Ruby. Ruby winked at her. 

"Always an excitement around me." Emma bit her lip. "What? What did I say?" Ruby asked wide eyed.

"Oh nothing, just thinking of Thursday. I wanted to kill that woman." Ruby knew she was lying. She passed a swift glance at Mary Margaret, Emma just nodded.

 _Right, later._ Ruby thought. 

"So I'm thinking red. That's what I told Killian and I really feel it will compliment my skin and hair the best."the two friends nodded in agreement. They scoured through dozens of dresses before settling on two. Emma managed to get Ruby in a corner of the store, looking at shoes.

"I need a favor!" Emma said with a plea.

"What's up?"

"You're the only one that knows that this isn't a date with Killian. I kind of would like you to arrive with Killian. Free drinks, I'll pay for your dress and ticket. I just want someone else I can gossip with if things don't go as easy."

"Emma, you should have stopped at free drinks. You know I'll be there." Ruby laughed. "And I have the perfect red dress so we can match, plus no money spent." Emma let out a huge sigh of relief.

"Did I ever apologize for how I treated you the other day? Because if I didn't,  I'm really sorry. Everything has been hectic. I learned a lot about Killian Friday and I'm just feeling less sorry for myself I guess."

Ruby turned serious again. "Emma you never have to apologize to me. I'm your best friend, have been for ten years. I know when you feel bad for how you act. I can't say you were right, but you still never have to apologize.  Besides, you're stuck with me."

"I told Killian. I told him everything and he didn't run. I did have a freak out, and he helped me through it! Henry wants to know about his dad all of a sudden. And I can't let him. Not right now. I'm feeling crazy. How do I raise a teen boy and keep his dad from him? I knew it was going to happen, but I really wasn't ready."

"Sorry about that, just discussing wedding stuff with the planner. Have you decided on shoes yet?" Mary Margaret replied, looking at the pile of shoes in front of the two women. Emma let out an embarrassed chuckle, grabbing a pair she had set aside. 

"You're going to look like a princess, Emma. But you know that though. You'll have to send me a snapchat of you two love birds. Especially if he decides to match you." Emma giggled at her friends excitement before attempting to pull the conversation elsewhere. 

"So how  _is_ the wedding planning going?"

"Can we not? It's so consuming and it's beyond stressful! I still have eight months before the wedding, but it's still intense."

"What colors have you chose?"

"Pink and yellow." She smiled.

The two girls smiled back.

* * *

Friday came quickly and Emma was feeling very nervous. When she stepped out of Ruby's bathroom, Ruby couldn't help but drop her jaw. 

"Are you ready to set that banquet on fire?!" Ruby asked.  Emma had decided preparing at Ruby's would be the wiser since Killian wouldn't be able to pick her up. Emma gave Ruby a quick kiss on the cheek before leaving for the hotel, wanting her appearance to be a surprise for Killian. The limo came early, as expected. The man was very punctual so Emma was prepared. 

"Lovely Emma, I'm glad you could join us again this year." The old man chimed. Emma had easily seen the man as a real grandfatherly type. 

"I'm thrilled you thought to invite me. Is everyone from last year the same?" She asked, peering towards the limo. 

"All but Tasha, she moved off and decided to get married and have a family."

"Shame. Well I'm happy to be in your presence again." She grinned at the old man, slipping into the car. 

* * *

The banquet parking lot was filling up quick, and they were early.  She knew just how full it would be in an hour. Men and women from all over coming to meet and have a ball. Police, politicians, judges, and Lawyers all gathered to this event every year. She walked around, sticking as close to the man she was to keep company. He always let her have half of the night to go off and socialize, but she wanted to spend that time in the company of Killian and Ruby. She sipped her drink beside Stephanie, another hired woman. She couldn't help her wandering eyes, scoping the building for her friends. She finished her drink and headed for the bar. 

"Scotch please.  I'm with Mr. Longing, he said to put it on his tab." She smiled to the bartender. She didn't expect the breath on the back of her neck.

"Bloody hell, you're positively sensuous my dear." A stupid grin plastered her face.  She turned to face him,  he decided to go with matching. Ruby pushed past him giving Emma a long hug, whispering in her ear. 

"He would not shut up about you!" Emma smiled,  it felt good to be what someone enjoyed talking about. It was new and she loved it.  It frightened her all the same. She looked over at Mr. Longing and back at her group. 

"Just a minute.  I need to let him know I'll be mingling for a while. I'm mostly here just so he can feel flaunty. He's really a sweet man."  She came back after a few moments. 

"Well I'm going to mingle. See if I can find myself a single, rich guy to enjoy the night with." Ruby winked, leaving Emma and Killian alone. 

"Need a drink?  They have rum! " She grinned. 

"That's actually my question, but you already have one. I figured scoping the bar would be the best way to find you." He kissed her cheek, attempting to stay as formal as he could.

"Get a drink and meet me towards the bathrooms,  the hallway. Less traffic and I want to properly kiss you.  You look very dashing, Officer. You clean up too nice." She joked.  She walked off, making sure to give her hips an extra swing.

She was stopped by a woman she didn't recognize.

"Are you here with Mr. Longing?" Emma looked around and back at the woman.

"Yeah...why?" She asked nervously. 

"I have a girl that's looking for someone who hires company and I'm trying to find her a respectful man." Emma nodded.

"I couldn't trust Mr. Longing more. He's very caring and extremely sweet." She looked back towards Killian to see him engulfed in conversation with a group of men. She turned back to the woman.

"Well it was lovely talking, but I need to use the ladies room.  I hope she finds what she's looking for." She smiled, walking towards the hall to the bathrooms. Tossing back her drink when she did.

"Sodding fools, the lot of them." He commented as he approached her. "Everyone of them are looking at you women like a piece of meat. Not that I'm  _not_ looking at  **you** like that, but I am dating you." She had known they were a couple, but hearing it worded that way took her by surprise. His smile faltered at her sudden expression.

"It's okay, the wording just got me. I'm good, and you're right." She smiled a true smile. He tossed his drink back and set the glass on a small table with a bouquet of flowers decorating it.  He crashed his lips into hers.  The urgency in his kiss visible.  He scooped her ass into his palm,  resting it on her thigh. He pushed her into the wall, mentally clawing her.  She could feel everything he wished he could do right there in the hallway. She wrapped her leg around his waist,  pulling him as close as she could get him.  Feeling his erection pressed into her.  She raked her hands through his hair, scraping her nails over his scalp.  He released a moan into her mouth,  a smile curving her lips.  They hadn't noticed someone walking by them had stopped. At least not until the person spoke. 

"Emma Swan."

Emma and Killian snapped apart.  Her eyes wide and her face matching the redness of her dress.  She felt she was suffocating,  panic blasting full force.  She choked out the words she was fighting to speak. 

"Neal Gold."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks again for reading! Love reviews and comments! <3


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I've had this chapter done for a few days now, but because it takes so long to type up on my phone I've been stalling to type it! Been helping someone out for a couple weeks also so it took longer to get done than I'd have liked it to. Love feedback and hope you enjoy this chapter some. Not so filling, but something :)

Emma's entire world seemed to be crumbling all around her.

"N...Neal, what are you doing here?" She struggled to ask.

"I was invited, I'm a lawyer out of Boston. Are you a?" He started, meaning for her to finish.

"No, I.."

"She's with me. Officer Killian Jones. First time attending one of these." Killian could tell Emma was petrified, God was she pitiful.

"Neal Gold. Emma and I have a bit of a past. We go way back." He smirked.

"Is that so? She's never mentioned you. Must have been brief then."

"No, not really. Right at a year I believe it was. I didn't know you were in this area." He said, speaking to Emma once more.

"Excuse me a moment." Emma stuttered, ducking into the bathroom. She pulled out her phone and dialed Ruby. When she caught her voice mail, she tried again with sucess.

"Emma?"

"Ruby, he's here! Come to the bathroom." The urgency in her voice frightening Ruby.

"So how _is_  Emma these days? Did you meet from work?" Neal asked, obvious accusation in his tone.

"You can say that." Killian's inner beast wanted to break his face. He knew this was _not_  the place. "So how do you know Emma exactly?"

Neal let out a chuckle, "she was quite the criminal." A wolfish grin spreading across his face. Killian was about to respond when Ruby was coming into view, her face sheer panic.

"Excuse me. " She said, pushing hard into Neal and into the bathroom.

"Some of these women have no class. " Neal spat, brushing his suit. Killian wasn't sure how much longer he could hold his composure. He needed a drink, but wasn't about to leave Neal anywhere near Emma.

"So what exactly did she do to come across you?" Neal's question pulling him from his thoughts.

" _She_  didn't do anything. Someone else did. Excuse me a moment." He pulled out his phone to text Emma.

_K: Emma love, please come out. Let's head to the bar before I kill this guy in the hallway around all these law men and women._

* * *

 

Emma couldn't hear her phone buzzing in her clutch over the sound of her hyperventilating.

"Emma. It's okay, he won't do anything here. And when you leave you'll have Killian with you. He's right outside the door waiting on you. How about we head to the bar? Surely Neal isn't alone and has a woman to see to." Ruby was cradling a shaky Emma.

They emerged from the bathroom to find _both_ men still standing right where she left them. A terrored look in her eye, she turned to Killian.

"Sorry, had to fix my makeup. You kind of messed it up." She breathed. She was attempting to play cool and unphased, but she was losing the battle. Her bones had become jello. Neal's looks hadn't changed much, a light gray taking up residence in some of his hair.

"Not a problem, love. We were just talking while I waited. Let's get you another drink shall we?" He said lifting his glass off of the small table beside him. Emma nodded, wrapping her hand around his arm.

"Good seeing you again, Emma. We should catch up." Neal sneared.

"Not a fucking chance." Emma spat in one breath. She smiled at her own comment walking off in a slight stride, Ruby right behind her.

"I guess me having work here, we're bound to cross paths." He called. She wanted to freeze and completely break down right there, but she didn't want him to control her emotions anymore than he already had. Her grip tightened on Killian's arm. Once they were far enough away from the hallway, Killian stopped.

"Love look at me. I  _will not_ let him hurt you again. I'll kill him before he has the chance." He cradled her face in his hands forcing her to meet his gaze. "I promise you, I will protect you as long as I can." He pressed a soft kiss to her lips. She covered his hands with her own.

"I want to leave, but I have a job to do." She sighed. "I don't want to be here anymore." Her hands began involuntarily shaking over his. He wanted to tell her, let her know. But he didn't want to scare her more. He wanted to tell her he'd completely fallen for her. That it nearly killed him to say they weren't exclusive the week before. He wanted her to know he'd  _always_ be there for her  **and** Henry. That he would give his life to keep them safe. That he loved her with every fibre of his being. But he knew her, knew she would panic even more. Neal's presense here had just made his desire to tell her that much stronger. He had to resist, at least for now. Instead he just nodded 

"I know you do, what time will you be able to bail?"

"I don't know. I never have before. I don't know that Mr. Longing would  _let_ me. He is paying me to be here for him."

She looked towards the man of conversation then back to him.

"I could make an excuse. Henry being sick and needing me. Colds are common this time of year." She smiled,  the thought of leaving more alluring. She looked at her phone for the time, a quarter to nine. She hated leaving early but she needed out. She was smothering in the room. She walked as elegantly as possible to her boss.  She decided whispering to him would be the best course of action.

"I'm so sorry to be coming to you saying this, but my sitter called me saying my son is puking and hot to the touch. I need to go get him. I hate leaving so early." The man turned to her.

"You have a child?" He huffed at the news.

"Yes sir I do. You can pay me for the hour or so before I started mingling."

He shook his head, holding his hand up.  "You have a child, do you take me for cruel? I'll wire the money to your bank like always. It was good to see you. Please let me know your son is okay at least?" He smiled. She smiled back, giving him a hug before heading to Ruby and Killian. 

"Let's go before Neal sees me disappearing from this party." She rushed past several groups of people, the air feeling thinner the closer to the door she got. They waited for the valet to bring Killian's car around. The cool air feeling like heaven on Emma's skin. Killian placed a hand on her waist, pulling her into his side.

"My place? I have plenty of alcohol." He joked. Ruby looked at Emma, waiting for her to tell what she wanted to do. Killian passed glances at the two women before taking his eyes to the view of his car pulling up. 

"Well love? Want to come to my place?  You can alert August so he knows? " She shook her head.  She had _no_ reason to be here. No one but them knew what she was here for. 

"We can all go to my house. I want my boy and then I want my bed." She sighed. "I'm not ready for him to lose." She confessed defeated. Killian opened the doors for the women before climbing in himself.  "And I have plenty of alcohol too." She joked. 

* * *

They walked into August's all looking defeated, all of them matching incredibly well. 

"Uh..." August started before realizing he wouldn't be finding the right words anytime soon. 

"Where's Henry?" Emma asked, kicking off her shoes. August pointed towards the hallway. 

"His room, reading I guess.  Everything okay?" His brows wrinkled.  He looked at all of them, settling back on Emma. 

"Ran into Neal." Was all she could say. August jumped up. 

"Seriously?!"

"Aye, apparently he has business here. Real smug character."

"Who's Neal?"

All four heads snapped to the hallway, Henry. Emma's eyes widened. 

_No, no, no, this is NOT happening!_

"Someone from my past, kid."

"Who's Neal?" Henry asked again, his tone never changing. She knew he was just waiting for her to say the words.

Emma choked out her answer. "Your father." Everything went black.

Emma came to a few moments later.

"What...happened?"

"You fainted, love. Must have been the shock setting in. I'm actually surprised this hadn't happened at the party." She sat up, panic swelling as the memories flooded back. She looked around for Henry. 

"Henry!" She grabbed the boy and yanked him into a hug.

"Mom, I'm all right. Question is, are you?" Emma looked at him with sad eyes.  She tried to speak but her mouth was dry. Everyone was circling her, with her head in Ruby's lap.

"Here Em, get a drink." August handed her a cup. Emma sat up taking the liquid offered.

"Thank you." She finally managed. She sat the glass on the coffee table and attempted to stand.

"Whoa, whoa, easy love." Killian jumped, taking her elbow in his hand.  Once she was grounded she looked back to Henry,  and then at August.

"Please dont let thst bastard come within fifty feet of Henry.  I dint even want to risk him seeing me with Henry."

"Mom, is he dangerous?" Emma's eyes were still on August,  waiting for his nod. 

"Yes, Henry.  Extremely dangerous. I can't trust him around you. I'm sorry kid." Henry looked at his mother another moment before heading to his room. When Henry was finally in his room, August cleared his throat. 

"Well he's pissed. Should have just told him. Why is he here? How did you run into him?" Emma shook him off.

"I don't even know, I'm going to lay down before I puke. Killian, lay with me? You don't have to stay the whole night if you don't want to, but if I'm alone I may have a major panic attack.  I'd ask Ruby, but she's a major bed hog. My bed isn't big enough for her." Ruby gave her a smile.

"Eight AM, Em. I'll see you bright and early. Try to get some sleep." She gave Emma a kiss and headed towards the door.

"Please August, make sure he doesn't meet Neal. Please." Emma pleaded. 

"Of course, Emma.  You have my word. We'll talk tomorrow. I'll stop by the diner for lunch. Goodnight." He gave her a quick hug, before heading to his own room, leaving Emma and Killian alone. 

"At least I still have your clothes here so you won't have to leave in a suit and tie. Is my panic obvious? I'm freaking out." He wrapped his arm around her, stroking her hair.

"Let's get you to bed."

 

Emma crawled into bed, Killian right behind her. She pressed her back to him, trying to feel as secure as possible.

"Will you just hold me until I fall asleep?" Killian squeezed her into a hug and kissed her shoulder. 

"Of course, love. I'll be right here. I'm not going anywhere." Emma let out a sigh before drifting into a deep sleep.

* * *

**_Knock. Knock. Knock._ **

Emma's eyes snapped open. She attempted to jump up, but stopped herself when she felt a hand tighten its grip on her waist. She turned to face him, only to look into a pair of deep blue eyes.

"Good morning,  love." He smiled at her.

_**Knock. Knock. Knock.** _

"Em, I need to know something, can you open up?" She heard August ask through the door. 

"Just a moment." This time she did sit up, pulling from his grasp. His propped himself up on his arm, watching her pull sleep shorts out of her dresser. After getting dressed she pulled her door open.

"Something wrong?"

"Henry says he needs to go to the library to check out books for a project due after thanksgiving. I wasn't sure if you'd be okay with it. Given last night." Emma rested her head on the door frame.

"Just go with him.  You know what Neal looks like,  _he_ doesn't know what  _you_ look like. Just steer clear of him. I don't know where in town he will be, but I'm guessing it will be courthouse work. I have to go in at eight so just come by there for lunch. If Henry even wants to talk to me." He nodded and walked back into the living room. Emma shut her door and looked back at the nearly naked Killian lying comfortably in her bed. 

"You gotta get up and go. Like I said I have work at eight and it's nearing seven. Not trying to be mean."

"Do you not have time for some coffee first?" He asked ruffling his hair.

"Killian, I get what you're trying to do, but I really need a little time by myself.  Less than two weeks ago marks when that bastard raped and tried to kill me. I need some time to breathe." She avoided his hard gaze. 

"First you want me here in fear that you'll have a panic attack if you're alone. Then you don't want me here. Don't think I don't see you putting your walls up again. Please don't shut me out. I want to be here for you, to protect you. I..." He stood inches from her, questioning if she would even let him touch her.

"Killian  please, this isn't about us. You know it's not. I just can't handle this with anyone here." She was looking at her feet, arms crossed tight to her sides.

"I can't help but feel you're pushing away from me, from us. He won't be in town long. Let me help you through it,  Emma." He couldn't mask the plea and desperation in his tone.

"Remember what I said the day you took us sailing? Be patient.  I promise you it will be your friend." She leaned in to brush his lips with her own. The contact causing his eyes to close and his muscles to relax.

"You have no idea how patient I'm being." He smiled. "One cup of coffee.  Please?" Emma just shook her head. Killian gritted his teeth,  his face contorted into clear frustration.

"As you wish." He put his shoes on, grabbed his coat, and stormed out of the house. Emma plopped onto her bed and buried her face in her hands. 

"What the hell is wrong with me?" She mumbled into her hands. She had just an hour to get ready and be at work. 

* * *

Emma walked into work, tying her pony tail holder around her hair a final time. She gave Ruby a quick smile before clocking in. She wanted to tell Killian she was sorry, but couldn't bring herself to so much as send him a text. Henry was weighing heavy on her heart. His face at the news of his father being within an hour drive. She knew keeping him from Neal was the best choice she could have made, but her sons face made her doubt everything.  Her mind refused to slow down, cursing Killian for not ripping Neal's head off.

_Knowing everything, does he really care so little?! You're foolish Emma. All he wanted was in your pants. Just like Neal._

Emma hoped that being busy would also busy her mind.  Unfortunately that was not the case.  Ruby's constant glanced didn't help much either. Taking plates to the sink she stopped at Ruby. 

"You know I  _am_ fine, right? I don't need you staring holes all in me." She didn't give Ruby a chance to respond, walking straight to the sink. After she was walking back towards the front, Ruby grabbed her arm.

"Look, I know you're okay. You're strong, stronger than me. But even the strongest people need an outlet or they'll explode. I just don't want you reaching that point. Too much is going on to bottle up." She gave Emma a smile and a squeeze. "Oh, Granny wanted me to remind you to smile." Emma rolled her eyes and left Ruby to wiping the bar. 

* * *

As the lunch crowd began making their way to the diner,  Emma's eyes were glued to the door. She had clarified that August would be bringing Henry to the diner for lunch. She paced the tables, refilling glasses that were already mostly full. When August walked in, Emma let out a big sigh of relief. She perked up, smiling while leading them to a table she had not so rightfully reserved for them.

"You seem quite happy, mom." Henry said, eyes low.

"I am, I am excited to have  you here for lunch.  Find all you needed for your project?"

"Excited because then I wouldn't be near Neal right? And yeah I found everything I needed." Emma rolled her eyes at his comment, silently cursing how astute he was.

_He really is growing up._

After taking their orders she headed towards the kitchen. She needed to talk to Killian.

_E: Are you busy?_

When he didn't respond quickly she pocketed the phone, taking the trays of food to August and Henry.

"See, he's fine. He's not being scarred.  He's here, enjoying lunch with his favorite person, totally safe." Ruby whispered to Emma who was leaning against the bar. 

"I know." Was all she could respond. She pulled her phone out, noticing the blinking LED alerting her of a new message.

_K: Just a little,  answering a call. Working atm, what's up?_

_E: Why didn't you at least punch Neal?_

She felt stupid even sending that, but she needed to know.

_K: Is that a serious question, Swan? You do realize that place was full of cops, lawyers, and judges correct? Say I did hit him. I get hauled to jail,  get into serious shit at work, and leave you stuck at a party with a rapist. So do you really wish I would have laid a finger on him there?_

_E: You're right. I'm sorry, I'm not feeling like myself._

She sighed and pocketed the phone as soon as she sent the message. She knew it wasn't an excuse, but it was all she could say. She felt horrible for all her previous thoughts of him. The bell chimed, causing Emma's head to snap towards the door. Neal. She could feel her heart rate begin to speed up, her cheeks flushed,  and her hands becoming sweaty.

"Emma! Didn't expect to see you here." Neal spoke, truly sounding surprised. It took Emma a moment to respond. She gritted her teeth.

"Can you cut the shit for five seconds. You act like we split on good terms. That you weren't a steaming pile of shit who forces himself on others.  Don't even begin to act like you know me. What do you want?" Her words like venom.  He just smiled at her. 

"You're the exact same, just more experienced and grown.  Keep saying I don't know you, as if I wasn't the first person  _inside_ of you. I'll take a coffee, black, hold the spit." He winked. Emma passed August a look that all but told him to get Henry out as soon as possible. August nodded, causing Henry to glance at his mother.  He noticed how tense and frightened she looked and took note of the man at the bar.

"Alright, Henry what do you say we take the rest of our food and head down to the beach?" Henry rolled his eyes, but nodded.

"Sure I'll ask my mom for some to go bags." He began to stand, but was greeted by Ruby, along with two to go bags.

"Here you guys go.  See you later." Emma took her time getting Neal's coffee so Henry could be long gone before Neal left.  When she was satisfied with the distance she brought him his coffee 

"$3.88." He looked down at the cup. 

"Four dollars for  a coffee?"

"You're a fancy lawyer, you can afford it." He handed her his card, lightly touching her fingers. The contact sent an icy chill down her spine and shook her to her core. After she swiped his card she didn't hand it back, instead tossed it on the counter top.

"Don't lay another finger on me or I'll break it." She seethed, he just chuckled.

"You're not fooling anyone. If you were a mutt, you'd have pissed all over the floor. Tell me I'm wrong. I made you. I'll see you around, Em." She watched him, eyes never blinking. She let out a sigh when he closed the door to the diner. It opened as soon as he closed it,  Henry barging in. 

"Forgot my backpack!" He gasped.  Emma's eyes darted back to the door. She allowed herself a moment before getting back to work. If only she knew what Henry was planning she would still be panic stricken.  Henry had plans of his own,  one involving figuring out just who his birth father was and is. 

 

 

 


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't hate me for this chapter lol! I had severe writers block earlier this week due to the election stressing me and some personal stuff with my brother happening. When I got my groove back the last half of this chapter came to me! Hope it's not too disappointing! :D this chapter does flip flop to Henry POV so there's a little change to this chapter as well.

The moment they walked into the house,  Henry immediately darted to his room. 

"Hey where are you going?" August asked, plopping onto the couch. Henry paused. 

"To work on my project.  I need to start it. Now that I have what I needed printed off I can start on it."

_Am I being too repetitive?_

"You can work on it after while. You have a little more than a week. Why don't we find a show to start binge watching?" Henry shook his head.

"No, I'm good. I'd rather get this done sooner rather than later." He walked into his room without waiting on another comment from August.

"Alright well dinner will be ready at six." August called to the closed room. Henry immediately slipped out of his bedroom window. He needed to be quiet and out of sight if he was going to find this Neal character. He carefully dropped his backpack out of the window and eased himself out. He figured if he kept to the shadows he could locate the vehicle the man climbed into. He had overheard his mom telling August he would likely be around the courthouse. He crept along the alleys, tucking behind dumpsters as pedestrians passed. He quickly spotted the large SUV as he approached the courthouse. He hurriedly slipped in and approached the receptionist.

"May I help you?" The young brunette asked him.

"Yes, um. I'm here to see Mr. Neal. I forgot his last name. He isn't from here." Henry had very little information about the man in question, but he let out a huge sigh of relief when she smiled.

"Neal Gold. Do you have an appointment? I'm not sure what you'd have for his case." Henry shuffled before deciding what he would tell her.

"No, I dont. I just figured if he wasn't busy I'd like to talk to him. Personal reasons." He wasn't too sure he wanted Neal knowing who he was.

"Let me check his schedule really quick. If you'll have a seat I'll let you know if you should come back another time, or if today would work out." She smiled at him.

"Thank you." He paced the two chairs before getting the nerve to sit down. He didn't want his mother to be right about the man that was his father. 

"Excuse me, young man. His schedule is clear after two-thirty. If you don't mind sitting for thirty minutes. I'll just let him know you're here. What name do I need to tell him?"

"Henry. My name is Henry."

* * *

Emma couldn't help but fear Neal saw Henry and recognized his resemblance to himself. She worked quietly, trying not to be too obvious of her nervousness.

"Emma are you okay?" Ruby was right behind her, startling her out of her trance.

"Yeah sorry, just thinking about Neal. I can't believe he's in town. I feel like he's planned it that way. That he's _trying_ to work me up. He had to of done a search on me. Can he find out I have a son? " Panic lacing her voice.

"Honestly, Em, I have no idea what he has access to. I suppose he _could_ , but if he knew wouldn't he have said something?"

"What if he's here **because** he learned about Henry and wants to be in his life?!" She was in full blown panic. "This is too much Ruby. He needs to get out of this town fast!" Ruby looked at the clock and back to Emma.

"You get off in just an hour, why don't you take the rest of the day to be with Henry, huh?" Ruby was carrasing her back, hoping to talk sense into Emma.

"No, like you said, it's just an hour.  I'm fine.  I can handle one more hour. I hope." She gave Ruby a mostly true smile before heading to the customers that had just walked in. She was adamant in keeping her mind busy and she did.  In an hour she would be home. Contemplating getting out of the town for the rest of the day. She would have to invite August, who fortunately for her, wasn't acting as weird as he had been. Likely too worried about the Neal ordeal. When three o'clock approached she was more than  ready to be home. She'd planned a trip to a ship museum several cities away. Her giddiness as she entered the house confused August. 

"Everything okay?" He asked, eyebrow raised.

"Yeah, decided we're going to that ship museum over in Bath. I want you to go too. Henry will love it. Is he in his room?" She sat her purse on the counter, and opened the fridge. 

"Yeah, he said he was going to tackle his project so he doesn't have to worry about it closer to the due date."

"Henry! Can you come in here?" Emma called, silence being the only response.

"Maybe he's listening to music and can't hear you?" Emma sighed, walking to the hall. She opened the door to discover an empty room, and his bedroom window cracked.

"August! Henry isn't here!!" Emma screamed.

* * *

_2:30 pm_

The man from the diner emerged from a nearby room.

"Henry?" He asked the boy sitting across from the receptionists desk.

"Yes, and are you Mr. Neal?" Henry spoke, attempting to mask his nervousness.

"Yes sir, I sure am. Do you want to come to  _my_ office? I say my but I'm only borrowing it for the duration I'll be here. Follow me." He smiled, holding his hand in the direction of the office. Once inside he instructed him to take a seat.

"What can I do for you Henry? I take it you're not needing a lawyer for anything." Henry shifted in his seat. He'd thought about everything he was going to say, but had difficulty getting the words out. Neal leaned back in his seat, resting his hands on his lap. The impatience visible in his expression.

"Uh, well in school we have to do an essay on someone. I chose you because I've never seen you here before." Neal let out a laugh.

"Nice try kid. Never bullshit a bullshitter. Why are you  _really_ here? You know I'm a lawyer working a case here. Are you here for info to feed the prosecuting attorney?" Henry's face turned a light shade of pink. 

"You're right. I'm not here for an essay. I'd be killed if my mom knew where I was."

"At a courthouse? You'd be in trouble for that? Strict mom."

"It's not that." Henry sighed. He knew his mom would be devestated if she found out,  he was aware she would definitely find out. He didn't have an another lie built up.

"Look son, if you're not safe at home we can help you."

"What?" Henry was stuck at the  _son_ nickname.

"I said if you need help we can help."

"You called me son . How did you..." Henry's words quieted to an almost unheard volume. His eyes full of shock. Neal sat up and leaned towards Henry from behind the desk.

"What? What did you just say?"

"How did you know."

"Know what? Why are you here?" Henry looked around the room, he wanted to soak up the moment he would remember forever.

"You're my dad." Neal let out a soft chuckle. 

"Sorry kid, that I am definitely not-"

"My mom's name is Emma Swan." Neal's face dropped. He ran his hands through his hair, eyes locked on Henry.

"Impossible."

"But it's not. And she doesn't want us meeting."

* * *

Emma yanked her phone from her bag, dialing Killian.  He answered on the second ring.

"Hello love, what can I help you with? "Killian asked cooly.

"Killian! Henry snuck out again and I think he has gone looking for Neal. Can you check around for him? "

"Sure thing love, I'll call you if I see him." She grabbed her coat before storming out the door. The only place she could think he would be was the courthouse.

_How would he know to look there though?_

Emma hesitated, Henry could have been looking for a couple hours now. The courthouse it would be then. Emma flew through town, lucky to avoid being pulled over. She jerked into the courthouse parking lot, barely letting it coming to a stop. As she entered, she was greeted by an overly friendly brunette.

"Good afternoon, can I help you?" Emma rolled her eyes on reflex. 

"Yes, looking for this boy." She held up Henry's school picture.

"Oh yes, he's in Mr. Gold's office. Last door on the right." She smiled. Emma darted down the hall until she heard a familiar voice.

_Henry._

* * *

Neal was staring hard at the boy in front of him.

"Why don't you think she wants us meeting, boy?"

"Henry, and I don't know. She said you were a very bad man."

"Then why did you come looking for me?" Neal couldn't say he was shocked that Emma spoke so poorly of him, but he was shocked he sought him out anyways.

"I'm not positive, but according to my mom I'm at a crutial age. And when I found out you were here, I  knew it'd be my only chance to find you." Henry wanted to ask him a million questions, but wanted to make a good first impression. 

"I see, and she has no idea you're here?  What is she going to say when she finds out you're here?" Henry shifted in his seat at the thought. 

"I can handle my mom,  but I'm sure I'll be grounded for a month. Maybe even until I'm eighteen. Enough about me, I came to learn about you. Have you always been a lawyer? How old are you? You look a lot older than my mom. Is that why you didn't make it work?"

The kid had questions. Damn good ones too. He definitely came prepared. 

"Well, no. I haven't always been a lawyer. And I'm thirteen years older than your mom, but that's not why we didn't work it out. We were just toxic for each other. I didn't even know about you."

"I knew that last part." The door behind them opened to reveal a pissed off Emma.

"Henry, out. Go wait in the car. Now." She gritted her teeth waiting for him to leave.

"Good luck." Henry mumbled before grabbing his bag and stepping out. Emma shut the door behind him to muffle out as much of what she was gonna say as possible. 

"What the hell is wrong with you? Don't you dare come around my son again."

"Excuse me? He came to  _me_ , not the other way around and it looks like he's  _ **our**_ son, not just yours."

"So you're admitting to what you did? He's  _my_ son, I dare you to fight me on it. You don't get to be in his life. If he is to come here again, I expect a call." Emma turned to walk out.

"Can't even keep tabs on him, huh? Like mother like son. I figured you of all people knew how important it is for a child to have both parents." The words hit hard, enraging her more.

"He has positive male role models. He doesn't need you as well. You proved you're the exact same boy you were all those years ago, and we don't need or want the likes of you drilling holes in everything we've created." Neal leaned back in his chair taking in the sight of the fuming blonde. 

"Do you think I'd hurt him, Emma? Is that why you don't want me around him? Or are you scared I can give him more than you can?" He was testing her. He was grinning at her sudden panic.

"You wouldn't dare, just stay away from him." She grabbed the door handle, but his hand was firmly on the wood, holding it closed. He was so close she could feel the heat of his body right on hers 

"Or what, Em? You gonna sick your cop boyfriend on me? His breath tickled her neck and ear,  causing her heart to race and panic to set back in. He gave her a low chuckle and released the door. He was strong, she knew that.

"Just so you know, I would never hurt that boy. Henry, if there's one person I'd do right, it'd be my own flesh. I won't push him away if he comes to me. And I won't be letting you know if he does." Emma pulled open the door and stormed out. 

* * *

"Don't think you're not in trouble, Henry. I can't even believe you right now." Henry was silent in the next seat, taking in his lecture. "What were you thinking? I told you he was dangerous! And you still went to him!"

"He's not dangerous. " Henry mumbled, arms folded.

"You just know that? After being around him five minutes? Henry I  _know_ him.  He is exactly the same as he was then.  If you could just trust me, kid. I know what I'm talking about. You're grounded until December." Henry narrowed his eyes at her but said no more.

* * *

Emma pulled into the driveway, and pulled out her phone to text Killian about having found Henry. It had been too stressful couple of days. She could really go for seeing him, but didn't want to seem too clingy. 

_E: hey found Henry.  He met Neal. I'm not sure what to do. Just call me this evening and I'll go into detail about it._

_K: glad the lad was found, bummer about the rest. I'll call you when I get home. When will I see you again?_

He hadn't wanted to push her too hard after their conversation this morning and afternoon, but he had gotten used to being around her.

_E: I'm not sure. What are you doing for thanksgiving? Have we already talked about this?_

_K: I don't think we have, and I'm not doing anything. We don't celebrate that in England :P  will it really have to be five more days before I see you again?_

_He was being too much._

_K: I'm sorry, too strong?_

_E: You're fine, and I'm not sure. I'll have to see the schedule. We'll be eating at Granny's. I need to see what I need to fix this year.  I'll let you know._

Emma pocketed her phone and walked into the house. August was at the stove, the smell of something foreign in the air.

"What  _are_ you cooking?" Emma asked, nose crinkled. August fiened hurt.

"I'll have you know I'm cooking something I learned in China from a family I stayed with. Henry went straight to his room. I'm going to assume it wasn't good on where he was."

"You assume correctly. They met, he knows for sure he has a child. Henry is not going to leave this alone. I'm just stressed." She breathed out before plopping down onto the couch. As soon as she laid her head back, she felt a pair of hands kneading into her scalp. She let out a small sound.

"Dear God, that feels good." She giggled.

"It always used to help when you were stressed. Especially when it involved Henry or Neal."

"Just don't burn dinner. I'm too hungry to wait more than necessary. " She teased. An uneasiness overcame her. Usually she loved August's massages, but they didn't used to come with feelings. Or they did, but she didn't know at the time. He must have felt her tense, because he paused before working at her shoulders. 

"It has to simmer for thirty minutes. I won't burn it, your majesty. This knot, however, needs immediate attention. Jesus Emma, you really need to let people take care of you." As tense as she _wanted_ to be, she couldn't with August's fingers writing magic into her muscles. 

"Sorry, not everyone has the magical writer fingers you do." She pat his hand before lifting up. "I'm taking a shower. I'll expect weird but good food when I get out." She smiled at August,  thanks written in her eyes, before heading to the bathroom.

* * *

"Henry dinner is ready ." Emma yelled at Henry's door on her way back into the living room.  Unaware if it were really finished.

"Okay it smells better now than it did when I first came in. It  _is_ done, right?" She stepped into the kitchen, grabbing the plates from the cabinet.

"Setting the table? Good shower?" His question laced with inuendo. Emma swatted him in the arm 

"I'm wanting to feel useful thank you very much. Don't joke like that around Henry." She warned. August threw his hands up in defeat.

"Sorry, just light banter. I'll stop." He gave her an innocent, but michevious smile. 

* * *

"Thanks for dinner, you were right. It  _was_ better than it smelled. And I wouldn't mind eating it again sometime." She brought him the last of the dishes.

"I knew you'd like it. I've known you forever, I know what you like. I'm not going to feed you something you'd hate." Emma let out a snort before meeting his questioning expression. "Have I fed you something gross?" She shook her head.

"Don't mind me, just thinking of something Ruby said this afternoon." She grabbed her wine glass and refilled it

"Emma Swan. That was a blatant lie. Correct yourself young lady." He joked.

"It's nothing." She noticed him lifting the sprayer and taking aim.

"August Wayne Booth you better not spray me. You make my wine watery and I'll kill you." August raised the sprayer higher.

"Why are you even drinking wine? Where's the scotch? If you're wanting to relax, that will work wonderfully. Me on the other hand." He motioned towards his backpack. "Have more relaxing ideas."

"What, porn?" Emma giggled, taking another sip of her wine. August looked at her as if she were a small child.

"Don't say that again. No, it what else is in the bag.  My little green friend, you pervert." He pulled the trigger on the sprayer, hitting Emma right in the neck. Emma's mouth flew open in shock.

"You are so lucky that was hot and not icy!" August let out a belly laugh and finished loading the dishwasher.

"Is Henry grounded from enjoying the bonfire? Nice night for it. " Emma looked in the direction of the hall and back to the man in front of her.

"I'll see if he wants to. I snapped a little bit on the way home, so he may not want to. Find the scotch and no pot until Henry is in bed."

Emma knocked on Henry's door. 

"Henry do you want to sit around the fire out back? Aug-"

"Nope, I'm going to bed." Point blank. Emma wanted to be shocked, but she knew Henry. Knew he would need some time. If the sullen silence at dinner hadn't already told her that.

"Okay, I'll see you at breakfast." She spoke into the door, before walking into her room to change out of her wet clothes. 

She met August on the patio. 

"Scotch on the table, greens in the pocket. I'll get the fire going. You help yourself to the scotch. You can tell me how everything went down earlier." Emma picked up the scotch bottle and debated drinking straight from the bottle before deciding against it. She filled two glasses and walked towards the fire August had gotten started. She held out his glass smiling  that he decided to take it. August never favored scotch the way she did. It was the first alcohol she tasted, and it would be her favorite from the first drop. August pulled out his pipe and began loading it.

"Are you going to join me?" He raised an eyebrow at her, raising the pipe. She returned the expression and nodded.

"Hell yeah."

* * *

"You really told him that? He's such a prick." Emma refilled her glass for the fourth time. August grabbed the bottle from her hand. "I think that's enough for you. Don't need you passing out on me. Here better idea. Let me put this out and we can go back inside where it's warm."

"But I'm warm now." Emma slurred.

"Yeah, because you've had three glasses of scotch, wine, and smoked a bowl with me. You're going to sleep incredible tonight." He held out his hand for her to take after kicking out the fire and wetting what was left. Emma grabbed at his hand a few times before finally gripping it. He helped her up, not letting go of her elbow.  Emma let out a fit of giggles as if he were tickling her.

"Genius idea getting you fucking plastered, in the dark, outside. What was I thinking?" He mumbled to himself mostly.

"Did you say you want to fuck me?" Emma gasped, giggles following behind. August stopped for a second before walking again. "I know you want to. I've known for a few weeks. I see how you've eyed me. Don't worry, I'll keep your secret." Emma stuck her finger to her lips,  giggles following. "You know what? I'll do something for you."

"Emma please,  let's just get inside. This is awkward enough." He sighed. 

"No look, you can kiss me one time. A free kiss.  Just to get it off your chest.  We'll never talk about it again."

"I'm not going to kiss you Em. You're drunk,  let's get you inside." She propped herself on the patio table,  now refusing to leave it.  August tugged at her,  causing her to lose grip on thr furniture.  "Please quit being impossible."

"You're the one being impossible.  If you'd kiss me you'd feel better." She spoke into his chest as he half drug her to the door.  The kiss to his neck stopped him dead. 

"Emma, stop." He gritted through his teeth. She just clamped her teeth on his ear and tugged it. "Jesus, Em." He pulled her to face him. "You are drunk Emma. Let me help you." He barely got the words out before Emma's lips were on his own. He tried to protest,  to stop her, because he knew her. She  _would_ be regretting this in the morning, but her touch and taste had his mind everywhere but logistics. He melted to her touch. Her hand immediately dropping to his groin. His eyes snapped open. 

"Emma, Emma sweetie, you need to stop. You're already going to be regretting this in the morning. Don't make it worse." Emma opened her eyes, hand still firmly groping his now throbbing erection. 

"But you want to fuck me.  Or is your body lying?" She tried asking seductively. 

"Emma,  anyone touching a man's dick is going to make the man want to fuck. Don't mix this up for what it is.  You're drunk,  have had a really emotional day,  and you're being irrational.  Not to mention way too impulsive."

"Quit being a pussy, August.  You get one chance to fuck my brains out and turn it down." Emma let go of him and stumbled around until she reached the patio door.

"Let me help you." She swatted at him.

"Fuck your help, I got this." August pulled out his phone to text Ruby while Emma fought the door latch.

_A: Ruby I need help! Emma is wasted and trying to get me to fuck her. Do I let her fight her way to her room by herself or help her? I can't promise myself I won't fuck her if I help her into bed. She's had two glasses of wine, three glasses of scotch, and we smoked a bowl. I KNOW I shouldn't sleep wth her, but she's all but raped me about it._

"Aha! Got it. See, I don't need help!"

_R: oh God, August! Do you need me to come? I'll help her. Don't do anything YOU'LL regret don't worry about her. Worry about you._

Emma stumbled,  almost falling once. August grabbed her by the hips to keep her upright. Emma slapped his hands away, only to have him put them back. "I need to help you Emma, you're going to crack your skull open on my counter tops." She whirled around. 

"Will not.  I'm mad at you so don't touch me." She swatted his hands away again.  He grabbed her hands, twirling her around, acting like a human straight jacket and lifting her. He carried a growling Emma to her room and let go once inside the room. 

"You can go now?" Emma spat.

"I'm waiting for you to crawl into bed." He leaned into the door frame, arms crossed.

"Make me. I'll stand here all night." She tried mocking his stance, causing her to have a fit of laughter. He walked towards her.

"You need to be quiet. Henry is asleep." She pushed into his chest. "Stop." She did it again. 

"Get out. Get out of my room. You've made your point. I'm not even worth a fuck so get out." August ran a hand through his hair. She tried pushing him again, only to have him grab her by her wrists.  He crashed his lips into hers,  shutting the door with his foot in the process. One thing he did not want Henry to see is his mom and 'uncle' kissing. He kissed her backwards until her legs hit the bed and buckled. She had tasted better than he could have imagined.  He groaned into her mouth,  his body pressed against hers. He explored her body, his hand slipping under her shirt feeling the softness of her flesh.  He ground his hips into her, placing kisses down her neck. He cupped her breast, taking one in his mouth through the fabric of her shirt. A light snore stopped him in his tracks. He looked up to find a sleeping Emma. He kissed her head, helping her out of her pants.  Putting her legs under the blanket, he gave her a final look before leaving her room. He leaned into the door and let out a deep breath, rubbing his hands over his face.

"Shit." Was all he could mumble.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Emma was beyond wasted. She had been thinking too hard about everything, that's why she lunged on August. Face to face with a rapist again, her son meeting him, everything on top of everything. Very irrational thinking while drunk can lead to lots of regrets. And don't worry, Emma is very much going to remember this in the morning! Will have more POVs next chapter. If you like it split like this I'll keep doing different POVs :)


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Meh what the hell. I finished way quicker than I expected. I was going to hold off posting for a couple days but decided to go ahead. :D this is also the longest chapter yet!! :)

Emma awoke with a start. She smacked around on her dresser for her phone. The realization of last night coming in waves. She never talked to Killian, her phone was still in her jeans from the day before. She had no idea if he had called last night or not. The hangover pain slowly creeping in, she clamped her eyes shut rubbing her temples.

"August!" She called as quietly as she could, her voice cracking from its dryness. When August didn't come to her aid she let out a groan. she slapped her feet off the bed, one after the other. She ran her hands through her hair and popped off of the bed. She needed headache medicine and her phone. She stopped into the bathroom first, scraping her jeans off of the floor, retrieving her phone, and dropping her jeans back to the floor.

_One missed call: Killian J_

She groaned again before hitting the call button.

"Well hello love. Hard night? August said you had quite the load to drink and was out by eleven."

_Of course that's what he told him._

"Yeah, way too much to drink. Are you busy today?"

"I'm afraid so, but I should be free late in the afternoon. Why? Making time to see me?" He teased.

"Actually, yes. I need to vent. And get something off of my chest. Late this afternoon, do you mean around four?" She asked.

"That sounds about right. I'll see you then, love."

"All right then. See you later."

She threw her phone onto her bed and made her way back to the living room. August and Henry were already halfway into breakfast when she made her way to the bar.

"Did you not hear me calling you?" She asked August, avoiding his gaze.

"No I didn't. I was working on breakfast." He grabbed his coffee and took a drink. "Besides I figured you'd sleep in, after last night and all." Emma's head darted at him.

"About that, we need to discuss that later."

"You mean when I'm not around, right? Because it's about my dad isn't it?" Henry chimed in. Emma didn't know what to say so she just nodded.

"Kind of, but not directly." August added. Henry huffed, finishing his breakfast and heading back to his bedroom. August let out a sigh and rubbed his face.

"I'm sorry, Emma. That's all I can say about last night." He knew if she spoke first she'd have the upper hand. Emma plastered an angry smile.

"Sorry? That's literally all you can say to me? You got me drunk _knowing_ how I'd act. What I'd say. That was so wrong, Aug."

"Uhm, what? Yeah I got you drunk because you needed to relax. I wanted you to stop thinking about that asshole, I was _NOT_ expecting what happened. I didn't know what to do, Em. What happened was you, I tried to prevent it countless times. I really did. Do what you must, but don't blame that shit on me. Me apologizing was a courtesy towards Killian, not so much to you. I'll be taking a shower, best to leave me be in the mean time."

"August, wait." She was speaking to herself, August already in his own room. "Great, I've pissed everyone off."

"What did you do to him?" a voice behind her chimed.

"Henry, don't you have an essay to work on? It's adult business. I'll not discuss it any further with you."

 _Soon everyone will hate my guts_.

* * *

 

August was standing the shower, water beading down his back. He didn't know how to handle Emma. He grabbed his phone to text Ruby what had happened only to have her call after it sent.

"August _fucking_ Booth. What the hell were you thinking?!" Ruby's voice seemed angrier than usual when he'd done something foolish.

"I don't know, but she is pissed at me. Really, really pissed." He breathed.

"Are you in the shower?" Ruby asked. "Nevermind. So she's pissed at you. Because you were mostly sober and she was completely incapable of making the decision, am I hitting the nail on the head?"

"Yes, pretty much. But I'd had a couple beers, scotch, and pot too. I wasn't totally sober like she's making me out to be." He whined.

"Oh quit playing victim, August. You're better than that. Own up to it and get over it. She will eventually."

"I did own up to it."

"Then what are you worried about?"

August scratched his scruff. "There's no coming back from this. Things will be weird from here on out."

"August if you're just now thinking things are weird between you two, you didn't listen to a word she said last night. Take a shower, buy her a bear claw and care about how she feels about this."

"Hmm, just last night you told me to worry about me and not her. Now you're caring about how she feels. Devils advocate much?"

"Considering you didn't take my advice and you wound up with her tit in your mouth, of course. I was trying to be polite in telling you to back up off of her. We all know Emma is more loving when she's intoxicated. You knew better, but you let your dick do all the thinking. Fix it, I don't want to deal with a pissed off Emma at work." With that she hung up her line. August stood in the shower, feeling completely and helplessly screwed. He thought back to the night before, grabbed his erection, and let his thoughts entertain him.

* * *

 

Henry waited until everyone was preoccupied and crept into the living room. Grabbing August's lap top and phone, he darted back into his room. He quickly typed _Neal Gold+attorney+Boston_ to find his phone number. His search results pulled up his office in Boston, so he decided to see if he could be transferred to his office in Storybrooke. Luck was proving to be on his side as Neal's secretary was more than happy to send him a private number. With the number in hand he quickly dialed the number.

"Neal Gold."

"Uh, this is Henry. I never got your contact information, but I was wondering if you could meet this week to talk. I'd like to get to know you. I don't want my mom to know, unless you'd just like to buy me a phone for our conversations. I won't tell my mom if you do. I'd just like to get to know you. And she drank a lot last night over yesterday so I really don't want her to know."

"Henry, I'd actually love that. Is there a way you can get the phone? Being grounded and all."

"Well we eat at Granny's every day, you could leave it in the men's room, in the towel dispenser. Can you do that today? I'll convince them to go. I have to put the phone I'm on back up, I'm no even allowed to be on them. It's my uncles phone. They have no idea I'm using it. They're both preoccupied so I snuck it. If you could do that I'll get it today and text you from it." Henry knew he shouldn't be doing this, but he didn't see a problem with conversing with his own father.

"Yeah, I'll do that. It was good hearing from you again, Henry. I hope to hear from you soon. Bye."

Henry hung up the phone and quickly deleted the numbers. He already cleared the browser history and snuck back into the living room. Neither Emma nor August were back in the living room, both still in the bathrooms.

* * *

 

 Emma decided a shower would be the best thing to wipe off the guilt and regret. She knew she messed up just as much as August. She just wasn't ready to admit it. She couldn't help but think back to August's hands all over her body and the way he kissed. She felt awful about it, slightly weirded out, but also rebellious. She scrubbed her body, wiping off any remnants of the night before. She was over these mixed feelings and ready to face Killian with her wronging. She'd blame the stress, and Killian being the true gentleman would understand. Wouldn't he? She shook the thought out of her head and finished up in the shower. She left the bathroom to find Henry coming from the living room.

"Hey kid, you decide to join everybody?"

"You decide to tell me what August did to make you so mad?" He retorted. "Sorry, I think I just need Granny's for lunch. Her hot chocolate always makes things better."

"Yeah, you're right. We'll stop by there after the lunch crowd dies down. Are you still mad at me?" She asked, playing innocent.

"A little bit. I just don't understand the big deal."

"I'll explain it better in time. I just need you to trust me for now. Can you do that for me?" He nodded in response before being scooped into a hug.

"I love you Henry. That's the only reason I'm being so hard on you."

"I know, and I love you too."

"What do you say we binge watch something?" Emma smiled.

"Easy, I'm still upset over it. But I could go for some shows. Maybe you and uncle August can settle whatever feud you're having. How about this, you settle your thing and consider ours settled. But I'm gonna have to hear it from both of you that you're good though. You game?" He smirked.

"Ugh, okay. I'll fix things with August. Pick something out and I'll go talk to him." She gave his shoulder a quick squeeze before heading towards August's room. She knocked on the door and waited for him to answer. When he finally answered, he only had his towel around his waist.

"Sorry, I can wait until you get dressed. But we do need to talk. It's extremely important." He motioned for her to step in.

"I'll grab my bottoms and be out in a second." He disappeared into the bathroom, and Emma decided to look around his room. His bookshelf was full of books, and his desk was cluttered with papers. He was otherwise very organized. He reappeared a few moments later in a pair of sweat pants.

"Okay go on." He said as he approached his closet and removed a shirt. She was silent as she watched him throw his shirt on. Only when he paused and looked at her did she speak.

"Henry told me he'd forgive me for snapping if we settle our issue. Can we pretend it didn't happen? Will last night be an issue?" She knew they could never truly pretend it didn't happen, but if they could mostly put it at the back of their heads they may be okay. August watched her for a minute before sitting next to her on the bed.

"Honestly Em, I'll never be able to pretend it didn't happen. It did happen, I'm not going to be pissed at you for it. You were fucking wasted. I was wrong. Plain and simple. I wanted to resist you for this very reason, but I guess I had less control than I thought. We're good, Em. We always will be, but I can't act like it didn't happen. If I'm being honest," He paused scratching his scruff nervously. "I beat it this morning to the thought of last night." He cringed waiting for her response. When she didn't speak he continued. "I'm sorry, Emma. I'll always feel bad for last night. It shouldn't have happened. I'm willing to move past it with you." He smiled at her, unsure if he should hug her. He'd avoid her touch unless she proved ready to get back to that. She looked him in the eyes for the first time since the night before and gave him a true smile.

"Thank you, August." She stood up and walked back to the living room.

"All right, kid. Me and August are good. You can even ask him. We good?" She popped her hands on her hips.

"Yeah, but don't think I'm not going to make sure ya'll are good with him as well. I picked out Mr. Pickles. It's so funny." Emma rolled her eyes, knowing this would be one of his offensive shows.

* * *

 

August sat on his bed for several minutes after Emma left. He was completely unsure if he could act normal around all their friends and Henry. He took a deep breath and stood up. He eased into the living room to find both Henry and Emma laughing at the television. He let out a small smile before joining them.

"Ah, Mr. Pickles. Good show." He walked over to his backpack pulling out his laptop and phone. He sat on the love seat and propped his legs up. If there was one thing that took his mind from reality, it was typing. He was halfway into a short story when Henry nudged his foot.

"C'mon uncle August. We're going to Granny's for a hot chocolate."

August thought for a moment about Ruby being in and if that would make it awkward. As far as he knew, Emma didn't know Ruby knew.

"Is that right? Well let me grab some shoes and socks." He sat up and placed the laptop beside him, scrubbing his hands over his face. He really hoped Ruby wouldn't mention it to Emma. He decided the safest action was to text her and warn her.

_A: We're coming to the diner. According to Em, you DON'T know about last night._

_R: Holy awkward as fuck. Okay, color me oblivious._

He was glad Ruby would take his side when it mattered.

* * *

 

They walked into a mostly empty diner. Henry immediately excused himself to the bathroom. He darted into the bathroom, giving it a minute to make sure no one was following. He opened the paper towel dispenser to find a small phone waiting for him with an incoming text already waiting for him.

_Neal G: Henry, I hope this phone will do. It's not an IPhone, but it's all I could do with the time period I was given. I hope to hear from you soon. I just hate it has to be done this way._

Henry grinned at the message, sending a quick response before heading back out to meet his mother.

"Alright I have ordered three hot chocolates and some onion rings to go." August said when Henry adjusted himself on the bar stool.

"Does mom get to hog all the rings or did you get a family size?"

August ruffled Henry's hair, "what kind of uncle would I be if I got just Emma some?" Henry let out a snort.

"A poor one that's for sure!" Emma chimed in. Ruby handed August the bag of onion rings and sat the drinks on the counter.

"Three hot chocolates, two with cinnamon, and a family order of onion rings. Will I be seeing you tomorrow Em?"

"Oh yeah, I work from ten to seven tomorrow. I have a lot to tell you." She lowered her tone, "way too much has happened yesterday for me to even comprehend. I'll look forward to your advice!" Ruby gave her a smile and a nod.

"Sure thing. I'll give you my best." Ruby tried her hardest not to glance at August where Emma could see.

* * *

 

Emma emerged from her room in a new outfit.

"Going somewhere?" Henry asked from the sofa, Mr. Pickles still playing.

"Yeah I'm meeting up with Killian at four. Since I won't see him again for a few days, we decided to meet up." She purposely avoided August's passing look. Emma pulled out her phone to make sure they were still on. She was afraid of what may come when she tells him what she did. She just couldn't keep such a secret from him.

_E: Are we still on for today?_

_K: Without a doubt. Should I pick you up, or do you want to meet somewhere?_

_E: I think it'd be better if we met up somewhere. I'll meet you at the docks. Your ship. I'll go ahead and wait there for you. See you soon._

She threw her phone in her purse and headed out for the docks. She had an hour to figure out what she was going to say. You can say she was surprised when she pulled up to the docks to see his cruiser waiting.

"Well hello gorgeous. Fancy meeting you here." He smirked.

_Damn he's irresistible in uniform._

"I think you have that backwards. I forget how good you look in uniform!" She gave him a long kiss, afraid it may be the last chance she has at feeling his lips on her own. He cupped her face and pulled back.

"Easy love, everything okay? Here let's get on my ship and out of the cold." He grabbed her hand tugging her towards the boats and ships. They walked into the captains quarters, he pulled her into another kiss, this one displaying more passion on his end. He propped her onto the desk, placing kisses down her neck, sucking her pulse point.

"Killian, wait. As much as I'd love this I need to tell you about yesterday." She grabbed his face and pulled it from her neck.

"Sorry, love. I can't help myself when I'm around you." He chuckled. She gave him a soft, sad smile. "Is something wrong, Emma?" Playfulness removed from his voice.

"Kind of." She picked at fuzzies on her jacket. "Yesterday Henry _did_ meet Neal. When I got there I made Henry leave. Neal was still as condescending as usual, but there was a moment when he had me pinned to the door. I should have just came to your house, but I was terrified Henry would leave. I should have asked you over. Fuck."

"Emma what happened? Are you okay?" Killian's voice was full of panic, causing Emma to feel even worse.

"Henry refused to talk to me last night, or even acknowledge my existence. I was feeling every emotion under the sun. I drank so much last night. God, I don't even know how much. August offered me some pot and of course I took it. I was something else last night." She paused, pushing her hair behind her ears. "August wants me, and probably always has. I used that against him last night." She took in a deep breath, and thought about how she would word the rest of her confession.

"Emma...what did you do?" His voice already sounded defeated.

"I kissed him. I swear nothing else happened. He fought against me as long and as hard as he could. We made it as far as the bedroom and I passed out before anything could happen. He apologized this morning, to you mostly. God, Killian. I screwed up. I'm so sorry." Killian stood and walked above deck. Emma just sat on the desk, listening to him pace above deck, waiting for his return. After what felt like hours to her, she heard his steps coming back to the room.

"Emma, as much as I care about you I'm going to need some time. I don't want to cause you more stress, but I need to get my emotions in check. And I can't do that and still be with you at the time." Emma knew he would be devestated, but she wasn't prepared to start crying in front of him. She wanted to be stronger, she'd dealt with so much more than this and yet it had a huge impact. He just stood, watching her cry. He must have been prepared for her tears, because he wasn't phased by them.

"You fooled around with someone else, someone I thought you saw as a brother. You're living with him. It's just too much for me, Emma. Don't count on me being at Granny's Thursday. If something changes I have your number and address." He didn't want to come across cold, but he was hurt. He had been waiting to tell her he loved her, and now she had stomped on all those feelings before he could even express them.

"I understand, and I'm so sorry Killian. I don't know what came over me. I'm sorry I hurt you, after everything you've been through. I wish I could take it back."

"You think what I have been through is contributing to this, Emma? No, my past has nothing to do with now. You were my present and, I had hoped future, but I guess I was wrong." His words pierced like ice.

"Future?" She asked, eyes red and watery. She was looking hard into his eyes.

"Yes Emma, future. It's apparent you don't feel the same so please don't worry about it. I wanted a future with you, and Henry. Even with all the craziness in between, but cheating, cheating Emma I cannot do."

"Yet you advanced me even knowing I was an escort? Knowing I would be doing worse than kissing other men?"

"You just confessed you made it to the bed. Had you not passed out, you would have slept with him!" He was yelling now, something Emma hadn't yet witnessed. She knew she deserved it, but it still made her nervous on reflex. All she could do was cry more. "I, I...I have to go. See yourself off." He stormed out.

She walked along the deck, watching him climb in his car and pull away from the marina. She collapsed on deck and wept. She knew she would wind up hurt, she just didn't expect it to hurt so much. She allowed herself a few minutes to cry before making her way back to her car and drove to the house. She sat in the driveway, unsure if she wanted to step foot inside the place that held negative memories for her. Memories that hurt both Killian and herself. She pulled out her phone and dialed her best friend.

"Ruby, I fucked up. What time can you meet me at the bar, or your house, or anywhere but my house?"

"Emma have you been crying? I get off in a little bit. I can meet you at the bar in forty-five minutes. Don't do anything irrational!" Emma hung up the phone and cried into her steering wheel. This would be the longest forty-five minutes of her life.

* * *

 

She met Ruby at the bar and cried into her friends neck. Ruby signaled for more drinks, stroking Emma's hair as she did.

"Give him time, Emma. Truth be told he knew more than he was letting on. He used it against both August and myself." Emma sniffled, raising her head.

"What? What do you mean?" Emma wiped the tears from her eyes, fully sitting up.

"He knew you were raped long before you told him. He snooped, Em. He claimed he found them doing plain research and not by using his badge. He knew how August felt about you and he wanted to keep his knowledge secret and he would keep August's secret a secret as well. I wanted to tell you everything, Emma. And if I'm being honest with you, I knew about last night. August had messaged me about it. He really didn't want to, but years of pent up sexual tension didn't act in his favor." Emma's mind was moving too much, she felt like she was smothering. She downed her drink and threw some bills on the table. Not acknowledging Ruby had even spoke she left the bar. Her blood was boiling and she had never felt so betrayed in her life. She knew she was unstable to drive so she walked. Walked all the way to Killian's house. He wasn't home so she sat and waited. The alcohol keeping her warmer than she should have been. The longer she waited, the angrier she got. She was so angry she didn't notice the headlights coming up the driveway. Only when the car door slammed, did she come back to the present.

"Swan, what the bloody hell are you doing here?" His voice was annoyed and hurt.

"I'm here to talk about what you failed to mention to me over a week ago!" She yelled.

"Emma lower your voice, what are you talking about?" He fished his keys from his pocket and unlocked the door. Mr. Smee barking and greeting them with kisses. "Come inside out of the cold. You look like you've been here a while."

"Yeah well I thought you were off work after four so I figured you'd be here. Ruby told me everything, asshole. You make me out to be the only one in the wrong when you've been lying our entire relationship!" Her loud tone causing Mr. Smee to hide in Killian's office.

"What have I lied about?"

"You knew I was raped and acted like you had no idea about it! That was my personal business and you pried into my life. You didn't trust me enough to open up to you about it. You had no faith in me from the beginning. I'm doubting you really even care. I don't have anymore secrets to spill, I'm not fucked up enough, you just. Just..." She was breaking down again. She had told herself she wouldn't, but three drinks in and she couldn't promise herself anything at this point.

"I think you need to leave, Swan. You're acting irrational"

"Oh that's rich. Is that the only way I act to people when they want to avoid me? Irrational, that's exactly what August called me last night. Emotionally unstable, how can I be fucking stable when everyone is lying to my face?! I come clean about my wrong doings the very next day, but I'm the bad guy?! Just me?" She wanted to destroy everything in the house, and would have had it been her own home. She settled with sitting by the fireplace and sobbing into her knees.

"What was I supposed to do Emma? I couldn't very well tell you I pried now could I?"

"No, you should have had some trust in me and not pried in the first place. You're right I need to go home. You won't see the error in your way, so I should just go. She stood up, giving him a stone look and headed for his door.

"Emma let me drive you home. All I can do is apologize for snooping. I was afraid you were never going to open up to me. I'm sorry I didn't trust you, but you turned around and gave me a reason not to."

"So that's it, huh? You mess up and all is well. I apologize from the bottom of my heart and I'm the wrong one." Killian grabbed her wrist.

"It is not easy for me to walk away from you. I need to for my own mind. I'm crushed, Emma. I worried from the start that I'd have to compete with August, and what you told me proved my fears too real. I can't be second best to you."

"You were never second best Killian. You are...were my boyfriend. No one else can compete with that. I came forward with that to hopefully work through it. I want to fight for us!"

"You're going to have to prove it, because I just don't feel like you do." Emma looked to his mouth before crashing her body forward. She wanted him, all of him. Even the secretive him. She gave him everything she had, him fighting just as hard in return. He lifted her into his arms and propped her onto the counter. They kissed hungrily, and sloppy. Fighting each others mouths. She pulled her a sweater up, quickly reconnecting their mouths.

"Take me in your uniform." She breathed out. She smiled into their kiss, causing him to smile in return. He tugged at her pants leaving her in just a bra and panties. He picked her up, placing wet kisses to her chest. Making a trail with his tongue he laid her on his kitchen table. He cupped her breasts.

"Take this off." He mumbled into the lacy fabric.

"Yes officer." She giggled, arching her back to unclasp it, pressing into his face even farther. With the fabric loose he tossed it across his kitchen. He unzipped his pants, his cock springing out of the hole.

"Look at what you do to me. You're so fucking beautiful, Emma. Especially when you're pissed at me." He yanked her underwear off to reveal a very ready Emma. "Always so fucking wet too." He pressed his tongue to her sopped lips before leveling himself up with her. Without warning he slammed into her, stretching her in one swift move. She looked up at him in his uniform and came undone. Clamping around him before they'd even begun. Her back arched, and she let out a raspy, loud moan.

"Bloody marvel. " He groaned into her collarbone. He scooped her up and stood her facing away from him. "Pop your ass out." He commanded. She did as she was told, him dropping to his knees. Within seconds his tongue was fully inside of her. She let out a gasp, popping her ass even farther back as to give him better access. He circled her clit while flicking his tongue all inside of her. Her legs were weak and buckled. He removed his tongue, immediately replacing it with his cock. He wanted her to come more undone than she ever had before. He ground into her, holding her up by the hips. She was gasping.

"What is it, love? He breathed, not fully stopping.

"Fuck my ass." She breathed. His motion completely stopping.

"Are you sure that's what you want?" He asked a little worried. She circled her hips around his length causing him to let out a moan. "As you wish." He pumped into a few times, making sure she was leaking around his dick. He moistened his fingers with her cum and lightly ran circles around her asshole, slowly slipping a finger inside. While still pumping his dick he pumped his finger to the same pace, slowly adding a second finger until he had three in. He wanted to make sure he didn't hurt her. He didn't know how Neal raped her and he didn't want to help her relive that in any way. Once he had three fingers inside he slowly pumped before slipping out of her. Circling her clit with his thumb he slowly eased into her.

"Look at me, love." When she turned, he met her mouth with his own, easing down to the hilt. Her gasping into his mouth. He gave her a moment to adjust, slowly pumping. Speeding up ever so slightly until he was pounding into her ass as well. He broke the kiss, throwing his head back.

"I'm really close, God its so fucking tight." He gasped out. Emma gasped herself before coming again. Her sphincter muscle pinching down on his dick. A few moments later he was spilling himself inside of her. He nibbled down her back and eased himself out. "How about a shower? This uniform is so hot." She turned to face him, sitting on the table.

"Can we just kiss for a moment?"

"I'd love to, but you're going to be leaking my jizz all over my table in just a few moments. I'd like to take you again in my shower if possible. If you're up to it. This time I'd like to fuck your other hole." He kissed her naked form before throwing her over his shoulder. She let out a squeal but didn't fight him.

They lay in his bed after a long shower and another round.

"Are you staying the night?" He asked. "I know it's only eight but I thought I'd ask. Have you even had dinner?" She shook her head.

"I can't stay the night. I work in the morning." She sighed. She felt his breath tighten. "Are you upset because I live with August? Is that why you want me here as long as possible? Nothing is going to happen with us. I promise you, not again." She cupped his cheek.

"No, I trust you."

"What is it? " She asked. "You seem off. You seemed off during that last round." She sat up on one elbow.

"I just..." He started but stopped. "Nothing. Not the right time." He smiled at her. "How long can you stay?" She frowned at him.

"I should probably start getting ready to head back." He all but saw her walls going back up. She was pulling away and it was his fault. He couldn't help but worry any push at her would push her closer to August.

"Emma darling, please don't leave upset at me. I don't want to push you away, please don't think that's what I'm doing." She sat up and scanned the room for any of her clothes before remembering they were all still in the kitchen. She stood and left Killian alone and naked. She returned mostly dressed.

"I know you're not pushing me, you've got another secret you're not ready to reveal. This is me being understanding and not prying." Her words coming out harsher than she intended.

"I apologized for that. Don't throw that out every time you disagree with my choices." He sat up, suddenly aware of his nakedness and vulnerability. "Please dont leave angry." He stood and walked over to her, grabbing at her arms. She gave him a hug.

"I'm not mad, just discouraged. I'll talk to you tomorrow." She gave him a soft kiss and finished getting her shoes on. She shot Ruby a message with no response. She had left Ruby on such bad terms she knew she had to make it right. She stopped at the liquor store and bought Ruby her favorite alcohol. She was pleased with how things were going she barely pulled into the driveway before hopping out. She gave the alcohol a once over before knocking on the door. She heard music blasting through the door.

_Looks like Ruby is cleaning again._

Emma laughed to herself before opening the door. Immediately regretting her decision to just waltz in. Emma stood in shock at the sight of a very naked, sweaty Ruby being taken from behind by a very naked, even more sweaty August.


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if I mess up any legal terms and processes, I work solely from what Google feeds me when it comes to that kind of thing. I'm trying though :) sorry for the delay. My brothers house burned down so we've had 3 more babies in the house to care for so it's taken me a while to update. It may be 2-3 weeks per update until tax time most likely :) love the kudos and comments and always look forward to them

She would have closed the door, would have darted at the first chance had she not dropped the alcohol she was carrying. Two heads snapped in her direction. August yanked out of Ruby and grabbed the nearest couch pillow, covering himself.

"Emma!" Ruby gasped. Emma's eyes were locked on the pool of alcohol spreading along the hardwood.

"Sorry, really sorry. I needed some girl time. I'll let you two get dressed, but where the _hell_ is my son?" She wanted to display her anger, but couldn't bring herself to look up. She heard Ruby shuffling around and grabbing clothes from behind the furniture.

"He's next door at Granny's drinking hot chocolate. I asked Granny to keep a really close eye on him." August chimed.

"I swear August, can you ever think with the brain in your head? Henry's _father_ is in town and you're leaving him first chance to get your dick wet. What does that say?" Ruby approached Emma with a towel, squatting down to blot the spot. Emma looked at her now clothed friend with pure frustration in her eyes. Ruby mouthed a sorry.

"It doesn't _say_ anything. It _looks_ like I don't care though. You know me better than that though, Em. I care about Henry, Granny is watching him. She knows about what's going on. I think she's more than trustworthy to keep an eye on him." Emma looked up at August, a look of frustration still present in her expression.

"I didn't entrust Granny to keep tabs on him either."

"Right, you just left. Not giving me a choice in whether or not I wanted to watch him. Didn't even ask me if I had plans. Just throwing parental responsibility on me." August grabbed his coat and walked to the door, stopping as he reached Emma.

"Don't worry, I'll take him back home so you can get some girl time and yet again _not_ spend any time with your son." He mumbled in her ear. August squeezed past her, shutting the door. The silence of the room was smothering her. A chill ran down her spine.

"Emma, sit down. What's going on? Why did you come by?" Ruby's words brought her back to the room.

"I wanted to talk. It's a bad time though, and I destroyed the alcohol I brought with me." She looked back to the floor. August's words replaying in her head. She felt herself getting emotional again.

"Emma, you know I have alcohol. What's wrong?" Ruby grabbed Emma's hand and led her to the kitchen table.

"Is he right?"

"Who?" August?"

"Yeah, am I a bad mom for not spending more time with Henry?"

"God, no. You're a great mom. August was just embarassed. You know he doesn't mind tending to Henry. We need to quit having this discussion on whether you're a good mom or not. So, what did you originally come over for?" Ruby gave her a smile, hoping for one in return.

"I stopped at Killian's. I confronted him about it. I wouldn't say we are back to normal, but we are getting somewhere. I'm really glad you told me though. I need to feel _someone_ is on my side. Even though you did keep it from me for a little while. I am still scarred over what I just witnessed."

"You know I was only doing that for him though. You know my preference. How about a drink?"

* * *

 

Henry sat at the diner, in a booth towards the back. He watched Granny before pulling out the phone Neal had given him.

_H: Hey, I got a moment alone. Mom is at her boyfriends and my uncle is visiting our friend. What is your favorite color?_

Henry hid the phone behind his jacket and waited for a response. The small vibrate came immediately. Henry was glad his father seemed to really want to get to know him.

_N: Good evening Henry. Is your mom away from you often? How rare is it both your mom and uncle are away? My favorite color is green. What about yours?_

_H: Mom works a lot so I guess pretty often. Uncle August hardly ever, but he only just got back into town this month. He was away for a year this last time. He writes articles in magazines. He's really smart. My favorite color is red. Are you working right now? What are you doing for thanksgiving?_

_N: My you have a lot of questions. Sounds like you have a busy house. I don't have plans for Thanksgiving. My father isn't from America so we never celebrated it. I am currently at work, just trying to settle this case._

_H: Where was he from? Sorry for all the questions. I just really want to get to know you. What's your case about? Or can you not discuss it?_

_N: Lol, yeah I actually can't discuss the case, but it has to do with money. And my father was from Scotland. I don't have the accent because my parents came here when my mother was pregnant with me. My mother was Irish._

_H: Like Killian then. Mom's boyfriend was from overseas too. Are your parents still alive?_

_N: My father i_ _s, but my mother passed when I was a little younger than you._

"Henry, it's time to go home." August's voice pulled him from the phone. "Where did you get that? Give it to me." Henry looked up at August and shook his head.

"I can't. It's not mine to give you."

"Where did you get that Henry? Answer me or you'll have your mother to answer to." August held out his hand. "Now." Henry shook his head again. August pulled out his phone and dialed Emma.

"What?" Came from the phone.

"Henry has a phone. I'm sure you can guess where he got it from. He won't give it to me."

"Seriously? He's a kid. Just take it." August snatched the phone from Henry's grip and opened the messages once the call log came up empty. "Shit, Em. You need to come to the diner."

* * *

 

Emma walked into the diner.

"What is it?" She asked as she approached the two guys.

"He won't say where he got it." August said, handing the phone to Emma. "They've only been talking today but there's a lot of texts." Emma grabbed the phone and read the messages, not stopping until she had read every last one. She let out a long breath and looked at Henry.

"Henry what were you thinking?! What have I told you about him?"

"Nothing. Nothing except that he was bad. He seems like a good guy now. I thought you believed in giving people second chances?"

"Henry he is no different! I saw him just at that party and he was the exact same vile human he was then. He wants you to think he's changed. He hasn't."

"Until you can tell me everything I'd like the phone back." He said flatly, unphased by his mother's anger. Emma narrowed her eyes at him.

"Fine, but not here. Let's go home so you can learn everything vile about your father." She snatched his backpack and tugged at his arm. August gave her a look, she just released a sigh in response.

* * *

 

Emma told Henry everything she knew about Neal and all the bad that he had done. Henry shook his head in disbelief.

"No, no. I need to talk to him. You're lying."

"Why do you think he didn't know about you Henry? Why else would I despise him so much? Yes, he gave me you, but he is not a good man at all. And he acted the exact same the night of the party that he did all those years ago." Henry ran to his room and slammed the door.

"You did right telling him, Em. He just needs time to process it now." August tried placing his hand on Emma's back, only to have her move away.

"Just, don't touch me right now. After the night I've had I need to not be touched." She stood, pulling her phone and Henry's from her pocket. She dialed Neal's number from her phone and waited for a response.

"Judging by the area code I'm going to guess this is Emma?" He asked without waiting for a hello.

"What the hell were you thinking?! I told you not to contact my son or come near him again. Do you _want_ to go to court over this?"

"Good evening to you too, Em. As I told you in my office, I will not push him away and I wouldn't be telling you if he came to me. Do you think me a liar? Though I didn't _actually_ come in contact with him a second time. With you keeping tabs on him and all. For all I know though, he's August's kid. Isn't he the one you stayed with after our rift?" She could hear the grin on his face.

"Nice try, he knows you're a rapist and tried to kill his mother. I think it's safe to assume he's aware of your character now." She could feel the smile drop from his face.

"Why would you dare even tell him that?"

"Uh, maybe because he's a product of rape and needed to know before getting himself involved with you. Are you seriously upset I told him the truth? Be upset at yourself. Prove you can change for him. Until then do not contact either of us again."

"How am I supposed to prove that when I can't have any contact? You can't take my son away from me. If we have to go through the courts so be it. See your ass there." With that he hung up. Emma's stomach knotted.

_How can he just waltz back in and ruin everything like always._

She pulled her phone out to call the one legal person she's known since the rape.

"Regina, I need your help. Neal is trying to come back in my life and I'm going to need a lawyer."

"Emma? It's been years since I've spoken with you! I'd ask how you are, but apparently bad. Are you still living in the same town?"

"Yeah, he came to town to work a case and he found out about Henry and now he's wanting custodian rights."

"Wait, so that means he's going to admit to raping you? And working a case. I'm guessing he's a lawyer now? Probably defends scum like himself."

"I think he's going to work around the rape somehow. He's incredibly sneaky. And yeah, he's a lawyer now. He's extremely well off, Regina. Like rich. Will that work in his favor?"

"Look I'll fly there tomorrow. I don't live in Boston anymore but San Fran. I'll be there some time tomorrow evening. We'll talk about everything then. I'll see you then." Emma hung up the phone feeling no better about the situation than she had before she called Regina. The one thing about Regina was she was mean, and a fighter. She had fought for Emma's case against Neal years ago, but had very little experience at the time. Now she had over a decade under her belt. She hoped this time would be different. She decided Killian needed filled in so she dialed him next. Wanting to meet up for breakfast to discuss it more. She would be alerting Granny and Ruby about it then. Thanksgiving was just days away and things were already not going as planned.

* * *

 

She met Killian at the diner at eight, the stress not alleviated in the least.

"Good morning, beautiful." He smiled as he greeted her. His smile dropping as her expression seemed worried. "Everything all right?" He touched her elbow and walked her inside the diner.

"Henry knows the truth about Neal. Neal is pissed and wanting to proceed with court to get some form of custody or rights or something. I'm not sure, but I've contacted my lawyer and she's flying down today. I'm just a mess." The words came out so fast Killian had trouble keeping up. When she finished repeating herself Killian ran his hand through his hair.

"So, he's been absent all this time, denied ever raping you, going as far as having your rape kit destroyed, and is now saying he's fathered your child. How can he get out of it being proven he did rape you? When you took him to court was he charged with rape _and_ attempted murder?"

"Yes, which is exactly how. He can't be charged twice for the same crime. That's why I'm worried he will get partial custody. I don't know what to do. I feel he would have done this eventually but him knowing Henry knows the truth may make him vicious."

"Does everyone close to you know this?"

"No, just you and August. And my lawyer. I'm telling Granny, Ruby, and Mary Margaret today. I'm taking the rest of the week off to sort through all this."

"Sort through what?" Ruby asked as she approached the pair.

"Neal. He's taking me to court over Henry. I'm taking the week to consult with my lawyer and get a plan in action. My lawyer will actually be staying here until we get something in motion. She's too professional to want to stay at my place."

"Oh my God, when did this happen?!"

"Last night when August called me about the phone Henry had."

"I'll let Granny know. Usuals?" The pair nodded at her and watched her walk off.

"You've got this, love. You're a fighter as well. I'll be right here for you. So the phone was given to Henry by Neal. Neal said he hadn't made contact a second time. So that means there was a drop off location. Any ideas?" Emma nodded, expanding her arms to display the room they were in. "Here? Wouldn't that be too open?"

"Bathroom or hallway is always empty. Aside from a few people here and there. Here is perfect because we come here every day." Killian shook his head in disbelief.

"You have a real criminal on your hands. Sneaky kid." He chuckled. "I promise I'm not making light of this. Just shocked at his cleverness." Ruby reappeared with their food and drinks.

"I informed Granny. She said take your time. Henry is all of our concern so she understands. You guys are family."

"Oh I know." Emma rolled her eye, giving Ruby a playful smile. Ruby shushed her before walking away with a giggle.

"Okay, what was _that_ about?" Killian asked, eyebrow raised.

"After I left your place last night I swung by her place and walked in on quite a scene. One between her and August. A lot of bare flesh. It was disturbing to say the least. August left after I chewed him out over leaving Henry and that's when the phone stuff started." Killian gave her a look before letting out a small chuckle.

"I mean it's not the first time I've seen either of them naked, but in such a position it was. They're both two people you don't want to get plastered. Ruby alone is too much. Anyways enough about all this, how's work been?" She smiled at him. "I like that you're in uniform this morning."

"Oh I know." He grinned, giving her a smoldering look. "But about that...I'm fixing to have to head into work. I really hate to dine and dash so to speak, but I'll catch you this evening, aye?"

"Aye, aye." She teased. He pulled money from his wallet and placed it on the table.

"This should cover breakfast. Don't forget me Swan. I'd like to know what your lawyer friend has to say tonight. I want to be there with you if you'll let me." She grabbed his hand and leaned in to kiss him.

"Promise. I'll see you tonight around seven." He gave her a slow, yet simple kiss before leaving. Emma sat alone for several minutes before grabbing her purse and heading back towards their home. She was ready for Regina to be in town, but had only gotten a text at six saying she was getting a flight for nine. Said it was the earliest flight. She decided she'd just message Mary Margaret the big news, hoping she wouldn't mind the manner in which she was informed. Mary Margaret of course didn't mind, but also seemed terrified of what was to come. She walked into the house and fell into the couch.

"Tough morning? I know your mind is racing. Frankly mine is too. I'm really concerned for Henry. He hasn't woke up yet, but I feel he may take this news extremely hard." August spoke from the kitchen, from behind his coffee cup. "Want a cup?" He asked, not waiting for a reply before fixing her a cup.

"Can life get any harder? I can't catch a break. I feel like I'm drowning in bad shit. I need a vacation." She chuckled before burying her head in a couch pillow.

"Oh boy, you're at that stage."

"What?" She asked, lifting her head for a brief moment.

"The humor. Laughing about it. That means you're going to be around me for the crying stage. And last I checked you didn't want me comforting you." He said dryly.

"Mom needs comforting? Why won't you let him mom? He's always been our comforter." Henry asked with a yawn. Emma slapped her forehead.

"I never told him I didn't want him to. Aside from that, if I didn't, it'd be because of something between us not you. And I'm just feeling extremely down kid. To be honest, Neal is going to move forward with fighting me on custody rights." Henry stood with a blank expression.

"Did he say why? Was it because he's gotten to know me some?"

"Because he's a jerk. He's doing it to lash at me because I told him I told you about what he did. He got really pissed. I have a friend who is a lawyer who helped me back when what I told you happened. She and your uncle were my rocks. She's flying down to help me with all of this so the house will have a new face popping in and out. Killian will be by later too."

"Really?! Awesome. I'm glad he will be here for you too. I got caught up in trying to get to know my dad I didn't even know if you and him were still okay."

"Why wouldn't we be?" Emma laughed. Henry looked at August and back at his mother.

"Because when things get really rough with your personal life, anyone you get involved with disappears. I don't like saying anything because I feel it may be sensitive but it's how it's always been. I really like Killian so I've kind of been avoiding him, just in case." Henry's confession unsettled Emma.

"God Henry! I'm sorry you're feeling that way. Me and Killian are really good though kid. If you want to spend time with him just ask him." Henry smiled at his mom and looked at August.

"About breakfast?"

"Henry."

"Yeah?"

"It's okay to feel a certain way about this Neal thing too." Emma furrowed her brows at him.

"I don't really know how I feel about it. I'm really torn. I need time to really think about this." He shrugged.

"Understandable I guess. Think we can have a day together to just watch TV or play video games?" She knew she needed time with him, but felt she would be seeing even less of him before too long. The thought churned her stomach and filled her with too many depressive emotions.

"Definitely!" He lit up. He looked back at August before August finally got to work on his breakfast.

* * *

 

It was 4 pm before Emma noticed the time. Her and Henry had been playing video games the majority of the time. August watched in amazement at how well Emma kept up with Henry. She would be expecting Regina in just a couple hours. Knowing the time has her anxious for her friends arrival. Her stomach was doing flips the closer to six it got.

As six approached, Emma sat impatiently by her phone. Henry and August just sat and watched her through her anxiety.

"Mom, are you okay?" Henry finally asked. Emma looked up at him and tried to smile.

"Just nervous, kid. I'm hoping she can really help right now." Just as she finished speaking her phone lit up. Emma grabbed the phone and hit answer before the ring tone had a chance to play.

"Regina, was your flight okay?"

"Hey Emma, yeah everything went fine. I'm on my way now. I should be there by seven. I didn't realize so many people needed to come to Maine. I'll see you soon." Her friend hung up first this time. Emma breathed a sigh of relief, Regina was in Maine and would be at her house in just an hour. She decided to start some cooking. Technically she asked August to start a meal, but she picked out what they'd eat. She figured helping with dinner would keep her mind busy.

Seven rolled around, Emma's phone lit up with an incoming text. She quickly grabbed the phone and opened the message.

_K: Hey love, hope you're not too stressed. I may be a tad late tonight. Work doesn't seem to grasp the importance of everything. I'm trying to get off work now. I hope to see you soon._

Emma let out a sigh of disappointment before her phone lit up again. She answered the phone and gave her friend her address with mini directions so she wouldn't have to use gps. It was 7:30 when her friend pulled into the driveway. Another car right behind her. Emma smiled knowing both of them had made it. She knew Killian didn't want to miss anything, but wasn't sure she would be able to not start without him. She opened the door and smiled at them both. Regina gave the car behind her a disapproving look before looking at Emma.

"Based on your smile I'm assuming you were expecting the person that pulled in behind me?"

"Yes, and my smile was towards both of you. Come on in, have a seat." Killian opened his car door and eased out himself. The look Regina had given him would have killed if looks had the power. He approached Emma with a cheesy smile and handed her a bouquet of flowers

"You didn't have to." She said with a blush. "And in your uniform! You're killing me."

"I know, but I wanted to. Plus you've got a lot going on right now. And I've not been the easiest to get along with. Plus from yesterday " He gave her a wink. She ushered him inside and offered the two a seat.

"Sorry for the delay. I got a little lost. With it getting dark so early I couldn't read street signs very well. Is Henry in his room?" Regina asked.

"Yeah, I wasn't sure what all we would discuss and so I wasn't sure if him hearing it all would be best. He knows the basics but I kept specifics out."

"Hello August, good to see you again. It's been quite a while. You don't look to have aged at all." Regina smiled. The compliment making him blush slightly.

"And you're lovely as always."

"Oh sorry, Regina this is my boyfriend, Killian. Killian this is Regina, obviously." Emma smiled. Regina smiled at Killian, giving him a kinder look this time.

"Pleasure meeting you." Killian smiled, offering his hand. She wasn't expecting the kiss to her knuckle as she did. She gave Emma a look and Emma just giggled in response.

"Anyways let's get to some work shall we." Regina said, clearing her throat. "What do you know about him up to this point?"

Emma sat down. "Not a whole lot. I found his website so I can get the information off of that. I know he is rich, who his dad is, what he does. I don't know if he's ever been married or if he has any other kids. Judging by how he talks though, I highly doubt he's ever convinced anyone to marry him."

"Okay, well give me his name and website and I will get to work on all of that. I'll jot down some statements and questions and I'll be back here first thing in the morning if that's okay? Unless you want me to stay here while I do all of that."

"No you're fine. I'm sure you're really tired flying and the time difference. Just having you in town eases my mind a lot. I don't feel so anxious."

"Are you sure? I feel really bad just asking for things I could have called you to ask you for. I really don't mind staying if you want. I see you've made dinner? I'd love to see Henry as well. Since he was still in your belly when I last heard about him. You know I'm honored you chose Henry."

"I told you I would. And yeah we made some dinner. I wasn't sure how long you'd be here and I already invited Killian. I'd love for you to stay for dinner. I'll go get Henry."

* * *

 

Emma came from the hallway with a curious Henry.

"Henry this is a really good friend of mine. Her name is-"

"Regina, I remember you mentioning her before when we would talk about my name. It's good to finally meet you Ms. Regina." Henry beamed.

"Likewise. I'm sorry we haven't met before now."

"Here let's make our way to the table and I'll get us some drinks. Would you like some wine Regina?" Emma asked.

"Yes please. I haven't drank in a while so only one glass will be fine, thank you." Emma filled three glasses and headed back to the table.

"Henry I didn't know what you wanted so you'll have to get your own."

"So Emma how long have you two been together?"

Emma looked at Killian and back at her friend.

"A few weeks. Not too long."

"She played hard to get too." Killian gave her a playful wink.

"I can't understand how anyone can play hard to get when an English man is flirting with them." She scoffed.

"You may like to meet one of my good friends then if accents are your thing." He wiggled his brows at Regina before letting out a low laugh.

"I haven't dated since my fiancé passed over a decade ago." She said flatly. Killian's expression immediately fell. They made light banter over dinner and finally decided to say their good night's at nine.

"I'm so glad you're in town Regina. Swing by tomorrow and we will go over this more. I've taken the week off so I'm free whenever. Will you be flying home Wednesday to have dinner with your family?"

"Hell no. I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my family in years " Regina laughed, "I'll see you tomorrow Emma. Try and get some sleep." She hugged Emma before heading to her car. Killian slipped his hands around Emma's waist and nestled his nose into the crook of her neck.

"Do you want me to stay a while? I don't mind." He kissed her neck causing her to close her eyes.

"I'd love for you to, but I am going to try and get some sleep tonight. This week is going to be super crazy so I need some sleep. You can stay over tomorrow night if you want though." She twisted in his grip to face him. He lifted her chin and made a brief contact with her mouth flush against his.

"I'll see you tomorrow evening then, gorgeous." He gave her a final peck and headed out of the open door towards his own car.

"Don't go changing plans on me though, Swan." He flashed her a grin before backing out of her driveway. This week was sure to be the death of her. She shut the door and headed to her own room. Sleep was anxiously waiting for her.


	16. Chapter 16

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so so sorry this has taken forever to post. December was full of birthdays and Christmas, and we have lost 3 family members the first 2 weeks of January. And another family members brain cancer has returned. I've been trying to type this chapter since mid December to no avail, but I finally finished it! Also looking for anyone who would be up to drawing some Killian in uniform. I draw, but not sure I could draw that up. I hope for chapter is worth the wait! Love feedback and kudos! Much love for everyone who's stuck with this fic through the rough, choppy beginning! <3

Emma awoke feeling more confident than she had gone to bed feeling. She checked the time, eight thirty. She stretched under the confines of her sheets before letting out a low growl.

"It's too early!" She crammed her head into the pillow. A rap at the door caused her to raise her head.

"Emma?" August asked, slowly opening the door.

"Mmm?"

"I wasn't sure what time Regina would be back by so I wanted to make sure you would be awake early enough. You know, just in case she's here early."

"Yeah, I'm up. I was just fixing to head towards the kitchen. Is there coffee already made?" She sat up scrubbing her eyes before slowly putting her contacts in.

"Yeah. There's a full pot in there. I'm gonna go for a run so I don't need any. You and Regina can have at it. Do you want me to swing by and grab Henry for lunch or...?"

"Yeah, that will be fine. He may be up to some running himself. He mentioned wanting to start exercising. I think he's wanting to do it for a girl, but he says they're getting sword fighting in school so that may be why too." She shuffled in her closet, throwing a pair of jeans and a tee out onto the bed before making her way to her dresser. She pulled underwear, a bra, and her socks out and gathered the clothes.

"I'm gonna take a shower. Don't lock the door. I'm gonna text Regina to just come on in if she's here before I get out." She brushed past him, making sure not to make physical contact. It was still too weird for her, she was secretly glad he was making a point to stay out of the same room as her. She quickly shot Regina a text that anytime now would be fine, she was just showering first and the door would be unlocked. Regina chimed back how unsafe that was given everything, but Emma just rolled her eyes at it. She was done being scared of Neal. She needed to take charge of her life. It was time to hit him where it hurt.

She showered quickly, the words of Regina slightly getting to her. When she emerged from the bathroom, Regina still hadn't made it. She texted Killian a simple good morning, attaching a few seductive pics she had taken with it. Adding a wink face and promises along with them. She decided to go ahead and drink some coffee and see what the local newspaper had in it, in other words reading the comics. Halfway into her cup she heard a knock, followed by the door slowly opening.

"Emma." Regina's voice called.

"Hey, I'm just at the table. Henry is still asleep. He tends to sleep until ten during school breaks and weekends. Want some coffee? August had just made it before I texted you."

"Not at the moment thanks." She approached the table, withdrawing a laptop from a case. "I did find out a few things about Neal last night. Apparently he's a damn good defense attorney. He had been engaged, but she broke it off four months ago. Found a trace to her having gone to an abortion clinic. He has been living in Boston since before you knew him.

"Has never moved from the city. He started law school a year and a half after your rape. Let's see." She spoke without pause, not wanting to give Emma a chance to freak out just yet. "His college was fully funded from Robert Gold, if you didn't already suspect that. He has quite a bit of money himself now. His father owns quite a few business in Boston. Neal is worth $750,000.00 as of this year, and his worth is expected to reach a million by summer.

" That's about all I got last night. I'm trying to find dirt on him, but he didn't really date anyone besides the woman he was engaged to. Tamara Williams is her name. I can try to contact her if you want me to. I don't know if she will want to talk to us, but it doesn't hurt to try."

Emma gave her a nod, "it is our best chance at the moment. So financially I can't compete, I have maybe fifty dollars in my bank account." She sighed, swirling her coffee cup in circles.

"Money isn't the most important thing with custody battles. If you have space, food, shelter, clothes, and aren't abusing him there's no way he will get full custody. You can fight him on the rape, but it will be dismissed since it wasn't proven in court. You have to prove him unfit for him to not gain some form of custody. I'm sorry, Emma." Emma let out a sigh. She knew full custody was not going to happen, but hearing it out loud made it real.

"There is more. I did receive a call from his lawyer and he is going forward with this custody issue. I will be receiving a call in a few days with a date. It's a big step, but I think everything will go fairly smooth. Since I'm in town do you want to do anything?" Regina smiled. Emma knew this move. Her attempt at destressing her, it was Regina's signature move. Emma looked at her phone that was face down on the table.

"Actually, I was going to try and meet Killian for lunch." Emma avoided meeting Regina's eyes, a smile playing on her lips. Regina gave a wicked smile.

"So you guys _are_ serious!" Regina slapped Emma's arm, causing her to jump.

"I don't know. There's a lot of history and I just don't know. I mean I really like him sure, but I've never been in a nontoxic relationship so It's new."

"Have either of you said the 'L' word?" Emma's eyes shot at her friend.

"Hell no! We've only been together like a month!" Regina threw her hands up in surrender.

"Just thought I'd ask because at least his eyes scream adoration for you. Wondered if the feelings were mutual."

"He does not!" She denied. In fact, she hadn't even thought about getting serious. She most definitely hadn't noticed adoration. Her mind rushing back to the way he'd looked at her just two nights before. She shook the thought out of her head. "He doesn't, he can't." The front door opened, pulling them from their conversation. August rushed in, giving a brief wave, before heading towards his room.

"Wake Henry, I'll be ready in twenty for lunch." Emma excused herself to wake Henry. When she returned to the table she was met with a smile.

"Well, I'm taking that as my cue to go find something to do in this ridiculous town."

"Just make sure you're back when we decide on when to call Tamara. Set this whole thing up." Regina nodded to Emma before heading out the door. She decided to finally message Killian about lunch.

_E: Hey, so are you busy for lunch?_

_K: Well good afternoon, sorry I didn't respond to your earlier messages. They've kept me quite entertained. About lunch, what time? Wanting to meet me for a bite?_

She knew his message was an innuendo, but damn it if it didn't make her smile.

_E: more than a bite ;) but in seriousness yeah. I miss you and I feel bad about the other night still....and last night. I really wish you could have stayed. Lunch as in fifteen minutes from now._

_K: I will try. I'll meet you at Granny's if I can, if I can't, I will call._

_E: Not Grannys. What about M's pizza. August and Henry will be at Granny's for lunch and I want to at least get away for a little bit._

_K: We will see. talk to you soon, love. xoxo_

Emma smiled like a child at her phone before getting ready for her lunch date.

* * *

 

_I'm fine, he just said he needs a little more time. That he IS meeting for lunch so he's not bailing. You are not the worst girlfriend ever._

Emma sighed. Stalling lunch for thirty minutes shouldn't feel so upsetting. The fact that he was still on for lunch meant _something_. She decided to go ahead to the pizza parlor and reserve them seats. After what felt like forever in her mind, Killian walked through the door. In that damn uniform. She couldn't help her smile touching her eyes when they made eye contact.

"Good afternoon, love." He spoke softly, placing a kiss to her cheek in true gentleman like behavior.

"Busy day?"She asked, trying not to come off desperate. He let out a sigh and gave her a half smile.

"Just a bit, I only have forty-five minutes to spare unfortunately." Emma looked around. She'd never been in public with a cop(besides Granny's and the ball) when there wasn't legal matters to discuss. She kind of enjoyed the safety she felt being with him in public. They discussed everything Regina had said and what they would be doing next. He gave her encouraging words before walking towards the car.

"So you're still coming over later right? You won't be too tired after a busy day?"

"Aye, I'll be at your house as soon as I get off work. I'm never too tired for my Lady Swan." He caressed her cheek with the pad of his thumb, before cupping her chin and pulling her forward. The kiss he'd been wanting to give her had finally come. It was more sensual than any other kiss he'd given her, and that frightened her. Thoughts of Regina's words flooding her mind again.

_Love_

"See you tonight."

She decided to go for a run. The thought of him loving her distracting her from the sore muscles she was causing herself. The more she thought on it the faster she ran. She ran for an hour, suddenly aware of the throbbing in her legs. She slowed to a jog, panting erratically. She just needed to make it home and she could crash. She didn't notice the slowing car behind her until the driver called out to her.

"Do you need a lift?"

The voice rippled through her. She turned her head towards him, not slowing her pace.

"Hell no, I'm fine."

"No you're not. You look like you're about to fall out into traffic. It's the least I can do for the mother of my child and all." She continued her pace. "Look if you're worried I'll find out where you live, I could just as easily follow you. I'm trying to be nice."

Emma stopped.

"You're not trying to be nice, you're trying to look good. No one is going to fall for that bullshit so just stop while you're ahead."

"I hate to break it to you, but the wellbeing of my child's primary caregiver is important." She looked around and shot Regina and August a text letting them know who she was with. She wasn't going to risk anything this time.

"Okay, but two people know I'm with you and that you're bringing me home. No funny business."She climbed into the SUV and folded her arms.

"I'm not, but why were you running? You don't run unless you're being chased by police." He chuckled. "Guess that's not really an issue anymore since you've got your own cop. Tell me how you've been."

"Or, we can just keep this ride quiet. I'd much prefer it. My business doesn't concern you. As long as it doesn't affect Henry, it is not your place." Neal let out a laugh.

"Damn it, Em. You're really the exact same person you were back then. I love it."

"I'm an adult, Neal. Not a child, so no I'm not exactly who I was when you knew me." She refused eye contact, remembering just how terrifying his eyes were all those years ago.

"How long have you and the cop been together anyways?" He pried. She ignored his question.

"Next road take a right."

"Is he in Henry's life? Is Henry aware of him? I'm only asking for Henry's sake. I don't care otherwise. I just want to make sure Henry isn't constantly being let down by male roles in your life." He said flatly, making the right turn.

"Henry is very much aware of him. He adores Henry and Henry really likes him. Killian wouldn't let Henry down, even if it meant his life. So don't worry about my life, I'm not prying into your love life." She lied. He read her like a book.

"Yes you are. Rest assured, Henry won't be calling another woman mommy while he's with me." Mockery was lacing his voice.

"Can you ever be a decent human being? Like ever?" She mumbled. "Oh I forget you're a rapist and possibly a murderer. Of course you can't be a decent person." She noticed his grip tightening on the steering wheel, as well as on his thigh. She smirked to herself.

"Ah, I forget you can change but there's no way I can." He gritted through his teeth.

"You can't, it's not possible. A rapists brain, a murderers brain, they're all different than civilized human beings. Monsters of the human world if you will."

"Emma, that's a crock of shit. I'm no boogey man-"

"Are to me." She cut him off. "I don't want you around Henry, because you could make him just like you. You'll influence him with this 'I deserve everything and if I don't get it I'll just take it' bullshit mindset. I don't want that."

"You have no idea the shit I went through before or after you came along, but I wouldn't do that to Henry. I've said it before and I'll say it again, I only want what's best for Henry. I just want to be in his life."

"Next left, house is at the end. Your sob story means nothing to me, Neal. I'm going to continue with this custody battle and I'm going to make sure you get the bare minimum when it comes to Henry. You didn't even deserve to meet him."

"Maybe so, but I don't think either of us should have a say when it comes to what he wants. He wanted to meet me so he did. He's a teenager and if he's like either of us, he's going to defy authority and do whatever the hell he wants anyways." He pulled into the driveway, Regina stepping out of the house, August right behind her.

"See you in court, Em. Like I said, I can be a decent person. Maybe a shitty man, but I'll be a damn fine dad." She sighed, pulling herself from his vehicle. Regina was the first to wrap Emma in a hug. She whispered into her hair.

"He didn't try anything did he?"

"No, thank God. But he's serious about this custody battle." August quickly scooped her into his arms before she could reject him. She smiled into his chest. She felt his heart pounding.

"I'm fine, August. He didn't even touch my hand." She couldn't even imagine how he felt knowing she was riding with him.

"I know, but God Em. Way to worry me to death." He pulled away, giving her a quick look over. "And you smell." He laughed nervously.

"I went for a run. That's practically the only reason I took him up on his offer. My legs are so sore. I'm gonna hop in the shower. What's for dinner?" She walked in to Henry playing a video game on his DS. "Hey kid! Have fun with Uncle August?"

"A little, we raced a lot. I think I'm a tad faster, though." He smiled up at her. "And I requested some chicken pasta, so that's for dinner." She ruffled his hair before heading to her room for a change of clothes. She was ready for the night discussions.

_E: We are having some form of chicken pasta for dinner. Hope you can make it in time. Fair warning, I have some muscles that could use some attention when you come over. And bring sleep clothes ;)_

_K: I'd be more than happy to comfort your muscles. Count me in. I'll be off work in a few hours._

* * *

 

Dinner was ready right at six and Killian still hadn't arrived. Emma tried to hide her disappointing silence by keeping food in her mouth. Regina was soaking in all Henry had to say for the second night in a row, so only August could sense Emma wasn't feeling fine. A knock on the door startling everyone.

"I'll get it." Emma chimed, jumping from her seat. When she opened the door she was met with an apologetic smile and wine.

"Sorry I'm late, love." He leaned in, giving her opposite cheek from earlier the kiss.

"You're fine, Regina and Henry were just going nonstop." She joked. August stood grabbing Killian's hand for a shake. He made sure to give Regina's hand a kiss, before shaking Henry's hand as well.

Emma's attitude changed tremendously after Killian's arrival, not going unnoticed by August. He pushed his jealousy back, saving face.

"I just left my stuff outside, wanting to hurry to dinner so I'll get that when we are done eating." He whispered at Emma. She placed her hand on his, indicating that the plan was fine with her. This time it was August who ate in silence

Emma was rinsing the last of the dishes when Killian approached her, nuzzling in the crook of her neck.

"You should let me finish these, last I knew the lady had sore muscles." She sat the plate back into the sink.

"Incredibly sore, though I'm sure they'll be killing me before the nights over." She purred, laying her head back to rest on his.

"Only if that's what the lady insists." He placed a soft kiss to her temple before gently moving her out of the way. "Go enjoy the remainder of time tonight with Regina. Before I have my wicked way anyways." He gave her a smoldering look before letting out a deep laugh, causing her to laugh in return. She rolled her eyes and headed towards the living room.

It seemed like eternity before Emma was seeing Regina off for the night, having agreed to calling Tamara the next day, August had long excused himself for bed, stating he had to be up early in the morning to head into work. Emma read the lie, but refused to delve deeper into it. Henry had just finished getting ready for bed while Emma chose something on television for her and Killian to watch. Killian had stepped outside to grab his things when August walked into the kitchen to grab a glass of water. He smiled at Emma, taking a sip he finally spoke.

"Remember Henry is right across from you, try not to wake him." He tried to come off joking, but his comment was instead very sour. Emma crinkled her brows at him, before smiling.

"Of course." Was all she said. When Killian returned he held up his bag.

"Where should I set this? And change." She led him to her room.

"You can just set it at the foot of the bed. You can change in here if you want, or the bathroom. I'm assuming you remember where-" She was interrupted by his lips on hers. His hand stroking ever gently down her arm. He was being too gentle, too loving. She needed to get control of the situation. She raked her hand under his chin, working the buttons of his uniform before untucking his white tank. Her nails scraping along his chest. A groan escaping his throat, but he kept the same pace. Emma pulled away first. She scanned his expression, his pupils blown wide. He looked hungry for her, so why wasn't he devouring her?

"Are you okay, Killian?" She asked, her voice cracking just a little bit.

"Aye, never better. Are you?" He gave her a playful boy smile, the one she couldn't help but smile at when he gave it.

"Yeah, you just don't seem very into it."

"On the contrary. I'm beyond into kissing you. Just savoring it is all. I want to enjoy every bit of this. You've allowed me to attend multiple dinners, meet your oldest friend, and allowed me to stay the night while your child is home. I don't want to fuck tonight up, love." He pulled his uniform shirt off, pulling the tank over his head as well. Seeing Killian without a shirt always grabbed Emma's breath. The man was a true version of sex appeal. She raked her hand over his chest again before kissing his collar bone. She worked her way down, following the trail of hair down the thinning path. She nibbled around his belly button along his hips. He tried protesting her movement, asking if he could shower before diving into such activities. She refused continuing her path. She gently stroked her index fingers along his pants line, before grabbing the belt. She rubbed over his very obvious erection through his pants while she worked. Small groans escaping his lips. She smiled to herself, if he wanted a good night she would deliver. Once unhooked, she gently pulled his pants down, scraping over his bouncing cock. In one swift movement she placed his full length into her mouth. He let our a whimpering gasp and jerked.

"Fuck, oh God, Em." He felt her smile around him. He cupped the back of her head gently. She refused to stop until she felt his movements become erratic, and felt his release down her throat. She slowly removed him from her mouth, smiling at him defiantly. He was panting, his hair disheveled, and she could see his heart pounding through his chest.

"Bloody hell, that was fantastic." He gasped quietly. "You never cease to amaze me, Swan." She gave him an 'I know' look and walked out of her room, plopping down on the couch. He returned a very short time later and sat beside her. "So where are these sore muscles of yours? I'd like to assist them if you let me." His eyes were no longer black, but their beautiful blue. She showed him where they hurt and he went to work as they watched a law show she had picked. He rolled his eyes at her choice, but didn't care as he spent the evening watching her while rubbing her aching muscles. It was only when she felt peppered kisses along her neck that she realized she had fallen asleep.

"mmm?" She mumbled. She jerked upright "I fell asleep. I'm so sorry." Her cheeks turned a rosy color, but Killian shook her head.

"All is fine Lady Swan." He joked. "I'm just glad it felt good enough to fall asleep to. Care to head to bed?"

"What time is it?" She rubbed her eyes, stretching.

"Almost midnight." She nodded her head at him.

"Yeah, definitely. You can go get a shower and I'll get the bed ready." She felt weird saying it. She'd never had anyone over while Henry was home. It felt so domestic. No, too domestic. When he opened the bedroom door in just a towel, she was waiting. Sitting upright, worry painted her face.

"Everything okay, darling?" He asked, sitting in front of her.

"Is it a good idea for you to stay the night? With Henry here I mean." He gave her a reassuring smile, knowing exactly what she was panicking about.

"Yes, I get it's a huge step for you. I know you've probably never done this before, but it'll be fine. Chances are I'll be at work before he wakes anyways." He knew she was going to try to pull away, it was only in her nature. But the words she spoke made him swallow hard.

"You don't think it'd be a mistake? If we break up and he does remember you stayed the night? I just don't want him being let down by you, or me."

"Emma, I have no plans of letting Henry down if I can help it. I don't plan on letting either of you down." He kissed her gently. The light kisses would be the death of her. They just made her feel more loved. And love is a scary thing. He pulled her to him, he kissed her deeply, but never harder. He laid her down, peppering kisses down her neck. As he approached her chest he slid his hands up her sides making sure to add just enough pressure to let her know he would be leading this. Once her breasts were exposed he cooed at the erect stance of her nipples.

"Gorgeous, you are a goddess." He slipped his lips over one, sucking and flicking his tongue along her nipple before nibbling it. She arched her back for him, her breath rapid and unstable. Pinching and rubbing the other one before switching sides. He kissed and licked his way slowly down her body, nibbling her hip bones and working his way inside of her thighs. Her panties being the only thing withholding him from her drenched core. He knew just how to touch her, everything he did driving her near insanity. She released soft moans as he kissed his inner thighs, throwing her head back. He peeled her panties off painfully slow, embracing her wetness he gently added his tongue. The moans escaping her lips were slowly raising in volume. He hummed as he sucked her clit, inserting two fingers into her. His 'come here' motion with his finger bringing her to the brink of her orgasm. She was panting and biting her lip to keep from moaning too loudly. Her chest aimed high towards the ceiling, and her fingers firmly placed through his hair. As soon as she began convulsions he rapidly flicked his tongue over her clit while still sucking. Her grip in his hair becoming even more tight.

He let her go, licking his fingers, and worked his way back up her body. Kissing her gently, he quickly inserted himself. She gasped into his mouth, the sudden expansion taking her breath from her. The gasp was quicky replaced by a soft moan. He worked slowly at first, his speed increasing after a few moments. He laced their fingers grinding into her as he did. She gave him total control, hoping he would dominate her this evening. She would have been disappointed, had it still not felt incredible with him making sure to drag against her walls every time he pulled back. His eyes were black, he rolled them over, allowing her to be on top. He'd tell her it was so she had some control, but they both knew he liked watching her body bounce above his own. He won't deny watching just how well he fills her up with every stroke. After giving her a few minutes of control he flipped them, plopping her demandingly. He smirked at her before nibbling her chin and sucking her throat. His thrusts becoming harder and quicker.

"Killian! Oh God" She gasped before convulsing around him.

"Absolutely beautiful." He gasped not slowing his pace. "God, I love you." He let slip, finishing himself. They were both shocked by his confession and he eased his pace to a stop before kissing her jaw.

"I do mean that, by the way." He stopped kissing and eased his eyes to meet hers he knew were full of fear. "You don't have to be afraid, love. I told you I had no plans of letting you nor Henry down. I didn't know how to tell you. I didn't want to scare you away. And I dont want you to throw your walls back up. I love you, and I'll be by your side as long as you let me." She looked around nervously.

"Okay, I'm gonna clean up. You can get comfortable. I'll be right back." He gave her a kiss.

"I'll sleep by the table. In case I get called at two or so. So that I don't wake you."

* * *

 

She returned to him looking mostly asleep. As she crawled into bed he mumbled into her neck and pulled her into him.

"Sweet dreams, love."

Just like clockwork the phone on the bedside buzzed to life at one thirty. Killian slapped for his phone. He grabbed the phone and squinted at it. He sat up as he saw the message displayed across the screen. A number that wasn't saved flashed across pulling the message with it.

_Your body looks way better now btw ;) maybe we could have a dinner before the hearing._

Killian's heart fell as he looked to his sleeping Emma. He grabbed his phone and googled the area code: _Boston_. It had to be Neal. He locked her screen back and set both phones back on the table. Surely she would tell him if something had happened with Neal recently. He traced Emma's face hoping he would be given an explanation in the morning. He kissed the bridge of her nose and attempted to sleep. Sleep is not what he received though.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry if this chapter seems rushed. I just really wanted to give you guys something after 1.5 months of no update.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Longest chapter so far, not sure when I'll update again, but will be in February for sure. Lots of smut! :)

Emma awoke to movement in the bed.

"What time is it?" She mumbled as she rolled to face him.

"Early, don't worry yourself. It's five, go back to sleep love." A sigh escaped her lips. "Don't worry, I'll text you later." She watched him get dressed as best she could. He picked up his backpack, placing a knee on the bed he leaned to kiss her.

"I hate that you're leaving so early." She pouted, puffing out her bottom lip. He let out a small chuckle, taking his thumb and smoothing out her lip.

"I hate leaving so early, but it's part of the job." He kissed her gently. She grabbed the sides of his face to urge him to deepen it. He obliged, groaning into her mouth. He broke apart before it became too intense.

"I love you, Emma. I'll talk to you soon." The dip in the bed vanished, and she heard the door open and shut softly. She felt instantly sad at his disappearance.

_Maybe I do want him to stay for breakfast. He's only leaving because of my own doubts. I'm so stupid. Is this what love feels like?_

She groaned in bed, tossing and turning hoping she could sleep a couple more hours. She grabbed her phone to text him, noticing a new message. She opened it and let out an annoying sigh.

_E: Thanks, but I'm definitely going to pass on that._

She pulled open Killian's texts.

_E: I miss you already. Next time I hope you can stay for breakfast at least._

_K: As long as I'm off the next day I should be able to. Not feeling so worried about Henry now?_

_E: Yes and no :)_

_K: Get some sleep, love. I'll text you in a few hours._

She laid her phone down and closed her eyes, she was going to make herself sleep if she had to.

* * *

 Emma awoke to the sun peering through her blinds. She stretched, reaching for her phone to a new message. Without looking, she opened it up with a smile. The smile quickly dropped.

_Neal: You could bring your lawyer if you wanted. Bet you're a lot more fun now, than you were as a child._

_E: fuck off. I'll see you at the hearing._

_N: Foul mouthed as always. My offer stands until you take it._

Emma wanted to throw her phone across the room. She didn't know what he was playing at, but she wanted no part of it. She climbed out of bed to find August loading the coffee pot.

"You're up early." He refused to look her in the eyes, she noticed.

"Couldn't stay asleep. Thought you had to go to the office?" She raised a brow at him.

"Oh come on, you knew I was lying about that. I was just wanting to type and have quiet time. Regina and Henry were driving me crazy." They both laughed even though she knew it was only a half truth. She let out a sigh. "What is it?" He asked looking at her hand.

"Neal messaged me. It's like he's trying to come onto me or something. I told him to fuck off, but he liked that too. Killian left super early this morning and it kind of hurt. It felt like what you do to a one night stand." He let out an inaudible sound that she would swear was jealousy.

"I'd just ignore Neal, he may be trying to lighten you up on this custody battle. As for Killian, I can't offer advice there. He's a cop, he gets up early doesn't he?"

"When he works days yes, but I don't know. It just felt like he was lying."

"Talk to him when you see him again. Don't text about it." He filled two cups with coffee, handing her creamer and sugar.

"I'm going for a run when I finish this cup, Henry is expecting you to spend time with him today." Emma nodded, she would take him to the boat museum like she had originally planned.

* * *

  **Killian**

Killian let out a long sigh as he pulled from the driveway. He hated lying to Emma, but his mind wouldn't allow him to shut down. He couldn't be there any longer. He pulled into the pub, sighing loudly. He knew if he needed to talk to someone he always had a listening ear in Robin. He walked in to Robin wiping tables, a smile forming as he saw him.

"Well good morning officer. Sorry, but I've closed up the bar until this evening." He joked.

"Not here for a drink, actually I could use some advice." He scratched behind his ear, before sitting in a chair of the table he was cleaning. Robin gave him a look before also sitting down.

"Know how I've mentioned seeing that woman, Swan? Well I stayed at her house last night, truly feeling we've taken a step seeing as her lad was home. Well around one she gets this sodding message from her sons father talking about how much better her body looks now and wants to have dinner before their custody hearing. And she had really sore thigh muscles before I came over." He felt stupid admitting it, but he was feeling very insecure. Robin studied the table for a moment, debating on how to answer.

"Were there any messages to suggest anything else was happening?" He said after a minute.

"None, no messages at all before his text."

"So either they've never texted before this morning or she's deleting their messages? Have you mentioned the text? I don't have anything to offer on the sore muscles." Killian shook his head.

"And say what exactly? Sorry I read your message thinking it was my phone and want an explanation for Neal's text?" Robins blue eyes were looking at him flatly.

"That's exactly what you say. It's the truth in'it?" Killian brushed his hand over his face, moaning into his palms.

"Aye, but it still makes me look insecure."

"Well you are. Haven't seen you this worried since you asked Milah to marry you, are you in love mate?" Killian just looked at him. "Bloody brilliant! I'm happy for you Killian. You definitely need to talk to her. Maybe you can invite me to dinner, so I can meet that lawyer you mentioned the other night." He waggled his brows at Killian.

"We'll see, good talk but I gotta run. Have to work in a few. " He left the bar only feeling a little better than before. He sat in his cruiser , hoping the day would fly by. He was anxious for his conversation with Emma.

* * *

  **Emma**

Emma knew Henry would be excited about the boat museum, and she was not wrong. Henry was chatting nonstop about all the boats, mentioning how he would tell Killian all about it. He was adamant on taking pictures of every ship and boat there.

"Oh, mom you're getting a text." Emma grabbed the phone quickly, just in case Neal was sending yet another vile message.

_Regina: I'm calling Tamara today. I understand you're having a day with Henry so I just wanted to send a quick text letting you know. Also got called about a date this morning. Court in seven days. See you this evening._

Emma sighed, seven days before the court date. Seven days before her life changes forever. She hated Neal. Hated him for everything. Henry looked at her waiting to receive the phone back so he could take more pictures. Emma's stomach was in knots. Henry would ask what kind, seeing as he learned twenty seven different boating knots on the trip.

The ride home was fairly quiet, Emma had bought him some rope at the gift shop and he was busy working on his knots to show Killian. She pulled into the driveway to find Regina already waiting for her.

"Hey, I wasn't expecting you for a couple hours. Did you learn anything from Tamara?" Emma asked as she approached her. She looked back to find Henry still in the car working on his knots. "Come on, Henry. You can do that inside." She called. Regina smiled at Henry as he passed her by without a word.

"Well, how rude." Regina laughed. "He was all talk yesterday."

"He learned some rope knots and he's anxious to show Killian." Emma assured. She let out a sigh.

"Speaking of," she started. "He does love me. He told me last night and this morning. I didn't say it back." Her phone buzzed, and when she looked at it she laughed. "Speak of the devil, and he shall appear."

_K: Swan, when I come over care if I bring a friend?_

_E: Of course you can bring someone._

_K: Awesome...and also I kind of need to talk to you in private when we come over._

_E: Oh? Good private or bad?_

_K: I've got some concerns..._

_E:...okay_

Her stomach knotted for the second time that day.

"Killian's bringing a friend for dinner."

"Wow you see him everyday, huh?" Regina smiled coyly.

"To an extent I guess. Totally normal right?" She laughed nervously. She hadn't thought just how much she was seeing him was a little excessive. She'd grown used to seeing him daily. She asked August if he would make an Irish dish. If Killian was concerned she wanted to make him happy. What could he possibly be concerned about? They sat at the bar to discuss Tamara.

"Well, she was very willing to speak with me. She gives you her best wishes against Neal. So they met a few years after he was in school. They bumped into each other at a coffee shop, dated, they got engaged a year after dating. He became jealous, aggressive, a womanizer, he began drinking, she started withholding sex from him as punishment. He told her he wasn't afraid to take it if he wanted it in drunken rages, he began sleeping around. He guilted her into sex that led to a pregnancy. She was convinced it was indeed rape, since she really didn't want to have sex to begin with. She had an abortion and left him the same day. She told him she refused to be tied down to him. So he's a real winner."

"Can we use that against him?"

"Maybe, maybe not. We'll see how the hearing goes before we bring it up, if it's even going to make a difference. It's been four months. I mean a year would help him more so we will see." Emma groaned, it felt like they hadn't made any progress. Neal was sure to get half at this point.

"Keep in mind Emma, Henry is at an age where he can voice his opinion. He doesn't get a say, but the court will take his opinion into consideration. You need to see what he wants to be prepared for something similar to happen. There's a large chance due to his age the court will work in his favor. He will likely get weekends and there will probably be a retrial in May to see about holidays and summer. You need to be mentally prepared for that."

As dinner rolled around Emma was getting nervous about their talk, while Henry was getting excited about showing off his knots. When the car pulled into the driveway her stomach did flips.

"Henry, when Killian gets in me and him are going to talk so don't bombard him with your knots yet." She smiled at him. He nodded his head, a little confusion on his face. "Don't worry kid, we are fine." She hoped. The men approached the door to be greeted by Emma.

"Good evening love, you look gorgeous as always." He placed a kiss on her cheek. "This is my best mate, Robin. Robin, this is the wonderful Emma."

"Nice to meet you, come in please. This is my son Henry, my best friend Regina, and my brother August." She cringed unsure if Robin knew about her almost sexual encounter with said 'brother'.

"Hello, nice to meet you lot. My names Robin, I've known Killian since we were young lads. I have quite the stories." He winked at Emma. She looked at Killian who was scratching behind his ear, his cheeks a bit flushed.

"Swan?" He asked, cocking his head towards her bedroom. She nodded.

"Excuse us for a moment." She closed the door and folded her arms.

"Please don't stand defensive, love. I, how do I say it? Last night the phone went off, I instinctively assumed it was mine and grabbed it. It took a minute to register that it wasn't my phone. Only after I saw the message displayed...you had sore muscles in your thighs..." He paused, letting her catch what he found.

"Oh God, Killian. No, you saw that message Neal sent! It's not like that, I swear. I can prove it, here." She pulled out her phone and tried showing him the messages, but he shook his head.

"No Swan, I already accidentally snooped. It was not my intention. I trust you, it just took me off guard. When did he see your body though?" She slapped her forehead.

"This guy makes my life hell without even meaning to! I went for a run yesterday. I was wearing jogging gear, you know tight spandexy shit. I was probably a ten minute drive away from home and he pulled up offering me a ride. I was so sore I accepted. Not before telling Regina and August where I was."

"You could have called me, I would have picked you up. You could have told me about running into him." She placed a hand on his arm and gently squeezed.

"It slipped my mind, having you here. Regina had a lot of shit on my mind, and when I see you everything else seems to disappear in the moment." She smiled at him. "Believe me when I say I've never been attracted to Neal. We were friends at one point, and then he snapped. I mean sure at seventeen I crushed on him because he was an older guy that I looked up to, but I'm not seventeen anymore. You're the only guy I have feelings for. Physically, sexually, mentally."

"I'm a sodding fool, Em. I'm sorry I freaked out." She nudged him towards the door.

"Dinner awaits us dear." She giggled as she said the pet name. "Are you staying again? " She asked before they entered the living area.

"If the Lady so desires." He rest his hands on her hips as they made their way to the table.

"The lady very much desires. Hope you like dinner. He made Dublin Coddle, whatever that is."

* * *

 Dinner went exceptionally well. Henry showed Killian every knot he learned, only messing up a little bit. Regina and Robin flirted and bonded incredibly fast. Emma was glad to see her friend loosen up enough for playful banter with someone of the opposite sex. Regina offered to give Robin a ride home and he accepted, embarassingly fast Killian would say.

"Twenty bucks says he takes her to his bed." Killian laughed.

"Regina is not that easily persuaded into bed!" Emma retorted. Killian just chuckled.

"Come off it love, he's a man and they're very grown. And we all saw how well they got on." Emma shook the thought out of her head before heading into the bathroom.

"I'm taking a shower, you can either join me or think about your buddy getting lucky." She teased. He scrambled behind her. Once inside the bathroom she teased him more.

"By the way you are adorable when you're jealous. When you thought I'd dare do anything with Neal willingly." She pulled her shirt over her head, exposing her bare breast. He sucked in a breath.

"I thought they seemed a little less compacted." Grasping them, his hands immediately found tranquility. He hummed, closing his eyes. She closed hers as well as he began massaging them in his palms. He connected their mouths, slowly bunching his own shirt up and bringing it over his head. He pulled her against his chest, gently rubbing down her back. He smiled at her.

"Remove your pants darling and face the mirror." She cocked her eyebrow at him, but did as he commanded. She palmed the sink, watching his reflection behind her. He dropped his pants as well, slowly rubbing down her back planting kisses in his wake. As he kissed the middle of her back he slipped a finger then two inside of her, startling her as he did. He nibbled her back, lining himself up.

"You tired of me being so gentle?" He asked. Her face flushed.

"It's nice but sometimes it's good to have-" He filled her to the hilt, smirking. "-force." She choked out. He watched her in the mirror as he pulled out and slammed back in, her face contorting in pleasure. He gripped her hips tighter than usual, but all that escaped her lips were moans of approval. He slammed into her hard and fast, only slowing so he could nibble and suck her shoulder. His eyes never leaving hers through the reflection.

"If I thought you couldn't look more sinful, I'd be wrong." He whispered through bites up her neck before taking her earlobe into his mouth. She wanted to look away, but if she was honest he looked extremely sinful himself as he watched them. It made her wetter the longer she watched them. The way his chest and stomach muscles tightened with every stroke, the way his arms looked holding her when her legs completely gave out.

He yanked put, flipping her around and propping her onto the sink. Sinking into her again his pounding continued, sweat dripping down his chest and back. The curls on his abdomen wet and springy. With a few more thrusts she felt him pulsing inside of her, filling her entirely. She wanted this moment to last forever, biting his shoulder she moaned.

"You're perfect, Killian. How you can love me both confuses me and fills me with such happiness. I'm a mess, and you never give up." His breathing was slowing a little as he caught it enough to speak.

"When you learn your worth, you will see how it was so easy for me to fall in love with you darling." He grabbed her face in his hands and brought her mouth to his. She quickly broke from him.

"We need to shower before I make a mess." They laughed in sync.

"I agree."

* * *

 Emma awoke to find Killian still sleeping beside her. He looked incredibly peaceful, though not totally serene. His brows furrowed off and on. She wondered what he was dreaming about as his eyes flicked rapidly under their lids. She stroked his face smoothing any crinkles that formed. His eyes fluttered open, a smile playing on his lips when he saw her admiring him.

"Good morning beautiful. Sleep well?"

"Better than I have in a while honestly. You looked like you were having a not too plesant dream. Oh, happy thanksgiving." She grinned at him. He chuckled at her excitement.

"You too." He ran his finger down her cheek. A knock at the door pulled them from their trance.

"Yes?" Emma called. The door opened to August's curious expression.

"I need your help when you can. Regina is out here and she's already began helping herself to the wine. I don't know if she's freaking out or having a moment." Killian chuckled as Emma sat up in bed.

"Told you, love. Adults."

"What?" August asked.

"It'd appear my friend has scored with the lady Regina." Emma groaned and climbed over Killian's mostly covered form. She grabbed a pair of pajama bottoms and put them on.

"I'll see you in the kitchen." She gave him a quick kiss before following August to the culprit. Regina threw another glass back.

"Hey, think maybe you should stay sober for at least another three hours?" Emma smirked. "Having some regrets?"

"No, no regrets. I'm just shocked is all. Maybe a few regrets." She added. Killian appeared from the room smiling wildly, his hair disheveled.

"Morning everyone, coffee?" He asked to August. August nodded towards the maker.

"Help yourself. Coffee and creamer are in the canisters." Killian cringed.

"No thanks mate, I try not to murder my coffee. One of us has to keep our coffee proper." He jabbed Emma in the side. "If you want Regina, I can invite Robin for dinner. He doesn't celebrate thanksgiving either so I know he isn't busy." Regina shot him a look before giving Emma the same look.

"So what does one eat on thanksgiving?" He swayed the subject a little. Emma turned to face him astonishment as her expression.

"Have you not seen commercials? Ads? Known someone who does celebrate?" He shook his head.

"Well you're in luck. We need to get ready to head to Mary Margaret's. I'm supposed to help cook some stuff. We eat at one. August, you going to bring Henry when you come?" August nodded. "Finish your coffee captain." She teased before heading to her room to change, Killian right on her tail.

"I can take my coffee to go." He mumbled as he pulled her by the waist. He lifted her shirt over her head, palming her breast as he raised. He pushed her forward, bumping her hips into the dresser.

"Killian wait..." She turned around in his grasp, his hands dropping to her waist. "We seriously need to hurry and get to Mary Margaret's. She'll be so pissed if I don't help her. I'm sorry, there's just no time. " He brought his finger to her lip.

"Sorry, love but you're wrong. There's always time, the length of enjoyability another story. But I know what you're saying." He released his hold, kicking off his shorts. He gave her a sly grin before removing his boxers as well. Grabbing his jeans, he quickly threw them on. She rolled her eyes, changing her clothes as quickly as she could. She yanked her hair up into a messy bun and grabbed her phone off of the bedside table.

"Are you riding with me?" He suddenly asked. She hesitated, thinking about how excited Mary Margaret would be to know someone stayed somewhere with the other. She also wanted him to know she was okay with him loving her, okay maybe a little bit not okay.

"Uh, yeah I guess that'd be fine." She watched as his eyes lit up. He acted like a little boy when he got his way. She stopped by the kitchen before leaving.

"Are you going to hang with August or are you coming with us?" Regina looked back at August before answering.

"Yeah, I think we will have some coffee and talk. I'll meet you guys at Granny's around one." Emma nodded.

Pulling into Mary Margaret's was nerve wracking for Emma. She hadn't seen Mary Margaret in several days, too many. And now she was pulling into her house as a passenger to a man's car. Mary Margaret opened the door, smiling from ear to ear and waving frantically.

"Emma! Happy Thanksgiving!" Emma smiled to her friend.

"I brought Killian with me. So he can learn what thanksgiving prep looks like."

"That's right, David mentioned that Killian didn't celebrate, I didn't think about the possibility of him doing it this year considering. Come in, lets get started."

* * *

  **Killian**

Killian watched as the two women scurried around the kitchen, occasionally asking him to get them something. He was both in awe and stunned at how well they worked as a team. He was actually getting excited to celebrate his first Thanksgiving feast, and it being with Emma. He pulled out his phone snapping pictures of the ladies working, capturing many of Emma looking over her shoulder while smiling at him. He decided to make her his home screen, carefully choosing his favorite. He smiled at the picture and pocketed his phone.

* * *

  **Emma**

As one began approaching they were finishing their last dish. Rushing to Granny's was always a tradition so they made sure to cut it close. Emma loaded half of the food into Killian's car, while Mary Margaret took the other half. The ride to Granny's made her anxious and excited.

"I am too excited to get to pop your Thanksgiving cherry." She beamed. He shook his head at her vulgar comment.

"My Lady is a pervert." He mumbled with a smile. As they pulled in they noticed several cars already parked outside. Ruby stormed outside.

"Emma Swan! I haven't seen your ass in days! Guess I'm not really your best friend." Emma rolled her eyes at how dramatic she was being.

"You know where I live. Are we the last to arrive or what?" She said while eyeing the other cars.

"Hey Killian, nice to see you again since Emma is ignoring you. Do you guys need help bringing anything in?"

"No thanks, love. I do believe Mary Margaret gave us just two containers. What they called chicken dressing and some cobbler dish." He pulled the containers from the back seat, only to have Ruby snatch them from him.

"You guys come on in I'll take these to Granny." She smiled at Emma, before disappearing into the diner. Emma slid her fingers into his and smiled up at him.

"Are you ready, babe?" He kissed her forehead.

"Aye, let's go pop this cherry." He playfully scoffed.

* * *

**Killian**

Killian noticed a few familiar faces, but was met by a few people he didn't recognize. After a brief introduction August, Regina, and Henry walked through the door. Granny had assembled all of the tables in the diner together to make one large dinner table, covering it with a signature table cloth she used every year. She carefully organized all of the food along the table. Small chatter came from several happy and grumpy forms. Killian smiled to himself at the hominess of the diner. He dropped his hand from Emma's and walked to David who was chatting with a taller, nervous man. Emma smiled to herself as David introduced Killian to, Archie, the towns therapist.

* * *

**Emma**

"Someone looks swooned." Ruby whispered into her ear.

"This is his first Thanksgiving. I'm really happy he gets to spend it here. That I'm the first person to introduce him to it all." She never took her eyes off of him as she spoke to her friend. Him occasionally looking back at her before giving her a cheesy grin.

"And also, he may have told me he loves me." Emma shut her eyes, awaiting Ruby's famous scream. Not one to disappoint, she did just that. Every head in the diner snapped in their direction. Emma covered her face, hiding from Granny's agitated face. Ruby grabbed her arm and yanked her into Granny's office.

"Tell me, tell me, tell me!" She giggled, eyes blown wide. "Did he say it romantically? Where were you? What did you say?! I need deets!" Emma suddenly felt embarassed. She didn't think Ruby would ask where they were. She swallowed, piecing her words together in her head.

"Well it kind of slipped. We were having sex. He told me and then we both froze. I think I told him something along the lines of 'okay, I'm going to clean up'. He's said it since then, so I mean I don't think it was accidental." Ruby smiled wildly. "He's stayed the night two nights in a row. After the first night he left super early because he thought something had happened between Neal and I, but-"

"Wait, why would he think something happened with you and Neal?" Emma let out a groan and told Ruby what had happened and what Killian mistakenly saw. Ruby only butted in a few times. They joined the others, everyone still engaged in their discussions. Granny finished placing the last dish on the table and cleared her throat. Emma crept her hand up Killian's back and coaxed him to a pair of chairs closest to the window.

"Has David introduced you to everyone?" She whispered. Henry bounced to the table and plopped beside Killian.

"Are you excited?" Henry asked Killian.

"Aye, I am. It seems you are too."

"Oh yeah, I am. I'm glad your first Thanksgiving is gonna be spent with us." Emma laced her arm through Killian's and put her head on his shoulder.

"And on that note, I'm gone." Henry stood to go to his uncle. "He's less gross." He joked.

"He's right though, we are really glad you're with us."

" And I'm happy to be here. No intention of not being here." He leaned in to kiss her, a buzz in Emma's pocket stopping them both. She pulled out the phone to see a new message from Neal. She groaned before opening the text.

_N: Will I get to visit Henry at all today?_

_E: You don't even celebrate Thanksgiving, so no. We have an entire afternoon planned out. Thanks for asking._

Emma rolled her eyes thinking of the nerve he had to even message her. Killian read her expression.

"The bloke still bothering you?" She shook her head.

"He's just wanting to see Henry this time. This custody hearing can't come soon enough."

As one approached, everyone began to settle in their chairs, Granny taking her place at the head of the table. Granny tapped her glass and cleared her throat.

"I'm so glad we have such a tight knit communtity. We have so few families with extended family to visit. I'm honored that you all have chosen to be here with us. I see every one of you as family, and I am glad I've gotten to know every one of you. Enjoy, and thank you to the ones that helped prepare this meal!" With her speech complete, Granny sat down. In moments a buzz filled the room, forks scraping dishes, and conversations beginning. Emma watched Killian sit with his mouth open at how in sync everyone was. She smiled and nudged him in the rib.

"Well champ, dig in. If you just sit there you won't eat." She teased. He gave a nervous smile before diving in himself. Emma took in the scene before her, Henry was happy, she was happy, and they finally had someone in their lives that was steady. She finally felt she was able to be happy.

* * *

 After lunch several of the men left, ready for their thanksgiving nap while several ladies helped clean up. Emma was no stranger to having to clean up on thanksgiving. She would take dishes into the kitchen before wiping down each table, and then place them back where they belonged. She couldn't help but notice Henry and Killian engaged in a discussion at one of the outdoor chairs. She hoped it was something light, boating, or England related. Anything but the upcoming battle, or that dreaded man.

"Creeper status." Ruby whispered in her ear. "Can you watch him any harder?" She teased.

"Oh I definitely can." They laughed together.

Emma approached the guys, planting her hand on the small of Killian's back.

"We're finished, ready to head out?"

"What have you got planned, Swan?" She looked to Henry and back at Killian.

"I'm not sure, usually it's a movie marathon since nothing is open today." Henry cleared his throat and shuffled his feet. "Henry? What is it?"

"Uh, well. I actually thought I'd ask if I could go visit my dad. He doesn't do anything for thanksgiving. I know he's lonely, maybe he's changed? I want to spend time with him." Emma noticed Killian's glance towards her but didn't take her eyes off of Henry.

"Henry, I don't know. That..."

"Mom, I'll be okay. I really don't think it will be a bad thing. And it'll make you look willing in court, you need that." She sighed, she knew he was right. She smiled at him.

"Okay, I'll text him." She wanted to cringe saying it.

_E: Come to Granny's, pick up Henry. I want him home by 8._

_N: Thanks, Em_.

Emma felt antsy waiting for Neal to arrive.

"It'll be okay, Emma. It's only for a few hours." Killian stroked her back, thumbing circles at the small of her back. Neal pulled up moments later, waving at Henry. Emma's stomach did a flip and knotted. She grabbed Henry and hugged him tight.

"I love you, kid. Remember you're to be home at eight. I'll see you soon. If you need me before he has my number."

"Okay mom, it's only four hours. I love you too." Killian smiled before ruffling Henry's hair.

"Have fun lad, don't worry about your mum." Henry smiled at Killian before turning to Neal's vehicle. Emma watched as Henry climbed in, up until the vehicle disappeared from view.

"I've an idea, love. Let's go visit some of my buddies. I actually have a friend who's not so happy I haven't brought you by to visit."

"You've mentioned me to friends?" She smirked.

"Of course I did."

"Hey! Glad I caught you before you left. I was gonna ask-wait where's Henry?" Ruby looked around.

"Neal, Henry wanted to see him. It looks better on my part to let him see him without a court order so that's what I am doing. I don't like it one bit, but I need this." Ruby's eye imitated Emma's sad ones before nodding.

"I see. Well keep me posted. I was going to ask if you wanted to get lunch tomorrow. I know you're busy with the custody thing or this boy toy, but I miss you! You're my best friend."

"I'm sorry Rube. I'll see you for lunch tomorrow. This boy toy has a job so I can't see him until he gets off work anyways." She hugged her friend and followed Killian to the car.

"Let's meet these friends of yours."

The ride to the bar was short, which left Emma barely any time to prepare herself for the meeting of his friends. She'd only met and heard of one. As he approached her door, a goofy grin was plastered on his face. She knew he was excited, she was just too nervous to be as giddy as he was.

"Ready, love?" He extended his hand for her to grab.

They walked into the bar to find just a few men sitting at the bar, Robin standing behind it.

"Killian, nice of you to join us! We were wondering when you'd show up."

"Oi! Killian! Nice of you to join us! This Emma?" The man jumped out of his chair and met them.

"Aye, this is Emma. Emma this is Will, he's a perverse bloke. You know Robin. The tall guy is John, and the bloke with glasses is Michael." They all said hello before diving back into their drinks, but Will kept his eyes on Emma. Emma tucked her hair behind her ear before taking a seat at the bar.

"What can I get you, Emma?" Robin smirked.

"Scotch is fine. So did you enjoy my friends company?" Robin eyed his friends before looking back at Emma.

"Very much so, she's agreed on dinner before she goes back to Cali. She tell you?" Emma's mouth dropped open.

"She didn't! I barely got a word out of her."

"She was quite the sight this morning though." Killian added. Robin smiled at the comment.

"I really like her, she's incredible. I'm glad you introduced us."

"Maybe you can convince her to move back, I'd like for my lawyer to live where I live." Robin passed glances between the two.

"I hope that works in your favor, Emma."

"Bloody hell, Scarlet. What's your problem?" Killian chimed at his friend.

"Nottin. Just don't get how you, goofy Killian, landed a lass as this. Tell me, d'you have any single friends?" He waggled his brows at Emma, which made her chuckle.

"Well, not really. But my friends may have some. I'll ask around." She smiled at him. Will downed his drink.

"I 'preciate that lass!" They made light banter until six o'clock, and Emma found she enjoyed Killian's friends. They said their goodbye and headed to her house.

"I like your friends, they're nice." She chimed to end the silence of the ride.

"I'm glad you enjoyed their company. Want to watch a movie before Henry gets back home?" Emma nodded. They sat watching a movie, Emma not paying too much attention. Her nerves causing her to watch the clock more than the movie. She had one more hour until Henry would be home. Killian sensed her anxiousness, deciding she needed properly distracted. He gently caressed her side, placing warm kisses to her neck.

"Killian, what are you doing? Henry will be home in a little while." Killian nuzzled her neck.

"Not for another hour, and you could use a destress method." He kissed her, scooping her body under his, and pressed her into the fabric of the couch. His hand roamed her body, resting under her ass and pulled her against him. Grinding his hips into hers, a moan escaped her lips. Her hands gradually found his scruff and she bucked under him. She smiled into their kiss as the moan growled in his throat. She arched her back and turned her head, urging him to kiss her neck. He did so willingly, playing with the hem of her shirt and raising it to expose her stomach. He planted feather like kisses to the exposed skin. She bucked her hips urging him to continue.

"Tell me what you want, love." He purred into her belly.

"I want...you...inside me, now!"

He smiled as he nipped her hips, gently unbuttoning her pants and working them down. He pulled his own pants down before kicking them off.

"What time will August be back?" He asked through raspy breaths.

"I don't know, probably not until later. He visits his dad on Thanksgiving. Well the man that adopted him anyways. Henry should be back before him. No more questions." She kissed him and pressed herself firmly against his erection. He pushed one of his legs between hers, forcing them apart. She wrapped one around his back, the other nestled in the crack of the couch. She was more than ready for him, after the scotch, and the make out session they had in the bar hallway, she was more than ready for him. He lined himself up with her entrance before pushing forward. The sudden tightness causing a deep growl to escape his lips.

"I'll never grow tired of the feel of you around my cock." He murmured into her jaw. She pressed her heel into his spine, pressing him to keep going. He picked up the pace, pressing his mouth to her chest. His facial hair burning her sensitive skin in the best way. She let out soft gasps as he stretched and pushed into her. He stroked down her body thumbing her nub and massaging it in sync with his thrusts. He felt her buckle before convulsing and tightening around him. The loud moan that escaped her lips surprised them both.

He quickened his pace trying to finished before she came down from her orgasm. He was stopped when she pulled him out, sliding her body beneath his until she was parallel with his throbbing dick. She took him into her mouth as quick as she could as to not mess up his groove. She bobbed and twisted him meeting him thrust for thrust. He couldn't help his body was naturally thrusting into her mouth. All his senses were lost as he felt his head slip past the very back of her throat. He let out a groan, bracing himself on one arm on the back of the couch.

"Bloody hell, love. I'm so close."

She kept his cock deep in her throat while still swirling her tongue about his shaft. She felt the veins of his cock before a warmth filled her throat. She swallowed as it drained, making sure to thoroughly clean him of any sperm left behind. He quivered, letting a low laugh escape his lips. He pressed a kiss to her lips before finding his clothes. It was nearing eight and he didn't want to be caught with his pants down.

"You should get dressed love, Henry will be home soon." Headlights in the driveway caused her to leap up, hurriedly throwing her clothes on. She combed through her hair the best she could before heading to the door. Both Neal and Henry emerged from the car.

"Hey mom, I had a blast. I'll see you inside." Henry pushed past her avoiding her gaze. She looked back at Henry before meeting Neal's expression.

_Is he nervous?_

"What is it? Why is Henry avoiding looking at me, and why are you nervous?" She folded her arms.

"Well your hair is a mess and you're completely flushed, not nervous." Emma picked at her hair again.

"I was wondering if Henry could stay the night at my place tomorrow night." Emma looked to the couch where Killian was residing, Henry in the recliner, and back at Neal.

"Look, a day I can do, but you'll be getting more time with him after this whole battle. I need to adjust. I don't even trust you, I did this afternoon for Henry. I'm sorry, I just can't yet."

"Emma, I brought him back a few minutes early to show you I can handle your rules with _our_ child. He wanted to stay Friday night. I told him you wouldn't approve, but that I'd try to convince you. I won't push it since this is something about you as a parent, but just know it'll be you damaging Henry, not me. And try to refrain from sexual activities when you know you'll be tending to Henry shortly after. Though it's not a bad look on you. I'll be in touch." He gave her a wink before climbing back into his car. She let out an annoyed sigh, shutting the door. As she walked to the couch to join Killian, August emerged from his room. An embarrassed look on his face. Emma's face mimicked his, a large blush covered her face.

"Oh bloody hell." Killian murmered.

"What?" Henry asked, eye brows raised.

"Nothing." They all three chimed back.

 

 

 

 


	18. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I just wanted to say I'm so sorry I'm posting an update at the end of the month and not the beginning like I thought I would. I had so much trouble finding contentment in the ending of this chapter so it sat unfinished for 2 weeks! I came really close to making it a separate ending, but by the time I finished typing I was pleased with the results. I hope you like it! Let me know what you think! <3

Emma ushered August into the kitchen.

"What the hell?!" Emma whispered through her teeth. August raised both of his hands up in defense.

"I swear I barely heard anything! I was typing with headphones in and thought I heard something, I took my headphones out. As soon as I heard what was going on, I put them back in. I swear that's the truth. When I heard car doors slam I thought you were leaving so I was going to get a drink. This is really weird, you really did that knowing Henry would be home soon?" Emma folded her arms.

"Seriously? First Neal, and now you? I have needs August, I _am_ human. I do recall you fucking my best friend when you were supposed to be watching Henry." August's made a defensive stance.

"Granny knew what was happening, there was zero chance of Henry walking in on that."

"That's right, just me. I forget. You could have made your appearance known in some way. We would have stopped!" He was going to make a comeback when Killian approached them.

"Henry wanted a drink, didn't want him making his way in here and hearing _anything_." Killian grabbed a couple bottles of water from the fridge and made his way back to the couch.

"Emma, don't make a big deal out of this. I'm not." He gave her a smile before grabbing a water himself and heading back to his room.

"August wait." She called.

"Yeah?"

"Why didn't you go see Marco?" He smiled at her concerning question.

"I did, actually. He was kind of tired so I didn't stay too long." She met the guys on the couch, enjoying the family like time she'd always hoped for.

* * *

 

Emma had caved in letting Henry stay the night at Neal's, after begging and pleading from Henry. She pulled into the driveway of the address Neal had given her. He told her it was only fair she saw where Henry would be spending some time, at least until his case in Storybrooke was closed. She should have known he would have bought out a log cabin in the woods.

_This couldn't look more sketchy._

She smiled at Henry, shutting the car off. She didn't feel he would threaten her until after the custody issue was settled, so she wasn't too nervous. Still, facing him remained the hardest thing yet. The front door opened to Neal smiling ear to ear. She had to admit, she'd never seen him smile the way he smiled at Henry. Maybe that's what love looked like in his features.

"Henry! Good to see you, I'm so excited about this." He wrapped Henry in a hug, clearing his throat as he turned to Emma.

"Emma, good to see you again as well. Please, come in. I'll show you around." He said waving them both in.

"Henry, make yourself at home. I'll show your mom around so she knows it's one hundred percent safe here." Both he and Henry chuckled. Emma shifted nervously, not certain she felt okay being alone with him. He showed her each individual room, she took note that where Henry would be sleeping looked like his taste.

"Did you guess this or did you decorate based on his interests?" She asked with her eyes narrowed.

"A little bit of both. After I found out about him I got to work on decorating. He helped me make sure I was on the right track."

She would deny all the times she caught him looking her body over during the tour. When they reappeared in the living room Henry was deep into a video game.

"Good enough for your satisfaction?" He asked, hands deep in his pocket with his shoulders pushed forward. Emma looked around the room a final time, stopping at Henry. When she looked back to Neal she noticed his gaze had also shifted to Henry.

"He's safe here, and he enjoyed yesterday. If anything happens I'll call you." She knew he was trying to reassure her, but her internalized fear of him refused to allow it.

"Okay." She breathed out.

"So it's good enough?" He asked again. She gave him a soft nod before looking at the door.

"See you tomorrow, I'll have him home in one piece." He opened the door and walked onto the porch. She walked back to her car trying to not be upset that Henry was okay with this, knowing he tried killing his mother.

"I do mean it by the way." He called, causing her to pause and turn to face him.

"You look way better now, especially flushed." He gave her a smirk and wink. She rolled her eyes and climbed into the car.

* * *

 

If she'd ever thought she wasn't a pushover, Henry reinforced that she was. He convinced her to let him stay one more night, 'since you sleep eight of those hours away which only leaves like four hours mom.' Her weekend was lonely and she missed her son. Ruby asked her to join her and a woman she had met at the bar. She declined, court was four days away and she was wrecked. She also declined Killian's offers to stay at her place or her at his.

Regina had come by to go over how things would go and prepare what they were to say, which in Emma's case was little to nothing. She was exhausted mentally and emotionally. The man had taken so much from her and now he wanted to split their child. Nightmares began haunting her dreams again, though it took both her and August by surprise.

"Emma! Wake up, it's just a nightmare. Come back to me, come on. Wake up!" She gasped awake in August's arms, in the floor. He brushed her wet hair out of her face.

"You good, Em? You had me worried." She groaned, looking around.

"What time is it? How did I end up in the floor?" She sat up, crossing her legs and resting her fact in her palms.

"Two, getting nervous about the trial?"

"Mmhmm"

"I thought that's why you've been isolating yourself. Henry will be home in ten hours. Everything is going to be fine." He grabbed her hands and pulled them down. When she looked at him he had the boyish smile he'd kept all the years she knew him. She couldn't help but smile back at him. Did she ever hope he was right!

Neal brought Henry right at noon just as he said he would.

"I guess I'll see you in three days then?" Emma just nodded. Noticing Neal's lingering form, she sighed.

"Are you wanting to see how Henry is living here?" He grinned sheepishly.

"I kind of hoped you would show me yours since I showed you mine." He grinned, her humor far less apparent. She waved him in, August shot an apprehensive look which she brushed off. She made her tour a lot shorter than he made his.

"So you sleep across from Henry? I'm assuming since August sleeps on the other side of the kitchen?"

"You'd assume correct, my room isn't a worry so I don't feel the need to introduce you to it." She grabbed for the door handle to pull the door all the way shut, but he beat her to it. Pushing it open he helped himself inside.

"I'm going to have to ask you to remove yourself from my room. Henry spends absolutely no time here. As I said before, it's of no concern." He walked around the room; touching little things in his wake, stopping and titling his head at a box opened in her closet. Her eyes followed his, lunging forward to seal the box up. He grabbed her arm.

"What's in the box? You don't have a substance problem do you, Emma." She grit her teeth as he grabbed the box.

"No, I don't. That's personal belongings, you have no business messing with." She seethed. She watched him pilfer through her belongings stopping and reading papers.

"I will tell August to remove you if you don't remove yourself." He dropped the papers back in the box and turned to her.

"Okay sorry, my bad." He stood in front of her, grabbing her shirt and pulling it up slightly. She swatted his hand, but he never lost his grip.

"I just want to see." Her insides boiled, she felt as if she were smothering while he held her shirt up.

"Damn, a lot of scars. How did you even survive that?" He asked genuinely surprised. "You know I do think about that day quite a bit. More so the past week than I ever have. You're not the only one with scars from that day. My father almost killed me over you."

"And yet he kept you safe from prison." She fired back. He raised his own shirt revealing a string of scars along his abdomen and back.

"He didn't want to, but he knew he could hurt me more than prison ever could. For three weeks he tortured me. As long as you were hospitalized." She folded her arms.

"Like I told you the other day, your sob story means nothing to me. You deserved what you got. You _knew_ no man had ever touched me, you were brutal...I trusted you and you..." She stammered fighting back the tears. "Get out. I'll see you in court."

* * *

 

Emma drank herself into a stupor, carefree on if she'd make an ass of herself. She asked Killian to come take care of her, something she'd never admit she needed sober. He agreed to come as soon as he could. August called Ruby, he had no idea what was wrong with Emma and he didn't want to have to deal with her alone. Ruby and Killian pulled into the driveway at the same time.

"I guess we are in for a night." Ruby laughed.

Emma was rambling on when they walked in, she threw her head in their direction giving them her best smile. Killian was first to approach.

"Good evening love, how much have you had to drink?" He asked, smoothing her hair down.

"Enough, I guess. I haven't kept up." She giggled.

"An entire bottle of wine and three glasses of scotch. She was distraught this evening before she began drinking. I'm assuming it had to do with Neal. She was showing him the house. They disappeared into her room and when she came out she was crying. She said he didn't touch her, but wouldn't say what had happened." August said, filling both guest in on the evening. Killian looked back to Emma, a broken look in his eyes.

"Darling, lets get you into bed."

"I'm not ready for bed! I want to finish my scotch first." She reached for the bottle on the table, August snatched it from her grasp.

"You've had enough, Em. Go, follow Killian. We will see you in the morning. Rube, if you want to stay I'll get you some blankets or you can take my bed and I'll sleep on the couch." Ruby shook her head.

"I think Killian's got this, I'm going to head home. I'll check on her in the morning." She hugged Emma's unsteady form, gave Killian a soft smile, and headed for the door. Killian picked Emma up in one swift movement and carried her to her room.

"You smell nice." She purred into his collar. He laid her on the bed and begun unfastening her pants.

"Hey now, I didn't agree to sex mister." Killian let out a groan.

"Emma, I'm getting you into bed. You can't sleep in blue jeans. You'll be much more comfortable without them I promise." She giggled as he pulled them off, her hand immediately trailing downward over her panties. She smiled mischievously at him before rubbing circles along the fabric. Killian began undressing himself and climbed into bed, ignoring her sexual notions.

"I love you Emma Swan, you need to go to sleep."

"That scares me." She spoke, all laughing gone.

"Sleep? Why?"

"No, you loving me. You'll wind up breaking my heart. Just like the last guy. No one loves me for long. I always find a way to screw it up."

"What last guy?" He didn't want to take advantage of her intoxicated state, but she'd never mentioned anyone else.

"Walsh, we dated for like a year. He claimed he loved me. I thought I loved him. He proposed and I said yes, Henry loved him. Happy endings aren't for me though. He slept with a girl I knew, in our bed. Several different occasions, it'd been going on for months. The girl always lied to my face about it." He read she was at the weepy stage, but no tears came out.

"How long ago was this?" He asked stroking her arm. She looked around the room and back at him. "Three years ago."

"Why did you drink so much tonight?" His question coming off a little sharper than he intended.

"Because I trust you. I'm scared to trust you. I trusted Neal. I trusted Walsh."

"I'm not Neal, and I'm not Walsh." He bit out.

"They're the reason I'm scared to love you." She confessed. "I'm scared if I love you, something will happen and my heart will be the one crushed again." She finally let the tears come. He pulled her to his chest and held her tight, rubbing circles into her back.

"I'm not going anywhere, darling. I'm right here." He soothed her to sleep, hoping he could ease her doubts about their happy ending.

* * *

 

Wednesday came quickly for Emma. She was frightened, dressing in something bright. She hoped it would lighten her mood. Regina met them at Emma's house, and they rode together. Killian requested the day off, resulting in not seeing her for two days. When he met them at the courthouse he thought she would never let him go.

"I'm so scared, Killian." She confessed into his chest.

"Don't worry, love. I'm right here, we'll get through this. Let's go in there and knock him dead." He gave her a warm smile and entwined their fingers.

The courtroom was mostly silent, aside from whispers coming from various people and their lawyers. Emma and Regina found their seats, Killian moving in a seat behind them as they waited in their case.

"You shouldn't worry yourself. We have everything here that proves you are a terrific mother who is suited to care for her son, and who meets all of his mental, emotional, physical, and social needs. The judge will go over both info packets and we will go from there." Regina gave her a smile, to which she attempted and failed to return.

"All rise." The phrase instantly shook Emma's nerves. This was happening, and there was no way out now. Court proceeded, numerous cases before theirs were giving them time to prepare. Or as Emma saw it, more time to mentally freak out. Emma was feeling more relieved at how little father's were receiving, silently hoping for the same. As their names were called, Emma's stomach flipped. They both approached their stands, while both of their lawyers approached the judge. The room was silent as he reviewed each case file, carefully jotting small things down as he went. When he cleared his throat, the sound echoed off of the walls.

"Miss Emma Swan?"

"Yes your honor." Her confidence and lack of cracked voice shocked her.

"Mr. Neal Gold?"

"Yes your honor."

"Good you're both here, as I review your cases I'm confused on why you're having trouble finding a non legal solution to this. Both of you are more than capable of caring for this child. You've been missing for fourteen years Mr. Neal, can you explain your absence and why you're proceeding with custody?

"Yes, your honor. As is written, I had no idea this child's even existed until he came to me. I had short comings with my own father and I do not want to make the same mistake. I've provided my DNA sample to a lab in the next county, I have a home here and in Boston to make things easier. I'm more than ready to provide and share raising my son."

The judge let him finish before looking at Emma.

"Miss Swan, what problem do you have with this?"

Emma closed her eyes and swallowed.

"Your honor, our child was conceived in rape, he was a criminal, and me just a runaway at the time. I've raised Henry by myself for so long, and I'm afraid of the past behavior being repeated."

"Miss Swan, from what I can see Henry is already in trouble with the law on more than one occasion. Do you not think that could have something to do with not having a father in his life?" She could hear the rhetoric in his voice. "There is nothing in either of your files about a rape so that is inadmissible. I'm issuing a DNA sample of one Henry Swan. Once complete, Mr. Gold, we will set up a child support demand of two hundred dollars weekly. Once we have that in stone, I'm going to grant Mr. Gold custodial rights. We will start with every other weekend and every other holiday. If all goes well with that for three months, it will be changed to every weekend for six months. Once six months are up I'll issue another court date to determine where to go from there. Case dismissed." Emma turned to Killian, her eyes pooling with tears. She had lost, and Neal had yet again won.

* * *

 

The drive back to Emma's was a silent one. The only words came from Regina.

"I'm sorry, Emma. I'm thinking today would be the best day to take Henry for the sample. One big bandaid of sorts." Emma just nodded, wrapping her arms around herself. She hated Killian was in his own car. She was relieved to pull into the driveway to Killian already waiting. He immediately wrapped his arms around her. As soon as he did, she wept. She knew Henry would see, would know the outcome. She had no words to tell him that she would be losing him for periods unknown, to a man she didn't know. She knew this would happen, but she hadn't emotionally prepared herself for the words to be spoken. Killian gently led her inside and to the couch. August's worried expression was confirmed by a sad nod from Killian. August threw the glass he was holding at the kitchen cabinet, settling his palms on the smooth, cold, marble counter.

"Fuck!"

"August, could you tell Henry I need to take him to the nearest lab for a blood test?" Regina hoped including August would ease the anger, not wanting Henry to see. "I'll sweep this up." August nodded and left the room.

"Nearest lab is an hour off. We've used it once or twice." Killian chimed.

"Alright, that should give you guys a few hours of silence to think things through. I love you Emma, I'm sorry this didn't work out as planned." Emma rubbed her eyes and looked and her friend.

"It's okay, Regina. It's not your fault. I love you too. I'm going to give Henry and hug before you leave and lay down for a bit." Her phone chimed a new message.

_N: hope you're not too disappointed. It's a start for me, and we both need this._

She rolled her eyes, shutting her phone off. She gave Henry a tight hug, figuring her friend would tell Henry along the way of the news. She wasn't ready to speak the words that were spoken to her just thirty minutes ago.

"I'll see you in a little while, kid."

"Are you okay mom? Why do I have to have blood drawn?" Emma past a quick glance at Regina.

"Regina will explain everything to you on the way. I would, but I don't really know how." She pushed the tears back, trying to save face for just a little longer.

"I'll go with them if you don't mind." August answered. "I'd like to know some details myself." Emma gave him a nod. She gave her son a final look before going into her own room. Killian closed the door behind them. She was crying again before he turned around. He dropped his shoulders meeting her at the center of the room. Wiping her tears with his thumb, he kissed her forehead.

"I'm sorry, love; truly I am." He spoke softly into her hair, pressing her against him in a tight embrace.

She pulled away first. Meeting his mouth in a flash.

"Killian I need to not feel. Right now, I just need you." Killian looked into her bright green eyes, speckled red from tears.

"Emma, I would love to. I just don't know that that's best." She retracted as if she were physically stung by his words.

"What do you mean? Would you rather I drank, found a drug of choice, chose to steal? So I turn to sex when I'm hurting, that doesn't negatively affect anyone."

"Except yourself, love. You're not giving yourself a chance to a truly grieve the hearing. You're trying to dismiss it, which does negatively affect you. You need to feel it."

"I can feel it after, Killian. It will still be here waiting for me. I don't want to be sad for just one fucking moment. Just so I can be stable enough to gather my thoughts for Henry. Please, Killian." Tears welled up again, threatening to abandon her. He let out a sigh, giving her a small nod, meeting her mouth again. He walked her backwards to her bed, trailing his fingers down the valley of her breasts until the met the hem of her shirt. He laid her down and slowly raised it, stopping once over her breasts. He pressed sensual kisses along her collar bone. He took his time, lightly kissing her as his fingers brushed along various parts of her body. He wanted her to know he was just as much into this as she was, afraid she would doubt his sincerity by his earlier refusal. He swiftly pulled her dress pants down, panties with them. He pulled off his shirt before nestling between her legs. He slowly planted feather like kisses along her inner thigh, smirking at the goosebumps that lifted.

"You're such a tease!" She whined.

"Not yet, I'm not." He gave her a quick smile before licking a line along her thigh, up to her bikini line. Making sure to stop at the start of her fleshy lips. A quivered moan escaped her lips. She was sure he could feel her heat radiating so close to his face.

"Do you stay so ready all the time, love?" He stood, removing his own pants.

"You can go ahead and remove your upper garments, doll." He was pouncing on her before she could get the shirt over her own head. Crashing their lips together he slid his fingers up her arm, slipping the shirt off, and tossing it onto the floor. She bucked underneath him, trying to add as much friction as possible. She tried to buck again, but he pressed his hips into hers holding her body down. She moaned into his mouth as he smirked, chuckling low in his chest. She broke the connection, panting for a breath.

"Boxers. Off. Now!"

"As you wish m'lady." He stood, peeling the boxers painfully slow; his cock bouncing out at attention as he removed them. He was on the bed in seconds, pressing into her anxious form. He felt her readiness as she ground into him.

"Such impatience, you need to work on that darling." He gave her a cheesy grin and grabbed her legs. Placing them on his shoulders he leaned back down for another kiss.

"I could kiss you all day." He confessed before grabbing himself and lining up to her opening. He slid it along her several times, watching as her eyes naturally closed at the sensation. When he couldn't stand it any longer himself, he pushed in. The position giving them a new feel on his fit. She gasped as he pressed fully into her. Pulling out slowly, she moaned at him.

"I don't want soft and sensual, Killian. I want hard, I want to feel this well into tonight. Now, fuck me hard!" He loved when she was vocal about what she wanted, but the filthiness of what she had said turned him on more than it ever has. He grabbed her hips and gave her a final smile, his eyebrow raised high. He slammed into her, leaving her gasping in his wake. He didn't slow his pace, instead speeding up and slamming ever harder into her, his grip on her hips bruising. She let out moans of pleasure, occasionally gasping his name. He wasn't sure how long he would last taking her this way, when he was interrupted by her swatting his hand.

"Did I hurt you?!" He quicky asked, suddenly very panicked. She giggled at his expression.

"No, I just want to finish this doggy if you're okay with that. Same amount of intensity if you don't mind." She grinned sheepishly. He pulled out of her and gave her a kiss.

"Of course I don't mind. I'm here for your pleasure." In a swift movement he had flipped her onto her belly. He placed kisses down her back and gave her ass a playful smack. She raised it up at attention. If he wasn't already so painfully hard, the view would have done him in. He purred at the sight before hearing her clear her throat. He shook his head before realigning with her. He did as she asked and slammed into her. With one hand firmly on her hip, the other slid around to find her swollen clit. Pounding hard, he circled her clit at the same pace, while biting and sucking at her shoulder. She leaned farther up, giving him better access to her shoulder and neck. She was moaning louder than he had ever heard. Within seconds he felt her griping him like she was trying to break his cock off.

"Don't slow down." She said breathlessly. Quickening his speed and force, she screamed in pleasure. He bit into her shoulder, pounding into a frenzy trying to catch his release. As he found it he sucked as hard as he could into her shoulder. When he had finished he released her shoulder, dropping his head to her spine, and let out rapid breaths.

"Sated?" He asked through breaths.

"Very." She cooed. She reached into her drawer the best she could, handing him a rag. He let out a chuckle. "Hey, I learned from my mistake. I stocked the drawer with some rags for such an occasion." He slowly pulled out, suddenly feeling hollow and empty, Emma felt her eyes water. She tried to clear them, before Killian saw and thought he had been the cause of them. He was generous enough, that as he pulled out he kept the rag underneath her. He began kissing her back again. Not with the speed of before, but just simple little kisses. He stroked where he had bit her, while gently cleaning her up below. Placing a kiss to the bite,  he cleared his throat.

"You are a goddess, my dear Emma. Just magnificent. I hope you never feel like your less than that." It was all making sense to her. Why she felt so emotional after a rough session of sex with Killian. Even with as rough as he was, he never hurt her, he was only seeking her pleasure, and he had been sweet as he manhandled her. Even at his roughest, he wasn't nearly as rough as Neal had been. She had finally realized she was in love with Killian Jones. When she couldn't stop the tears, she started giggling. Killian froze as he heard the cracked laugh.

"Emma are you okay?" He leaned over to see her face.

"Did I hurt you? Emma, please answer me."

_He's worried, worried he hurt me!_

She rolled onto her side to face him, tears streaming down her nose.

"No, you didn't hurt me." She didn't know how to tell him, so for now she didn't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I messed up on any legalities, forgive me. I'm not super educated on how certain things work. :) so Emma has come to realize she is in love with Killian. About time! Hope you liked the chapter. I appreciate all the continual support and reads!


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Omg a new chapter before the 2 month mark. It was almost like pulling teeth to finish this. After my last chapter I had a pig have a litter of piglets and rejected them all. I fought and lost sleep keeping them alive. Only one made it. She's 5 weeks old! :) so I've been very distracted. I've had 500 words typed all last month. I have literally been at this chapter all Sunday until 12:30am Monday. I really hope this makes up for the delay. I wanted to give you guys a 10k chapter update, but failed. I did however type more than my average length. I have close to 7k according to the app I use. ANYWAYS without further delay I give you chapter 19!

Emma awoke disoriented and unsure of what had happened. She didn't remember falling asleep. She felt beside her, hand meeting cold sheet. Jerking up, she looked around.  
"Killian?" She pulled her phone from the bedside table. It was only three in the afternoon. She had slept a couple hours. Slipping her leggings and a sweater on, she made her way to the living room. Killian and Henry were both on the sofa watching a vulgar cartoon, one she wasn't sure she wanted him watching, but she brushed the refusal aside.  
"Hey." She said softly, breaking their eyes from the television.

  
"Good afternoon love."

  
"Did you sleep okay, mom?" She saw the darkness in Henry's eyes. The eyes that proved he knew exactly what was happening.

  
_Regina must have done a good job of explaining everything_.

"Not really, no. I almost had a nightmare again. It's what woke me." Her phone buzzed in her hand, causing her to jump.

_Regina: They said come Friday if the DNA matches they'll be setting everything up. I'll call you again then to explain everything._

She typed a quick response and turned to the guys on the couch.  
"I probably won't have you here next weekend, kid." She said defeated. Henry looked down.

  
"I'm sorry mom. It's all my fault. If I wouldn't have gone after him our life would be fine."

Emma sat beside him, wrapping an arm around him.  
"It's not your fault, Henry. Never think that, please. You wanted to know your father. There is no reason to be sorry for that. You deserve to know him, you really do. It's just really hard for me because of everything he did. I want you and him to have a relationship." She tightened her grip, pulling him into her side. Kissing his head, he pulled back.

  
"That's good enough." He joked, causing her to smile.

  
"Is there anything you want to do this weekend, before he starts to get you?" Henry looked to her then Killian.

  
"Friday I was actually wondering if I could go to the movies with someone." His face flushed a bright pink. "But Saturday we could go to the ice rink." He quickly recovered. Emma looked at him, studying his face for several seconds.

  
"Hmm. Would this movie involve going with a girl? And Saturday sounds like a deal."

  
"Uh, yeah it does. I actually asked her Monday. I figured you wouldn't mind. I still want to go skating Saturday though." She could tell he was trying to hide his excitement for his date. She looked to Killian for any reassurance that this was okay. That him going to the movies was fair. It wasn't just her life fixing to change. She wanted to hoard Henry all to herself while she could, but was that truly logical? Was that true fairness? She looked back to Henry, her face forming a warm smile.

  
"I'm definitely fine with it, Henry. I want you to have a great time." She choked back her hurt and stood up, making her way into the kitchen. She pulled out a glass, pushing it into the cubby of the fridge and filled her cup with water. Wanting any excuse to not have to look at anyone in that moment. She could feel Killian's gaze burning a hole in her back so she turned to face him. His eyes were questioning her stability, even after she nodded that she was indeed fine. She smiled faintly at how often the house seemed domestic as of late, frowning when she remembered it would be changing soon. Killian refused to stop looking at her, she could tell he just wanted to comfort her.  
All she wanted to do was push away again, it was all she knew to do when things got too hard. She loved him, she'd stopped denying it, but she wasn't sure how to let him in. After all of the let downs she'd received, how alone she always ended up. She knew he loved her and wanted to get through it with her, she wasn't sure he could handle it when things got really hard. Her gut was telling her to trust he wouldn't abandon her, but her heart and mind were too guarded to trust him fully. Something she had been battling with herself since his confession. It wasn't fair to love someone and have them not trust you.  
She sipped her water, watching the two guys on the couch. Killian had averted his gaze from her when Henry asked if he saw a scene on the TV. She watched as Killian's eyes lit up as Henry gave a belly laugh, causing him to chuckle as well. A sound that planted butterflies in her stomach every time he did it. She sat her glass on the counter and walked to the back of the couch, wrapping her arms around Killian and resting them on his chest, her head resting in the crook of his neck she sighed.

  
"Thank you for being here. It means a lot." She whispered. He brought his hand to cup the back of her head.

  
"I wouldn't want to be anywhere else, love..." He gave a pause, his pulse increasing slightly. He smiled at her, eyes still on the television. She raised a brow and leaned back.

  
"Were you going to say more?" She asked, genuinely confused. He turned towards her.

  
"Aye, but I'd like not to scare you off. You have that look in your eyes again." He came off playful but she could sense his concern. She placed a kiss to his temple and patted his chest before walkling back to her bedroom to charge her phone. She plugged her phone in and turned to find Killian propped against the door frame. She let out a sigh, knowing he would demand her to talk.

  
"Killian, I'm fine I'm just mentally exhausted." He gave her an unbelieving look and shook his head.

  
"That's not why I came in here." She gave him an unsure look, urging him to continue.  
"Why do you have that startled look in your eyes, Emma? Like you're ready to haul ass at the first chance?" She scoffed, before giving him a defensive stance.

  
"I do not, like I said I'm exhausted. Perhaps my expression is coming off wrong, I don't know." She wrapped her arms around herself, avoiding eye contact.

  
"Are you worried about what I was going to add to what I told you?" He remained along the door, his arms folded firmly against his own chest.

  
"No, like I've tried telling you-"

  
"Yeah, yeah, exhausted. You don't have to repeat yourself. You've got that runner look in your eyes though. You can lie to yourself and to Henry but I see it. Talk to me, darling. You can trust me with whatever is bothering you."

  
"I trust you." The words came out jumbled, quick, and blatantly false. She blushed at that.

  
"You don't trust me? Why not?" His brows pinched together, a firm line forming a barrier between them. His eyes taking on a darker shade than moments before. She shuffled.

  
"It's not that I don't trust you." She tried to finish, but the words abandoned her.

  
"Then what is it? I'm right here, Emma. I haven't left you high and dry, I've not abandoned you to fight this battle on your own. I've told you my secrets, I've given you my heart. What else can I fucking do to prove I'm not like the others.That I'm here?" He tried to keep his voice low enough that Henry couldn't hear. Emma walked to him, pulling him into the room and shut the door.

  
"What are you talking about?" She finally asked. He looked confused.

  
"Neal and Walsh. Who else would I be talking about?" She shook her head.

  
"How the hell do you know about Walsh?" Her eyes darted back and forth to each of his.

  
"You told me about him a few nights ago. I'm assuming by the look on your face you were too drunk to remember." He raked his hand over his scruff, scratching his neck where the hair ends. Her face turned red, and her eyes began to water.  
"Hey, hey, hey, it's okay." He approached her, both hands on her shoulders. She shivered out of his grip.

  
"Stop."

  
"No, I won't let you push yourself away from me. I don't deserve that, Emma." He stepped closer, reaching for her again. She swatted at his hand.

  
"Just stop. You don't get it."

  
"What don't I get?"

  
"I lose everything! I've lost my innocence, I'm losing my child, I've lost every relationship I've ever been in. It's just a matter of time before you decide this is too much to handle and abandon me as well."  
He shook his head.

  
"What part of 'I love you' don't you understand Emma?"

  
"Walsh said he loved me too and he still abandoned me. Abandoned Henry."

  
"Are you afraid I'll hurt Henry?" His expression turned hurt. "Haven't I told you I have no plans of hurting either of you? You and Henry are the closest thing to a family I have here."

  
"Maybe so, but no one deserves to have to come into a family and deal with what is happening. You act like you don't care, but you do. I see it in your eyes. You don't like having to deal with all of this."

  
"That's not what my expression says in the least. That's just what you want it to say. My expression says you shouldn't have to deal with this. And most certainly not alone. I want you to let me in all the way. Let me be the rock you need." He cupped her elbow and pulled her towards him. She fell into his chest, feeling a little bit lighter. Holding in her own secret was weighing her down just far enough. She wanted to tell him, but felt the time still wasn't right. She opted for a tight embrace, listening to the beat of his heart as he stroked her spine. She wanted to trust him, God did she want to. She knew he wasn't lying, but people change and so do desires. It was only normal to still be guarded, right?  
She pulled away first giving him a chaste kiss before opening the door and heading back into the living room, leaving Killian to pine with his own thoughts. He emerged quite a while later.

  
"You okay? You were in there quite a while." Emma asked, hoping her voice wasn't accusatory.

  
"Aye, I received a call from Elsa. She wants to bring the kids down. Had to figure out when would be best for both of us. I'm going to head out, I need to start preparing my house for them. Baby proofing, making it safe. Clean up the spare room. I'll text you later if that's okay?" He avoided eye contact with her, not wanting to see the hurt they possessed. Had he not just said he wanted to be her rock when she needed it? She definitely needed a rock at the moment.

  
"Okay, yeah. Just message me when they're coming and everything." She didn't want to push to meet them, but the fact that he didn't specify their planned arrival made it appear he didn't want her involved. She gave him a kiss and walked him to the door, hoping he would assure her she was invited. When he didn't and pulled out of the driveway she couldn't fight the tears back. She didn't even try to keep them from falling.

* * *

**Friday**

The phone is what woke her from her dream, and damn it she had finally had a good one. One that involved sitting around a table with Henry, Killian, his sister-in-law, and her two children chatting and laughing at funny stories.  
Emma slapped for her phone until her palm hit the target. She slid to answer and pulled the phone to her face.  
"Hello?" Her raspy voice asked.

  
"Hey, it's me. Just calling to let you know DNA is a match. They're going to start what was settled immediately. He will get Henry starting next weekend, you will receive your first child support check Monday. If you want it direct deposited just run by the court and give them your bank information. I highly recommend that route. If you don't you likely won't see money until Thursday. Just thought I would let you know." A long sigh escaped Emma's lips.

  
"Thanks Regina, I really appreciate your help. I'll call you later today, okay?"

  
"Sure thing, love you. Talk to you later."

  
Emma hung up first, pulling open her conversation with Killian. All he had messaged her Wednesday night was goodnight. Thursday she just received a good morning, a sorry for not calling or texting, that he was busy at work, and a goodnight. He had sent her another good morning this morning. She rolled her eyes, she could physically feel the pulling away he was doing.

_You're being irrational, he's an officer. He's just busy._

She decided to silently cry while she was alone with her thoughts. It wasn't quite eight am yet, so she remained in bed. Henry was already gone, and August was likely on a run. She cursed herself for being so upset over a man. She turned her thoughts to Henry, he had his first date with a girl from school. She was glad at least this event Neal couldn't steal. This was also her last weekend before going back to work. She groaned at the thought of having to go back to waiting tables. She wanted more for Henry and more for herself. She decided to take a quick shower and do as Regina recommended. If Neal was taking Henry, she deserved a share for taking away their time. He deserved to lose hundreds a month.

* * *

As she pulled back to the house she noticed a familiar car parked in the driveway. She furrowed her brows, her lips turned down. Releasing a sound of disapproval she got out of her car, slamming the door as she did.  
"What the hell do you want?" She spat.

  
"Nice to see you too Emma. I wanted to talk." She looked around, August's truck was still in the driveway but it was still early. He had to still be out on his run. The thought of being alone with Neal for any length of time didn't settle well with her. Her eyes finally settled on the front door, releasing a shaken breath she nodded.

"Come on then."  
"Do you want anything to drink?" She asked as she watched him make himself at home on the couch.

  
"What have you got?" He grinned.

  
"Water, soda, milk, juice, coffee."

  
"Water is fine." She poured him a glass and sat on the love seat.

  
"What did you want to talk about?" She kept her eyes on him, not wanting to be surprised by any sudden movements. He set the cup on the coaster that rest on the coffee table.

  
"They say everything is done and set in stone. He's mine, and I'll start getting to see him."

  
"And? We both knew that was going to happen. "

  
"Do you know how much I make annually?" She watched his expression, looking for a reason to his question.

  
"No, should I?"

  
"It's important yes. You see right now I'm going to have to pay you two hundred dollars weekly. That is just eight hundred a month. That doesn't even scratch what I make a month. After we set this up and I've proven more than worthy to be in his life, they're going to up the amount. Are you prepared for what you'll be getting for sharing our child?"

  
"Money isn't an issue." She quickly replied.

  
"Oh but it is, sweet Emma. You'll never have to work again with what they'll be sucking from me. Can I ask you a question?" The tone of his question made her uneasy causing her to shift in her seat, her heart beating rapidly away before nodding.  
"Did you meet your current boyfriend through work? I don't mean from the diner, I mean from your escort service." Emma's eyes widened and her mouth fell open. "I do hope you'll remove such work from your resume for the sake of Henry. I really don't want him finding out about that little tidbit." She choked on her words, her throat turning dry.  
"Well?" He asked, as if he were asking about the weather. She just stared at him.  
"So, I'm assuming you did?"

  
"No." She finally spoke. "Why does it matter where I met him?"

  
"I'd just like to know about the man that will be spending a lot of time with my son is all."  
She pulled out her phone and texted August.

_E: Where are you? Need you here asap._

She knew he wouldn't see the message until he was finished running, but she hoped he was close.  
"Your aura has changed to hostile. I need you to leave."

  
"Hostile how? I'm just making small talk."

  
"Which I didn't welcome you into my home for. I'm going to have to ask you to leave."

  
"I wasn't really finished talking." She stood first, heading to the front door. He was at her back in seconds, pushing her into the wood with his hips.

  
"Neal, get off of me." She wanted to sound brave, but her voice trembled. He thrusted into her again, his fingers curled around her wrists behind her back.

  
"I just wanted to talk, Emma. You don't have to make it impossible." His free hand snaked around to her belly. He slid under the hem of her shirt and caressed her belly, causing whimpers to escape her lips. She was frozen unable to move as his hands explored the flesh beneath her clothes. Silent tears streamed down her face. She had a child she couldn't struggle and risk death a second time for. She felt his erection pressed against her ass. She closed her eyes, hoping it would speed things up when he pulled away. She felt a gush of cool air along her back that caused her to open her eyes. He waited until she pulled herself from the door to make his leave. He walked to his car a smirk on his face when he looked back at her.  
"Four grand Emma, that's how much you'll get if this parenting goes undisputed. Play by the rules and you'll never have to work again. It'll be like you always thought, me taking care of you." He gave her a wink before climbing in his vehicle and pulling away. When he was out of distance she crumbled to the floor.

* * *

August ran into the driveway looking distraught, his expression seemingly more afraid as he saw her on the floor.  
"Emma! Are you all right?" He crouched to her level and raised her to her feet.

  
"Neal came by. He told me some things, he, he..."

  
"He what, Emma?! Did he?"

  
"No, but he pretended like he was going to. He knows things about me he shouldn't." She was staring into the distance.

  
"Let's get you to bed."

  
"No, it's noon. I don't need sleep. Sleep doesn't fix everything for me. Why does everyone think laying down fixes me?"

  
"You don't need fixed Emma, but when you've gone through trauma or extreme stress sleep helps your brain. You don't realize it, but your brain gets tired. That's why we lay you down."

  
"Are you implying I can't handle the stress of shared parenting. What millions of women do daily?"

  
"No, but I'm sure the number is small to those that do shared parenting with their rapist."

  
"We wouldn't know, if it wasn't proven the court doesn't add that in."

  
"You don't have to shout at me Em, I'm your friend. I'm not here to be against you." She frowned at his expression.

  
"I'm sorry, I'm just emotional. Killian hasn't spoken to me in days, Neal comes around and jumbles my head, it's just depressing."

  
"Did you guys have a fight?" He suddenly asked concerned.

  
"Yes, but we made up and that's all you need to know."

  
"You're the one that brought it up." He shot back. "You need to call Killian. Tell him what happened. That's all I'm going to say on it." He replaced his headphones back into the groove of his ears and walked to the kitchen, leaving her to pine over what he had said. She grabbed her phone and looked at Killian's icon. It was noon, he may be on lunch now. The fact that he hadn't texted made her feel he couldn't be free to talk. She sighed and pocketed her phone. A run would clear her head.

* * *

After her run, she decided to grab lunch at the diner. When she walked in she was surprised to see Killian at a booth. At a booth with a brunette. She froze, stomach twisted as he laughed at whatever the woman had said. She fought the tears with everything she had, why hadn't Ruby told her he was here, and with another woman! She decided to pretend she didn't see him, walking to the bar.  
"Ruby?" She called, a bouncing Ruby approaching.

  
"Hey, Em! What can I get for you? Usual?"

  
"Why are you so bouncy?" Emma looked annoyed. Ruby's expression dropped.

  
"Why the attitude?" She snapped. Suddenly Emma felt a prickly mouth on her jaw.

  
"Well hello, love. Fancy meeting you here." Emma recoiled, shoving him off.

  
"Seriously? Are you being serious right now?" Her eyes darted to the brunette in the booth he previously sat in. His eyes followed hers, chuckling when he saw his booth mate smile. Emma's bottom lip quivered at his inconsideration.

  
"Emma? What's wrong?" He asked, all humor removed from his expression.

  
"What are we doing Killian? Are we done?" She choked out.

  
"Why would you say that? Why would you think that? Of course not, if its because we haven't spoken much I'm sorry. I told you I was getting my house ready. I've been working fifteen hour shifts and fixing up the house when I'm not working. I'm sorry if you feel neglected, it wasn't my intention."

  
"But have time for lunch dates?" She wrapped her arms around herself. He looked back over his shoulder.

  
"Oh God, love I'm sorry. I'm having lunch with Elsa's sister. She works in Michigan and when she heard Elsa was flying in she wanted to be here. She got in this morning and asked if I could have lunch with her. She is staying here at the Inn while she's here." Emma's face remained visibly hurt.  
"Did you hear me?"

  
"Yes, I heard you."

  
"Hey, I'm Anna. You must be Emma, right?!" The girl was bubbly and excited, and Emma just felt foolish. She couldn't say she wasn't jealous still, but he had mentioned her to Anna.

  
"Yeah, sorry I'm so sweaty. I've been running." Emma held out her hand, only to have the woman pull her into a hug. Killian gave her a smile.

  
"She's a bit eccentric. She's Elsa's younger sister. She's a private investigator in Michigan. Her fiancé has his own car lot."

  
"Why didn't he come with you?" Emma blurted.

  
"Him and Killian don't really see eye to eye." She laughed, Emma just watched this bubbly woman. Ruby appeared with a greasy sack in hand.

  
"Nice to meet you, but I have to go. I need to eat and grab a shower. Killian, I guess I'll talk to you when you're free." The sting in her words catching even Anna's attention. She left the diner to be whipped around by Killian's hand on her arm.

  
"Have I done something?" He dropped his grip to rest on her wrist.

  
"Can you not right now?" She mumbled.

  
"Look, I cannot help you if you won't even tell me what it is I've done."

  
"I'm just stressed, I'm..."

  
"Now I don't have your super power but you're lying." He leaned closer to her. "Please just tell me what I've done so I can fix it."

  
"You haven't done anything." She sighed, "and that's the problem. You have family coming in and I just. I don't want to be jealous or spiteful about it, I just don't feel included. I've been including you with Henry. I've tried to make you feel welcome." He wrinkled his forehead.

  
"Do you think I don't want you there? Of course I want you to come, Emma. She wasn't certain of the day so I didn't want to ask you just yet. I'm sorry that my intention wasn't clear. God Emma, I feel like a git now!" He pulled her into his chest and kissed the top of her head. "They want to meet you anyways, I couldn't not invite you if I wanted to." He chuckled.

  
"Okay well now I feel stupid. I'd like to talk later if you have a chance. It's about Neal. He came by today. I know you get short lunches so I'll let you finish up with Anna."

  
"Yeah, okay. I'll see you tonight. Come by my ship." He connected their lips for a brief moment, groaning when he pulled away.

  
"You still look amazing in that uniform." She teased, "I'll see you on your ship around eight. I have to drop Henry off at the movies by seven. I'll be by there when I'm done."

  
"Do you want me to drop you off? Anna and I were finished eating anyways. I haven't seen you in days."

  
"Something tells me you've seen her even less. I don't want to impose."

  
"You could never, darling." He gave her a playful wink before holding up a finger. "Wait here, I'm going to tell her I'm running you back home." He darted inside, while Emma munched on her onion rings. In a moment he was behind her.  
"Sort of counterproductive in'it? Going for a run only to eat greasy onion rings." He asked into her hair, receiving a snort from her.

  
"Not when I don't run to stay fit, but to clear my head." She popped another bite into her mouth with a grin.

  
"Fair enough, c'mon."

* * *

The ride home was filled with silence, smiles, and touches. The drive was painfully short, but Emma had every plan of making it worth the drive. As soon as he hit the brakes she was in his lap. A quick grunt is replaced by a smirk, which was quicky covered by her own lips. She rocked into him as she stroked his tongue with hers. He slid one hand down her back and the other up her neck. She let out a moan and rocked with more force, scraping her nails through his hair.  
"Mmm, love." He said breaking away. "I need to get back to work. We can finish this tonight, yeah?" She whined into his neck before nipping it. He let out a growl, his erection pressed firmly into his uniform pants.  
"You dirty girl. Later, I promise. Now go shower, do whatever you do when you've got time, and take Henry to his date. I'll see you before you know it. You can tell me about this Neal business and then we can get down to the dirty work." He winked. The mention of Neal caused her to tense in his lap.  
"You all right? Do you need to tell me about him before then?" Concern replaced the playful tone he shared moments before. She shook her head.

  
"It's fine, you won't like a lot of it." She gave him another kiss, eyes locked on his as she did. She slid off of his lap and grabbed her greasy paper sack.

 _Soon_ She thought.

* * *

Henry was nervous, as expected. Emma helped him pick his outfit and gave him forty dollars. She wasn't aware until they were leaving that she was to pick the girl up as well. She watched as Henry walked to the door, smiling at her nervousness. The girl was sweet, and as she learned not the girl he had been getting into trouble for. A fact that she was grateful for. She dropped them off and headed to her own date, nerves filling her up as well.

* * *

She pulled into the dock to find his car already parked.  
_Antsy are we?_  
She smirked at the thought of his impatience. She'd been feeling so insecure she hadn't thought about how he was feeling during his absence. She walked across the wood, the rock of the water shifting it with every step.  
"Permission to come aboard captain?" She called playfully. She noticed a mop of brown hair appear and then she saw the grin. He welcomed her with a kiss and a minor squeeze to her ass. He offered her a drink that she happily accepted.

  
"So did everything with Henry go okay?" He asked before taking a swig of his own beverage.

  
"Yeah, he was a nervous wreck. It was adorable, and the girl is sweet." She could spot small talk a mile off and the look in his eyes proved all he wanted to know about was Neal.  
"And Neal came by. I went to the courthouse to change my payment type and when I got back he was waiting. He told me I'm going to be getting four thousand from him every month before long. But only if we don't fight and I play by his rules. He..." She took a swig of her drink before looking him in the eyes. "He forced me into the door and groped me." She noted how his pupils darkened. "He was asking about you and I got defensive. He seemed to change so I wanted him to leave."

  
"Emma, you don't have to tolerate that. Why didn't you call me?"

  
"You had been so busy working I didn't think you'd have the time. I texted August and he arrived shortly after. I want to be as civil as I can without endangering Henry or me. It just feels impossible." She knocked her glass back.

  
"He's jealous of your life Emma. That much is clear, you have a child who wants to be a part of your life, a boyfriend who tries to hang the moon for you, and a large group of friends." He smiled setting his bottle on the table.  
"You know, we've not fucked on my ship yet. And you're looking more than appetizing. Care to finish what we started?" He gave her a salacious grin, the look that always sends chills down her spine. She walked over to him, throwing her hips as she did.

  
"You're right, we haven't." She slid her hand up his chest, gripping his jaw in her hand and meeting her mouth with his. He met her pace evenly, the urgency painfully obvious. He looped his fingers in her belt loops and yanked her forward. He broke the kiss to trail nips down to where her flesh ended and her collar began. She tossed her head back, purring as he sank his teeth into her neck.  
"God yes, I've missed you." She cooed pressing her chest forward. "Are you trying to make me a dalmatian? My mouth is up here."

  
"I'm aware. I'm making a statement." He moved to her jaw, licking along her jawline before finding his way to her ear.

  
"Oh yeah, what kind of statement? The only statement I'm seeing is the one where you make your girlfriend wet her panties. Fuck Killian." He chucked and pulled away.

  
"The statement that your body already belongs to a man and that if any other man dare tries to plant himself between your pretty little thighs he'll have me to answer to." His statement was bold, dark, and full of promises that he means what he's saying. She slammed her lips back into his, teeth clanking. She attempted to wrap her legs around his hips, only to have him grab her throat and back her onto the table. She arched her back up off of the table. He grabbed his bottle, taking another drink before dropping the empty bottle to the floor. He caressed her neck with the thumb of the hand that grasped it.  
"You should remove your clothes before I shred them off of you." He warned. Without watching to see if she followed his advice he pulled off his own clothing. She was bare before him before he finished, legs spread eagle, eyebrow raised. His cock sprang to attention.  
"Very good. By the time I'm finished with you, you won't have a place unmarked." He pressed forward, kissing her quick and sloppily before yanking her down, her ass at the edge of the table. Without a warning he drove into her. She let out a pleasured scream, her back again curving off of the table. His grip on her hips bruising as pounded into her. He slowed just enough to take a breast into his mouth, biting just hard enough to cause her to release a whimper.  
"You like me taking what I want?" He asked with another thrust. "Worrying about only my pleasure?" He thrust again.

  
"Yes." She breathed. He took her mouth in his again. She curled her feet around his waist and held him tight. "Don't stop, please." She begged.

  
"You know I must say, jealousy is a lovely shade on you. The look on your face when you saw me having lunch with Anna. I could have taken you right there in the diner. Fucking Goddess, you are." He bit into her shoulder causing her to cry out.

  
"And you wouldn't say you're jealous, Jones?" The nickname causing his cock to twitch inside of her.

  
"Jealous? Of who?" He increased his force squeezing her hips tighter.

  
"Don't even play. You are jealous of Neal. Why else would you feel the need to mark me as your own? To take me the way you are. As if you need to remind me that my body is yours and yours alone." He pressed his forehead into hers, panting puffs of air along her nose.

  
"It seems you need reminding darling, if you thought I could so easily leave you. As if you haven't completely taken ownership of my body and soul. Silly girl."

  
"Killian, I...."

_Is it time? Is it too soon?_

"Am I hurting you?" He loosened his grip on her hips and tried to back away, only to have her hold him in place.

  
"No, I..." She let out a breath. "Come home with me tonight?"

  
"Of course. My house is ready for Elsa and the kids so I have no other plans tonight. I'm off tomorrow." He thrusted into her again picking up his speed.  
"I will be fucking you later though, just so we are clear." He added, a final sporadic thrust causing him to quiver above her. She loved being able to watch him come. To watch as his mouth involuntarily falls open and his eyes flutter. She notes how he holds his breath until she no longer fills him pumping inside of her. To see the way his arm muscles jerk. He was pure perfection and she refused to deny it. She pulled him to her, mouth meeting mouth. Like puzzle pieces connecting and fitting together perfectly. The moments she lived for.  
"How long before you pick up Henry and his girlfriend?" He asked as he slid his finger along her ribs.

  
"Thirty minutes." She groaned.

  
"Then you best start getting dressed." He teased as he lightly kissed her hip bone.

  
"Then don't make it unbearable." She giggled. She sat up on the table and gestured for her clothes.

* * *

Henry and Violet were waiting outside of the theater when Emma pulled up. Henry beamed when he noticed Killian in the passengers seat.  
"Killian! Haven't seen you in days. Are you spending the night? This is Violet." The girl shyly smiled.

  
"Aye I'm staying the night if that's okay with you."

  
"Yeah, that's fine."

* * *

They walked through the door and bid Henry a goodnight. Emma had asked twenty questions once Violet was out of the car. Laying in bed with Killian her heart was full. She felt safe. She leaned further into him before turning her head to face him.  
"How did I get so lucky?" She swooned. He let out a warm chuckle and kissed her nose.

  
"I ask myself the same thing." She turned in his arms to face him fully. Running her fingers through his scruff she smiled. "What is it, love?"

  
"Nothing, I'm just thinking of how you've managed to make me fall madly in love with you. I love you Killian Jones." And she hadn't thought she has ever seen him smile bigger. He kissed her then and took her for round two, as promised.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I don't know how often I'll be updating. The anniversary of my father's death is quicky approaching and I still have to tend to the piglet often. Still not abandoning this fic so just hang with me :) I love the support!!!!


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Killian's point of view! Lemme know if you like there being an entire chapter of his POV or if I should just stick to Emma :) hey chapter super early. I'm fixing to be moving so I'm not sure how often I'll be updating. Want to update when I can though. Also almost 10k word this chapter! :) that's almost 5k extra. 
> 
> I *almost* had a freak out. I type my story on an app and copy and paste it here and 2/3 of this chapter disappeared and it took me 30 mins to find it. Hopefully that doesn't happen again!

Killian jerked awake, the warmth of Emma slowing his racing heart. He let out a long sigh and rubbed his eyes. Grabbing his phone to check the time he groaned.

_Three. Great._

He slid his finger along the phone and pulled open his conversation with Elsa.

_K: Morning. Decided what day you'll be flying in?_

Her response was instant.

_E: It's still night there Killy, something got you stirred? I was thinking about Tuesday. I'm dreading flying with the kids, not sure how they'll do._

_K: Another nightmare, nothing serious or to worry about. Wee ones will do fine, they'll surprise you. I bet Julie is the most excited?_

_E: Of course. She hasn't seen you in almost a year. She claims her husband is going to be just like her Uncle Killy. You should get some rest, Killian._

_K: I know, I'm going to after I take a quick shower. Clear my head, give myself enough time to not have my dream pick up where it left off._

_E: Good, can't wait to see you. Love you._

_K: Love you too._

Killian set his phone back down before slipping over Emma. He kissed her glabella and grabbed his bag. While he dug, Emma stirred.

"Killian?" Her raspy voice called.

"I'm here, go back to sleep. I'm going to take a quick shower, was just getting some clothes from my bag."

"Why are you taking a shower?" The raspy confusion on her voice making him chuckle.

"To clear my head, like you with running."

Emma sat up and ran her hands through her hair.

"Something happen? Why do you need to clear your head?"

"Well I didn't want to wake you at three in the morning to talk about it, I wanted to let you sleep. Just bad dreams, love."

"I didn't realize you had bad dreams." She almost whispered.

"We've all got demons, Emma." He lightly reminded. He stood up and walked back to the bed, " I'll be back in a second." He leaned forward pressing a firm but gentle kiss to her lips. She pressed forward asking permission to enter his mouth, which he gladly allowed. He groaned into her mouth.

"How do you always do that?" He asked.

"Do what?" She asked, running her hand through his bed head.

"Arouse me up." He said through a grin. "You're making me second guess that shower."

"Then don't take one." She said seductively, a devilish grin on her face. He kissed her again, slowly applying his weight and pushing her back on the bed. His hands roamed her body and caused her to tremble in his grasp. He teased her skin, forcing her flesh to take on goosebumps. She sighed into his mouth, his hips keeping her pressed firmly into the mattress. He pulled his mouth away just far enough to grab her bottom lip between his teeth. He gave her a gentle bite before releasing her lip. She looked wrecked and it made his heart blow up in his chest. He thrusted his hips into her, grinning when she noticed he was far ready for her. She gave him a smile. He lifted off of her and sat up.

"What are you doing?" She suddenly asked. He chuckled at her concern.

"I'm going to take care of you. In case you don't remember I didn't focus on your pleasure earlier. I intended to, but got carried away." He said shyly, his hand finding the back of his ear again.

"My pleasure consists of your body and mine entwining together, Killian."

"Aye, but you must admit it's nice having the deep pleasure happening to only you." He gripped her panties and slowly pulled them off, rubbing her legs as he moved. He tossed them to the floor and kissed his way up her legs, lingering at her thighs.

"Pretty sure I said I was going to mark you all up. These legs are looking mighty bare." While sucking her thighs he crept his hand to her wet flesh. The pleasure of a gentle caress with the force of suction caused her to throw her head back. Licking his way up he met his hand with his tongue. He groaned as his mouth closed over her lips, his tongue grazing her opening as it made its way to her clit.

"Did you wake up like this love or did it just happen?" He asked between strokes of his tongue. Just as she was about to answer he slipped his tongue inside of her, his thumb pressing circles into her sensitive bud. Her hands flew to his hair, her fingers gripping his hair tightly. Her body quivered under his grasp. He quickened his pace as she uncontrollably began to hump his face. When her body spasmed he gave her a final lick, cleaning her of all the liquids her body had produced for him. He kissed his way up her body, his boxers pulled down just below his cock and ass.

He didn't want to take her by surprise again so he grazed it across her mound before giving her a searing kiss. As their tongues mingled he gently pushed himself inside, moaning into her mouth as he did. She raised her legs onto her feet on either side of his body, nails finding the skin of his back. She broke their kiss to find her way to his neck. He thrusts became harder as she sucked her own marks into his neck and collar. He grabbed one of her legs and moved it to rest on his shoulder, allowing him to sink even deeper, to hit the spot that makes her lose control. Her gasps and moans became instantaneous. He pressed harder, his pace quickening, both of their moans filling the room, neither caring if the entire house heard them. A hand to his chest stopped him.

"What's a matter, love?"

"Nothing, I just want to finish doggy if that's okay with you?" She cocked an eyebrow, daring him to have a problem with it. He could find no such thing, the view of her with her ass popped out to him, practically begging for his cock to be inside of her had him more than okay with it.

"Not at all." He pulled out, lowering her leg, and backing up so she could sit up and turn around. As she did, he gave himself a moment to enjoy his view. Her back dipped beautifully, her ass proudly in the air, and her breasts so low her nipples graze the bedsheet. He makes an inaudible sound before caressing her back all the way down to her ass.

"Like what you see?" She laughed.

"Patience, love." He slid his hand back up her back and sliding aound her ribs to her chest. Palming a breasts he gently squeezed, grabbing her nipple and giving it a light squeeze and twist. She moaned just as he knew she would. Kissing a trail down her back this time, he stops at a dimple in her hip deciding to mark it as well. As he finished he lined himself back up, feeling that her body had produced more slick fluids for him.

"You're practically dripping for me, Emma. I'm flattered." She just pushed her ass into him in response. He grasped his cock, gliding it over her slit a few times before pressing into her. He loved being able to watch as he entered her, and the position made it one of the easiest. He grabbed her hips and slowly increased his speed and pressure. As he quickened to a hard, forceful state her moans began to echo off of the walls. The sound causing him to toss his head back. She was so warm, so tight and wet even his mind fell over the edge. He hardly felt his orgasm approaching until it was too late to give her a warning, spilling himself inside of her he panted.

"Sorry for not warning you of an impending explosion." He joked. Her arms had buckled so she laid with her head on the pillow and her arms splayed above her head.

"It's definitely okay." She giggled. He reached into the bedside table drawer, grabbing a rag and propping it underneath him. As he pulled out he grazed the rag over his shaft the best he could. Once removed he carefully pressed it over her opening.

"I'll let you handle the rest." He felt her hand touch his and he pulled away. "Definitely beats a shower." He laughed, causing her to laugh as well.

"Want to talk about your dream?" She almost whispered. She wanted in. He had all but begged her to let him in, how hypocritical would it be to keep her out.

"It was about Milah." He confessed. "And Liam. It was mostly a recount of their deaths but with a twist. I wasn't Milah's first husband, I've forgotten the blokes name she mentioned. In my dream she told me our child wasn't mine but his. She had mentioned being engaged at one point to someone during our relationship, not in the dream. I was distraught, I received no closure as she told me. And then I saw her death occur again." He stopped to breathe as he felt her snake her hands around him. He sighed before continuing.

"I dreamt I saw Liam die, I wasn't there when he was shot down but it felt so real. So much blood." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Killian. Do you have these dreams often?" He gently stroked her hand that rested on his chest.

"Not often, no. Two or three times a year at most. I texted Elsa as soon as I woke. I wanted to tell her I dreamt of him, but I knew it would upset her so I just changed the subject. I want to talk to her about him more than I can explain, but I don't want to cause her pain. Her boy, Logan, he looks identical to my brother and I know that is bittersweet to her."

"Let's go back to bed, okay? We have a skating date in five hours." She reminded. He gave her a nod, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

"You're right, love."

* * *

 

"Henry, have you seen my shoes?"

Killian's eyes popped open. He raised his head off of the pillow and breathed a heavy breath. Looking to his left he noticed an empty bed. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. Sitting up he grabbed his phone off of the table, a message from Elsa flashing on the screen.

_E: Finally get some sleep?_

He thought about the time difference before typing a message back.

_K: Aye, I did._

_E: What were are these nightmares you're having and why haven't you mentioned them before?_

_K: I was foolish to message you about them, please don't be concerned about them._

_E: Killian_

He could practically hear her voice as he read the message, he chuckled.

_K: It had Liam in it, and Milah. Just horrid things, Elsa._

_E: Oh..._

_K: Yes, now if you'll excuse me I need to shower. I'm going skating with Emma and Henry today._

_E: Didn't you take a shower just six hours ago?_

_K: not quite ;)_

_E: Killian Thomas Jones!!!_

_K: Hey now! I can't help I'm devilishly handsome._

_E: you're too much. I'll text you when we are about to board the plane. Love you, have fun!_

_K: Love you too_

He chuckled again and looked up to find Emma watching him.

"Good morning, love. You're up and ready early."

"I'm surprised you didn't hear Henry come in here this morning. Thank God I was covered up. He burst in like a solid ball of energy. Get up and get ready. We leave in forty five." She closed the door, leaving him to himself again. He rifled through his bag, pulling out what he had brought for the day. His thoughts drifted to wondering if this is what he would have been doing had his wife and child survived. Shaking his head he made his way into the bathroom. He showered quickly, wasting no time to get lost in thought. As he was brushing his teeth he scoffed.

"Bloody hell." He said jerking his chin up, examining the marks Emma had made sure to leave. He ran his free hand over them and shook his head. He hadn't even thought to see how visibly marked she was and he laughed wondering if she had the same reaction this morning. He rolled his eyes, his vision locking on a box in the trash.

_Pregnancy test?_

He grabbed the box searching for the test. At the bottom of the can lay the test. He was about to grab it when Emma called him. He entered the living room with both Emma and Henry smiling in his direction.

"Ready?" He asked. "We will be eating sometime today right?"

"We got donuts this morning, but yeah there's a pizza place where we will be at." Henry beamed.

* * *

 

The rink was mostly empty, with the exception of a family and two couples.

"Have you ever skated?" Henry asked, looking up to Killian. He shook his head in response looking to Emma.

"You'll keep me from making a fool of myself, right love?" He asked nervously. She grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"Just have to pick a partner that knows what they're doing."

While he was ready for ice skates, he wasn't ready for how tight Emma had laced them.

"Bloody hell, do you have to make it so tight?"

"Yes, it's for your own good. It's to keep your ankles from buckling." When she finished she helped him stand, Henry laughed behind her at how wobbly he stood.

"See you guys on the ice." Henry called before darting to the cold rink. 

"He moves quick." Killian commented.

"And even faster on the ice. I've tried getting him to join the hockey team, but he refuses."

* * *

 

They spent an hour getting him used to gliding on the ice. He was glad Emma was taking this seriously and not letting him fall. As he learned the basics he felt more confident, picking up his speed.

"You may not want to go too fast. You'll bust your ass."

"Are you worried about me, Swan?" He teased. Just as he finished saying her name he slipped. His fall resembling a cartoon, and because he was holding her hand he pulled her down with him. He started laughing, tossing his head back onto the cool ice.

"C'mon, it's time to grab some lunch." She pushed off of the ice and held out her hand for him to take. They slide to the door that led to the sitting area and waited for Henry to make his lap back around to them. A laugh escaped him and Emma looked at him in confusion.

"What is so funny?"

"I'd forgotten you marked me several times and I'd wondered what you looked like. Just now catching a glimpse."

"Oh, that. That was fun explaining to Henry, August laughed at me. I look just as I said I would. A dalmatian." She rolled her eyes. He smiled at her, leaning in to steal a kiss.

"What?" She asked when he just looked at her.

"You look happy, I'm happy I won't lie. But you, I don't know that I've ever seen you this happy." He commented. She frowned and looked at the rink.

"Did I say something?" He quickly asked.

"No, you're right. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and it just makes me a little sad that I don't have many truly happy moments like this. Henry knows I enjoy the rink, but it's a statement. When he was little he wanted to skate so bad and he was having such a hard time keeping up and figuring it out. I had told him, be patient. That I'd always be right there to help him, and to pick him up when he fell. That in time he would be able to do it like a pro. I think he's wanting me to know the same thing."

"Quite the lad you have there then." He pulled her into his side and stroked her shoulder. "You're a strong woman, Emma. You can overcome anything."

"Get a room!" Henry's playful tone echoed as he skated up. "Ready for lunch already?" He asked.

* * *

 

Killian found them a table while Emma and Henry ordered the pizza. As he waited he couldn't help but let him mind travel to envisioning Milah and their unborn in every aspect he was experiencing. He felt selfish and inconsiderate imaging his girlfriend as a past lover and Henry as the child he never had, but his mind was winning the race.

"Hey, everything okay" Emma's voice pulled him back to the life he was living. he looked up at her with a grin.

"Aye, my eyes must have gotten stuck." Emma frowned at him.

"Your mind as well then. I've only mentioned your name a few times."

"I'm fine, Emma." He looked down at the food trays they had brought back, full of food that could easily feed four people. They ate mostly in silence, listening to Henry talk about how excited he was to meet more English people as he called it.

"Sorry to say, but Elsa and Logan don't have the English accent. Julie however, it's one thing she's always had. She's also in school so she has kept it. Logan is with Elsa a lot so he speaks more like her."

They decided to look in some shops at the mall before heading back to the house, Henry found a bracelet for Violet as they were walking out.

* * *

 

"Thanks for the suggestion Henry, I had a good time today."Killian said, looking into the rear view mirror with a smile.

As they pulled into the driveway, Killian cleared his throat. "You go on ahead, Henry I need to talk to your mum for a moment." Henry looked to Emma and back to Killian.

"Uh, okay sure." Henry slid out of the car, looking back once before closing the front door behind him.

"Am I in trouble?" She asked with an awkward laugh.

"No, no, none of that. I just didn't know if you'd want Henry to know what day. Elsa had told me when she is flying out. I told you I'd let you know when she did. She's flying out Monday, but won't be here until Tuesday morning. I have work tomorrow and Monday, but they're giving me Tuesday and Wednesday off to get her settled in. They've not promised me anymore days but those this coming week, but I'm going to try and get Friday." She nodded, taking in what all he had said.

"When do you want us there? I go back to work this week, I'll need to see if I'm off any of those days, but probably not. Hopefully I'll have early shifts so I'll have the afternoon and night." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "What is it?" She asked, folding her arms.

"I just thought with you getting money for Henry, you might extend your break from the diner."

"Killian, I can't have no income of my own. I have to work."

"Are you ready to go back? Just a month ago you were struggling, in a shady part of town, doing shady things on the side, and you mean to say you still want to work when you don't have to?"

"I'm not living here for free, I have to pay August for groceries, splitting utilities, splitting rent. I cannot do all of that with a measly eight hundred a month."

"I can help you, all you-"

"No, just no. I'm going back to work and that is the end of it." Killian huffed dropping his hands into his lap. "Killian, you need to understand what it is exactly that you just said. You're wanting to take care of someone's finances you've known a month. Do you not see an issue in that?" This time it was Emma who dropped her hands in a huff.

"I don't. You have an issue with someone taking care of you. The same person you told you loved, who told you they loved you. You let August help, but God forbid if I do. You're so stubborn, you know that?" His voice made his hurt obvious, the jealousy all but seeping through his words. He waited for her to respond, when she didn't he decided to open his car door.

"I need to grab my bag."

"Are you not staying for dinner in a few hours?"

"I have a dog, Em. He needs tended to. I've been neglecting him to be around you more. And don't think I haven't bloody well enjoyed it, because I have. Let's not let Henry know there was conflict, yeah?" He didn't let her answer before he was shutting his door. He wanted to be home, the pull for alcohol burning his insides. He hurried to Emma's room and picked up clothes from her floor. He hadn't remembered tossing his clothes around so freely. He was cramming the last of his clothes when Emma walked into the room.

"When will I see you next?" He looked up at her frustration flooding his body.

"I'm not sure,Tuesday if you're free. Like I said I'm stuck working until Elsa's flight gets in." He watched her nod, her body language indicated she wanted to say something but per usual her walls quickly kept her from saying it. He sighed and zipped his bag. Tossing it over his shoulder he walked up to her.

"I'll text you in the morning. I love you darling, but you need to work on letting me in." He watched how his words affected her in the best way. He smirked, leaning in to give her a kiss that she returned with force. As if she were never going to kiss him again, and he'd be lying if he said the kiss didn't concern him. He wanted in that pretty little head of hers. Groaning into her mouth he forced himself back.

"I need to go, Smee is not so patiently waiting on me." He gave her a final peck and readjusted his bag.

"I love you too by the way." She smirked. Those the words affecting him like no other had. He smiled like a school boy and walked to the door.

"Until next time, lad. I'll see you in a few days."

"Definitely!" Henry chimed back. Killian walked out the door and made his way into his car. Pulling out of his driveway he couldn't help the fear that he was taking five steps back with his girlfriend.

* * *

 

Work was exhausting, Emma was at the forefront of his mind. He couldn't focus, he was thankful it was a slow day. It wasn't his turn to patrol so he sat in his cruiser, watching birds play in the neighboring trees. He would say he was watching them, but he wasn't truly. He pulled out his phone to see if she had replied to his earlier good morning message. She hadn't.

"Of course not, not like I didn't send that seven bloody hours ago." He mumbled to himself. He concluded it would be best to give her space, she would come to him when she was ready. While it irked and upset him, he wanted to be the right kind of man for her. And the man for her wouldn't rush her to open up. He started thinking about Milah and the arguments they used to have. He chuckled softly and laid his head back. If only Emma and his arguments were as petty as theirs used to be.

He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the car pull up beside him. A tap on his window jerked him back to reality. He quicky rolled down his window and looked up at him.

"David. What are you doing here?"

"We've tried to radio you in, it-"

"Is everything okay?" He quickly interrupted.

"Yeah." He said confused. "You've been off work for half an hour now and no one knew why you hadn't clocked out and dropped the cruiser off. They told me where you were parked so I decided to check on you myself. Everything all right?" Killian looked at his watch.

"Shit, I must have been daydreaming." He ran his hands over his face and dropped his head back onto the head rest.

"That's uh, a lot of marks you got there. Daydreaming about Emma?" David asked shyly.

"Yes and no, mate." He said with attitude. David raised both hands up.

"Sorry, just trying to be a listening ear. You look stressed, nervous about your sister-in-law meeting the girlfriend?" Killian let out a sigh before looking back at David.

"Emma still has me shut out, now more than usual. I've told her I love her and she's said it back, but now I'm worried she thinks it's too soon so she's pulling away. I don't bloody know what to do. My wife wasn't nearly this hot and cold. Don't get me wrong she had her flaws, but Emma, she's like that cat you cross that wants to be pet. You can see it in her eyes, but when you get too close she spooks. Fucking exhausting."

"Ah, that's our Emma for you. You are still heeding my words aren't you?"

"As patient as a saint." He sighed.

"She'll get there. Go home, Killian. Get some rest, you look like you need it." Killian nodded before pulling out of the lot and heading back to the station.

He exchanged his vehicle and headed back to his almost lonely home. Smee was eagerly waiting for him when he pulled up, his head in the window. Killian smiled.

_At least he missed me. At least he's this happy to see me._

"Let's say we go for a walk. There's still daylight left." He said as he pet Smees jaw, Smee just panted in agreement. Killian quickly got undressed, exchanging his uniform for more comfortable and thicker clothes. He hooked the leash on Smees collar and locked up the house. He started at a walk, but turned to jogging the closer he was to his destination. With the sign in view he slowed to a walk again. He sighed, his stomach full of knots.

"Long overdue, right Smee?" He walked into the cemetery pacing the headstones until he came upon hers. He sat beside the stone, ushering Smee to sit down as well which he did without struggle. He was used to being out here with Killian.

"Oh sweet Milah, I'm sorry I've not visited. I've been spending the last year of my life trying to get over your death, to get closure. I don't think I ever will. I think about you when I'm with Emma, spiteful of all the things I didn't get to do with you, with our child. And now because of it I'm worried about my current relationship. She just pushes and pushes me away, not like you in any manner and I don't know how to help her."

He ran his hands through his hair and propped them on his knees. He sniffled, the crisp air and his sadness both making his nose run. He sat quietly, unsure on what to say next. He closed his eyes, sucking in the cool air.

"I wish you were here, love. It's just impossible without you. I'll love you always." He sat for several more minutes before standing, dusting off his pants.

"Smee, come." He said tugging on the leash. Smee whimpered before standing and following Killian.

They walked at a slow pace the entire walk home, Smee stopping to lap up a puddle. As they approached the house Killian's heart dropped again. The urge to drink even stronger than the day before. He kicked his shoes off at the door, unhooking Smees leash and letting him into the house. He grabbed his shoes and dropped them off at the front door. He hated being alone, he had far too much time to dwell. He opened the cabinet and grabbed his rum bottle and a glass and pulled out a chair from his table. He sat with a huff unscrewing the bottle and pouring himself a full glass.

He drank until he was numb and forgetful crashing into his couch and losing consciousness. Waking to Smee licking his face. He groaned, still intoxicated.

"Yeah, yeah, bed I got it." He wobbled onto his feet, grasping the wall he walked to the kitchen, grabbing what was left of the bottle of rum and worked his way to his room. He sat on his bed and sipped at his bottle, sleep trying to take claim to him again. He looked at his alarm clock to see it was eleven so he felt for his phone. He opened his conversation with Emma grumbling when all she replied was 'hey'. He tossed his phone onto the end table and collapsed on his back.

* * *

 

He woke early to a thumping headache before his alarm. He squinted at the clock on the bedside table to find it reading five am. He let out a long, loud groan and rubbed his eyes. He threw on running clothes and decided a quick run would help the hangover. He locked the door and took off at a decent starting pace, adding speed as he went until he was in a full run. He decided to run into Granny's for a coffee, hoping Emma had an early shift. He hadn't messaged her back and she hadn't persued the conversation. He hated the distance, but he was trying to not push her any farther away. As he walked in he saw the familiar blonde curls flip as she left to give an order to the cooks. He smiled and propped his arm on the counter, waiting for her return. When she did return she looked shocked to see him.

"Good morning, love. Looks like you have gotten an early shift today. How about tomorrow?"

"Killian, you look like shit." She covered her mouth as she said it.

"Had a bit too much to drink last night, thought I'd come in for a coffee before work." He tried to play off as if he were fine.

"As for tomorrow I work eight to five. I'll be able to do dinner. It'll give Henry time to finish any homework. Bad day at work yesterday?"

"Something like that." His response was an easy lie, but if she wanted to distance herself it was only fair if he did.

_Would she want to know I visited my deceased wife?_

She gave him a look and turned to pour his coffee.

"You can talk to me, Killian."

"Funny, I keep trying and you keep ignoring me. Not so sure your offer is true." He snapped. "Apologies." He pulled out his wallet and paid for the coffee, not saying another word as he took his drink and walked out of the diner. He knew he was out of line, but he was tired of only worrying about her feelings. He was hurt, he wanted her at his side.

* * *

 

His phone was silent the entire day, Emma had not yet so much as texted. He wanted to not be hurt by it, but it bothered him. He decided to repeat the nightly activity from the previous day. He visited Milah's grave site for an hour, dissolving his pain in his bottle. He made sure his alarm was set prior to drinking. It wasn't his first rodeo. The last thought of the night straying to the blonde that made his life more difficult.

* * *

 

His alarm buzzed him back to consciousness, sucking in the drool that was attempting to escape his mouth. He smacked his clock and stretched out onto the bed. He jolted out of bed, throwing in the nearest pair of jeans, not minding whether they were clean or not. He picked up the empty bottles and stored them in his study, where he stored all of his bottles. He quickly changed the bedsheets, grabbed his keys and locked the front door.

The drive to the airport felt like hours, he was ready to see the face of someone who was always thrilled to see him. He pulled into the air port and headed inside. He waited at baggage claim, tapping his foot nervously. As passengers started arriving his nerves became a mess.

"Get it together, Killian. You act like you're meeting them for the first time ever." He mumbled to himself before seeing the familiar bright blonde hair.

"Uncle Killy!!!" A voice who's owner he couldn't see screamed.

"Is that my Julie?" He called.

"Killian, you're early." Elsa chimed before pulling him into a hug. A grip tightened around his hips.

"Was the flight generous on you?" He asked as he pulled away and scooped up Julie.

"Surprisingly yes, now are you going to help with our bags or do you plan on holding her all day." She teased. He looked to Julie and kissed her nose.

"Your mother is right, I am always a gentleman so the bags I'll grab." Elsa showed Killian's to the bags and they made their way to the car.

"You look good, Killian. Better than last year, I mean." He smiled shyly at her before throwing the luggage into the trunk.

"I don't feel much better. Emma and Henry will be in for dinner, but she works today. We've not been speaking like we should so if it appears we're unhappy it's not that we are. I just don't know how to fix it, so I'm giving her time and space. She's the exact opposite of Milah and it's hard." Elsa looked into the back seat.

"We'll talk about this a little later, all right?" She squeezed his wrist. He caught the hint and gave her a nod.

They pulled up to the house, Killian handed his keys to Elsa showing her which one goes to the house. He popped the trunk and pulled out the luggage while Elsa helped the kids out of their seats and into the house. Smee barked with pleasure, he had always enjoyed the two children.

"I'll get you guys set up in my room. My bed is bigger than the spare bed."

"Oh Killian, you don't have to do that!"

"I insist." He smiled. he squatted where the children were playing with Smee. "Logan, you're so big! Do you know how old you are?" He asked, ruffling the boys hair. Logan held up three fingers.

"Three!" He yelled.

"Wow, so big. Can you count?" The boy nodded.

"One, two, free, four, five, six, seben, eight, nine, ten!"

"You're too smart!" He teased. "And you little lady, what are you learning in school?"

"We are spelling words, I can spell my name, I can spell small stuff. I've been working on your name too uncle Killy!" She flashed him a grin, a couple teeth missing from her smile. He looked over at Elsa, who's expression he couldn't quite read. His mind thought back to Emma, how he wished she could be here for this. He sighed, standing and walking over to Elsa.

"Why the long face?" She whispered. He scratched behind his ear.

"Nothing gets passed you, huh? Just thinking about Emma."

"What is it with you two anyways? Last I remember she was helping you get over a nightmare." She said jokingly.

"The father of her child is no good, said only if she follows his rules will she get more child support, but he's also getting visitation. When she told me she was going back to work I tried to get her to let me take care of her the way she does a male friend of hers. The guy has a thing for her and she knows it, they've kissed and I don't know. I guess it was jealousy, but she refused my offer and I mentioned him taking care of her and it's like that did it for her. I went into her work Monday and we had another argument. She's my first relationship since Milah and it makes me wonder how I managed to get married!"

"Oh Killian, I'm sorry things have been hard. Maybe you guys can make up? I'd like to see you happy again. You appear happy, but your eyes are sad."

"Uncle Killy? I'm hungry." Julie moaned.

"How about a sandwich? They have a mix over here you might enjoy."

"Okay great! Make sure you make one for Logan too! He eats as much as me!"

Killian laughed, "I can tell. He's a stocky lad. Two sandwiches coming up."

"You don't limit their sugar intake do you?" He quietly asked Elsa. "I know everything here is sweeter than over there so I'm not sure how much they're used to."

"What you have will be fine." She reassured. He nodded, pulling out bread, peanut butter, and strawberry jam. He made the sandwiches quickly.

"At the table, no food in the living room. And no feeding Smee." He said sternly. Both children ran to the table, making claim to the chair of choice. He sat the sandwiches down in front of them and walked into the living room. He turned on the television and turned to a children's station."Little entertainment while you eat." He smiled. "You guys have a few hours before you'll be meeting Emma and Henry."

"How old is Emma and Henry?" Julie asked through a mouthful.

"Julie Elisabeth Jones! Don't talk with a mouthful." Elsa rebuked. Julie swallowed her bite of sandwich.

"Sorry momma."

"Well Emma is my age, technically I'm a few years older. Like you with Logan, and Henry is seven years older than you."

"After they eat I'm going to get them and myself down for a nap. That flight was brutal." Killian nodded.

"Sounds like a plan. I'm going to head out and get something for dinner. Anything in particular you'd like to eat tonight?"

"Whatever you pick will be fine, my kids aren't picky eaters. Maybe ask Emma what she would like?" She suggested. He gave her another nod and pulled out his phone to message her.

_K:Good afternoon love, Elsa and the kids made it safely. They're here eating lunch. I'm fixing to head out to grab something to make for tonight. Anything in particular you or Henry would like?_

_E: Whatever is fine._

He grumbled to himself.

_K: I want to talk later as well if that's okay._

_E: Sure, what time should we get there?_

_K: After you get off and get a shower?_

_E: okay_

He hesitated.

_K: I love you Emma Swan._

She stopped responding and it just made him feel worse. He pocketed his phone and grabbed his keys off of the counter.

"I'll be back in a few." He sulked.

"Killian?" Elsa's expression was worried. Killian gave her one final look, his expression confirming her concern. He left the house, he contemplated going to the bar. He had a couple hours to himself before he needed to worry about dinner or socializing with his family. He settled on having a single beer before picking up dinner. The beer did nothing to settle his dread. Paying his bill he walked out.

He decided on spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. It was quick, simple, and all kids love it was his excuse. He returned to the house with two bags of groceries. Setting them on the kitchen counter he noticed the house was silent. He placed the cold items into the fridge until later. He still had a few hours until dinner. He pulled the bottles out of the second bag, rum and wine.

"Killian, you need to talk to someone." Elsa's voice spoke quietly from the doorway.

"What do you mean, Elsa?" He placed the wine in the fridge and left the rum on the counter.

"Do you have a minor drinking problem or have you turned into an alcoholic?"

"Are you accusing me of the latter?"

"It doesn't help anything, Killian. It doesn't stop the hurt, it doesn't ease the anxiety, you're only shortening your life drinking like you are."

"Elsa I'm fine, I only drink when I'm upset. I'm sorry that happens to be a little more frequent as of late. I promise to be sober around Julie and Logan, if that's what you're worried about." She shook her head.

"No, I'm worried about you. If things do go south with Emma, and I'm hoping like crazy things don't go south with her, you should consider coming back to England to stay."

"Even if things do go south, I can't leave. Milah is here."

"And your brother is in England."

"Elsa please don't make this a fight. Is that the real reason you decided to fly down?" He opened the rum and poured him a little.

"No, I came because I have news. I want to wait until dinner if that's okay." She lowered her voice.

"Sure Elsa, fine." He tossed the drink back and set the cup in the sink.

"See I have control." He tried to lighten the mood but the damage was done. Elsa was hurt, she left him to sulk by himself.

_Good, being alone makes it easier._

He looked to see if she would come back before fetching the glass from the sink and pouring another cup. He drank quickly, stuffing the bottle into the liquor cabinet beside Emma's scotch.

* * *

 

As five approached Killian was starting dinner. His nerves got the better of him so he sipped on rum while he cooked.

"Uncle Killy, I'm hungry. When is dinner going to be ready?" Julie whined.

"In just a little while. Go watch some television or play with your brother. Don't want to risk you getting burned in here now do we?" The doorbell rang and Julie perked up.

"Can I answer it? Please?" She begged, causing him to chuckle.

"Aye, better hurry before your mother gets it." With that she ran from the kitchen to get the door. He heard voices but couldn't make out words. He stirred the noodles hoping Emma wouldn't feel awkward being alone with people she didn't know, when Julie burst into the kitchen, hand in hand with Emma.

"Here he is, uncle Killy I'm not staying. Emma was wondering where you were." She smiled at Emma before going back into the living room to torment Henry, Killian thought. He sat down his noodle spoon and walked over to her, grabbing her waist and pulling her into a hug.

"God, I've missed you. I apologize again for my behavior." He wanted to kiss her, but he felt her tense under his grasp.

"You've been drinking?" She asked.

"Only a little bit. Still very much sober, I don't drink heavily around my niece and nephew." He pulled away but she grabbed his wrists.

"Killian, wait. I'm sorry, it wasn't easy for me to take help from August who I've known since I was a baby, you can't think it'd be easy taking it from yet another man. It had nothing to do with you, and these last few days without seeing and talking to you has been extremely hard. I did it to find my own feelings, I wasn't aiming to hurt you. I thought you'd be too busy to be phased by my absence." She leaned into him, pushing her lips to his. He was sure he melted, the contact being exactly what he needed. He pressed her back into the counter and attacked her mouth. All his worry and concern flaked away. A voice cleared .

"Sorry to interrupt, kids were thirsty. I was going to get them a glass of water." Killian blushed.

"Dinner is about done. I was fixing to put the bread in the oven. The spaghetti will be finished by the time the bread is. They can go ahead and get ready for it." Elsa smiled at Emma as she finished pouring the drinks. When they were alone Emma spoke first.

"I just need patience, don't rush me okay?"

"I've all the time in the world." He groaned. She kissed him again before letting him finish dinner.

He sat the food on the table before calling everyone to the table. The kids were the first to sit, all of them including Henry were ready to eat. Elsa fixed her children a plate and waited for Henry and Emma to make theirs before fixing her own plate.

They made light talk, laughter erupting every so often. Julie stared at Emma with a smile, which Emma returned.

"You don't look like Uncle Killy's last wife." She said, slurping her spaghetti.

"Julie Elisabeth! That's not appropriate." Her mother scolded.

"But why not?"

"She's fine, Milah was a part of her life. You're very right Julie, I don't look like her." Emma smiled.

"So Elsa, you said you had some news." Killian said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I do. I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I've met someone. He loves the kids, goal oriented, has a job. We've been seeing each other for the last year. He recently asked for my hand in marriage and I said yes." Killian didn't know how he wanted to feel. His brother was dead, but the thought of another man raising his niece and nephew made his stomach turn.

"Wow, I didn't even notice the ring. Congratulations, Elsa. Are the kids excited?"

"Julie is, Logan here doesn't understand it quite yet." They looked to the children, Julie still smiling at Emma.

"Have you set a date?" Emma enquired. Killan watched as Emma and Elsa quickly became friends.

"Hey uncle Killy, did you know we go see poppa every month? We go with flowers and I get to tell him what all I've done all month!" Elsa's eyes darted to Killian, his jaw tight.

"Is that so?"

"Yeah, you should come visit him, I'm positive he'd like to hear some of your stories."

"How about we go when I come up for holiday?"

"Okay! Can we visit aunt Milah while we are here? Do you visit her like I visit poppa?" Killan cleared his throat.

"Uh, not really no." He avoided Emma's gaze at him. "If you want to go visit Milah you're more than welcome to. If tomorrow is pretty enough we may." He nodded at her.

"Killian, have you even been out that way? Do you remember where it's at?" Elsa whispered.

"Aye, I was just there yesterday. It's not a problem." He watched Emma through his peripheral careful not to actually look at her.

"Is that why you've been drinking excessively? Killian you don't-"

"Can we drop this? My girlfriend and her son are sitting right here. I'll take the kids and that will be it."

He took a finishing swig of his drink, emptying it for the second time since dinner.

"Don't worry mother that was my last cup of rum for the night." He kept his eyes on Elsa for a brief moment, trying to make his frustration known. Dinner fell silent. 

* * *

 

After dinner Killian loaded the dishwasher, making a point to let Henry bond with Julie while he could. He found humor in the way Henry grinned over Julie's accent. Elsa was getting Logan to sleep for the night.

"Are you okay, Killian?" Emma's voice was gentle.

"Aye, never better." He joked. She laid her hand on his arm to stop him from continuing.

"Please look at me." He turned to face her his eyes locking with hers.

"Like this? I should have told you, love. The past two days I've been out that way. Before that I hadn't been out there in over a year. You were avoiding me, I haven't felt that alone in some time." He confessed. He felt foolish admitting he felt so low.

"Well I won't be avoiding you again, but I can't take you up on your offer to take care of me. I may never be able to let you. It has nothing to do with you as a man, please believe me when I say that. I'm used to having to do everything on my own. And I can't condemn you for visiting the graveside of your wife. I would never, Killian."

"It's okay, Emma, I know you. I knew better than to suggest it. I want you to stay here this weekend." He smiled shyly, a hint of begging laced his face. She cupped his face and kissed him. This time it was her that backed him into the sink. His stomach felt full of butterflies as he felt her hand snake beneath his pants. He came alive in her grip before breaking his lips away.

"We don't need to do this right now, love. Henry, Elsa, and Julie are in the next room." She gave him a seductive look and started stroking him beneath his clothes. His mouth fell open and his back slouched. She took the moment to kiss his open mouth again. As she sped her pace he let out whimpers into her mouth, rocking in sync with her strokes until he was practically humping her hand. He frantically found his way under her jeans, finding her soaked as well. He was swift, his fingers entering her as quick as he could. She gasped into his mouth this time. They stroked in sync, him speeding to help her along before he erupted in her palm. When he felt her grip on his cock loosen and become sporadic he knew he was close. Her body convulsed in his grasp, her walls gripping him like a vice grip. Only when she came down from her orgasm did she pick back up with her own strokes. She broke her mouth from his.

"Do you want me to finish with my mouth or are you good like this?" She panted.

"Is that a trick question?" She rolled her eyes at him before squatting before him. She quickly unbuttoned his pants, his cock springing out at first chance. She was quick to take him in her mouth. He was nervous of being caught, but the risk was the biggest turn on. the She allowed him to pick the pace, and he wanted to feel bad but face fucking her had him on the edge of exploding. When she looked up at him and locked eyes he was over, his orgasm rushed over him at once, filling her throat with his hot seed he never broke eye contact. He watched as she licked his head, cleaning him of any remaining semen and licked her lips.

She helped button his pants, giving him a quick kiss and disappearing into the living room. He gave himself time to clear his head before joining the others. He took note to how fast Emma and Elsa got on. He knew Elsa would go to the ends of the earth to like who he chose to have in his life, but he didn't expect an instant connection.

"I see both wee ones are in bed." Elsa looked up at him and nodded.

"Yeah, she was complaining of being tired so I went ahead and had her lay down as well."

He looked at his watch.

"Anyone game for a movie? I have time for just one before I need to be crashing myself. I don't know what all Julie has planned, but I'll need to be prepared."

"We actually need to head off, I have the opening shift tomorrow. I'll be off at two if you want to swing by the house and pick me up after I shower." Emma half smiled. Killian nodded, he was disappointed. He had made amends, and thought he would have more time with her.

"You ready Henry? You have school tomorrow so you need sleep anyways."

"It's eight thirty mom." Henry groaned but stood up. "I had a great time, thanks for having us Killian. Oh and it was nice to meet you and the children, Elsa."

"It was lovely meeting you as well, Henry. Emma, do you plan on flying down with Killian for Christmas?" Killian chuckled mostly to himself.

"What are you laughing at?" She added.

"Just laughing at how well you get on with my girlfriend."

"I'm not sure about Christmas, I'll know the closer to time." Emma answered. He was going to try to convince her to fly with him, if it was the last thing he did. He was glad his family was as inviting to her, as if they'd been together for months. He helped Emma to her car hopeful that the arguing was behind them.

"So I'll see you tomorrow." He confirmed.

"Yeah, Henry will still be at school." He was trying to read her subtle words, trying not to confuse them for anything but an invitation to her body. He cocked an eyebrow and she cocked one back, confirming his suspicion.

"Aye, all right. I'll pick you up after work then." He leaned into the car, giving her a quick kiss so he didn't gross Henry out too bad.

"Be careful going home, I love you Em."

"Love you too." She smiled, the words like music to his ears. He smiled back, watching as they left.

* * *

 

As he stepped inside Elsa gave him a look.

"What?" He blushed.

"Just that I had to increase the volume on the telly to keep you from being heard." She laughed. he covered his eyes, his face turning a deep shade of red.

"I'm going to bed before you embarass me more, if that's even possible." She snickered at his comment.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk? Are you and Emma good?" He studied her, looking for a motive.

"Yeah we're better. We discussed it better and concluded we were both blooming mad."

"Good, I see how you look at her. It's similar to how you used to look at Milah. I want you happy Killian, you'll always be my brother. And I truly hope Emma decides to fly to England with you. I like her."

"Thanks Elsa, I'm going to try to convince her to come with me. She has incredibly high walls. I'm chiselng at them as much as I can."

"Well I happen to notice how she glows in your presence so I don't think you need to worry too much." She gave him a wink and shooed him off to the spare room.

"Goodnight, Els see you lot in the morning."

"Rest up, the kids are going to run you ragged." She warned.

"Oh, I know. I'm ready." He smirked. He was about to ask Elsa her opinion on the weekend find but thought better of it. He slipped out of his clothes and plopped into bed, if anything he was glad Emma was back on his side.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Love it? Hate it? All you could ask for in a chapter? Multiple smutty scenes! :) lemme know what you think and again, thanks for reading!!! :)


	21. Chapter 21

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like maybe I didn't complete this chapter. I've had it sitting this finished for a couple months, but had wanted to add something to it. I decided since it was 9k words to go ahead and post it. If it feels unfinished to everyone, just look at it as a part one. :) I'm still here! Hehe

Killian jerked awake, the warmth of Emma slowing his racing heart. He let out a long sigh and rubbed his eyes. Grabbing his phone to check the time he groaned.

_Three. Great._

He slid his finger along the phone and pulled open his conversation with Elsa.

_K: Morning. Decided what day you'll be flying in?_

Her response was instant.

_E: It's still night there Killy, something got you stirred? I was thinking about Tuesday. I'm dreading flying with the kids, not sure how they'll do._

_K: Another nightmare, nothing serious or to worry about. Wee ones will do fine, they'll surprise you. I bet Julie is the most excited?_

_E: Of course. She hasn't seen you in almost a year. She claims her husband is going to be just like her Uncle Killy. You should get some rest, Killian._

_K: I know, I'm going to after I take a quick shower. Clear my head, give myself enough time to not have my dream pick up where it left off._

_E: Good, can't wait to see you. Love you._

_K: Love you too._

Killian set his phone back down before slipping over Emma. He kissed her glabella and grabbed his bag. While he dug, Emma stirred. "Killian?" Her raspy voice called.

"I'm here, go back to sleep. I'm going to take a quick shower, was just getting some clothes from my bag."

"Why are you taking a shower?" The raspy confusion on her voice making him chuckle.

"To clear my head, like you with running."

Emma sat up and ran her hands through her hair. "Something happen? Why do you need to clear your head?"

"Well I didn't want to wake you at three in the morning to talk about it, I wanted to let you sleep. Just bad dreams, love."

"I didn't realize you had bad dreams." She almost whispered.

"We've all got demons, Emma." He lightly reminded. He stood up and walked back to the bed, " I'll be back in a second." He leaned forward pressing a firm but gentle kiss to her lips. She pressed forward asking permission to enter his mouth, which he gladly allowed. He groaned into her mouth. "How do you always do that?" He asked.

"Do what?" She asked, running her hand through his bed head.

"Rouse me up." He said through a grin. "You're making me second guess that shower."

"Then don't take one." She said seductively, a devilish grin on her face. He kissed her again, slowly applying his weight and pushing her back on the bed. His hands roamed her body and caused her to tremble in his grasp. He teased her skin, forcing her flesh to take on goosebumps. She sighed into his mouth, his hips keeping her pressed firmly into the mattress. He pulled his mouth away just far enough to grab her bottom lip between his teeth. He gave her a gentle bite before releasing her lip. She looked wrecked and it made his heart blow up in his chest. He thrusted his hips into her, grinning when she noticed he was far ready for her. She gave him a smile. He lifted off of her and sat up. "What are you doing?" She suddenly asked. He chuckled at her concern.

"I'm going to take care of you. In case you don't remember I didn't focus on your pleasure earlier. I intended to, but got carried away." He said shyly, his hand finding the back of his ear again.

"My pleasure consists of your body and mine entwining together, Killian."

"Aye, but you must admit it's nice having the deep pleasure happening to only you." He gripped her panties and slowly pulled them off, rubbing her legs as he moved. He tossed them to the floor and kissed his way up her legs, lingering at her thighs. "Pretty sure I said I was going to mark you all up. These legs are looking mighty bare." While sucking her thighs he crept his hand to her wet flesh. The pleasure of a gentle caress with the force of suction caused her to throw her head back. Licking his way up he met his hand with his tongue. He groaned as his mouth closed over her lips, his tongue grazing her opening as it made its way to her clit.

"Did you wake up like this love or did it just happen?" He asked between strokes of his tongue. Just as she was about to answer he slipped his tongue inside of her, his thumb pressing circles into her sensitive bud. Her hands flew to his hair, her fingers gripping his hair tightly. Her body quivered under his grasp. He quickened his pace as she uncontrollably began to hump his face. When her body spasmed he gave her a final lick, cleaning her of all the liquids her body had produced for him. He kissed his way up her body, his boxers pulled down just below his cock and ass. He didn't want to take her by surprise again so he grazed it across her mound before giving her a searing kiss. As their tongues mingled he gently pushed himself inside, moaning into her mouth as he did. She raised her legs onto her feet on either side of his body, nails finding the skin of his back. She broke their kiss to find her way to his neck.

He thrusts became harder as she sucked her own marks into his neck and collar. He grabbed one of her legs and moved it to rest on his shoulder, allowing him to sink even deeper, to hit the spot that makes her lose control. Her gasps and moans became instantaneous. He pressed harder, his pace quickening, both of their moans filling the room, neither caring if the entire house heard them. A hand to his chest stopped him. "What's a matter, love?"

"Nothing, I just want to finish doggy if that's okay with you?" She cocked an eyebrow, daring him to have a problem with it. He could find no such thing, the view of her with her ass popped out to him, practically begging for his cock to be inside of her had him more than okay with it.

"Not at all." He pulled out, lowering her leg, and backing up so she could sit up and turn around. As she did, he gave himself a moment to enjoy his view. Her back dipped beautifully, her ass proudly in the air, and her breasts so low her nipples graze the bedsheet. He makes an inaudible sound before caressing her back all the way down to her ass.

"Like what you see?" She laughed.

"Patience, love." He slid his hand back up her back and sliding aound her ribs to her chest. Palming a breasts he gently squeezed, grabbing her nipple and giving it a light squeeze and twist. She moaned just as he knew she would. Kissing a trail down her back this time, he stops at a dimple in her hip deciding to mark it as well. As he finished he lined himself back up, feeling that her body as produced more slick fluids for him. "You're practically dripping for me, Emma. I'm flattered." She just pushed her ass into him in response. He grasped his cock, gliding it over her slit a few times before pressing into her. He loved being able to watch as he entered her, and the position made it one of the easiest. He grabbed her hips and slowly increased his speed and pressure. As he quickened to a hard, forceful state her moans began to echo off of the walls. The sound causing him to toss his head back. She was so warm, so tight and wet even his mind fell over the edge.

He hardly felt his orgasm approaching until it was too late to give her a warning, spilling himself inside of her he panted. "Sorry for not warning you of an impending explosion." He joked. Her arms had buckled so she laid with her head on the pillow and her arms splayed above her head.

"It's definitely okay." She giggled. He reached into the bedside table drawer, grabbing a rag and propping it underneath him. As he pulled out he grazed the rag over his shaft the best he could. Once removed he carefully pressed it over her opening.

"I'll let you handle the rest." He felt her hand touch his and he pulled away. "Definitely beats a shower." He laughed, causing her to laugh as well.

"Want to talk about your dream?" She almost whispered. She wanted in. He had all but begged her to let him in, how hypocritical would it be to keep her out.

"It was about Milah." He confessed. "And Liam. It was mostly a recount of their deaths but with a twist. I wasn't Milah's first husband, I've forgotten the blokes name she mentioned. In my dream she told me our child wasn't mine but his. She had mentioned being engaged at one point to someone during our relationship, not in the dream. I was distraught, I received no closure as she told me. And then I saw her death occur again." He stopped to breathe as he felt her snake her hands around him. He sighed before continuing. "I dreamt I saw Liam die, I wasn't there when he was shot down but it felt so real. So much blood." She rested her head on his shoulder.

"I'm sorry Killian. Do you have these dreams often?" He gently stroked her hand that rested on his chest.

"Not often, no. Two or three times a year at most. I texted Elsa as soon as I woke. I wanted to tell her I dreamt of him, but I knew it would upset her so I just changed the subject. I want to talk to her about him more than I can explain, but I don't want to cause her pain. Her boy, Logan, he looks identical to my brother and I know that is bittersweet to her."

"Let's go back to bed, okay? We have a skating date in five hours." She reminded. He gave her a nod, bringing her hand to his mouth and kissing it.

"You're right, love."

* * *

"Henry, have you seen my shoes?" Killian's eyes popped open. He raised his head off of the pillow and breathed a heavy breath. Looking to his left he noticed an empty bed. He rolled onto his back and rubbed his eyes. Sitting up he grabbed his phone off of the table, a message from Elsa flashing on the screen.

_E: Finally get some sleep?_

He thought about the time difference before typing a message back.

_K: Aye, I did._

_E: What were are these nightmares you're having and why haven't you mentioned them before?_

_K: I was foolish to message you about them, please don't be concerned about them._

_E: Killian_

He could practically hear her voice as he read the message, he chuckled _._

_K: It had Liam in it, and Milah. Just horrid things, Elsa._

_E: Oh..._

_K: Yes, now if you'll excuse me I need to shower. I'm going skating with Emma and Henry today._

_E: Didn't you take a shower just six hours ago?_

_K: not quite ;)_

_E: Killian Thomas Jones!!!_

_K: Hey now! I can't help I'm devilishly handsome._

_E: you're too much. I'll text you when we are about to board the plane. Love you, have fun!_

_K: Love you too._

He chuckled again and looked up to find Emma watching him. "Good morning, love. You're up and ready early."

"I'm surprised you didn't hear Henry come in here this morning. Thank God I was covered up. He burst in like a solid ball of energy. Get up and get ready. We leave in forty five." She closed the door, leaving him to himself again. He rifled through his bag, pulling out what he had brought for the day. His thoughts drifted to wondering if this is what he would have been doing had his wife and child survived. Shaking his head he made his way into the bathroom. He showered quickly, wasting no time to get lost in thought. As he was brushing his teeth he scoffed.

"Bloody hell." He said jerking his chin up, examining the marks Emma had made sure to leave. He ran his free hand over them and shook his head. He hadn't even thought to see how visibly marked she was and he laughed wondering if she had the same reaction this morning. He rolled his eyes, his vision locking on a box in the trash.

_Pregnancy test?_

He grabbed the box searching for the test. At the bottom of the can lay the test. He was about to grab it when Emma called him. He entered the living room with both Emma and Henry smiling in his direction.

"Ready?" He asked.

"We will be eating sometime today right?"

"We got donuts this morning, but yeah there's a pizza place where we will be at." Henry beamed.

* * *

The rink was mostly empty, with the exception of a family and two couples.

"Have you ever skated?" Henry asked, looking up to Killian. He shook his head in response looking to Emma.

"You'll keep me from making a fool of myself, right love?" He asked nervously. She grabbed his hand and squeezed.

"Just have to pick a partner that knows what they're doing."

While he was ready for ice skates, he wasn't ready for how tight Emma had laced them.

"Bloody hell, do you have to make it so tight?"

"Yes, it's for your own good. It's to keep your ankles from buckling." When she finished she helped him stand, Henry laughed behind her at how wobbly he stood.

"See you guys on the ice." Henry called before darting to the ice.

"He moves quick." Killian commented.

"And even faster on the ice. I've tried getting him to join the hockey team, but he refuses." They spent an hour getting him used to gliding on the ice. He was glad Emma was taking this seriously and not letting him fall. As he learned the basics he felt more confident, picking up his speed.

"You may not want to go too fast. You'll bust your ass."

"Are you worried about me, Swan?" He teased. Just as he finished saying her name he slipped. His fall resembling a cartoon, and because he was holding her hand he pulled her down with him. He started laughing, tossing his head back onto the cool ice.

"C'mon, it's time to grab some lunch." She pushed off of the ice and held out her hand for him to take. They slid to the door that led to the sitting area and waited for Henry to make his lap back around to them. A laugh escaped him and Emma looked at him in confusion. "What is so funny?"

"I'd forgotten you marked me several times and I'd wondered what you looked like. Just now catching a glimpse."

"Oh, that. That was fun explaining to Henry, August laughed at me. I look just as I said I would. A dalmatian." She rolled her eyes. He smiled at her, leaning in to steal a kiss. "What?" She asked when he just looked at her.

"You look happy, I'm happy I won't lie. But you, I don't know that I've ever seen you this happy." He commented. She frowned and looked at the rink. "Did I say something?" He quickly asked.

"No, you're right. I'm the happiest I've ever been, and it just makes me a little sad that I don't have many truly happy moments like this. Henry knows I enjoy the rink, but it's a statement. When he was little he wanted to skate so bad and he was having such a hard time keeping up and figuring it out. I had told him, be patient. That I'd always be right there to help him, and to pick him up when he fell. That in time he would be able to do it like a pro. I think he's wanting me to know the same thing."

"Quite the lad you have there then." He pulled her into his side and stroked her shoulder. "You're a strong woman, Emma. You can overcome anything."

"Get a room!" Henry's playful tone echoed as he skated up. "Ready for lunch already?" He asked.

Killian found them a table while Emma and Henry ordered the pizza. As he waited he couldn't help but let him mind travel to envisioning Milah and their unborn in every aspect he was experiencing. He felt selfish and inconsiderate imaging his girlfriend as a past lover and Henry as the child he never had, but his mind was winning the race.

"Hey, everything okay" Emma's voice pulled him back to the life he was living. he looked up at her with a grin.

"Aye, my eyes must have gotten stuck." Emma frowned at him.

"Your mind as well then. I've only mentioned your name a few times."

"I'm fine, Emma." He looked down at the food trays they had brought back, full of food that could easily feed four people. They ate mostly in silence, listening to Henry talk about how excited he was to meet more English people as he called it.

"Sorry to say, but Elsa and Logan don't have the English accent. Julie however, it's one thing she's always had. She's also in school so she has kept it. Logan is with Elsa a lot so he speaks more like her." They decided to look in some shops at the mall before heading back to the house, Henry found a bracelet for Violet as they were walking out. "Thanks for the suggestion Henry, I had a good time today."Killian said, looking into the rear view mirror with a smile. As they pulled into the driveway, Killian cleared his throat. "You go on ahead, Henry I need to talk to your mum for a moment." Henry looked to Emma and back to Killian.

"Uh, okay sure." Henry slid out of the car, looking back once before closing the front door behind him.

"Am I in trouble?" She asked with an awkward laugh.

"No, no, none of that. I just didn't know if you'd want Henry to know what day Elsa had told me when she is flying out. I told you I'd let you know when she did. She's flying out Monday, but won't be here until Tuesday morning. I have work tomorrow and Monday, but they're giving me Tuesday and Wednesday off to get her settled in. They've not promised me anymore days but those this coming week, but I'm going to try and get Friday." She nodded, taking in what all he had said.

"When do you want us there? I go back to work this week, I'll need to see if I'm off any of those days, but probably not. Hopefully I'll have early shifts so I'll have the afternoon and night." He sighed, running his hand through his hair. "What is it?" She asked, folding her arms.

"I just thought with you getting money for Henry, you might extend your break from the diner."

"Killian, I can't have no income of my own. I have to work."

"Are you ready to go back? Just a month ago you were struggling, in a shady part of town, doing shady things on the side, and you mean to say you still want to work when you don't have to?"

"I'm not living here for free, I have to pay August for groceries, splitting utilities, splitting rent. I cannot do all of that with a measly eight hundred a month."

"I can help you, all you-"

"No, just no. I'm going back to work and that is the end of it." Killian huffed dropping his hands into his lap. "Killian, you need to understand what it is exactly that you just said. You're wanting to take care of someone's finances you've known a month. Do you not see an issue in that?" This time it was Emma who dropped her hands in a huff.

"I don't. You have an issue with someone taking care of you. The same person you told you loved, who told you they loved you. You let August help, but God forbid if I do. You're so stubborn, you know that?" His voice made his hurt obvious, the jealousy all but seeping through his words. He waited for her to respond, when she didn't he decided to open his car door. "I need to grab my bag."

"Are you not staying for dinner in a few hours?"

"I have a dog, Em. He needs tended to. I've been neglecting him to be around you more. And don't think I haven't bloody well enjoyed it, because I have. Let's not let Henry know there was conflict, yeah?" He didn't let her answer before he was shutting his door. He wanted to be home, the pull for alcohol burning his insides. He hurried to Emma's room and picked up clothes from her floor. He hadn't remembered tossing his clothes around so freely. He was cramming the last of his clothes when Emma walked into the room.

"When will I see you next?" He looked up at her frustration flooding his body.

"I'm not sure, Tuesday if you're free. Like I said I'm stuck working until Elsa's flight gets in." He watched her nod, her body language indicated she wanted to say something but per usual her wall quickly kept her from saying it. He sighed and zipped his bag. Tossing it over his shoulder he walked up to her.

"I'll text you in the morning. I love you darling, but you need to work on letting me in." He watched how his words affected her in the best way. He smirked, leaning in to give her a kiss that she returned with force. As if she were never going to kiss him again, and he'd be lying if he said the kiss didn't concern him. He wanted in that pretty little head of hers. Groaning into her mouth he forced himself back. "I need to go, Smee is not so patiently waiting on me." He gave her a final peck and readjusted his bag.

"I love you too by the way." She smirked. Those the words affecting him like no other had. He smiled like a school boy and walked to the door.

"Until next time, lad. I'll see you in a few days."

"Definitely!" Henry chimed back. Killian walked out the door and made his way into his car. Pulling out of his driveway he couldn't help the fear that he was taking five steps back with his girlfriend.

* * *

Work was exhausting, Emma was at the forefront of his mind. He couldn't focus, he was thankful it was a slow day. It wasn't his turn to patrol so he sat in his cruiser, watching birds play in the neighboring trees. He would say he was watching them, but he wasn't truly. He pulled out his phone to see if she had replied to his earlier good morning message. She hadn't.

"Of course not, not like I didn't send that seven bloody hours ago." He mumbled to himself. He concluded it would be best to give her space, she would come to him when she was ready. While it irked and upset him, he wanted to be the right kind of man for her. And the man for her wouldn't rush her to open up. He started thinking about Milah and the arguments they used to have. He chuckled softly and laid his head back. If only Emma and his arguments were as petty as theirs used to be. He was so lost in his thoughts he didn't hear the car pull up beside him. A tap on his window jerked him back to reality. He quicky rolled down his window and looked up at him.

"David. What are you doing here?"

"We've tried to radio you in, it-"

"Is everything okay?" He quickly interrupted.

"Yeah." He said confused. "You've been off work got half an hour now and no one knew why you hadn't clocked out and dropped the cruiser off. They told me where you were parked so I decided to check on you myself. Everything all right?" Killian looked at his watch.

"Shit, I must have been daydreaming." He ran his hands over his face and dropped his head back onto the head rest.

"That's uh, a lot of marks you got there. Daydreaming about Emma?" David asked shyly.

"Yes and no, mate." He said with attitude. David raised both hands up.

"Sorry, just trying to be a listening ear. You look stressed, nervous about your sister-in-law meeting the girlfriend?" Killian let out a sigh before looking back at David.

"Emma still has me shut out, now more than usual. I've told her I love her and she's said it back, but no I'm worried she thinks it's too soon so she's pulling away. I don't bloody know what to do. My wife wasn't nearly this hot and cold. Don't get me wrong she had her flaws, but Emma, she's like that cat you cross that wants to be pet. You can see it in her eyes, but when you get too close she spooks. Fucking exhausting."

"Ah, that's our Emma for you. You are still heeding my words aren't you?"

"As patient as a saint." He sighed.

"She'll get there. Go home, Killian. Get some rest, you look like you need it."

Killian nodded before pulling out of the lot and heading back to the station. He exchanged his vehicle and headed back to his almost lonely home. Smee was eagerly waiting for him when he pulled up, his head in the window. Killian smiled.

_At least he missed me. At least he's this happy to see me._

"Let's say we go for a walk. There's still daylight left." He said as he pet Smees jaw, Smee just panted in agreement. Killian quickly got undressed, exchanging his uniform for more comfortable and thicker clothes. He hooked the leash on Smees collar and locked up the house. He started at a walk, but turned to jogging the closer he was to his destination. With the sign in view he slowed to a walk again. He sighed, his stomach full of knots. "Long overdue, right Smee?" He walked into the cemetery pacing the headstones until he came upon hers. He sat beside the stone, ushering Smee to sit down as well which he did without struggle. He was used to being out here with Killian.

"Oh sweet Milah, I'm sorry I've not visited. I've been spending the last year of my life trying to get over your death, to get closure. I don't think I ever will. I think about you when I'm with Emma, spiteful of all the things I didn't get to do with you, with our child. And now because of it I'm worried about my current relationship. She just pushes and pushes me away, not like you in any manner and I don't know how to help her." He ran his hands through his hair and propped them on his knees. He sniffled, the crisp air and his sadness both making his nose run. He sat quietly, unsure on what to say next. He closed his eyes, sucking in the cool air. "I wish you were here, love. It's just impossible without you. I'll love you always." He sat for several more minutes before standing, dusting off his pants. "Smee, come." He said tugging on the leash. Smee whimpered before standing and following Killian.

They walked at a slow pace the entire walk home, Smee stopping to lap up a puddle. As they approached the house Killian's heart dropped again. The urge to drink even stronger than the day before. He kicked his shoes off at the door, unhooking Smees leash and letting him into the house. He grabbed his shoes and dropped them off at the front door. He hated being alone, he had far too much time to dwell. He opened the cabinet and grabbed his rum bottle and a glass and pulled out a chair from his table. He sat with a huff unscrewing the bottle and pouring himself a full glass. He drank until he was numb and forgetful, crashing into his couch and losing consciousness.

Waking to Smee licking his face. He groaned, still intoxicated. "Yeah, yeah, bed I got it." He wobbled onto his feet, grasping the wall he walked to the kitchen, grabbing what was left of the bottle of rum and worked his way to his room. He sat on his bed and sipped at his bottle, sleep trying to take claim to him again. He looked at his alarm clock to see it was eleven so he felt for his phone. He opened his conversation with Emma grumbling when all she replied was 'hey'. He tossed his phone onto the end table and collapsed on his back.

He woke early to a thumping headache before his alarm. He squinted at the clock on the bedside table to find it reading five am. He let out a long, loud groan and rubbed his eyes. He threw on running clothes and decided a quick run would help the hangover. He locked the door and took off at a decent starting pace, adding speed as he went until he was in a full run. He decided to run into Granny's for a coffee, hoping Emma had an early shift. He hadn't messaged her back and she hadn't persued the conversation. He hated the distance, but he was trying to not push her any farther away. As he walked in he saw the familiar blonde curls flip as she left to give an order to the cooks. He smiled and propped his arm on the counter, waiting for her return. When she did return she looked shocked to see him.

"Good morning, love. Looks like you have gotten an early shift today. How about tomorrow?"

"Killian, you look like shit." She covered her mouth as she said it.

"Had a bit too much to drink last night, thought I'd come in for a coffee before work." He tried to play off as if he were fine.

"As for tomorrow I work eight to five. I'll be able to do dinner. It'll give Henry time to finish any homework. Bad day at work yesterday?"

"Something like that." His response was not an easy lie, but if she wanted to distance herself it was only fair if he did.

_Would she want to know I visited my deceased wife?_

She gave him a look and turned to pour his coffee. "You can talk to me, Killian."

"Funny, I keep trying and you keep ignoring me. Not so sure your offer is true." He snapped. "Apologies." He pulled out his wallet and paid for the coffee, not saying another word as he took his drink and walked out of the diner. He knew he was out of line, but he was tired of only worrying about her feelings. He was hurt, he wanted her at his side. His phone was silent the entire day, Emma had not yet so much as texted. He wanted to not be hurt by it, but it bothered him. He decided to repeat the nightly activity from the previous day. He visited Milah's grave site for an hour, dissolving his pain in his bottle afterwards. He made sure his alarm was set prior to drinking. It wasn't his first rodeo. The last thought of the night straying to the blonde that made his life more difficult.

His alarm buzzed him back to consciousness, sucking in the drool that was attempting to escape his mouth. He smacked his clock and stretched out onto the bed. He jolted out of bed, throwing on the nearest pair of jeans, not minding whether they were clean or not. He picked up the empty bottles and stored them in his study, where he stored all of his bottles. He quickly changed the bedsheets, grabbed his keys, and locked the front door.

The drive to the airport felt like hours, he was ready to see the face of someone who was always thrilled to see him. He pulled into the airport and headed inside. He waited at baggage claim, tapping his foot nervously. As passengers started arriving his nerves became a mess. "Get it together, Killian. You act like you're meeting them for the first time ever." He mumbled to himself before seeing the familiar bright blonde hair.

"Uncle Killy!!!" A voice who's owner he couldn't see screamed.

"Is that my Julie?" He called.

"Killian, you're early." Elsa chimed before pulling him into a hug. A grip tightened around his hips.

"Was the flight generous on you?" He asked as he pulled away and scooped up Julie.

"Surprisingly yes, now are you going to help with our bags or do you plan on holding her all day." She teased. He looked to Julie and kissed her nose.

"Your mother is right, I am always a gentleman so the bags I'll grab." Elsa showed Killian's to the bags and they made their way to the car.

"You look good, Killian. Better than last year, I mean." He smiled shyly at her before throwing the luggage into the trunk.

"I don't feel much better. Emma and Henry will be in for dinner, but she works today. We've not been speaking like we should so if it appears we're unhappy it's not that we are. I just don't know how to fix it, so I'm giving her time and space. She's the exact opposite of Milah and it's hard." Elsa looked into the back seat.

"We'll talk about this a little later, all right?" She squeezed his wrist. He caught the hint and gave her a nod. They pulled up to the house, Killian handed his keys to Elsa showing her which one goes to the house. He popped the trunk and pulled out the luggage while Elsa helped the kids out of their seats and into the house. Smee barked with pleasure, he had always enjoyed the two children. "I'll get you guys set up in my room. My bed is bigger than the spare bed."

"Oh Killian, you don't have to do that!"

"I insist." He smiled. he squatted where the children were playing with Smee. "Logan, you're so big! Do you know how old you are?" He asked, ruffling the boys hair. Logan held up three fingers.

"Three!" He yelled.

"Wow, so big. Can you count?" The boy nodded.

"One, two, free, four, five, six, seben, eight, nine, ten!"

"You're too smart!" He teased. "And you little lady, what are you learning in school?"

"We are spelling words, I can spell my name, I can spell small stuff. I've been working on your name too uncle Killy!" She flashed him a grin, a couple teeth missing from her smile. He looked over at Elsa, who's expression he couldn't quite read. His mind thought back to Emma, how he wished she could be here for this. He sighed, standing and walking over to Elsa.

"Why the long face?" She whispered. He scratched behind his ear.

"Nothing gets passed you, huh? Just thinking about Emma."

"What is it with you two anyways? Last I remember she was helping you get over a nightmare." She said jokingly.

"The father of her child is no good, said only if she follows his rules will she get more child support, but he's also getting visitation. When she told me she was going back to work I tried to get her to let me take care of her the way she does a male friend of hers. The guy has a thing for her and she knows it, they've kissed and I don't know. I guess it was jealousy, but she refused my offer and I mentioned him taking care of her and it's like that did it for her. I went into her work Monday and we had another argument. She's my first relationship since Milah and it makes me wonder how I managed to get married!"

"Oh Killian, I'm sorry things have been hard. Maybe you guys can make up? I'd like to see you happy again. You appear happy, but your eyes are sad."

"Uncle Killy? I'm hungry." Julie moaned.

"How about a sandwich? They have a mix over here you might enjoy."

"Okay great! Make sure you make one for Logan too! He eats as much as me!"

Killian laughed, "I can tell. He's a stocky lad. Two sandwiches coming up." "You don't limit their sugar intake do you?" He quietly asked Elsa. "I know everything here is sweeter than over there so I'm not sure how much they're used to."

"What you have will be fine." She reassured. He nodded, pulling out bread, peanut butter, and strawberry jam. He made the sandwiches quickly. "At the table, no food in the living room. And no feeding Smee." He said sternly. Both children ran to the table, making claim to the chair of choice. He sat the sandwiches down in front of them and walked into the living room. He turned on the television and turned to a children's station."Little entertainment while you eat." He smiled. "You guys have a few hours before you'll be meeting Emma and Henry."

"How old is Emma and Henry?" Julie asked through a mouthful.

"Julie Elisabeth Jones! Don't talk with a mouthful." Elsa rebuked. Julie swallowed her bite of sandwich.

"Sorry momma."

"Well Emma is my age, technically I'm a few years older. Like you with Logan, and Henry is seven years older than you."

"After they eat I'm going to get them and myself down for a nap. That flight was brutal." Killian nodded.

"Sounds like a plan. I'm going to head out and get something for dinner. Anything in particular you'd like to eat tonight?"

"Whatever you pick will be fine, my kids aren't picky eaters. Maybe ask Emma what she would like?" She suggested. He gave her another nod and pulled out his phone to message her.

_K:Good afternoon love, Elsa and the kids made it safely. They're here eating lunch. I'm fixing to head out to grab something to make for tonight. Anything in particular you or Henry would like?_

_E: Whatever is fine._

He grumbled to himself.

_K: I want to talk later as well if that's okay._

_E: Sure, what time should we get there?_

_K: After you get off and get a shower?_

_E: okay_

He hesitated.

 _K: I love you Emma Swan_.

She stopped responding and it just made him feel worse. He pocketed his phone and grabbed his keys off of the counter. "I'll be back in a few." He sulked.

"Killian?" Elsa's expression was worried. Killian gave her one final look, his expression confirming her worry. He left the house, he contemplated going to the bar. He had a couple hours to himself before he needed to worry about dinner or socializing with his family. He settled on having a single beer before picking up dinner. The beer did nothing to settle his dread. Paying his bill he walked out. He decided on spaghetti and garlic bread for dinner. It was quick, simple, and all kids love it was his excuse.

He returned to the house with two bags of groceries. Setting them on the kitchen counter he noticed the house was silent. He placed the cold items into the fridge until later. He still had a few hours until dinner. He pulled the bottles out of the second bag, rum and wine.

"Killian, you need to talk to someone." Elsa's voice spoke quietly from the doorway.

"What do you mean, Elsa?" He placed the wine in the fridge and left the rum on the counter.

"Do you have a minor drinking problem or have you turned into an alcoholic?"

"Are you accusing me of the latter?"

"It doesn't help anything, Killian. It doesn't stop the hurt, it doesn't ease the anxiety, you're only shortening your life drinking like you are."

"Elsa I'm fine, I only drink when I'm upset. I'm sorry that happens to be a little more frequent as of late. I promise to be sober around Julie and Logan, if that's what you're worried about." She shook her head.

"No, I'm worried about you. If things do go south with Emma, and I'm hoping like crazy things don't go south with her, you should consider coming back to England to stay."

"Even if things do go south, I can't leave. Milah is here."

"And your brother is in England."

"Elsa please don't make this a fight. Is that the real reason you decided to fly down?" He opened the rum and poured him a little.

"No, I came because I have news. I want to wait until dinner if that's okay." She lowered her voice.

"Sure Elsa, fine." He tossed the drink back and set the cup in the sink. "See I have control." He tried to lighten the mood but the damage was done. Elsa was hurt, she left him to sulk by himself.

_Good, being alone makes it easier._

He looked to see if she would come back before fetching the glass from the sink and pouring another cup. He drank quickly, stuffing the bottle into the liquor cabinet beside Emma's scotch. As five approached Killian was starting dinner. His nerves got the better of him so he sipped on rum while he cooked.

"Uncle Killy, I'm hungry. When is dinner going to be ready?" Julie whined.

"In just a little while. Go watch some television or play with your brother. Don't want to risk you getting burned in here now do we?" The doorbell rang and Julie perked up.

"Can I answer it? Please?" She begged, causing him to chuckle.

"Aye, better hurry before your mother gets it." With that she ran from the kitchen to get the door. He heard voices but couldn't make out words. He stirred the noodles hoping Emma wouldn't feel awkward being alone with people she didn't know, when Julie burst into the kitchen, hand in hand with Emma. "Here he is, uncle Killy I'm not staying. Emma was wondering where you were." She smiled at Emma before going back into the living room to torment Henry, Killian thought. He sat down his noodle spoon and walked over to her, grabbing her waist and pulling her into a hug. "God, I've missed you. I apologize again for my behavior." He wanted to kiss her, but he felt her tense under his grasp.

"You've been drinking?" She asked.

"Only a little bit. Still very much sober, I don't drink heavily around my niece and nephew." He pulled away but she grabbed his wrists.

"Killian, wait. I'm sorry, it wasn't easy for me to take help from August who I've known since I was a baby, you can't think it'd be easy taking it from yet another man. It had nothing to do with you, and these last few days without seeing and talking to you has been extremely hard. I did it to find my own feelings, I wasn't aiming to hurt you. I thought you'd be too busy to be phased by my absence." She leaned into him, pushing her lips to his. He was sure he melted, the contact being exactly what he needed. He pressed her back into the counter and attacked her mouth. All his worry and concern flaked away. A voice cleared .

"Sorry to interrupt, kids were thirsty. I was going to get them a glass of water." Killian blushed.

"Dinner is about done. I was fixing to put the bread in the oven. The spaghetti will be finished by the time the bread is. They can go ahead and get ready for it." Elsa smiled at Emma as she finished pouring the drinks. When they were alone Emma spoke first.

"I just need patience, don't rush me okay?"

"I've all the time in the world." He groaned. She kissed him again before letting him finish dinner. He sat the food on the table before calling everyone to the table. The kids were the first to sit, all of them including Henry were ready to eat. Elsa fixed her children a plate and waited for Henry and Emma to make theirs before fixing her own plate. They made light talk, laughter erupting every so often. Julie stared at Emma with a smile, which Emma returned.

"You don't look like Uncle Killy's last wife." She said, slurping her spaghetti.

"Julie Elisabeth! That's not appropriate." Her mother scolded.

"But why not?"

"She's fine, Milah was a part of her life. You're very right Julie, I don't look like her."

Emma smiled. "So Elsa, you said you had some news." Killian said, changing the subject.

"Yeah, I do. I didn't want to tell you over the phone. I've met someone. He loves the kids, goal oriented, has a job. We've been seeing each other for the last year. He recently asked for my hand in marriage and I said yes." Killian didn't know how he wanted to feel. His brother was dead, but the thought of another man raising his niece and nephew made his stomach turn.

"Wow, I didn't even notice the ring. Congratulations, Elsa. Are the kids excited?"

"Julie is, Logan here doesn't understand it quite yet." They looked to the children, Julie still smiling at Emma.

"Have you set a date?" Emma enquired. Killan watched as Emma and Elsa quickly became friends.

"Hey uncle Killy, did you know we go see poppa every month? We go with flowers and I get to tell him what all I've done all month!"

Elsa's eyes darted to Killian, his jaw tight. "Is that so?"

"Yeah, you should come visit him, I'm positive he'd like to hear some of your stories."

"How about we go when I come up for holiday?"

"Okay! Can we visit aunt Milah while we are here? Do you visit her like I visit poppa?"

Killan cleared his throat. "Uh, not really no." He avoided Emma's gaze at him. "If you want to go visit Milah you're more than welcome to. If tomorrow is pretty enough we may." He nodded at her.

"Killian, have you even been out that way? Do you remember where it's at?" Elsa whispered.

"Aye, I was just there yesterday. It's not a problem." He watched Emma through his peripheral careful not to actually look at her.

"Is that why you've been drinking excessively? Killian you don't-"

"Can we drop this? My girlfriend and her son are sitting right here. I'll take the kids and that will be it." He took a finishing swig of his drink, emptying it for the second time since dinner. "Don't worry mother that was my last cup of rum for the night." After dinner Killian loaded the dishwasher, making a point to let Henry bond with Julie while he could. He found humor in the way Henry grinned over Julie's accent. Elsa was getting Logan to sleep for the night.

"Are you okay, Killian?" Emma's voice was gentle.

"Aye, never better." He joked. She laid her hand on his arm to stop him from continuing.

"Please look at me." He turned to face her his eyes locking with hers.

"Like this? I should have told you, love. The past two days I've been out that way. Before that I hadn't been out there in over a year. You were avoiding me, I haven't felt that alone in some time." He confessed. He felt foolish admitting he felt so low.

"Well I won't be avoiding you again, but I can't take you up on your offer to take care of me. I may never be able to let you. It has nothing to do with you as a man, please believe me when I say that. I'm used to having to do everything on my own. And I can't condemn you for visiting the graveside of your wife. I would never, Killian."

"It's okay, Emma, I know you. I knew better than to suggest it. I want you to stay here this weekend." He smiled shyly, a hint of begging laced his face. She cupped his face and kissed him. This time it was her that backed him into the sink. His stomach felt full of butterflies as he felt her hand snake beneath his pants. He came alive in her grip before breaking his lips away.

"We don't need to do this right now, love. Henry, Elsa, and Julie are in the next room." She gave him a seductive look and started stroking him beneath his clothes. His mouth fell open and his back slouched. She took the moment to kiss his open mouth again. As she sped her pace he let out whimpers into her mouth, rocking in sync with her strokes until he was practically humping her hand. He frantically found his way under her jeans, finding her soaked as well. He was swift, his fingers entering her as quick as he could. She gasped into his mouth this time. They stroked in sync, him speeding to help her along before he erupted in her palm. When he felt her grip on his cock loosen and become sporadic he knew he was close. Her body convulsed in his grasp, her walls gripping him like a vice grip. Only when she came down from her orgasm did she pick back up with her own strokes. She broke her mouth from his.

"Do you want me to finish with my mouth or are you good like this?" She panted.

"Is that a trick question?" She rolled her eyes at him before squatting before him. She quickly unbuttoned his pants, his cock springing out at first chance. She was quick to take him in her mouth. He was nervous of being caught, but the risk was the biggest turn on. the She allowed him to pick the pace, and he wanted to feel bad but face fucking her had him on the edge of exploding. When she looked up at him and locked eyes he was over, his orgasm rushed over him at once, filling her throat with his hot seed he never broke eye contact. She helped button his pants, giving him a quick kiss and disappearing into the living room. He gave himself time to clear his head before joining the others. He took note to how fast Emma and Elsa got on. He knew Elsa would go to the ends of the earth to like who he chose to have in his life, but he didn't expect an instant connection.

"I see both wee ones are in bed." Elsa looked up at him and nodded.

"Yeah, she was complaining of being tired so I went ahead and had her lay down as well." He looked at his watch.

"Anyone game for a movie? I have time for just one before I need to be crashing myself. I don't know what all Julie has planned, but I'll need to be prepared."

"We actually need to head off, I have the opening shift tomorrow. I'll be off at two if you want to swing by the house and pick me up after I shower." Emma half smiled. Killian nodded, he was disappointed. He had made amends, and thought he would have more time with her. "You ready Henry? You have school tomorrow so you need sleep anyways."

"It's eight thirty mom." Henry groaned but stood up. "I had a great time, thanks for having us Killian. Oh and it was nice to meet you and the children, Elsa."

"It was lovely meeting you as well, Henry. Emma, do you plan on flying down with Killian for christmas?" Killian chuckled mostly to himself. "What are you laughing at?" She added.

"Just laughing at how well you get on with my girlfriend."

"I'm not sure about Christmas, I'll know the closer to time." Emma answered. He was going to try to convince her to fly with him, if it was the last thing he did. He was glad his family was as inviting to her, as if they'd been together for months.

He helped Emma to her car hopeful that the arguing was behind them. "So I'll see you tomorrow." He confirmed.

"Yeah, Henry will still be at school." He was trying to read her subtle words, trying not to confuse them for anything but an invitation to her body. He cocked an eyebrow and she cocked one back, confirming his suspicion.

"Aye, all right. I'll pick you up after work then." He leaned into the car, giving her a quick kiss so he didn't gross Henry out too bad. "Be careful going home, I love you Em."

"Love you too." She smiled, the words like music to his ears. He smiled back, watching as they left.

_This weekend, I'll ask about the test this weekend._

As he stepped inside Elsa gave him a look. "What?" He blushed.

"Just that I had to increase the volume on the telly to keep you from being heard." She laughed. He covered his eyes, his face turning a deep shade of red.

"I'm going to bed before you embarass me more, if that's even possible." She snickered at his comment.

"Are you sure you don't want to talk? Are you and Emma good?" He studied her, looking for a motive.

"Yeah we're better. We discussed it better and concluded we were both blooming mad."

"Good, I see how you look at her. It's similar to how you used to look at Milah. I want you happy Killian, you'll always be my brother. And I truly hope Emma decides to fly to England with you. I like her."

"Thanks Elsa, I'm going to try to convince her to come with me. She has incredibly high walls. I'm chiselng at them as much as I can."

"Well I happen to notice how she glows in your presence so I don't think you need to worry too much." She gave him a wink and shooed him off to the spare room.

"Goodnight, Els see you lot in the morning."

"Rest up, the kids are going to run you ragged." She warned.

"Oh, I know. I'm ready." He smirked. He was about to ask Elsa her opinion on the weekend find but thought better of it. He slipped out of his clothes and plopped into bed, if anything he was glad Emma was back on his side.

**Author's Note:**

> Again thanks for reading and I hope it's been interesting so far :) There definitely will be more.


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